


When Blue Meets Green

by DizzyBlackRaven



Series: Just Breathe [1]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Consensual Underage Sex, Homophobia, M/M, Mass Effect AU, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Promiscuity, Recreational Drug Use, Sexual Violence, Suicide Attempt, Triggers, Underage Drinking, Underage Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-28
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-19 17:55:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 24
Words: 150,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22935532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DizzyBlackRaven/pseuds/DizzyBlackRaven
Summary: This is a prequel to "Just Breathe". This story follows the story of John D. Shepard from birth to sixteen years, all leading up to the events of "Just Breathe". This story is a long time coming, and I do hope those that enjoyed the last story will give this one a chance.The story starts out slow, but quickly picks up as Shepard ages.WARNING!!! This story contains issues that may trigger some readers. That is not my intent, so please read with caution. There is a ton of violence and sexual content, way more graphic than my last story, so, as a precaution, I decided to go with the explicit rating just in case.I suck at summaries, so I'll just leave it at that.**This story is for Zounds_I_am_undone, Solgerd, Vondergeist, StanDick, and majy37 as well as the 17 guests who left kudos on this work! A special thank you to, tarva_shep, Krisalt, & Vondergeist. Thank you for your lovely comments. **
Relationships: Male Shepard (Mass Effect)/Original Male Character(s)
Series: Just Breathe [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1648417
Comments: 5
Kudos: 10





	1. A Child's Laughter

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tarva_shep](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=tarva_shep), [Krisalt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Krisalt/gifts), [Vondergeist](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vondergeist/gifts).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of John D. Shepard's life.

"I'm sorry, but we can't keep him. We've tried so hard to bond with him, but it just isn't working! We've wanted a child for so long and truly thought this was it," the young blonde-haired woman explained, tears pouring from her light-grey eyes, "But no matter what we do, he just won't respond to us."

"Please, reconsider! These things take time," the young social worker pleaded, "It's only been two months. Surely, he’ll begin to respond soon. What exactly are your concerns? Please, share your reasoning with me."

The young woman sighed heavily, unsure of how to begin. "He won't let me hold him, ever! Even when he cries, he wants nothing to do with me. He only allows me to hold him when he's hungry or needs changing. I try so hard to cuddle and show affection to him, but he just screams and kicks — pushing me away with all his might. I just can't — I feel like a failure of a mother, but I just can't do it anymore!" 

The young social worker took the glasses from his nose, and pinched the bridge to stifle an oncoming headache, "There could be any number of reasons as to why he’s behaving this way. He probably just needs more time. Sometimes babies in these circumstances are a bit more difficult and a little longer to bond. Tell me, how does your husband fare with him?"

The young woman laughed a bitter laugh. "Johnny's worse with him! He won't even let my husband touch him, not even to feed him. He punches and kicks so much that my husband just stops trying. He swears that Johnny has something wrong with him. You told us that he wasn't born with any drugs in his system, but the way he's been acting makes me wonder. I'm sorry, but we want a baby that we can bond with, and that just isn’t going to happen with Johnny."

The young social worker took a deep breath, knowing there was no talking them out of it. "I understand. We'll begin looking for a new placement for him as soon as possible. Would you mind keeping him until that placement is made?"

"I'm sorry, but no. We just can't take it anymore. Don't get us wrong, we really do love Johnny, but we’re exhausted, and we feel that our time with him is done."

"That is unfortunate, but I understand. I am assuming that you have Johnny with you."

"Yes, of course. He's in the lobby with my husband. I'll call him in." The young woman slowly walked to the door, opening it softly and motioning for her husband to come in.

The young man slowly walked towards the office door — a look of utter defeat on his face as he glanced sadly at the tiny baby boy in the small car seat he carried.

The social worker smiled slightly, trying to ease the tension coming off the young man. "Just hand him to me, and you can be on your way." 

"O-oh, okay. Sure." The young man nervously took the small squirming bundle from the carrier. Almost immediately, the tiny baby boy began to wail and lash out at the young man.

"See! This is what Johnny does! He just doesn't want anyone touching him," the young woman explained.

Ignoring the protest of the tiny wailer, the young man with tears in his eyes, gently kissed the infant's forehead. "We wish nothing but happiness for you, Johnny."

The young social worker carefully took the infant from the young man, smiling as he offered a free hand to the young man. "He'll be fine. I'm terribly sorry it didn't work out. I do wish you both the best of luck in the future." 

Taking the hand and shaking it firmly, the young man smiled, "Thank you, sir. Take good care of Johnny."

"We'll do our best." The young social worker assured them as the young couple made their way out. Looking down at the still wailing bundle, the social worker sighed loudly, "What are we going to do with you, little man? That's the second family, and you're only four-months-old. Are you trying to set a record or something? Why won't you warm up to anyone?"

At that, the small bundle promptly stuck out his tiny tongue and blew a raspberry at the stunned social-worker.

Laughing a little, the young man gently bopped the defiant little infant on the nose. "You're a cheeky little thing, aren't you!? Well, I guess I had better find you a home, little Shepard. Easier said than done, eh?" 

**~~~☆~~~**

**Two years later —**

"Hey, you! Come play with me!" The voice of a small child, no older than five with dark-brown hair, and warm chocolate coloured eyes, rings out in the silence of the large playroom. 

A small boy of two years turned his bright blue eyes towards the sound, a confused look appearing upon his tiny visage. "Huh?"

"I said, 'come play with me'!" The older boy insisted, his big brown eyes sparkling with energy and just a glint of mischief.

The toddler cocked his tiny blonde head to the side and contemplated the request. After a brief pause, the small boy simply shook his head at the older boy.

"Why not?" The dark-haired boy asked, growing increasingly more irritated by the young toddler before him.

The blonde-haired boy just shrugged as he continued playing alone with the building blocks he had gathered.

Growing progressively more frustrated, the dark-haired boy suddenly grabbed the smaller boy by the arm. "I said I want you to play! So, get up and play!"

In an instant, the tiny blonde bit down on the older boy's arm — hard enough to draw blood. The older boy wailed in pain, and the second he was free from the toddler's maw, he ran as fast as he could to the housemother.

"Mrs. Bakara, Mrs. Bakara! He bit me! He bit me! Look! Look!" The dark-haired boy whined as the tears ran down his face.

Caring, yet firm with the children in her care, Mrs. Bakara was a lovely young woman in her early thirties, standing 5'5" with short amber hair and warm hazel eyes — she was a strong, but fair lady who never gave less than her all for the children in her care.

"Let me see," the housemother spoke softly as she gently took the older boy's arm, examining the wound, carefully, as she spoke, "Shepard did this to you?"

"Uh-huh! He bit me for no reason! I just asked him to play, and he hurt me!" The child explained as fresh tears began to fall from his dark-brown eyes.

" _Sigh—_ That child. Alright, alright. Let's get this taken care of, and then we'll talk to Shepard about his bad behaviour. How does that sound, Elliot?"

The dark-haired boy thought for a second— "Okay, as long as he doesn't bite me again."

Bakara chuckled lightly at the little boy before her. "I'll protect you, no need to worry." She took the child's hand and led him off to bandage his wounded arm.

**~~~☆~~~**

"Johnny… Johnny, I'm talking to you," Bakara's voice was demanding, but the tiny little blonde continued to play with his blocks, ignoring her completely.

"Is something wrong with him?" Elliot asked, looking up at his housemother, head cocked to the side in confusion.

Bakara sighed loudly. "Johnny…." still no answer, " **SHEPARD**!" Bakara yelled, immediately catching the tiny toddler's attention.

Shepard quickly turned his sharp blue eyes towards the woman, giving her his full, undivided attention.

"Shepard, did you bite your friend?" 

The toddler shook his head slowly at the question.

"He's lying! He's lying!" The dark-haired boy screamed.

"SHUSH!" Bakara's voice was harsh, causing the young boy to silence his protest. "So, you **didn't** bite your friend?"

"No. I bite him." The small blonde pointed at Elliot.

"So, you **did** bite your friend." 

The tiny blonde shook his head furiously while pointing at the older boy. "No! Him!" 

"Elliot **is** your friend, Shepard. You shouldn't bite him." Bakara explained.

"No. He's not." Shepard stated, blue eyes set in a determined stare.

Bakara sighed. "What am I going to do with you, little one? Apologize to Elliot."

The defiant toddler quickly furrowed his brow, before adamantly shaking his head. 

"Why do you refuse to apologize? You admitted that you hurt Elliot. When we hurt people, we apologize and promise never to do it again. Now, apologize," Bakara insisted.

Shepard thought for a moment and then shook his head. 

"Shepard, that is unacceptable! You **will** apologize to Elliot, and when you are done apologizing, you are not allowed to play with any toys for the rest of the day, and you are to put away all the toys when the others have finished playing. Do you understand?"

"No," Shepard spoke firmly, never taking his blue eyes off his housemother.

"What!?" Bakara was taken aback. Shepard was difficult, but he had never been **that** difficult before. 

"Him first." The toddler demanded, pointing directly at Elliot.

"That's not how it works, Shepard. You bit Elliot; he didn't bite you. That means **you** apologize. Do you understand now?" Bakara's voice was gentle, as she explained.

"He gwab me first." The toddler explained, his words coming out a bit mispronounced as with every toddler.

"Elliot, is that true?" Bakara asked, looking the older boy directly in the eyes.

The dark-haired boy began to stutter nervously. "N-n-no. He's lying!"

"Elliot, I won't be mad. Just tell me the truth. Did you grab Shepard?" Bakara's words were firm but gentle.

"I only wanted him to play with me. I just tried to pull him up, so he could play." Elliot explained, looking at the floor as he spoke.

"I see. Don't you think you owe Shepard an apology too?" 

The dark-haired boy nodded slowly. "Yeah, I guess so. I'm sorry I grabbed you. I promise not to do it again."

"Now, it's your turn to apologize to Elliot," Bakara said as she gave Shepard a demanding look.

"Sowwy, I bite," The little toddler apologized.

"Shepard, you know you can't do that again, right? You know you shouldn't hurt your friends or any of the other kids, don't you?" Bakara lectured, hoping he would understand, "You really hurt Elliot. It's not acceptable behaviour. Do you understand?"

Little Shepard nodded at her words.

"Okay. Now that that's settled, you are both going to put away the toys, and no more playing for today."

"But I wanna play!" Elliot whined.

"Elliot, you know the rules. You misbehave, you don't get to play. Shepard, you understand, don't y—" The words died in her throat, and she smiled at the sight before her.

Little Shepard was already putting away all the toys, starting with the building blocks which he had been playing with earlier — not once complaining about his punishment.

"See, Elliot. Shepard isn't complaining."

"He's weird, though," Elliot whispered aloud.

"Elliot, be nice," Bakara warned.

"Fine…" Elliot huffed as he began gathering his share of the toys.

**~~~☆~~~**

**A week later —**

"Rose, I really wish that Shepard would smile, just once," Bakara said as she slowly sipped her tea.

"Bakara-girl, you know as well as I do, that baby doesn't smile. I've been here with him the whole time, and even as an infant, he's never cracked a smile." Bakara's fellow housemother, Rose replied, stirring some sugar into her tea.

Rose Kern was by far the most genuine person that Bakara Urdnot had ever met. That was probably the reason they had grown so close throughout the last few years. Rose was a petite woman with dark skin, dark-green eyes, and short pixie-like black hair. At twenty-nine, she was only slightly younger than Bakara, and together they had quickly become the best of friends.

"I wonder why, though," Bakara pondered, "He's so small. I wonder if there's anything wrong with him physically."

"I doubt it. He hardly ever gets sick. If there's something wrong, it's most definitely a mental issue. Maybe he's autistic," Rose offered, "He rarely speaks and doesn't socialize with other children at all. All signs point to autism."

"Hmm, I don't think so. But maybe…" Bakara contemplated the possibility for a while before speaking again. "I think I'll have him tested."

The two ladies sat in comfortable silence, until, suddenly, a giggle broke the silence.

"Did you hear that?" Bakara asked, unsure of what she heard.

"I did. Who in the world could it be? The only baby here is Shepard, the others are all outside, playing," Rose answered, confused as to whom it could be.

The giggling began again, and the two ladies got up from their table and looked around the large playroom.

"There's no one here, except for Shepard. See, he's standing over there looking up at the TV," Rose determined, "It must have been our imagination. We've been around babies for so long that we're hearing them giggle in our heads."

"No, Rose. Look," Bakara motioned for Rose to look in the direction of the tiny little blonde.

There was another giggle, and Shepard's too-small shoulders moved up-and-down with the sound.

"I think it's Shepard. He's actually giggling about something." Bakara was pleasantly shocked to see the tiny little boy actually enjoying something.

"What in the world is he watching," Rose asked, curiosity taking over.

"Let's go see!" Bakara insisted as they quietly made their way over.

The little blonde was giggling away while staring intently at the television before him.

"Hockey!?" Rose blurted out, shock and surprise evident in her voice. "I expected something else, like a cartoon, maybe, but this... Hockey, huh…"

"You like hockey, Shepard?" Bakara asked softly, kneeling, so she was on his level, hoping he would respond to her without losing his interest in the game.

"Uh-huh. Skate. Look," The tiny blonde pointed at the television while giving his housemother a bright smile, his big blue eyes shining in wonder.

"I see that," Bakara chuckled at the excitement in the toddler's reaction. "Would you like to learn to skate, Shepard?" 

"Bakara-girl, I wouldn't ask that, if I were you — you know there's no budget for it," Rose warned, skeptical of the whole idea.

"Oh, shush! I'll pay for it myself if I have to!" Bakara huffed at her friend as she turned her attention back to the mesmerized little boy. "Well, Shepard, would you like to learn?"

The toddler's sapphire-blue eyes lit up and went wide with excitement. Nodding his little blonde head as hard as he possibly could, he couldn't contain his excitement as he replied, "Yes! I learn! I be good I pwomise!"

Bakara let out a warm laugh. "I'll set it up today, and hopefully, we can go by the end of the week. Is that okay with you?"

Bakara was utterly surprised as the usually stoic boy wrapped his tiny arms tightly around her neck and began thanking her over and over.

"You're welcome, baby." Bakara gently kissed the top of his head as she decided to sit down and watch the rest of the game with the little boy.

"I hope you know what you're doing," Rose warned with a smile, chuckling as she made her way back to the table. "That woman's gone crazy. Teaching a baby how to ice-skate. That woman has lost her damn mind!"

Shepard took to the ice like a duck to water, and Bakara was certain that this was going to be the little boy's calling in life. In the weeks that followed, she had had the privilege of seeing him not only smile but genuinely laugh as well. It was a memory she knew she would cherish for the rest of her days.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slow start, but it gets better. I chose Bakara as housemother, because she's just so damn motherly. LOL  
> Thanks for reading!


	2. I Love You, Mommy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard is no ordinary child. For as long as the tiny blonde can remember, he has heard a voice inside his head. It is as natural to him as breathing. Even if others find it strange. 
> 
> Young Shepard finally finds a mother.
> 
> **The voice is in italics**

**Four years later —**

"Shepard, ten more minutes, and we have to go!" Bakara yelled, letting the little blue-eyed hockey player know that his time on the ice was ending for the day.

"Okay, Mrs. Bakara," the little boy called back before skating to the other side of the rink. "Dammit, I really don't wanna stop! I think I'm getting pretty good."

_'You say that every time! I swear to god if they'd let you, you would live on the goddamn ice!'_

"Well, yeah. I guess I would. You like it too, don't you? I mean, you seem to." Shepard replied as he successfully took a shot.

_'Hell yeah, I like it! I fuckin' love it, but I don't wanna live here!'_

Shepard chuckled a bit, grinning to himself. "Your loss."

"Is he talking to himself again?" Rose asked, shaking her head in disapproval. "And you're absolutely positive that he isn't autistic?"

"Rose, we've been through this. He is **not** autistic. He was tested, remember. He just has an imaginary friend. He'll grow out of it." Bakara explained as she continued to smile at the tiny boy she had grown so very attached to.

"If you say so." Rose shrugged, a hint of doubt in her voice.

For the last three years or so, the housemothers had begun to notice the little blonde hockey prodigy talking more and more. The only problem was that he seemed to be talking to himself. His behaviour seemed to alarm Rose, whereas Bakara had found the behaviour totally normal. In her experience, several of the children she had taken care of over the years had had imaginary friends, and they had all grown out of it quick enough. Bakara was quite sure that little Shepard would as well.

"Shepard! Time's up! Come on in!" Bakara's smile warm as the boy promptly skated towards her.

"Can we come back next Saturday," Shepard asked quietly, blue eyes focused on the ground as he spoke.

"Of course we can, as long as you finish all of your school-work," Bakara assured him as she began taking off all the protective gear that seemed to swallow the too small child. "We're going to have to get you some more vitamins, little man," Bakara teased warmly.

"I know I'm little. I hate being so fuckin' little!" The little blonde pouted, unaware of his foul language.

"Shepard, what did I tell you about cursing?" Bakara scolded.

The little blonde boy promptly put his tiny hand over his mouth. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to!"

"Try harder, okay. Honestly, where did you pick up such language?" Bakara shook her head at the little boy, but couldn't stop the hint of a smile that had managed to form.

"I dunno." The little blonde shrugged. "It just comes out when I talk."

"Well, try to catch it before it leaves your mouth. Can you do that for me, please?" Bakara asked as she extended her hand to the boy.

"I'll try," Shepard promised as he got up and took the outstretched hand.

"Excuse me, ma'am. I hate to bother you, but is this your son?" A stranger with short blonde hair, stubble, and light-blue eyes had stopped them in their tracks.

"Why do you ask?" Bakara asked, pulling Shepard up into her arms.

"Forgive me, this must seem very suspicious, but I'm just asking because I was wondering how long he's been skating? He's very talented." The man explained.

"Yes, he's very talented, and to answer your question, he's been skating since he was 2," Bakara answered, still suspicious of the young man before her.

"So, how old is he now?" The man inquired.

"He just turned six, and we really have to go," Bakara insisted.

"Of course, of course. I'm sorry for taking up your time." The man smiled, blue eyes shining as he made his way past them. "See you later, little dude."

"Who was that?" Shepard asked, his little brow furrowed in confusion.

"No one you need to worry about," Bakara assured.

As they exited the building, they saw that the same man that had taken an interest in the tiny blonde was now having a conversation with Rose.

"For the love of… Shepard, how would you like to go to Tim's and get a snack?" Bakara asked, unwilling to deal with the strange man again.

"Okay," Shepard replied, his blonde hair shining in the sun.

**~~~☆~~~**

"Bakara-girl, have you been here the whole time? I was waiting by the car for you. You could have told me you were coming here. I would have joined you." Rose spoke, obviously annoyed at her friend.

"That man you were talking to, the one by the car, he was asking about Shepard, and it made me uncomfortable." Bakara explained, "I didn't want to deal with him again, so I brought Shepard here."

"Bakara, you are so paranoid! He was a nice guy. He just liked the way the baby played, that's all," Rose teased, chuckling a bit at her dear friend.

"I don't like it. He was too interested in my baby." Bakara whispered as she gently stroked Shepard's baby soft hair.

"He's not **your** baby, Bakara-girl. You're getting way too attached. Our job is to take care of the babies and help them get fostered or adopted," Rose reminded her in a firm but caring tone. "You remember that right?"

"Of course, I do! I understand that, but Shepard is special. He only responds to me. He never speaks to anyone else. You know that. I can't let just anyone near him." Bakara smiled softly at the tiny little creature sitting beside her.

"You do know that he's going to be moved soon anyway," Rose informed her sadly as she gently touched Bakara's hand. "His time with us is growing short, Bakara-girl. You might need to start distancing yourself now."

"Easier said than done," Bakara laughed bitterly before turning a fond gaze towards the tiny blonde at her side. "Just look at that face! Who wouldn't fall in love with that face?" Shepard giggled as Bakara cuddled him close and began to tickle him.

"Sigh— Let's get home, crazy lady!" Rose teased as they made their way back to the group home.

**~~~☆~~~**

**The following Saturday —**

"You have to see this kid, honey! I saw him last week, and I swear he's a natural!" The blonde-haired man was smiling brightly, as he took his wife by the hand, leading her to the seat with the best view of the ice, "This kid is perfect! I tell ya, he will be the answer to all of our prayers. If I groom him just right, he'll be the best damn player that this city has ever seen. Hell, the best that has ever played the game! We won't ever have to worry about money ever again with this kid!"

"Jeez, you talk like he's a thing! I want a kid, not a freakin' commodity!" His wife, a young woman with long, light-brown hair and caramel coloured eyes, responded, unamused by her husband's antics. "We have been trying so hard to have a baby, and all you care about is money, fame, and glory."

"Baby, that's not true! He's perfect! Seriously, he'll be the perfect son! He's so goddamn cute! And he looks like me." The man grinned, knowing that fact alone would help to sway his reluctant wife.

"Really? He looks like you — blonde hair, blue eyes," The young woman asked, skeptical of her husband's description of the young boy.

"Would I lie to you," he asked as his wife rolled her eyes.

"As usual, you are jumping the gun. We don't even know if he's available to be fostered. This could be a massive waste of time," the young woman warned.

"Relax, I already spoke to one of the ladies last week. I think her name was Rose. Anyway, she assured me that he was available. This is the one, I know it!"

"Alright, alright. I'll stay and watch, but I make no promises." The young woman smiled as she took her seat.

"Yes! That's all I wanted to hear, babe!" The man said as he kissed her on the cheek before taking a seat next to her.

**~~~☆~~~**

"Shepard, do you want me to help you down?" Rose asked, offering her hand to the little blonde.

Shepard shook his head slowly, pointing in the direction of Mrs. Bakara.

"Bakara, he won't let me help him down… as usual," Rose said, shaking her head at the mini hockey player.

"Come here, baby, and I'll help you down." Bakara smiled as the little blue-eyed boy allowed himself to be placed on the ice. "Have fun!"

"I will," Shepard replied, waving his tiny hand back to her.

**~~~☆~~~**

"Here they come," the young blonde could barely contain his excitement.

"Which one is he," His wife asked, as she scanned the rink. "They all look alike with those helmets on."

"He's right there! The little one!" The man exclaimed as he pointed the tiny blonde out to his wife.

"Oh, my god! He's so little! He's precious! I thought you said he was six," his wife scolded as she punched his arm gently.

"He is! He's just small. He'll grow, and if not, I'll toughen him up. He'll be fine." The man assured her as he continued to watch the small player.

"Who is he talking to?" 

"Huh?" The husband asked, unsure as to what she meant.

"Look closely at him…" the young woman paused as she watched the little boy closely. "There! See, he's talking. Look at his mouth."

"Maybe he talks to himself before he shoots. What does it matter? It's not important." The man assured.

"Uh-huh. He better not be weird. I don't think I could stand having a kid like that." 

"Just watch! You can be all paranoid later." The young man scolded as they settled in to watch the little boy skate.

**~~~☆~~~**

"Well, what did you think? Cute, huh? And talented! You can't deny that!"

"He **is** cute, but I'm not convinced. I need to get a good look at him." The young lady replied, making her way towards the little boy and his guardian.

"No problem! You are gonna love this kid!" The young man promised.

"Okay, Shepard, let's get you out of all that gear." Bakara smiled as she gently removed the helmet from the little boy, revealing a head full of fine blonde hair. "You're going to need a haircut soon, little man. It's starting to get in your eyes."

"He's gorgeous! My friends will be so jealous! I have never seen a prettier little boy!" The young woman's words startled the little boy and his housemother, causing them to search out the source.

"Thank you," Bakara replied as she gently removed the skates from little Shepard's feet.

"My husband was right! He's perfect! We'll take him. Where do we sign?" The woman smiled as she stretched out her arms to the confused little boy.

"What the hell do you think you're doing!?" Bakara yelled, slapping her hand away from the tiny blonde.

"I'm sorry. I was getting ahead of myself. My name is Danielle, 'Dani' for short, and this is my husband, Eric. We're the Stevensons." The young woman said, motioning to the man now standing beside her.

"I don't give a damn what your name is! What were you thinking, reaching out for him like that!?" Bakara's anger, becoming more apparent with every word.

"I-I'm sorry. I just wanted to hold him for a bit. He's so adorable, and he really should get to know his soon-to-be mom. Don't you think?" 

"Soon-to-be mom? Have you lost your mind!? You can't just come up to a child and decide they're yours!" Bakara scolded as she fumed.

"I'm sorry, but isn't he up for foster placement?" The young man chimed in. "I was told that he was available for placement last Saturday."

"I never said that!" Bakara exclaimed defensively.

"Not you, but the other lady. Rose. I think that was her name anyway." The man explained as he waved at the small boy.

"Even if he was **available for placement** , there are rules that must be followed. Rose knows that." Bakara quickly put Shepard's gear away and gathered him into her arms. "Let's go, Shepard. We're leaving."

They got halfway to the exit when the young man's voice rang out. "So, he **is** available. Good to know. We'll file the paperwork tomorrow."

Bakara froze where she stood, her blood turning to ice, before swallowing her fear and exiting the building.

**~~~☆~~~**

"Hey, are you two ready to go? Did you have fun, baby?" Rose asked with a great big smile on her face.

"How could you do that!?" Bakara yelled.

"Oh, Lord, what did I do this time?" Rose asked, unsure as to why Bakara was so upset.

"How could you tell that man that Shepard was available for placement!?" Bakara placed little Shepard in his booster seat and entered the passenger's seat, slamming the car door behind her.

"Bakara-girl, you can't be mad at me for doing my job. That just makes no sense." Rose replied as she got in the driver's seat.

"Last time I checked, we didn't tell complete strangers the status of our children."

" _Sigh—_ Bakara, the man is **in** the foster program. I met him about a month ago when he and his wife were getting their credentials in order. He happened to see me with Shepard and assumed, **correctly** , that Shepard was a foster child." Rose explained as she began driving in the direction of the group home.

"I don't like it, Rose. The way they acted. They acted like children buying a pet, not like a mature couple taking in a baby." Bakara voiced her concerns in the hope that Rose would see her side of things.

"Bakara, you are so attached that no one would ever be good enough in your eyes. It's time to cut the cord." 

"What's going on? Did I do something bad?" The tiny boy's voice was barely a whisper, and his big blue eyes were shining with unshed tears, breaking Bakara's heart.

"No, baby. You didn't do anything wrong. It's just a misunderstanding. That's all." Bakara tried to calm the little blonde as best she could.

"Bakara!" Rose said in a warning tone.

"I'll handle it, Rose. No need to upset him until we know for sure what's going to happen."

"I hope you're right." Rose was silent for a few minutes before speaking once more. "Are you mad at me?"

"No, Rose. I'm not mad. You were doing your job. I'm just really upset." Bakara explained. 

"You know I'll be here for you." 

"I know, Rose. And I appreciate it." Bakara smiled reassuringly at her old friend. "I just hope the baby is okay in the end."

"Amen, sister! That's what we always pray for at the end of the day, isn't it," Rose agreed as they made their way home.

**~~~☆~~~**

**Two weeks later —**

"I'm against it! They're not a suitable match for Shepard. They are way too young, and it shows. Shepard needs special attention — attention that I just don't think he'll get with this family." Bakara's voice was calm yet firm as she clearly stated her opinion on the proposed placement of the tiny blonde.

"Mrs. Urdnot — Bakara, we have been very thorough in our selection process, and this family has passed every requirement — jumped through every hoop that was asked of them, don't you think that counts for something?" The young social worker retorted. "They obviously want the child, and while they may be young, they are eager to learn. I think they will be a nice fit for the young man."

"Tell me, what do you know of Shepard?" Bakara asked curiously.

"What?"

"What do you know of Shepard? I'm curious, so, please, if you will indulge me — tell me what you know of the child." Bakara insisted.

"I don't understand the reasoning behind the question, but I'll play along." The young man agreed with a hint of confusion on his face. "Let's see…" The young man began to glance through the file on his desk as he spoke, "He was abandoned, exactly two days after he was born. He was left in the lobby of Vancouver General, so he's a 'safe haven' baby. The band on his wrist had the surname of Shepard, and his date of birth, April the 11th—"

"No! I mean, what do you **know** about him? All you’re doing is reading from a file!" Bakara insisted, "A file can't capture a child's personality, and that personality must be taken into consideration. If the personality isn't considered, then the placement will fail, doing more damage to the already fragile child. I have been doing this for fifteen years now. I know what I'm talking about."

"I have no doubt that you speak the truth," the young man explained, "And I understand your apprehension. But the sad reality is that this is the first time anyone has ever shown even the slightest interest in fostering little Shepard. We've had him for six years now, and aside from two disastrous placements — all before he was five-months-old, I remind you — there have been no offers to even try to foster him. This placement is a good thing! They are willing to **try** , even though he is distant and withdrawn, they still wish to try. He has a chance at a **real** home, Bakara. He has the chance to be a part of a **real** family. Don't you want that for him?"

"Of course I do — I just want to make sure that this doesn't end badly for him." Bakara explained, "He's not like other children. He isn't a social butterfly. He gets anxious around people — kids, adults — age doesn't matter. He shuts down, around them all."

"And we have explained that. They don't mind. They are willing to do the work, Bakara." The young social worker insisted, pinching the bridge of his nose as he spoke.

"You've already made the decision, haven't you?" Bakara whispered sadly.

"I'm sorry, but yes. The arrangements have been made."

Bakara quietly walked to the door and glanced out at the tiny little blonde she had grown so very fond of. "How long until they come?"

"Three days. That's the date we have set." The young man answered.

" **Three** **days**! There's no way he'll be ready! I have to explain things to him! It'll take at least a week!" Bakara insisted.

"Five is the most that I can give." The man replied, feeling genuinely sorry for the lady before him. "I know this will be hard, but this is the best thing for him. You'll see."

Bakara laughed a bitter laugh. "I truly hope you're right because if you aren't, that precious little boy will be the one paying for it."

**~~~☆~~~**

"How'd it go, Bakara-girl?" Rose asked, hoping for the best. "Any luck changing their minds?"

Bakara looked up, sadly, at her friend and merely shook her head. "They're making a huge mistake, Rose. I just know it!"

Rose sighed. "You did all you could. No one could do more."

"I haven't done enough," Bakara whispered, defeatedly.

"I didn't want to mention it before, in case you changed their minds, but the Stevensons are coming to spend the day with him tomorrow," Rose informed her friend, her tone, apologetic and sad.

"Tomorrow, huh," Bakara sighed. "I'll have to get him ready."

"I'll do it," Rose offered. "You can use the extra time to decide how you want to handle his placement."

"No. He won't let you." Bakara smiled wistfully. "Besides, I want to spend as much time as I can with him."

Rose looked at her with sorrow in her eyes. "I understand."

**~~~☆~~~**

"Shepard, time to get up," Bakara whispered, shaking the little one from his slumber. "We have to get you dressed. You're going to have company this morning."

Rubbing the sleep from his bright blue eyes, the tiny blonde yawned as he began to speak, "I don't know nobody."

Bakara chuckled a little. "It's anyone, not nobody, and the people that are coming are very interested in meeting you. You remember the young couple from the hockey rink, don't you?"

The little blonde furrowed his brow in concentration. "The crazy lady that tried to touch me, and the other guy?"

Bakara let out a small laugh before stifling it. "Yes, that's the couple. They were just interested in meeting you and handled it badly, do you understand?"

Little Shepard shrugged, "I guess."

"Okay, let's get you dressed. Oh, my, I still haven't taken you for a haircut! We'll have to do that soon, won't we?" Bakara smiled as she continued preparing her young charge for visitors.

Once Shepard was dressed, his hair combed, and his teeth brushed, Bakara led him to the large playroom where they awaited the young couple.

"Are you nervous, baby?" Bakara asked, noticing how fidgety the little boy was becoming.

"No. I just don't wanna be here. That's all." The little blonde pouted.

"I thought you liked the playroom." 

"I do… when I'm by myself. I don't wanna meet nobody," the little boy explained.

"It's anybody, not nobody, and meeting people isn't so bad." Bakara explained, "We met, and it turned out alright, didn't it?"

The little blonde shook his head at his housemother as he spoke, "That's different! You're **you**. They're not you."

Bakara smiled at the little boy, hugging him tight to her chest. "I love you so much! You know that, right?"

"I love you too." The little boy said, hugging her back as hard as he could.

Bakara had tears in her eyes when she heard the door open, and much to her great dread, the Stevensons entered the room.

Drying her eyes, she gracefully greeted the young couple, shaking their hands and introducing the tiny boy to the would-be parents.

"Mr. and Mrs. Stevenson, this is John Shepard. Shepard, this is Mr. and Mrs. Stevenson." Bakara explained as the small blonde continued to hide behind her, holding on to her leg for dear life.

"Hi, Johnny. It's your new mommy. Come on out so Mommy can see you…" The young woman tried her best to coax Shepard out from behind Bakara's skirt.

"I don't think he's ready to call you 'mommy' just yet, maybe try speaking to him as an ordinary person," Bakara suggested, irritated by the way that the woman was acting.

"Yeah, honey. Let's take our time and let him get used to us first, eh." The young man said, taking his wife's hand in his.

"Okay, fine. I'm just so excited!" The lady cooed as she tried to peek at the little boy hiding behind the housemother.

Bakara gently took the little boy's hand and knelt down so that she was on his level. "Don't worry, Shepard. I'll be sitting right over there. If you need me, just call out, and I'll be there. Understand?"

"Uh-huh." The little boy whispered, reluctant to let go of her hand.

"It'll be alright, little one. I promise." Bakara whispered as she kissed his tiny forehead before turning to the overzealous young couple. "Shepard may not talk to you. Please be aware that this is perfectly normal behaviour for him. If he doesn't respond to you, please don't take it personally. He has always been distant. Be patient with him, and everything should be fine."

"He'll be fine once he gets to know us." The young man insisted.

"As you say… Please let me know if I can help you with anything or if you need assistance, of any kind." Bakara nodded as she made her way over to the observation table.

"We got this! Right, baby." The young man grinned as he made his way to stand before the tiny blonde. "I'm your new dad, but you can call me 'Eric' until you're comfortable. Okay, little dude."

Shepard looked at the young man with disinterest, already uneasy with the situation.

"And you can call me 'Dani' until you're ready to call me mommy," The young woman chimed in.

"Shepard, say hello," Bakara instructed from across the room.

The tiny blue-eyed boy gave his best pout before speaking, "Hi."

"Why do you call him 'Shepard'? 'Johnny' is so much cuter." Dani asked, genuinely curious as to why they called the child by his last name.

"He's comfortable with that name. That's all," Bakara simply stated.

"Well, we're calling him 'Johnny'!" The woman insisted, her caramel eyes glittering.

_'What the fuck!? Can they do that!?'_ The voice asked, angry about the sudden change.

"I don't know… I don't like it." The little blonde spoke aloud as he furrowed his tiny brow in disapproval.

"Oh! He spoke!" The woman smiled, thinking she was making progress. "You'll get used to it, Johnny. Don't you worry."

"Yeah. You are gonna be having so much fun that you won't care what we call you." The man assured the tiny child.

_'Unlikely!'_

"Really…" Shepard whispered.

"Absolutely!" Eric exclaimed.

Little Shepard cocked his head to the side and gave the young man a steely look. "I wasn't talking to you."

"Huh," the man was confused, but quickly shrugged it off. "Okay… no problem! So, you like hockey, eh."

Shepard just nodded his tiny head, his blonde hair shining with the movement.

"You have beautiful hair." Dani tried to compliment the little boy but got no response. Deciding to change the subject to something she knew would catch his interest, she asked, "I'll bet you have a favourite hockey team. Your dad– er — I mean, Eric has a favourite team. So, maybe you two can talk about that, huh?" 

"'Nucks," came the boy's simple reply.

"Yeah. That's good, but don't you like the Flames better?" Eric asked, hoping to get the stoic little boy to open up.

"Flames suck." The tiny blonde stated in an extremely serious tone. 

Dani broke out in a fit of laughter. "Daddy's from Calgary, so he really loves the Flames."

Shepard shrugged his little shoulders, "So. They still fuckin' suck."

Eric broke out laughing as Bakara scolded the tiny blonde from across the room. "Shepard! You know better!"

"I'm sorry. It just came out." Little Shepard apologized, looking down at his feet in embarrassment.

"It's cool, little man," Eric assured him. 

"Eric, I think you've met your match." Dani chuckled, "He might even convert you to a Canuck."

"Hell no! He's young and naive. I'll show him the error of his ways. He'll be a Flames fan in no time!" The young man boasted.

_'Yeah… not goddamn likely!'_

"Yep," The little blonde whispered.

"See, he already agrees with me!" Eric bragged.

Growing frustrated at the man, Shepard shook his little head furiously. " **I'm not talking to you**!"

"Whoa, calm down, little guy!" The young woman exclaimed as she reached out to touch the boy's soft blonde hair.

" **Stop!** " The tiny blonde screamed as he retreated to the far corner of the room.

"Great! Now, look what you did!" The young man growled.

"What? I didn't do anything! He just freaked out! That wasn't my fault!" The young woman argued.

Noticing the situation beginning to deteriorate, Bakara rose quickly to her feet and called for Shepard to come to her.

In an instant, the tiny little blonde was running into her arms. "Are you tired, little one?" Bakara asked softly.

Shepard nodded furiously, refusing to remove himself from the safety of Bakara's arms.

"I'm sorry, but as you can see, he is very tired," Bakara explained. "Please, excuse me while I take care of him. I'll be back shortly." With that, Bakara left the room with little Shepard in tow.

"He's six. Why the hell does he need a nap?" Dani asked, still upset over the situation. "Maybe this is a bad idea."

"Jesus, Dani! Not this again!" Eric scolded. "Look how fucking little he is, eh. He probably just gets tired easily and was cranky because he wanted to sleep. So, stop with the goddamn paranoia! We are **not** passing up this opportunity."

"Fine! But if he's a psycho brat, then he's **your** fucking problem, not mine! Are we clear!?" Dani warned.

"Crystal! Now shut the fuck up, eh."

Bakara cleared her throat upon her return. "I trust everything went well."

"Yeah. Yeah. It went great," Eric said nervously, "Right, Dani?"

"Yeah, just great," Dani replied sarcastically.

"I see. Is there anything you would like to ask?" Bakara offered, taking note of the young woman's tone.

"Nope. We're good. Can't wait to pick him up on Friday and take him home." The blonde man nervously chuckled as he spoke. "I know Dani is really looking forward to it."

"Oh, yeah. I couldn't be more thrilled," Dani replied with a fake smile and slightly gritted teeth.

"Are you certain this is the child you wish to foster? We would absolutely understand if you changed your mind." Bakara asked, hoping that the young couple would back out of their decision.

"No. We're positive! He's perfect! We'll see you Friday then." Eric smiled as he shook Bakara's hand before hurriedly leading his wife from the building.

**~~~☆~~~**

The next two days passed quickly, far too quickly for Bakara's liking. In that time, Bakara had tried her very best to explain the situation to the lost little boy, and though it seemed that he had accepted and understood the situation, Bakara herself was struggling.

"Shepard, it's time to go!" Bakara called out to the tiny blonde, motioning him over.

As usual, the little blonde came running, quickly grabbing on to her. "We going to get a haircut?" The little boy asked, big blue eyes shining — god how Bakara would miss those big blue eyes.

"No, **you** are getting a haircut, little man. I'm just taking you." Bakara teased.

"That's what I meant, silly." Shepard giggled as Bakara put his coat on him.

"I have a surprise for you after you get your haircut," Bakara smiled as she spoke.

"Really!?" Shepard asked, excitement in his voice.

"Yes, really! Now we better get going. Rose is waiting outside."

**~~~☆~~~**

The ride to the salon was a short one, and before they knew it, Shepard was in the barber's chair getting a much-needed haircut. 

"How short should I cut it?" The stylist asked, scissors in hand.

"Hmm… Shepard, how short do you want your hair?" Bakara asked, wanting the little boy's opinion to be heard.

"Really short. I don't want it in my eyes. It bothers me when I skate." Shepard informed them, confidence evident in his tone.

"I agree!" Bakara grinned. "Cut it short."

"But not too short!" The tiny blonde added.

"Okay, I think I understand." The stylist said with a wink. "You have very good taste, little man."

"Thank you," Shepard replied, a sense of pride showing in his tiny features at the stylist's compliment. 

"May I have a lock of his hair?" Bakara asked as she touched the soft blonde hair once more before it was cut short.

"Of course! Moms do that all the time! It's very common." The stylist smiled as she cut the longest strand she could find. "I don't blame you for wanting to keep a lock. He really does have beautiful hair. It's like spun gold. Gorgeous!"

The stylist gently tied a white ribbon around the lock and handed it to Bakara. "Here you go, mommy, a lock of your son's hair to remind you of when he was little because god knows, he won't stay this little for long." 

Bakara took the lock of hair and gently placed it in her pocket. "Thank you. This means more than you could ever know."

"No problem!" The stylist assured her as she continued to cut the tiny boy's hair. "All done! Lookin' good, little man! Very handsome, indeed. Wanna see?"

The tiny blonde promptly nodded as the stylist gave him a mirror. "What's the verdict? Do you like it?" The stylist asked with a smile.

"I like it!" The little boy exclaimed, blue eyes shining bright.

"I agree! You look very handsome!" Bakara assured him, unable to hide her smile. "Thank you for the appointment. I know it was short notice," Bakara said as she shook the stylist's hand before paying her.

"Not a problem! I wish all my younger clients were as well-behaved as him. He's a real gentleman for sure." 

"He is one of a kind. That's for certain." Bakara smiled, pride in her eyes for the little boy by her side.

"Come back anytime! Goodbye, Shepard!" The stylist called out as they made their way to the exit.

"Goodbye. Thank you for cutting my hair." Shepard waved back before taking his housemother's hand.

"Anytime, little man!"

**~~~☆~~~**

"Look at you! How handsome you are!" Rose smiled brightly at the tiny blonde as Bakara placed him in the booster seat. "Ready to go home?"

"Not yet, Rose. We still have to take Shepard to get his surprise." Bakara reminded her friend.

"Oh… I completely forgot about that! Good thing you reminded me." Rose grinned as she started the vehicle. "Can you close your eyes for us, Shepard? We don't want to ruin the surprise, after all."

"Okay." The little boy shut his eyes tight.

The tiny blonde managed to keep his eyes shut the entire time - a full twenty minutes, quite a feat for a six-year-old.

"Can I open them now?" Shepard asked when he felt the car come to a full stop.

"Not yet, just a little longer." Bakara assured him as she took him in her arms and carried him to their final destination. 

"It's loud…" The little blonde stated as he clung ever tighter to Bakara.

"You're okay. I've got you," Bakara reassured the tiny boy. "Okay… You can open them now."

Shepard's bright blue eyes grew as wide as saucers. "The 'Nucks! They're playing! They're playing!"

"That's right, little man! And you get to watch the entire game," Bakara announced, unable to hide her joy at the little boy's reaction.

The blue-eyed baby hugged Bakara as tight as possible. "I love you! Thank you so much!"

"You're welcome, baby! I love you too!" Bakara kissed his tiny forehead just as Rose came back with a jersey that was about two sizes too large. 

"Oh, Rose! I told you to get the smallest size they had." Bakara scolded her dear friend with a smile.

"That **is** the smallest size," Rose assured her.

"It's okay. I love it anyway!" The little blonde exclaimed as he quickly put the jersey over his tiny head. "Number 33! It's Hank's number!"

"Yep, he's your favourite player, isn't he?" Rose asked, hoping she had gotten the correct number. "I wasn't sure which Sedin you liked. I hope I got the right one."

"I like them both, but you did good!" Shepard assured Rose with a smile. "Thank you, Rose!" 

"No, don't thank me, little man," Rose explained, "This was all Bakara. She paid for it. I just picked it up for her."

"Shush, Rose! You helped plenty."

"That's okay. I love you too, Rose." The little boy said with a warm smile. 

"Do you love me enough to give me a hug?" Rose asked, fully expecting the little boy to say no.

Instead, the little boy surprised her by reaching out and giving her a tight hug.

"Thank you so much, little man!" Rose couldn't contain her smile. "I guess we should take our seats."

"Yep!" The little boy agreed as they made their way to the stands.

**~~~☆~~~**

After the game, Shepard had promptly fallen asleep in Bakara's arms. Being careful not to wake him, she gently placed the tiny blonde in the booster seat before making her way to the passenger's seat.

"Poor little guy. He's completely worn out," Rose whispered as they began the drive home.

"Yes, but he enjoyed it, and that's what matters," Bakara whispered back.

"I'm sure gonna miss that little guy." 

"I don't think I can let him go." Bakara's voice trembled as she spoke, and Rose knew she was on the verge of crying.

"It'll be hard, but you know you have to do it," Rose reminded her. "Unless you decide not to be there tomorrow. None of the staff would blame you, you know. Maybe you should take the day off."

"You know I can't! I would never forgive myself." Bakara cried, the tears falling freely from her hazel eyes. "I just don't know what I'll do without him." 

"You'll help another needy child, just as you always have," Rose replied, trying to reassure her friend, but failing miserably. "Don't get me wrong, this one is going to hurt more than any of the others, but you **will** carry on. You always have. Just give it time, Bakara-girl."

"Not this time, Rose. I think this will be the one that breaks me." Bakara whispered, uncertainty in her voice. "Unless my mind changes, I think I'm done."

" _Sigh—_ Don't rush things, Bakara-girl," Rose advised, "If you do, you might regret it later. Besides, Shepard wouldn't want you to give up."

"Rose, he's six. He doesn't understand. He's not old enough to. Nice try, though." Bakara said as she glanced at her friend in amusement.

"Well, can't blame me for trying," Rose replied, causing both women to break out laughing. "Feeling any better, Bakara-girl?"

"Maybe a little, and that's enough for now."

Once they arrived home, Bakara took little Shepard from the car and gently placed him in his bed. Knowing it would be for the last time, she gently kissed his tiny forehead, dreading what tomorrow would bring.

**~~~☆~~~**

The Stevensons arrived an hour early, much to Rose’s dismay. 

Rose caught them at the door, trying to give Bakara as much time with little Shepard as she possibly could. She owed her friend that much. 

"Welcome. You're early! Please, have a seat. It'll be awhile. Shepard isn't quite ready yet."

"Johnny." The young woman corrected, her caramel coloured eyes darkening in annoyance.

"Pardon?" Rose replied, forgetting briefly that Shepard's first name was John.

Sighing heavily, the young woman spoke harshly, "Johnny. His name is Johnny, not Shepard. Shepard's a stupid name, nickname or not."

"Ah, yes. Forgive me." Rose replied, feeling a growing sense of dislike for the young woman standing before her. "You do realize that he prefers to be called 'Shepard'?"

"He's six. He'll get over it. Now can you please hurry and get our son ready, so we can leave. We have things to do, you know." 

"Forgive my wife. She's not feeling well," the young man apologized as he grasped her hand tightly.

"I think I'll go check on his status. If you would excuse me..." Rose smiled a fake smile as she made her way out of the room.

"What the hell was that!?" The young man was livid. "Are you **trying** to fuck this up? Don't you want a kid? I mean, that's all you bitch about. So, what's the goddamn problem?"

"The problem is that this kid fucking **hates** us!" The young woman exclaimed. "Don't act like you couldn't tell. And to top it off, he's small — like, way too small! Do you know how embarrassing it's going to be if he doesn't grow? People will think we're not taking care of him properly. I can just hear them now." 

"Now you're just making shit up!" Eric scolded. "Besides, it's not like we're adopting him. If he's not what we want, we can just send him back. So, calm the fuck down and give him a chance, eh."

"Fine!" Dani agreed in a huff. 

Rose re-entered the room and was soon followed by a sullen Bakara holding the tiny blonde tightly in her arms. 

"There's my little dude! Are you ready to see your new home?" The young man was absolutely beaming, unable to hide his excitement as his wife looked on beside him.

The tiny blonde nodded numbly at the young man, never letting go of his housemother's neck. Just as Bakara was about to remove his tiny arms from around her neck, the little boy kissed her softly on the cheek and whispered softly, "Please don't forget me. I'll never, ever forget you. I promise." 

And just like that, Bakara's heart was broken.

"I won't forget you, baby! I promise. I love you so much! Don't ever forget that. You hear me, baby…" Bakara assured the little boy, all while trying her best not to break down. "Please take care of him. Promise me that you'll take care of him," Bakara pleaded as she carefully put the tiny little boy down, reluctantly letting her hands fall from his tiny shoulders. 

"Don't worry. We got this. He'll be fine!" The young man's tone lacked any sense of seriousness or sincerity, and it made Bakara sick to her stomach.

"Time to go, shorty," the young woman said as she took Shepard by the hand, and began to walk towards the exit.

"I love you, baby!" Bakara called out, one last time, from across the room.

Smiling, Shepard turned, his big blue eyes looking directly into her warm hazel ones, "It's okay, Mommy, I love you too." 

That was all it took for Bakara to break. Taking the lock of soft blonde hair from her pocket and kissing it gently, Bakara fell to her knees, causing Rose to rush to her side.

"He called me 'Mommy,' " Bakara cried, "My baby's gone, Rose. They took my baby!"

"Shh… I know, Bakara-girl, I know," with tears in her eyes, Rose tried her best to comfort her friend, "It's alright. It's going to be alright…"

And together, they cried for the tiny little blonde with big blue eyes, that would forever have their hearts.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	3. First Crush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard settles into life with his hockey obsessed new father, and his image conscious new mother.

**Five months later —**

"Goddammit, Johnny! You've got to be more aggressive!" The blonde man screamed as he smacked the tiny six-year-old hard on the back of the head.

"How am I supposed to do that with nobody else on the ice!? You don't make no fuckin' sense!" Shepard yelled, his blue eyes blazing in anger.

"Don't you use that tone with me!" Eric growled, grabbing the tiny blonde roughly by the jersey before shoving the little boy onto the hard ice below. " **I'm** the boss here, and you **will** respect me! Is that clear!?"

The tiny boy slowly made his way back to his feet as he spoke, "I can't skate no harder! I'm making all my shots, so I don't know what else to do! What do you want me to do?"

"Don't you ever fucking listen!?" The man scolded, "I want you to be more aggressive on the ice. Skate harder, skate faster! Show me some intensity! You need to go harder. If you can't do that without help, I'll arrange for a partner to come skate with you. But you better start making an effort. Do you hear me?"

_'This guy is a motherfucking asshole! What the hell does he expect from you?'_

"I don't know what to do…" Little Shepard furrowed his brow, a look of anxiety and sadness evident on his tiny face.

"I told you what to do — if you'd just listen!" Eric exclaimed.

"I wasn't talking to you," Shepard whispered, just loud enough for his foster father to hear.

The tiny blonde was shocked when he felt a sudden sharp sting across his tiny cheek. His foster father slapped him hard, causing his big blue eyes to water from the impact.

" **Stop that**!" Eric warned. "How many times have we told you? Stop it with the goddamn imaginary bullshit! Get your shit together and finish your goddamn drills."

The little blonde gave his foster father a disgusted glance before quickly returning to his place on the ice.

_'I'm not imaginary, you dick! I really hate this goddamn guy!'_

"Shut up before I get in trouble again," Shepard whispered, his tiny hands gripping the hockey stick tightly in frustration.

_'You know I can hear your thoughts, right? You don't need to talk out loud, idiot!'_ The voice reminded the tiny hockey player.

'I forgot.' The little boy thought to himself as he continued to run his line. 

_'Obviously…'_

The tiny blonde growled in frustration as he tried to concentrate on finishing his latest hockey drill. Finding a groove, the tiny hockey player continued on until he heard the sound of his foster father's voice.

"Time's up, Johnny!" The blonde man yelled, motioning for Shepard to get off the ice.

"Thank god," little Shepard whispered as he made his way off the ice.

**~~~☆~~~**

"How was practice, shorty?" Dani asked as she roughly tousled the little blonde's hair.

Shepard just shrugged, trying his best to avoid her gaze.

"Johnny, answer your mother," Eric demanded. "You have words, use them."

"It was okay," the little boy replied in a quiet voice.

"That's good," the young woman replied before turning her attention towards her husband, "Eric, honey, I signed him up for those classes you mentioned. He starts this Saturday."

"That's great!" Eric exclaimed. "He needs to learn as much as possible. He'll be entering the Novice class soon, and I want him to blow them all away!"

"I thought you said he was already better than those kids," Dani reminded her overzealous husband.

"He **is** , but why stop there? He can be even greater with just a little shove in the right direction." Eric explained.

"If you say so," The young woman shrugged. "Can I take him out with me tomorrow? I want to show all of my friends how much more handsome our kid is than theirs. They'll be so jealous!"

"What is it with you and your friends?" Eric chuckled, "You guys are obsessed with whose kid is the cutest. Is it a status thing or something?"

"In a way, I guess," Dani explained, "When we were kids, we always talked about how we were going to marry our dream guy and have the most beautiful children ever. So, now I want them all to see that I have, not only, married the man of my dreams, but that I now possess the most beautiful little boy they have ever seen. Therefore, I win and get to rub it in their stuck up little faces!"

The young blonde smiled, clearly amused by his young wife. "You can have him until four, then he's mine, eh. We have a lot of work to do on the ice, so make sure you get him there, at least, by three forty-five. Think you can do that, babe?"

"Of course I can," the young brunette insisted. "You'll have him on the ice by four, I promise." Dani kissed her husband on the cheek before taking little Shepard by the hand, "Come on, Johnny. Time for your bath."

**~~~☆~~~**

"Okay, shorty," Dani teased, "The water's ready. Time to get in the tub."

"I can do it," the little blue-eyed boy insisted.

"We've been through this, Johnny. You're too little. I need to make sure you get clean. I have to shampoo your hair and everything. So, hurry up and get in."

Shepard debated whether or not he should actually get in the water. After a long pause, the little boy slowly removed his shirt, only to hear a gasp from his foster mother.

"Johnny, what the hell happened to you!?" The young woman asked, a look of panic on her young face as she saw the bruises littering the boy's tiny chest and back.

_'She needs to know. Maybe she can make it stop. We should tell her, eh?'_ The voice said in a tone that was more demanding than suggestive.

"I fell," the little boy whispered, his blue eyes shifting to his tiny feet to avoid his foster mother's gaze.

"You fell… on the ice," Dani asked, clearly not believing the little boy's explanation. "Don't lie to me, Johnny! Did Daddy hit you?"

The tiny blonde furrowed his brow, unsure of how he should respond.

_'Tell her the truth!'_ The voice demanded and, this time, Shepard listened.

"He pushed me really hard, and I hit the ice." 

"How often does this happen?" His foster mother asked.

"It happens all the time," Shepard answered, his voice barely a whisper.

"Wait here, Johnny," Dani demanded as she stormed out of the bathroom to confront her young husband.

"Have you lost your goddamn mind!?" Dani yelled, causing her husband to choke a little on his beer.

"What'd I do this time?" Eric asked, wiping the excess beer from his mouth.

"You can't fucking hit a six-year-old! You'll go to jail, asshole!"

"What the fuck are you on about?" The young man asked, unsure as to why his wife was so angry with him. "I never 'hit' him! I just pushed him a little, you know, to toughen him up!"

"He has bruises all over his fucking chest? If someone sees that we're both screwed, you dumb fuck!" Dani replied angrily.

"Nobody will see! Trust me, babe. I'm just toughening him up. That's all. Hockey is a rough and brutal sport. I'm just making sure the little guy's tough enough to keep up with the big boys," Eric explained, unable to see any wrongdoing on his behalf.

"What about my friends? What if they see the bruises tomorrow?" Dani inquired, obviously scared of the potential consequences. "What the hell am I supposed to tell them? What the hell should I say, Eric!?"

"Put a long sleeve shirt on him, and no one will ever know," Eric assured his wife.

"You better be right, Eric, or I swear to god…" 

"Relax, babe! We got this!" The young man insisted.

"Whatever! I have to go give Johnny his bath." Dani replied, obviously still quite peeved at her husband.

"It'll be fine, babe," Eric insisted, "You'll see…"

**~~~☆~~~**

"Johnny, come here this instant!" The young brunette shouted to the little blonde as she gathered the things she would need from the boy's closet. "Now, Johnny! We have to be there by noon!"

"Do I have to go?" Little Shepard asked, big blue eyes pleading for a way out. "I don't know nobody. It'll be weird."

"Don't try that cute little puppy-dog look on me," Dani chuckled as she teased, "I'm immune, shorty."

Shepard pouted his best pout as he accepted his fate and allowed his foster mother to help dress him in the outfit of her choosing. She clothed him in the most annoying outfit the little blonde had ever seen — an annoying navy-blue suit with an ungodly amount of buttons and clasps. The buttons were especially annoying for the tiny six-year-old, each one causing him more trouble than the one before. After struggling for several minutes, the tiny boy finally gave up in frustration.

"Dammit, it won't button!" The little blonde cursed.

"Johnny, I swear to god, if you embarrass me with your potty mouth, I will kick your little ass!" Dani warned. "If you even think of cursing, just shut your mouth, and say nothing. Am I understood?"

Shepard nodded his head slowly. "Yeah— Do I really have to wear the tie? I can't breathe with it on."

"Don't be so goddamn melodramatic. It won't kill you to wear it for a few hours," the young brunette replied as she finished tying the silk navy-blue tie. "There, all done. Now all I have to do is comb your hair and put on your shoes — then we will be good to go."

**~~~☆~~~**

"Dani, darling, so glad you could come! This must be little Johnny! Oh, he is a handsome one, isn't he?" A lively young woman, with long blonde hair and dark-brown eyes, greeted the two of them — kissing Dani on each cheek, as they made their way inside the spacious home.

"Melissa, you look stunning, as usual," Dani replied, returning the greeting. "Yes, this is Johnny. Isn't he the sweetest thing you've ever seen?"

"He certainly is adorable. Please come in and make yourselves at home. The other girls are already here." Melissa explained as she motioned towards the very large sitting room.

Little Shepard was utterly lost. Here he was, surrounded by a bunch of women that he didn't know and, quite frankly, didn't want to know, and to top it all off, they were all trying to pet him as if he were some kind of dog.

"Dani, he has such gorgeous hair and those big blue eyes—" A petite lady, named Stella, with red hair and green eyes, remarked as she reached out to stroke Shepard's soft blonde hair.

Shepard immediately flinched and took a few steps back, trying his best to avoid the unwanted touch.

"He's a bit skittish, isn't he, Dani," the woman said with a laugh. "My William was like that when he was younger. Thankfully, he grew out of it." 

"Oh, it's not that he's skittish," Dani lied, "It's just that he's very particular about his hair. I think I have a tiny supermodel on my hands." The ladies broke into laughter, all agreeing that little Johnny was indeed a handsome child. 

Shepard furrowed his brow and gave his foster mother an annoyed glare. "I'm a hockey player, not a model," the little blonde corrected.

"Oh, he plays hockey?" Melissa inquired.

"Yes. Yes, he does, actually. He's very good at it. His father calls him his 'little hockey prodigy,' " Dani informed them.

"Oh, Dani, are you sure you should allow him to play? He's awfully small, isn't he?" Stella voiced her concern for the tiny little blonde.

"I'm small, but I play good. I ain't too little!" Shepard argued, his bright blue eyes darkening in anger. "Mind your own goddamn business, lady!"

The ladies all gasped in shock at the little blonde's colourful outburst.

" **Johnny**! Behave yourself! What's gotten into you," Dani scolded, clearly embarrassed by her foster son's sudden outburst. "He's normally not like this. Apologize, Johnny."

"No." The defiant little boy steeled his big blue eyes, letting his foster mother know that he would not relent.

The red-haired lady laughed, "Well, Dani, it looks like your little model is acting like, a bit of a diva."

"I ain't no goddamn model! I'm a hockey player, and I hate this fuckin' tie!" The little blonde raged as he loosed the tie from his neck.

The ladies were speechless, not knowing what to make of the tiny boy.

" **Johnny**! That's enough! You apologize right now," his foster mother demanded.

"My name's Shepard, and I said, 'no'!" The tiny blonde screamed as he made his way to the door.

"His name's 'Shepard'…" Stella repeated, confused about the whole situation. "What an odd name. I thought his name was Johnny."

"Where do you think you're going, young man," Melissa scolded, shocked and appalled by the young boy's behaviour.

"I'm leaving! I hate it here!" Shepard complained, tears in his big blue eyes, "I want my mommy!"

"Child, your 'mommy' is right here," Melissa stated, pointing at the young woman sitting beside her.

"She's not my mommy!" The little blonde raged, knocking over a vase, shattering it as he screamed.

"Dani, darling, I think you need to get your son some help," Melissa suggested, "Perhaps a psychiatrist or a therapist?"

"My child is **not** crazy, Melissa! This is the first time he's ever done anything like this," Dani lied, trying to explain away her little Johnny's bad behaviour, "He's just lashing out because he wanted to play hockey today, and I brought him here instead."

"Perhaps he needs a nap," the redhead suggested.

"Yes, I'll bet that's what it is," Melissa agreed as she rose to her feet. "Dani, darling, allow me to walk you out."

Taking the not-so-subtle hint, Dani rose to her feet, apologizing to the room before making her way towards the door, and her unruly child. 

"Dani, darling, maybe leave the child at home next time," Melissa suggested as she kissed Dani on each cheek. 

"O-of course, darling," Dani stuttered in embarrassment. "I sincerely apologize for his behaviour. I will replace the vase, of course. I truly have no idea what's gotten into him."

"It's fine, dear. No need to worry about the vase," Melissa assured the young brunette. "What you are doing is very noble. It's just that some children aren't suited for our particular lifestyle. There's no need to blame yourself, Dani, dear."

"Thank you for understanding," Dani replied. "He has been a handful, as I'm sure you have noticed."

"We understand, Dani, really we do," Melissa smiled, placing a reassuring hand on her friend's shoulder. "Have a safe drive. We hope to see you again soon."

"We will," Dani waved as she walked towards the car, dragging the tiny blonde behind her. "I'll see you soon. Goodbye, Melissa."

Once she was out of her friend's sight, she grabbed the little blonde tight by the shoulders and began to shake him violently. "What the hell is wrong with you!? What were you thinking? Have you lost your goddamn mind?" Dani screamed. "I'm a laughingstock now, all because you couldn't keep your stupid, little mouth shut! And what was that crap about wanting your 'mommy'? When are you going to get it through your head that **I'm** your 'mommy'! Me and no one else! Hell, I'm the only one willing to keep your crazy ass. Your **'** **real'** mommy threw you away when you were born. You're lucky to have me, you ungrateful little bastard! No one will ever love you, that's for damn sure! So, you might as well accept it!"

"That's not true! My mommy, Bakara, loves me," the tiny little blonde screamed, blue eyes filled with tears.

"You are so fucking stupid! That glorified nanny you had was just doing her job; she wasn't your mommy. She never loved you! She tells all the kids that. You aren't special! It was just her fucking job!" The young brunette's words were cruel, and they cut little Shepard to the bone.

"That's not true…" The little boy cried as the tears fell freely from his sad blue eyes.

"Sorry, kid, but that's just the way it is," Dani said as she roughly placed him in the booster seat.

'Is she telling the truth?' Little Shepard asked silently.

_'How the hell should I know!? Look, kid, all I can tell you is that if you love Bakara that much, then believe in_ ** _her_** _,_ _believe_ ** _her_ ** _words. True or not, nobody can take them away from you. This lady is a bitch for trying.'_

"I believe my mommy," little Shepard whispered to himself as he dried the tears from his sad blue eyes.

_'That's all that matters, eh,'_ the voice assured.

"I really hate this place." 

_'Me too, kid. Me too…'_

**~~~☆~~~**

**Later that day —**

"You would not believe the day I've had!" Dani complained as she greeted her husband with a quick kiss. "This little bastard is a monster! He embarrassed me so much, Eric. You wouldn't believe the tantrum he took — right in front of everyone! I was mortified!"

"Uh oh, what'd you do, little dude?" Eric asked, grinning at the little boy before him.

"Don't encourage him," Dani scolded as she gently slapped her husband's arm. 

"I'm not encouraging him," Eric chuckled. "He was probably angry about having to wear that god awful suit."

"You're awful! It's a nice suit!" Dani chuckled. "Seriously, the kid's a psycho. Remember our deal? He's your problem now. I am officially done!"

"You know you still have to feed him, eh," the young blonde joked as he took Shepard by the hand.

"Yeah, yeah, I won't let him starve," Dani rolled her eyes as she kissed her husband goodbye. "Don't be out too late. I'll try to have something to eat for you when you get home. If it's cold, don't blame me."

"Yeah, yeah. Love you, babe. Drive safe," Eric replied, warmly, as he watched his wife exit the building. "You ready for some hockey, little dude?"

Shepard nodded, hoping that being on the ice would make him feel better.

"Let's get you out of that obnoxious suit and all geared up. I've got a surprise for you," his foster father grinned as he led the little boy to where the gear lay.

**~~~☆~~~**

_'This is his big surprise? Really? This?'_ The voice seemed slightly annoyed as it spoke. _'I am convinced that this fucker wants us dead…'_

'I'm scared…' The tiny blonde replied silently.

"So, how do you like your gift?" Eric asked with a grin.

"He's a lot bigger than me," the little blue-eyed blonde said with apprehension in his young voice.

"Duh! The bigger, the better," his foster father replied. "Wade is just a few years older than you, and he's been gracious enough to come and help me train you."

Wade was an eight-year-old, Novice class hockey player that was two and a half times larger than the tiny blonde he was hired to train. With long brown hair and light-blue eyes — and despite little Shepard's fear of the boy — the little blonde couldn't help but find the older boy pretty in some way.

'He's pretty…' Shepard thought to himself.

_'Huh? Seriously?'_ The voice paused to consider Shepard's words. _'Yeah, he kinda is, isn't he? I just hope he doesn't kill us.'_

"So, you want me to charge this little guy?" Wade questioned, a hint of disbelief in his voice. "Why? That stuff isn't allowed until he's much older."

"He has to be tough. He's too damn small to be a pussy when it comes to getting hit," Eric explained, "I'm just trying to keep him from getting destroyed out there."

"I don't get it, but I guess I'll do it," the long-haired boy agreed, shrugging his shoulders.

"If he hits me, I'll die," the tiny little blonde spoke aloud without realizing.

Wade broke out in a fit of laughter. "I won't hit you that hard! I'm not a monster, little guy."

"You don't have to hold back. My little dude is tough," Eric bragged, his words making Shepard feel a bit nauseous at the thought of getting hit with the full force of the older boy.

"I think we should work up to that. He's awfully small." Wade suggested, cocking his head to the side while smiling at the tiny little blonde.

Little Shepard immediately blushed under Wade's gaze, embarrassed to be under the scrutiny of the older boy.

"Well, what are we waiting for! Let's get to it!" Eric suggested, eager to start the training.

**~~~☆~~~**

"Oof…" The tiny blonde hit the ice hard, knocking the breath from his lungs.

"Get up, Johnny! You can do better than that!" His foster father scolded him as the older boy offered his hand to the little blonde.

"Sorry, little guy. Did I hit you too hard?" Wade asked as he gently rubbed the smaller boy's back.

"I'm okay," Shepard insisted, brushing the older boy's hand from his back. "Again," Shepard demanded.

"Seriously, little guy," Wade chuckled, shaking his head at the tiny blonde. "You're a glutton for punishment."

"That's my boy!" Eric beamed. "You heard him, once more!"

"Are you sure? I mean, he's already gonna be sore as all hell," the older boy said, obviously worried about the younger boy.

"I can take it! Besides, this time you won't touch me," the mini hockey player announced with confidence. "You're too slow, and you'll never catch me. I'll be at the net long before you ever touch me."

Wade grinned at the little boy, his blue eyes shining in amusement. "I'm the fastest skater on my team. I'm not slow, little man. There's no way you can out skate me. Your legs are too short. Never mind the fact that you won't even get control of the puck."

"Watch me," the little blonde dared.

"You heard the kid, let's do this!" Eric exclaimed, eager to see the outcome.

Within a few, tension-filled minutes, Eric, finally, dropped the puck. In the blink of an eye, the tiny blonde quickly gained control of the puck, weaving his way past the older boy and down the ice to the empty net. Before Wade knew it, the signal sounded as the tiny little blonde sent the puck flying through the empty net.

"I told you. You're too slow," the little boy explained, "You turn your foot wrong. It slows you down and gives away your line when you start. Anyone that sees it can get a jump on you."

Wade, blinking in disbelief, finally found his words. "I just got schooled by a freakin' six-year-old. I will never live this down."

Little Shepard furrowed his brow, looking very apologetic as he spoke, "I won't tell nobody."

Wade's eyes grew wide before breaking into a smile. "Thanks for that, little man."

Again the tiny six-year-old found himself blushing at the older boy.

"That was fucking **perfect**! I knew I hit the fucking jackpot with this kid!" Eric was ecstatic as he scooped up the tiny hockey player and spun him 'round and 'round.

"Put me down! Put me down!" The little boy protested loudly.

"Anything you want, little dude," his foster father promised as he put the tiny blonde down.

"I hate being so fuckin' little!" Shepard complained loudly, causing both Wade and the tiny blonde's foster father to break out laughing.

"So, do you need me anymore, or was once enough," the long-haired boy asked, his blue eyes shining.

"He still needs to learn to take a hit," Eric replied, placing his hand on Shepard's tiny helmet-clad head. 

"I don't know. I think he's plenty tough for his age," Wade offered, "but if you insist, I'll do it."

"Great! Be here tomorrow at the same time," Eric replied.

**~~~☆~~~**

**The next day —**

"Hit him harder! He has to learn," the young man ordered as he screamed from the sidelines.

"Seriously, I think he's had enough for today," the long-haired boy suggested, as he helped the tiny blonde to his feet.

"Stop helping him up! He has to learn to stand on his own," Eric demanded.

Wade shook his head in disgust but did as he was told.

The next hit was even harder, causing the tiny blonde to be thrown into the boards — the odd angle of the hit, causing blood to trickle from the little boy's mouth and nose.

"Oh, shit! I'm so sorry, little dude!" The older boy was attempting to help the tiny blonde when Eric's voice rang out— 

"Back away from him. Let him take care of himself," Eric warned.

Reluctantly, the older boy backed away from the little blonde, wincing as he saw the tiny boy stagger and fall to his knees.

"He really needs help. I hit him pretty hard, eh," Wade pleaded with the older man as he skated closer to the hurt little boy.

"He's fine! Stay away," Eric demanded. "Johnny, get up! Stop being a little pussy and get the fuck up."

_'What a fucking asshole! Are you alright there, Shepard? I feel kinda funny, so I can just imagine how you must feel.'_

"I feel sick… I don't feel right," the tiny blonde whispered aloud, just loud enough for Wade to hear, causing the older boy to rush to the tiny boy's side.

"I got you. It's okay," Wade whispered as he helped the tiny blonde to his feet.

"I told you to leave him be!" Eric scolded.

"Are you crazy? He's hurt! Can't you see that?" Wade questioned the man, growing even more disgusted with him by the second.

"Fine, bring him over here," the young man sighed as he motioned them over.

"See, he's bleeding," Wade explained, pointing out the little boy's injuries. "He might have a concussion. We should probably take him to the doctor, eh."

"Yeah, that ain't happening! He'll be fine. He's just woozy from the hit," Eric assured the long-haired boy.

Sure enough, minute-by-minute, bit-by-bit, the tiny blonde began to feel some better. "I'm okay… I just got a little dizzy."

"That's kinda how a concussion is," Wade explained.

"Would you stop with the concussion bullshit! He's fine. Hey, Johnny, you’re not hurt, are you, little dude?" His foster father asked as he gently rubbed the tiny blonde's back.

"I think I cut my lip," the tiny blonde replied.

"You have a nosebleed too," Wade informed him.

"Really? My nose don't hurt."

"It probably doesn't hurt because you're a tough little dude." Wade grinned, causing the little boy to blush.

"He's fine. Just like I've been saying," Eric reassured the long-haired boy.

"Look, I really had fun skating with Johnny, but I think I'm done," Wade informed the young blonde man. "I don't like the way you push him. You're gonna end up getting him hurt really bad, and I don't wanna have any part in it."

"You're overreacting. I'm doing this for his own good," Eric insisted.

"Maybe, but either way, I'm out," Wade reaffirmed his decision.

"So, you're puss-ing out on me," Eric asked, upset with the boy's choice.

"Yeah, I guess I am," Wade shrugged as he placed his hand on Shepard's tiny head, "I guess I'll see you around, little guy."

"Yeah," little Shepard nodded sadly, unable to look the older boy in the eyes. "I'm sorry I got hurt."

"No, little man, I'm the one who's sorry," the long-haired boy apologized, his blue eyes filled with regret. "I should have been more careful. I'm sorry. Forgive me, eh."

"It's okay," the little blonde whispered, causing the older boy to smile.

"Good luck with everything, Mr. Stevenson. Good luck, Johnny," Wade smiled at the little blonde as he gathered his gear.

"We don't need him anyway," Eric said, putting his hand firmly on the tiny boy's shoulder. "You and me, we got this!"

Shepard nodded, numbly, as he looked out across the empty rink.

**~~~☆~~~**

"How are you feeling, little dude?" Eric asked as he continued driving towards their home. 

"I'm fine," the tiny blonde answered, trying his best not to fall asleep from exhaustion.

"That's good. You took a hard hit, I'm proud of you," the young man grinned as he gave his tiny foster son an approving wink. "So, Saturday, you'll be starting your lessons. They're expensive as hell, so be sure to pay attention. Daddy has to work. I won't be there, so, no fooling around, Johnny. You understand?"

"Yeah," little Shepard rolled his big blue eyes at his foster father, "I understand."

"Don't be afraid to be aggressive. If a kid gets in your way, do whatever you have to in order to get the upper hand," Eric instructed.

"Are the people there like you?" The tiny blonde asked, furrowing his brow in dread.

"Oh, yeah, little dude. You don't have to worry about that," Eric assured, mistaking little Shepard's dread for affection. "It'll be like Daddy's right there with you. No need to be afraid or shy."

'Great, they're all gonna hurt me some more,' little Shepard thought, suddenly feeling very sick to his stomach.

_'This man's such an asshole! He's so full of himself. As if one of him wasn't enough, now we have to deal with a whole crew of people just like him,'_ the voice growled, _'I think I'm going to be sick!'_

'Me too… It's a waste of time anyway. I'll never be good enough for him. Maybe if I avoid everybody, they'll leave me alone,' the tiny blonde thought to himself.

_'That might work, but don't be surprised if it doesn't.'_

"Well, we're home, little guy. Once you eat and stuff, try to get a good night's sleep. I want you to impress your instructors tomorrow," the young blonde man commanded as he removed Shepard from his booster seat. "You go on in, little dude. I'll be in just as soon as I get the gear out of the back."

The little boy nodded his head as he turned and made his way into the house. "Tomorrow is gonna suck donkey balls," the tiny blonde whispered to himself.

_'On that, we can agree.'_   
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the next chapter, Shepard meets a certain green-eyed boy that will change his life forever.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	4. He Has Pretty Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little Shepard meets someone that will forever change his life, and he just happens to have the prettiest eyes Shepard has ever seen.

"We're here, shorty," Dani announced as she quickly freed the tiny blonde from the booster seat. "Your dad will be here to pick you up when he gets off work."

Little Shepard nodded in understanding as he made his way to the entrance of the rink.

"Wait, you forgot your gear," the young woman complained as she lifted the bag for the tiny boy to see.

"I can't carry that, it's too big," the little blue-eyed blonde said, cocking his tiny head to the side.

"Seriously, Johnny! When the fuck are you gonna start growing? It's annoying," Dani stated as she, too, made her way to the entrance.

"Hello. Welcome. Are you one of our mothers?" An older lady with reddish-blonde hair and light-brown eyes asked with a smile.

"Huh? Yeah, I guess so. My kid's here for lessons if that's what you mean," the young woman replied, feeling lost and out of her element.

"You need to sign him in here, so we can give him a name-tag," The lady explained, "It makes it easier for the instructors and helps us keep track of them."

"Okay…" Dani sighed, "What do I need to do?"

"Just sign his name and your name next to his, under the parent column, then just fill in your number, and you'll be all set."

"Do I have to do this crap every time!?" Dani snapped, causing the older woman to become quite uncomfortable.

"N-no, once is enough. You might want to add your husband to the list — in case something comes up, and you can't be reached," the lady suggested, sensing the younger woman's lack of interest in the program.

"Yeah, I'll do that," Dani nodded as she finished filling out the form. "There you go. All done."

"Shepard?" The older woman was confused with the name. "Isn't his last name Stevenson?"

"God, no! He's my husband's foster kid," Dani explained, "We haven't adopted him or anything."

"Oh, I see. My apologies," the woman replied as her face turned bright red in embarrassment. "Anyway, everything seems to be in order. I see that he still needs to put on his gear. You can go straight down the corridor. The locker room is on the left, two doors down."

Sighing heavily, Dani spoke, "Can't someone here help him? I have an appointment, and I really don't want to be late."

"I'm sorry, but no," the lady explained, "Most parents find it easier to dress them for the ice beforehand. Perhaps you could try that next time."

Dani rolled her caramel coloured eyes. "That doesn't really help me now, does it?"

"It shouldn't take long — five minutes at the most," the older lady smiled as she handed her little Shepard's name-tag. "Just stick this on his jersey, and he'll be all set."

"Fine," the young woman huffed as she dragged the tiny blonde down the narrow corridor, into the dimly lit locker room.

**~~~☆~~~**

"There, you're dressed. I've got to go. I'm already late," Dani complained as she slapped the name-tag on the little boy's jersey. "Try not to embarrass us."

Little Shepard gave her a steely look — his distaste for her obvious on his tiny face.

"Your dad will pick you up when he gets off work. Later, shorty," Dani teased as she exited the locker room, making her way out of the building.

Little Shepard slowly made his way to the rink. Once there, he was surrounded by other children, most were his age, but a few were a bit older. 

_ 'What sort of fresh hell is this?'  _ The voice asked, fully aware of Shepard's uneasiness around other children.

'I hate this. They're all gonna make fun of me 'cause I'm little,' little Shepard thought to himself as he sat alone on a nearby bench.

"Alright children, listen up," the older lady announced loudly, trying to get the attention of her young audience, "My name is Mrs. Davis, but you may call me Mari. Today you will be placed into two groups, and each group will be assigned an instructor and a mentor. Once in a group, your instructor will assist you with any questions or issues you may have. The mentors will be assisting the instructors with the main lessons, but will also be there to help each of you with other aspects of the game. Now, unless there are any questions, we will begin."

After fifteen minutes or so of being herded into two separate groups, Shepard found himself in group number two with six other boys — all of which were larger than the tiny blonde.

"Group two, this is your instructor, Coach Miller, and your mentor, Aaron," Mari announced as she motioned for the children to line up before her. "I'll leave it to you, Coach. They're all yours."

"Let's begin by evaluating your skating ability," Coach Miller said with a smile. "How about we test your speed? We'll have you guys line up, and when I say go, you skate to the net and back. Understood?" 

The kids all nodded, Shepard included, before taking their places in line.

"Whoa, little guy," the coach called out, focusing his attention on the tiny blonde, "How old are you?"

The other boys in the group snickered at Coach Miller's words.

"Six," the little boy answered quietly, never quite looking the man in the eyes.

"Six? Are you sure?" The man asked with a chuckle. 

The group broke out into laughter, as one boy yelled, "He looks like my four-year-old sister."

_ 'I knew it! It never fails! It happens every goddamn time!'  _ The voice growled.

"I know I'm little, but I can skate," the tiny blonde said with confidence, glaring at the coach with steely blue eyes, "I  **know** how to play hockey!"

Aaron, the mentor of group two, let out a warm laugh. "I guess that told you — seems the little man came ready to skate," Aaron said with a wink, his pale-green eyes glittering as he spoke.

Aaron Hayes was a ten-year-old Atom class hockey player with short, dark-black hair and beautiful light-green eyes. Little Shepard had never seen prettier eyes, and he wondered briefly if they were truly real or if they were a figment of his imagination.

"His eyes are really pretty," the tiny blonde whispered to himself.

_ 'Are you blushing? Stop that! It's embarrassing!'  _ The voice chided the mini hockey player, causing the tiny blonde to shake his head vigorously.

"Are you okay, little man?" Aaron asked, reaching out to touch the tiny shoulder.

Seeing the green-eyed boy's intent, the little boy quickly skated back and away, avoiding the unwanted touch.

'Huh? That's odd…' Aaron thought as he continued to watch the tiny boy.

"Alright, little guy," the coach teased, "If you think you can hang with the big boys, we'll let you give it a try. Take your places. Get ready — set — go!"

With that, the players were off like a jet, each one doing their best, but none could catch the tiny little blonde with the sad blue eyes.

Aaron let out a low whistle, "Look at him go! He's good — like, really, really good!"

"I did not expect that," the coach whispered, dumbfounded. "His legs don't seem long enough to carry him at that speed. Unbelievable."

"I wonder if he can shoot?" Aaron asked, truly captivated by the tiny blonde.

"If he can't, we'll teach him," the coach replied, "He obviously has talent."

"He's impressive for his size, that's for sure!" Aaron grinned as the little blonde finished the run, clearly the winner of the contest.

**~~~☆~~~**

The rest of the day was filled with more evaluations, each one easier than the last for the tiny blonde prodigy. By the end of the day, little Shepard had become the star pupil. 

"Aaron, why don't you work one-on-one with him, starting Monday," Coach Miller suggested, "I don't think he'll benefit much from the group, he's already surpassed them. No need to bore the kid with unnecessary drills."

"Sure, I can do that," Aaron agreed, smiling at the thought. "You have to admit, there was no way — in a million years, that you would have ever thought that a cute little kid like that would be this good."

Coach Miller laughed, "He is pretty adorable, with that oversized Canucks jersey, and that tiny little body. He looks like a doll."

Aaron laughed, "He really does!"

"It's a shame he won't talk to anyone," the coach said, shaking his head as he spoke, "He'll never be able to play on a team unless he learns to talk."

"That would be a shame," Aaron whispered.

**~~~☆~~~**

"Well, time to pack it in for the day," the coach announced, "Alright, kids, good job! We want to see you back here on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and, occasionally, on Saturdays. The schedule will be given to your parents at the door when you leave. See you guys on Monday!"

Aaron made his way off the ice and headed to the locker room. It was there he found the tiny blonde trying desperately to remove his skates without cutting himself.

"Dammit! Come off!" The little boy cursed as he tugged hard at the stubborn skate.

"Here, little man," Aaron smiled as he gently pulled the skates from the tiny blonde's feet. "You should put the guards on first, that way you don't risk getting cut. There you go! All done. Are your parents here to pick you up, yet?"

Shepard shook his head slowly as he watched the older boy safely pack up his skates.

"Do you want me to wait with you?" The older boy offered with a friendly smile.

The little boy shook his head.

"Are you sure?"

The little boy nodded.

"Alrighty then." Just as Aaron was getting ready to leave the room, a man appeared in front of him.

"There you are, little dude! We need to get you home," the blonde man chuckled as he promptly scooped up the tiny blonde and left before Aaron could even react to his presence.

"I guess that was his dad?" Aaron mused as he collected his things and made his way out of the building.

**~~~☆~~~**

"How was your first-day teaching, Son?" A man with hair as black as night and glittering dark-brown eyes greeted the young ten-year-old as he made his way to the car.

"I'm a mentor, Dad, not a teacher," Aaron chuckled, shaking his head in amusement at his overly proud father.

"Close enough," Andrew shrugged as he opened the trunk for his son.

"Uh-huh… Anyway, it went great. I had a really good time," Aaron replied, happy with the way his first class had gone.

"How many kids are in your group?" His father asked as they entered the car.

"Seven," the young green-eyed boy answered as he fastened his seat belt. "They're all talented, but there's this one kid… I don't quite know what to think of him, yeah."

"A troublemaker?" Andrew asked as he pulled out of the parking lot.

"No, nothing like that," Aaron corrected as he tried to find the words to describe the tiny blonde, "He's just so cute! He's the tiniest little thing I've ever seen. He's got blonde hair and these big blue eyes. He's six, but he looks like he's no older than four, maybe five."

"Wow! So, you had a hard time keeping the little guy safe, eh," the dark-haired man inquired as he continued to focus on the road ahead. 

"No, not at all! He's way too fast for the others to catch up to, so there's no fear of him getting hit. And as far as his skating goes, he's better than some of the guys my age. His hockey sense is amazing! He's a prodigy for sure, yeah," Aaron explained, unable to hide his amusement. 

"I see. This kid doesn't actually need lessons."

Aaron shrugged slightly, "Probably not, at least not lessons that are on this level. I think he could still benefit from one-on-one. That's why I'm so excited about Monday!"

Smiling brightly at his son, Andrew asked, "Why? What happens on Monday?"

"Coach Miller says that I can work one-on-one with the little guy from now on," the young boy explained as his green eyes sparkled in anticipation, "There isn't much he can learn from the group, since, you know, he pretty much knows it all anyway. So, Coach figured I could teach him one-on-one, you know, let him learn some of my tricks. It's a good idea, eh?"

"Sounds good to me. Did he take a liking to you as well?" Andrew asked, a small smile on his lips.

"Ah, well…" Aaron chuckled nervously, "He doesn't actually take to anyone. He kinda hasn't spoken much to anyone at all."

"Why not? Is something wrong with him? Does he have a learning disability, maybe?" Andrew questioned.

"Maybe. He seems so skittish. Like, he tries to avoid being touched. If the other kids even attempt to get near him, he skates away," Aaron mused, "Honestly, I don't know what to make of him."

"Hmm… Do you think that you can get him to open up to you?" Andrew asked with a sense of doubt in his voice.

"I'm not sure, but I'm sure gonna try my best," Aaron replied, a look of determination in his pale-green eyes.

"That's my boy," Andrew beamed with pride as he spoke. "So, what's the little one's name?"

Aaron's eyes grew wide when he realized that the tiny blonde was the only child whose name he had not learned.

"I don't know," Aaron laughed a little as he spoke, "There's Kyle, Kevin, James, Tyler, Mark, Brendan… And I have no idea what the little guy's name is. It's so weird because I made it a point to get to know all of their names, but for some reason, I never learned his."

"Perhaps he never bothered to tell you," his father suggested, "You'll find out soon enough, eh."

"You're right. I'll ask him Monday."

"Well, we're home," Andrew announced as they pulled into the drive.

**~~~☆~~~**

**The following Monday —**

"Okay, little man. You are going to be paired with Aaron from now on. He'll teach you some of the more advanced techniques. Will that be alright with you," Coach Miller asked with a grin.

The tiny blonde just shrugged and skated in the direction of his would-be mentor.

"Great," the young man approved, "Time to get started. Boys, come to me. It's time to start your lessons."

"And what’s your name, little man?" Aaron asked, hoping to gain the tiny blonde's trust.

Refusing to answer, the blue-eyed boy simply put his head down and skated off to the side, far from Aaron’s reach.

"Don’t be like that!" Aaron begged, reaching his gloved hand out to the tiny blonde. "I won’t hurt you. I promise. I just wanna be friends."

The boy stood stock-still, eyes sharp as he studied Aaron’s face.

_ 'Is this kid for real? Like we'd ever fall for that! Nobody's that nice. Don't trust him!'  _ The voice warned little Shepard.

'He doesn’t trust me.' Aaron sighed, "Okay, since you won’t tell me your name, I guess I’ll have to call you…" Aaron remembered the name-tag that was stuck to the tiny boy’s jersey — it read 'J. Shepard'. "'J'… I’ll just call you J. Is that all right?"

The little boy remained silent as he stood staring at the older boy with his steely blue eyes.

Aaron sighed heavily. "You are gonna be a hard one, aren’t you, J?"

The little boy just shrugged.

**~~~☆~~~**

For days, Aaron tried to get the tiny boy to open up to him, but to no avail. During that time, he had come to realize just how adept the little blonde was on the ice, and it impressed the hell out of the ten-year-old. 

"You’re really good, J." Aaron praised, causing the boy to blush slightly. "Here, let me show you a trick…"

Shepard’s big blue eyes went wide with wonder as the green-eyed boy shot the puck across the ice and into the net with a trick move the small boy had obviously never seen before. 

_ 'What the hell just happened!? How the hell did he do that!?'  _ The voice exclaimed in shock.

'That was so fuckin' cool! Maybe he ain't so bad after all…' Shepard thought, cocking his tiny blonde head to the side.

_ 'Don't just stand there! Make him show you how he did that!'  _ The voice demanded.

"Show me." The little blonde demanded, with such authority that it shocked the older boy.

'He doesn't talk much, but when he does, he really means business,' Aaron mused.

Aaron smiled, knowing he had finally managed to break through the little boy’s walls, even if it was just a small break. "Sure… Come here and let me show you."

Shepard spent the rest of the day practising Aaron’s trick shot with the determination of kids three times his age. It impressed the hell out of the ten-year-old and gave him a tiny sense of pride as well.

"Almost, J!" Aaron exclaimed. "You were so close!"

"Why won't it go in the goddamn net!? What the hell am I doing wrong!?" The tiny blonde raged, surprising Aaron with his colourful choice of words.

"Your parents let you talk like that?" Aaron asked with a grin.

"I ain't got no fuckin’ parents. I don't care what Dani and Eric think. They ain't my mommy and daddy," the tiny blonde replied in a firm tone as he took another shot, "Fuck!"

"They aren't? Then, who are your parents?" Aaron asked, genuinely curious about the tiny boy's situation.

The tiny boy just shrugged.

"Who are Dani and Eric, I mean, if they aren't your mom and dad," the older boy asked.

"Assholes, that’s what," the tiny blonde replied while trying once more to make the shot, "Goddammit!"

"J, I’m serious. Who are they?" Aaron asked, chuckling a bit at the blue-eyed boy’s response.

"They just foster me, that's all," Shepard answered, obviously wanting to change the subject. "Can you please, tell me what I'm doing wrong?"

"Oh. Yeah. Sure. Come here, and I'll show you," Aaron instructed the small boy.

Aaron placed his hand over the little boy's as he gripped the hockey stick. "You just need to flick your wrist a bit at the very end… Like this…"

With that, the puck finally entered the net.

"Way to go, J! You did it!"

"No,  **we** did it. I want to learn to do it myself," the determined little blonde insisted.

"You're the most dedicated kid I have ever met, yeah," Aaron grinned, shaking his head at the tiny boy.

Little Shepard just shrugged and took the shot, alone. This time the puck went exactly where the tiny blonde wanted it to.

"I did it!" Shepard exclaimed, happiness evident in his voice. "Aaron, look! I did it all by myself!"

"I knew you could do it, J!" Aaron praised the tiny blonde. "You're unbelievably talented!"

"T-thank you," the blue-eyed boy stuttered, embarrassed by the compliment. 

"Okay, guys, time's up!" Coach Miller announced, signalling for the kids to exit the ice.

"Do you need help with your gear, J?" Aaron offered as he walked side by side with the tiny blonde.

"I guess," the little boy replied in a small voice.

Once in the locker room, Aaron gently took off the little boy's skates. "There you go," Aaron replied, moving to assist little Shepard out of his oversized jersey. 

Aaron froze in shock when he saw the tiny blonde's chest. 'I knew I saw bruises on him! What the hell?' 

"J, how'd you get those bruises?"

Little Shepard furrowed his brow. "I fell down. I fall a lot when I practise."

"So… they're from falling on the ice," Aaron asked, confused by the child's answer.

"Yeah. I need to be tough — you know, because I'm small." The tiny blonde explained as he replaced the jersey and shoulder pads with a fresh t-shirt.

"Uh-huh… Does your dad ever push you around, you know, to toughen you up," the green-eyed boy questioned, hoping that the little boy would tell him the truth.

Just as the tiny blonde was about to answer, they were interrupted by the sound of the locker room door being opened.

"Hey, little dude! Daddy's here to pick you up!" The young man's voice was loud as he entered the locker room. "Ready to go, squirt?" 

Little Shepard just nodded as his foster father took him by the hand. 

"How has he been playing? He's pretty good, right," Eric bragged.

"Y-yeah… He's probably the best I've seen for his age," Aaron answered truthfully. 

"Great! That's what I like to hear. Well, we better get going. See you next time, kid," Eric replied, waving as he rushed out of the room with little Shepard in tow.

**~~~☆~~~**

**A week later —**

"See, Aaron, I can do it every time now! I don't ever miss," the tiny blonde said, excitement in his voice.

"Damn, J! You learned that hella fast! I'm so proud of you," Aaron praised, causing the tiny player to blush.

"I practised really hard. Thank you for showing me how," the little boy said shyly.

"Aw, that was no problem, little man," Aaron assured him.

"John…" The younger boy whispered.

"Huh?" The older boy asked in confusion.

"My name — it's John."

"John, huh. Well, would it be alright if I just kept calling you 'J'?" Aaron asked, already attached to the name J.

The little boy thought for a moment before answering. "That's fine. I like it when you call me J."

"It's settled then! You are officially my J," Aaron informed the now blushing little blonde. "Is that alright with you, J?"

"Y-yeah. I guess so." 

"That's my J! Let's go shoot some pucks, eh," Aaron said with a broad smile and mischievous pale-green eyes.

**~~~☆~~~**

**A few months later —**

"So, you're starting the Novice class soon. What team do you want to play for?" Aaron asked, taking a bite of his apple.

"I dunno. Don't care what team, as long as I get to play," the tiny boy shrugged before taking a drink of his water.

The older boy chuckled. "That's a good attitude to have, I guess."

"Aaron… What's your favourite team?" The tiny blonde asked, cocking his tiny head to the side.

"The 'Nucks, duh," the green-eyed boy laughed as he nudged the younger boy playfully. "Born and raised in Vancouver. What did you expect? Judging by the jersey you always wear, I'd wager that they're your favourite as well."

The tiny blonde giggled, and Aaron thought it was the most adorable thing that he had ever heard in his whole entire life.

"Yeah. I love the 'Nucks," the little blonde agreed. "My favourite player is Hank. I like Daniel, too, but I wanna play centre, like Hank."

"Well, I'm a right-winger, so Daniel's my favourite," Aaron grinned, "We make a pretty great team, don't we, J?"

"Uh-huh," the little blonde agreed.

"J, do you think that your foster parents would let you come over to my house for dinner some evening?" The older boy asked. "I'd like to introduce you to my family."

Little Shepard furrowed his brow in confusion. "Why?"

"What do you mean, why? You lost me, J."

"Why do you want them to meet me?" The tiny boy asked nervously.

"Well, because you're my friend, and I like you. I think they'll like you, too," Aaron explained.

_ 'He likes you!? Colour me surprised. You know you want to go. After all, didn't you say, 'he has pretty eyes'?'  _ The voice teased.

"But he does have pretty eyes," the tiny blonde said aloud without realizing.

"Who has pretty eyes?" Aaron asked in confusion.

"What," the little boy asked, head cocked to the side in confusion.

Aaron chuckled at the little blonde. "You said, 'But he does have pretty eyes.' Who were you talking to?"

_ 'Great! You're gonna scare him away! Please don't show your 'crazy'  _ — _ at least not yet.' _

"I'm sorry," the little blonde apologized, hoping that he wouldn't scare the older boy away. "I didn't mean to. I forget sometimes."

The green-eyed boy was utterly lost. "Forget what?"

"I'm not supposed to answer out loud… I'm sorry," the little boy tried to explain, but was growing more and more anxious by the second.

"It's okay, J. Calm down. I think I understand," the older boy reassured the tiny boy, "It's not a problem, eh."

"You aren't mad?" The little boy asked.

"Nah, not at all…" The older boy glanced at the little boy for a few more seconds to make sure he had calmed down. "You never answered my question, you know. Do you think you can come over for dinner?"

Shepard shrugged, "I'm not sure. I ain't never asked. If it ain't got nothing to do with hockey, I doubt they'll let me."

"Well, do you mind if I ask him?" Aaron suggested.

"If you want," little Shepard shrugged.

"It's settled then. I'll ask him when he picks you up this evening," Aaron grinned as he finished the rest of his lunch. "Are you ready to hit the ice again?"

"Uh-huh." The tiny blonde nodded as he rose to his feet, waiting patiently for his new-found friend.

"Let's go, J," Aaron grinned as they made their way to the ice.

**~~~☆~~~**

Aaron waited patiently for Shepard's foster father to arrive — becoming increasingly more nervous as time passed.

"He's kinda late, huh, J," the older boy stated, noticing just how tired the little boy beside him was becoming.

"Maybe he ain't coming," the tiny blonde yawned as he spoke.

Aaron's father entered the locker room. "Do you want me to call and see what the hold up is?"

"I guess that would be the best thing for us to do," Aaron agreed.

"Okay, little man, what's your number?" The elder Hayes asked with a soft smile.

The tiny blonde just shrugged.

Father and son looked at each other in disbelief.

"You don't know your phone number, J?" Aaron asked in disbelief.

The little boy just shook his head.

"I'll go check with the supervisor and get the number from her," Andrew replied, touching his son's shoulder as he passed.

"We’ll be fine, yeah," Aaron grinned as he sat down beside the tired little blonde. “Are you sleepy, J?"

"A little," the tiny boy whispered.

"Here, you can use me for a pillow," Aaron suggested. "Just lay your head on my lap and try to sleep some, yeah."

The tiny blonde did as he was told, and, within seconds, Shepard was asleep.

Aaron took off his jacket and placed it over the tiny boy in a makeshift blanket as he gently stroked the boy's soft blonde hair.

"Your foster parents are dicks, huh, J," Aaron whispered to the sleeping boy.

Aaron's father returned a few minutes later.

"Well, I finally got through to them," Andrew explained, "Mr. Stevenson said he had to work late, and that he had told his wife, but apparently she had forgotten to pick little Johnny up."

"They're awful people," Aaron whispered in disgust.

"Aaron, isn't that a bit harsh? You don't know these people, and to my knowledge, this is the first time that this has happened. So, maybe give them the benefit of the doubt, eh," Andrew suggested.

Aaron gently pulled back the makeshift blanket and carefully pulled up the little boy's shirt, revealing the bruises underneath. "I know all I need to."

Andrew's gaze turned sour as he took in the sight of the bruised little boy. "How did this happen? Did J tell you?"

"He said he fell on the ice, that he had to be tough and learn to take a hit because he's so tiny," Aaron explained with tears in his eyes, "The thing is, Dad, he's always got them. They never go away — they're always there. So, when will he be tough enough?"

"I think I should have a talk with this man," Andrew offered, obviously upset with the situation. "This is clearly unacceptable behaviour."

"Just tell him J's plenty tough enough," Aaron whispered. "Maybe then, he'll stop."

"Sorry I'm late," Shepard's foster father said loudly, announcing his arrival. "Had to work late, and the wife totally forgot to pick him up. Ah, he fell asleep already! Come on, little dude, time to wake up."

"No need to wake the child. I can carry him to the car," the elder Hayes stated, as he gently picked the tiny boy up, making his way to the exit. "Besides, you and I need to talk."

"Jesus, what did he do this time?" Eric asked, pinching the bridge of his nose in irritation.

Aaron rolled his eyes in disgust as he grabbed his hockey bag and headed out after his father.

**~~~☆~~~**

Once outside, Andrew carefully placed the sleeping boy in his seat and buckled him in before turning to the young blonde man.

"I won't waste your time. I'll be brief," Andrew promised as he continued to speak. "It has come to our attention that young Johnny is covered in bruises. Care to tell me why that is?"

"Oh, that... We train pretty often with hockey players that are much older than Johnny," Eric explained calmly, "Sometimes they forget his size and well, he ends up taking some pretty heavy hits. He's tough, though, and never complains. He just gets right back up and keeps going. You're a hockey dad — you understand how it is."

"No, I don't understand," Andrew shook his head as he spoke, "While I am a hockey dad, I have never felt the need to inflict unnecessary harm upon my child just to toughen him up. Don't you think you should stop?"

"Hey, I never subject him to harm on purpose," Eric replied, "Any time he falls or gets hit, it is clearly by accident. I would never hurt that kid. He's my little dude. And most of those bruises are self-inflicted."

"Self-inflicted?" Andrew questioned, "How so?"

"Well, I didn't want to say anything, but Johnny's nuts. He talks to himself constantly, and that temper he has — it's awful! He lashes out, breaks things, hits himself, the whole nine. So, yeah, he gets bruised from time to time, but I assure you, I'm not the cause."

"I see," Andrew replied, unsure whether he actually believed the young man. "I'll let it pass for now, but do try to keep him from hurting himself in the future."

"Oh, his mother and I are working on it, believe me," Eric said while offering his hand to the elder Hayes, "But thanks for your concern. It's good to know someone is looking out for the kids around here."

Andrew took the man's hand in his and shook it firmly. "Before you go, I would like to ask if young Johnny could come over to our house for dinner one evening. My son is quite fond of him and would like to introduce him to our family. I am aware that after our conversation, you may not want your son around us, but I assure you, we were just looking out for the little one."

"Nah, man, it's all good," Eric assured, "I'll have to talk it over with the wife, but I'm sure it won't be a problem. I'll let you know. Sorry to rush, but I really need to get the little dude home."

"Of course," Andrew replied, "I understand. Sorry for the misunderstanding."

"No problem, dude," Eric smiled, trying his best to charm the man. "You did a good thing, looking out for my kid like that. See you guys later."

Andrew waved to the man as he exited the parking lot and made his way home.

"Don't tell me you bought that load of bullshit?" Aaron asked angrily. "He's a goddamn liar, Dad!"

"Aaron Andrew Hayes, calm down and watch your mouth," Andrew warned, "I know you're upset, but that's no excuse for your language. You can't possibly know if the man is lying or not. Hell, I'm not entirely certain whether he was truthful or not."

"I'll believe J's words over that asshole's any day!" Aaron exclaimed, angry that his father hadn't done more to help his tiny friend.

"As you should," Andrew explained, "But the best thing we can do now, is to keep an eye on the little guy, and the second there is an escalation, we report it. Is that good enough for you, Aaron?"

Aaron sighed heavily, "I guess it'll have to be."

"I'm proud of you for wanting to protect your friend," Andrew said as he kissed Aaron on the forehead. "Now, let's get home before your mother sends the search party, eh."

Aaron smiled at his father's words, "I love you, Dad."

"I love you too, Son."   
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shepard and Aaron finally met. The real story begins now. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! I hope you are enjoying it so far.


	5. I Don't Belong Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little Shepard meets Aarons family. 
> 
> **The voice is in italics.**

In the months that followed, Aaron and his little J had grown even closer. They had become familiar with one another, so much so, that little Shepard no longer shied away from Aaron or his touch. It was a change that had pleasantly surprised the young ten-year-old. And he often wondered if the little boy had even realized the change, or if he, too, was as surprised as Aaron had been.

"Are you ready to go, J?" The green-eyed boy asked as he handed the younger boy's hockey bag to his father, Andrew.

"I guess," the tiny blonde shrugged, obviously nervous about the upcoming dinner.

"Don't worry, J," Aaron's father assured the anxious little boy, "We don't bite."

"Yeah, except for Allie, maybe," Aaron teased, green eyes glittering, "She can be pretty fierce."

"Is Allie your dog?" Shepard asked, confused by the older boy's comment.

Aaron and his father, Andrew, glanced at each other briefly before bursting out into laughter.

"You never told him you have a sister?" Andrew asked, trying to stifle his laughter but failing miserably.

"Must have slipped my mind," Aaron chuckled. "Allie's my older sister. She'll probably tease you a bit."

Noticing the little boy's stiffening posture, Andrew tried to put the child at ease. "Honestly, Aaron! Stop trying to scare the boy. Your sister isn't that bad."

"I just want my J to know what he's getting into. That's all, yeah," the older boy grinned as he gave little Shepard a quick wink. 

"Are you sure they want me to come?" The tiny blonde asked shyly. "It's okay if they don't. I can just go home."

"Oh, no, you don't!" Aaron teased as he pulled the little blonde into a tight hug, kissing the top of his tiny head, "You are **not** getting out of this!"

"It's not that I don't wanna go…" The little boy whispered, "I'm just scared to go."

"Why's that?" Andrew asked.

"I always mess things up. I break stuff sometimes," little Shepard explained, "I don't mean to, but I'm really awkward."

"Aw, that's okay," Aaron promised, hugging the little boy even tighter, "If you break something, I'll just tell Mom that I did it. Problem solved."

" **Aaron** ," his father warned, "Lying isn't the kind of behaviour you should be instilling in the young man."

"Lighten up, Dad," Aaron groaned, "I just want to make J feel at ease. Is that so bad?"

Andrew sighed, "No, I suppose not. I think it's about time we left. So, one last time, are you two ready?"

"You ready, J?" Aaron asked, taking the tiny hand in his.

"Uh-huh," the tiny blonde nodded.

"To the car, boys," Andrew instructed as they made their way to the car.

**~~~☆~~~**

"Come on, J," the older boy said, as he grabbed the younger boy firmly by the hand, "I'll show you around."

"Have fun, boys," Andrew chuckled as he made his way towards the kitchen, "I'll call you when it's time for dinner."

"Okay, Dad," Aaron replied as he made his way to the family room. "This is where we watch TV and play games as a family — you know, stuff like cards and board-games, things like that."

"Your family's really close, huh," the tiny blonde mused as he took in the sights surrounding him.

"Yeah, I guess," the older boy shrugged, "I never really thought about it before, but I guess we are pretty close. Isn't there a family room at your house?"

"Not that I know of," the little blonde answered, "We don't play games together."

"Oh. Well, what do you all do for fun?" The green-eyed boy asked, his curiosity piquing.

"Nothing," The little boy replied, "I do hockey stuff with Eric, but that ain't exactly fun."

"What about your foster mom, Dani?" Aaron asked, surprised by the tiny blonde's answers, "Don't you spend any time with her?"

Little Shepard shook his head, "No, she don't want me. She says I'm Eric's problem, not hers."

Not liking where the conversation was going, Aaron quickly changed the subject. "Hey, J, wanna see my room?"

"Okay," the tiny blonde agreed as he followed the older boy upstairs.

"You got a big house," Shepard said, a look of wonder in his blue eyes.

"Yeah, we're fortunate, I'm not gonna lie," Aaron admitted. "We're pretty well off. Does that make you uncomfortable, J?"

"A little," the younger boy answered truthfully, "I know I don't belong here."

"Don't say that," Aaron whined, "You're my friend, yeah. And my friends belong anywhere I belong. Got it, J?"

_'He is_ **_extremely_ ** _naive. I don't think he understands where you're coming from at all._ **_Sigh—_ ** _Well, at least he has pretty eyes.'_

"He **does** have pretty eyes," the little boy agreed aloud, causing the older boy to cock his head in confusion.

"That's the second time you've said that," the green-eyed boy insisted, "Are you finally going to tell me who you're talking about?"

"Dammit! I did it again! I'm so dumb," the little boy exclaimed as he hit the side of his head with his tiny fist.

"Hey, now! Stop that, J! Whatever you think you did, it wasn't anything bad, eh," Aaron promised as he gently took hold of the tiny boy's hands.

"I'm not supposed to talk to him out loud," little Shepard explained, growing more upset by the second. "It makes everybody mad when I do."

"J, it's okay to have an imaginary friend. I don't mind if you speak to him," Aaron assured the little boy.

_'Goddammit! I AM_ **_NOT_ ** _IMAGINARY!'_

"HE'S NOT IMAGINARY!" Shepard yelled, his irritation beginning to take over.

"Okay, okay." The older boy whispered as he tried his best to calm his tiny friend, "Calm down. Just take a breath. Just breathe. Can you do that for me, J? Just breathe, and you'll feel better."

The tiny blonde did as he was told, and before long, he was beginning to feel a little better.

"Are you feeling better, J?" Aaron asked, stroking Shepard's soft blonde hair gently as he spoke.

"I'm okay. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell," the younger boy apologized. "Do you hate me, Aaron?"

The question confused the older boy. Why on earth would Aaron hate him? 

"Of course not! I could never hate you. You're my J, remember," Aaron spoke softly, as he tried reassuring the young boy. "I don't mind if you talk out loud. It's okay, yeah." 

The door to Aaron's bedroom flew open, and a young girl of thirteen with long black hair and pale-green eyes, stood in the doorway, glaring at the two boys.

"What the hell was all that screaming," The female version of Aaron demanded. "I was trying to concentrate on my homework, and you interrupted me!"

"We were just goofing off, nothing for you to worry about," Aaron informed her. "Besides, you had your music blaring, so don't blame us for your lack of concentration!"

"You are such an ass— Aw, who's the little doll baby," the older girl asked, as she came to sit in front of the tiny blonde.

"Don't crowd him, eh," Aaron pleaded, "He's shy and doesn't like to be touched by strangers."

"So introduce us already," the older girl demanded.

" _Sigh—_ Fine. Allie, this is J, but you can call him Shepard. J, this is Allie, my older sister."

"Why can't I call him J, like you do?" Allie asked as she winked at the tiny blonde.

"Because I'm the only one that can call him that. Well, me — and Dad, on occasion," Aaron replied.

"Whatever," Allie said as she rolled her eyes at her little brother. "You are so cute, Shepard! I'll bet you have tons of girlfriends."

The tiny blonde shook his head, a serious look in his sapphire-blue eyes, "No, I don't like girls."

Aaron snickered as Allie broke out laughing.

"How old are you, like six?" Allie asked.

"I'm seven now."

"Seven, eh," Allie grinned, "Well, I'll bet you'll change your mind in a few years."

"I don't think so. I like boys," the tiny blonde answered in a serious tone.

"Trust me, kid, I know what I'm talking about," Allie insisted. "Aaron didn't like girls until he was like nine."

"You like girls?" The little blonde asked, looking at Aaron with a sad, puppy-dog look.

"Well, yeah," Aaron replied, "Girls are nice, and some are really pretty."

Little Shepard didn't know why this information disappointed him, but it did. The thought of his friend Aaron liking girls made the tiny boy very sad, and he didn't quite know why.

"Don't you think girls are pretty, Shepard?" The young girl asked, her green eyes sparkling.

"Not really." Little Shepard whispered.

"Not really? Are you gay or something?" Allie teased as she broke out laughing.

"Allie, that's enough! He's just a little kid. He doesn't even know what that means. Leave him alone, yeah," Aaron scolded his sister, as he motioned for her to leave the room.

"Oh, shut up! I was obviously just playing. No way someone that cute and athletic could ever turn out gay," Allie replied as she kissed a shocked Shepard on the cheek before running out the door. "See ya at dinner, cutie!"

"Sorry about that, J," Aaron apologized as he took the sleeve of his hoodie and wiped the lip gloss from little Shepard's cheek. "She wears that coloured lip gloss, and it's all over your cheek."

"I wish she hadn't kissed me," the tiny blonde pouted, "I didn't like it."

The green-eyed boy let out a chuckle, "I'll protect you. She won't do it again. So, don't worry, J."

"Okay." The tiny blonde replied as he took a look around the spacious bedroom. "Are those all yours?" Shepard asked, his big blue eyes going wide as he pointed to the large trophy case sitting against the far wall.

"Um… yeah, they are," Aaron smiled, liking how his young friend's eyes sparkled. "Wanna check 'em out, J?"

"Can I?" The tiny blonde asked, bouncing up-and-down in anticipation.

"Of course you can," Aaron grinned as he took the tiny boy by the hand, and led him to the case. 

"You must really be great at hockey," the little boy praised as he ran his tiny fingers along the outside of the glass.

Aaron smiled at the tiny blonde. "I'm okay. I think you'll be better than me in a few years."

The little blue-eyed boy shook his head furiously. "No way! You're the best! Even better than Hank!"

"I wish," Aaron chuckled.

"What do they all mean? Like, what are the big ones for?" Shepard asked.

"Let's see… The big ones, the cups, are from tournaments that my teams have won," Aaron explained.

"You won a lot," the younger boy said, surprised by the number of cups in the trophy case. 

"Yeah, we did alright," Aaron grinned as he explained what the rest of the awards meant. "The medals are personal awards. Like most improved, best on ice, the fastest skater, most goals, MVP… Things like that. The small trophies are basically the same, but they're mostly high scorer trophies."

"What about the jersey?" The tiny blonde inquired.

"That's my jersey from Atom class," Aaron explained, "My team retired my number."

"You're awesome," Shepard praised as he took in every detail of the black and gold jersey. "You were number 07."

"Yep, that's always been my number. It's my number this year, too," the green-eyed boy replied with a wink.

"I wish I could watch you play," the tiny boy whispered sadly.

"I can get you a ticket anytime, J," Aaron offered, "Just say the word."

"Thank you, but I'm always training. I never get to actually watch hockey anymore. I hate it," Shepard admitted truthfully.

"Do you still like playing, J?" Aaron asked, hoping that the little boy's love for hockey wasn't dying due to burnout.

"Of course I do, just not when Eric's around," the little boy explained.

"I get that," Aaron nodded, "Maybe I can get him to let you come to a game. Like a special game, maybe."

"A special game?" The younger boy asked in confusion.

"Yeah, like a championship or a tourney," Aaron suggested. "Do you think he'd let you go then?"

"Maybe. I'd really like to go…"

"Boys, dinner is just about ready," Aaron's father informed them with a knock, "Come on down, and help set the table, eh."

"Okay, Dad," Aaron answered as he took Shepard by the hand, and led him to the dining room.

**~~~☆~~~**

"I'll hand you the plates, and you can just place them in front of the chairs, like this," Aaron explained, showing the tiny blonde how it was done.

"Okay," the tiny blonde nodded as he rocked back and forth on the balls of his tiny feet.

One-by-one, the plates were set, followed by the silverware and napkins, until all that remained were the glasses.

"Okay, J, I have to go ask Mom which glasses to use," Aaron explained, "I'll be right back. Wait right here."

The tiny blonde began to, once again, rock back and forth upon the balls of his feet as he played with the edges of the plate in front of him — growing increasingly more fidgety by the second.

"Hyper little thing, aren't you?"

The unknown voice startled the tiny blonde, and in his fright, a plate was knocked from the table, shattering as it hit the ground.

"Oh, for the love of…" A lady with dark-brown hair and light-green eyes, yelled as she made her way over to where the shattered plate lay in several pieces at the tiny boy's feet. "Honestly, you should be more careful. This wouldn't have happened if you had been paying attention, young man."

"I-I'm sorry! I'll pick it up," the little boy promised, in a panic, as he immediately began to collect the shards.

"No, that's quite all right," the dark-haired lady replied, trying to get the young boy's attention. "Let me finish picking it up before you cut yourself, young man."

All Shepard could hear was the sound of blood rushing in his ears. Feeling as if she was being ignored on purpose, the lady finally yelled out, **"Step away from the glass before you get cut!"**

The sheer volume of her voice startled the tiny blonde, making him cut his tiny hand on the sharp edge of the shard he was holding.

"Now look what you've done," the lady scolded, her light-green eyes darkened in anger. "Why didn't you listen? Is something wrong with you?"

"I-I'm sorry…" The little boy whispered, afraid to look the angry lady in the eyes.

"Yes, you've said that already," the woman scoffed as she called for her daughter, "Allie, bring me the first aid kit."

Upon hearing his mother's distress, Aaron quickly made his way back to the dining room only to find his mother, Anna, crouched in front of his J, a broken plate between them, and a trickle of blood coming from J's tiny hand.

"J, what happened?" Aaron asked as he rushed to his tiny friend's side.

"He doesn't listen, that's what happened," Aaron's mother scolded as she applied pressure to the wound on the little boy's left hand.

"I'm sorry…" The tiny blonde apologized once more.

"Oh, hush," Anna scolded as Allie made her way into the room with the first aid kit in hand. "That was one of my favourite plates too."

"Mom, he didn't mean to," Aaron explained, trying his best to defend his tiny friend, "It was an accident, yeah."

"I know that, Aaron," his mother snapped. "Get another plate out of the cabinet and finish setting out the plain glasses. God knows I don't want any more of my good dishes to be broken — accident or no."

Aaron gave his mother a harsh look before doing as he was told. 

"Allie, hold his hand while I clean the cut," Anna instructed.

"Don't bite me, okay, little dude," Allie teased as she took his tiny hand in hers.

"This might sting a bit, but do try to keep still," Anna demanded as she gently cleaned the little blonde's wound. 

Careful not to anger the woman further, the little boy remained stock still as the lady cleaned and covered the wound.

"Well done, young man," Anna praised as she slowly rose to her feet, bringing the tiny boy with her. "Hopefully, there won't be a repeat at dinner tonight. Allie, help me bring the food out. Aaron, go get your father. Dinner's ready."

"Come on, J," Aaron said softly, taking Shepard's tiny hand in his, "Let's go get Dad, yeah."

**~~~☆~~~**

"Dad, dinner's ready," Aaron informed his father with a sad look on his face.

"What's with the long faces? You two were fine a few minutes ago," Andrew inquired, wondering what exactly he had missed.

"J accidentally cut his hand, and Mom wasn't very nice about it," the green-eyed boy explained, slightly peeved with his mother's behaviour.

"It's my fault. I broke a plate. I didn't mean to. I'm sorry," the little boy pleaded.

" _Sigh—_ That's Anna for you. She probably scolded him," Andrew surmised as he ran a hand through the little blonde's hair. "Don't let her bother you, little one. She means you no harm."

The tiny blonde nodded as he gripped Aaron's hand tighter.

"We better get to the table before she has another fit," Andrew smiled as he made his way towards the dining room.

"Aaron… I wanna go home. I don't belong here. I made your mommy mad." Shepard spoke, quietly, as he buried his tiny head in Aaron's stomach.

"Aren't you hungry, J?" Aaron asked, hoping to convince the little boy to stay.

The tiny blonde just shook his head slowly.

"Okay, I understand," Aaron whispered as he rubbed the little boy's back gently. "Wait here, okay. I'll go get my dad."

**~~~☆~~~**

"Dad, can I talk to you?" The green-eyed boy asked, nervously — as he stood chewing his bottom lip.

"Aaron, get your little friend and sit down," Anna insisted. "The food is getting cold."

"Dad, can I **please** talk to you for a second?" Aaron pleaded.

"Okay," Andrew replied as he started to leave his seat.

"Andrew, sit down," Anna demanded, "Aaron, whatever you have to ask your father, you can ask in front of the rest of the family."

"Fine," Aaron said, "Dad, J wants to go home."

"Now? But he hasn't eaten anything yet. Surely, he must be hungry by now," Andrew replied, confused by the sudden change of heart.

"He lost his appetite," Aaron answered, looking in his mother's direction.

"Okay, I'll get my—"

"No, Andrew, you aren't going anywhere until both you and Aaron have finished your dinner. If he's too good to eat with us, that's fine. He can sit in the family room and starve. Aaron, sit down before your dinner goes completely cold," Anna demanded.

Allie glanced up from her plate, looking to Aaron and then to her father, feeling sorry for the little boy, but knowing better than to go against her mother.

"No thanks, Mom," Aaron replied, disappointed in his mother's behaviour, "I'm not very hungry. Dad, J and I, will be outside when you're ready."

"Aaron Andrew Hayes, if you won't sit down and have your dinner, then you can go to bed hungry. Do you understand me?"

"I understand," Aaron assured his mother as he made his way back to his J.

"Anna, that was uncalled for! That child has done nothing to warrant this amount of venom from you," Andrew yelled as he slapped the table hard with both hands.

"He broke my favourite plate, Andrew," Anna replied coolly.

"It's a goddamn plate! He's seven years old, Anna," Andrew argued, "Which do you think is more important, a child or a fucking plate!? It was an accident. He wasn't **trying** to destroy your property!"

"It's a mistake for Aaron to spend so much time with a child like that," Anna insisted, "You know how children like that turn out. Do you really want our son involved with someone like that?"

"Jesus, Anna, he's seven for chrissakes," Andrew yelled, hoping his wife would see reason, but knowing in his heart how unlikely that would be.

"He won't be seven forever," Anna retorted.

"I knew I, never, should have told you that he was a foster child. He's a good kid, Anna — no better or worse than Allie or Aaron. His background doesn't make him bad. Kids are just kids, no matter where they're from. That child deserves a chance — for Aaron's sake," Andrew sighed, growing tired of the fight. "Why do I keep hoping that you'll ever change?"

And with that, Andrew left the table, leaving only Allie and her mother to sit in awkward silence.

**~~~☆~~~**

**The drive home —**

"Aaron, I don't know about you, but I'm starving," Andrew stated as he pulled into the parking lot of a nearby Italian style restaurant. "How about you, J? Are you hungry?"

Andrew's heart sank when he saw the little boy shake his head slowly. 

"There's no way we can let you go home on an empty stomach," the elder Hayes explained, "What would your foster parents think?"

"They won't care," the little boy replied, his voice low and sad.

"Well, I care," Aaron spoke up, causing the tiny blonde to gaze in his direction. "I care, J. So, come and eat with us, yeah."

The tiny blonde chewed his lip for a few seconds before finally nodding in agreement.

"Excellent!" Andrew exclaimed as he opened the car door for the two boys.

**~~~☆~~~**

"How's the food? Is it good?" Andrew asked, smiling at the little blonde boy currently slurping down a strand of spaghetti.

"It's good," the tiny blonde approved. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Andrew replied, laughing as he watched Aaron and Shepard play with their food.

"I have a buddy that can pull a spaghetti noodle out his nose," Aaron informed the tiny blonde who looked back at him with a disgusted look.

"Why would they do that?" The little boy asked. "That's nasty!"

Aaron and his father chuckled and nodded in agreement.

"I wholeheartedly agree, J," Andrew agreed with a smile, "It's a disgusting practice."

"Yep," Shepard agreed as he proceeded to hit Aaron with a breadstick.

"You wanna fight, J?" The green-eyed boy laughed as he challenged his tiny friend to a breadstick sword fight.

"I win," the older boy called out, causing the younger boy to blow him a raspberry.

"I almost had you," the tiny boy insisted, laying his head on the older boy's shoulder.

"You getting sleepy, J?" Aaron asked softly as the little blonde nodded slowly while wrapping his tiny arms firmly around the older boy's neck.

"Then I guess we had better get you home, eh," Andrew said as he motioned for the cheque. "I can carry him if you want."

"Nah, he's wrapped around my neck pretty good," Aaron replied, "I can carry him to the car."

"You sure he's not too heavy? Wouldn't want you dropping him, eh," the elder Hayes warned.

"He's pretty light. I won't drop him," Aaron insisted as he stood up with the tiny boy on his hip. "See… no problem, eh."

Andrew smiled as they made their way to the car.

**~~~☆~~~**

By the time they had arrived at the Stevenson household, the tiny blonde was sound asleep, not even flinching when Aaron removed him from the car and carried him to the front door.

Andrew rang the bell, and a few seconds later, the door opened.

"Good evening, Mrs. Stevenson," Andrew greeted with a smile. "It seems little Johnny fell asleep on the way home."

"Yeah, he does that all the time," Dani shrugged as she roughly took the boy from Aaron's arms, causing the tiny boy to stir slightly. 

"He had a small accident and cut his hand," Andrew explained, "It wasn't anything serious, just a scratch."

" _Sigh—_ That stupid boy! I swear to god! So, what did he break," Dani asked, obviously annoyed by the news, "How much is it gonna cost us?"

Aaron clenched his fist in anger as the woman spoke. He was already disgusted with the woman — this only cemented those feelings.

"Uh, nothing. Nothing at all," Andrew assured the woman, feeling very uncomfortable with how she was speaking when it came to the tiny blonde. "It was just an accident. Please don't be angry with him."

Dani laughed, "As long as he doesn't cost me money, I don't care what he does. Look, I have to go get dinner ready for my husband. He's working late tonight."

"Of course, we won't keep you," Andrew said as he led Aaron to the car.

**~~~☆~~~**

"God, I hate leaving J with her," Aaron complained.

"She isn't a very loving mother, is she?" Andrew mused. 

"That's putting it mildly," Aaron whispered.

"Still, she doesn't abuse him," Andrew pointed out. "That's a good thing."

The green-eyed boy laughed bitterly. "Isn't emotional neglect considered abuse?"

Andrew considered his son's words carefully before answering. "That's true. But she keeps him clean, clothed, and well-fed. So, it could be much worse."

"I guess," Aaron sighed. "I just wish he was happier, yeah."

"Yeah, it would be nice to see," Andrew said, agreeing with his young son. "By the way, Son… Let's not tell your mother that we stopped for dinner, eh. I really don't want to incur her wrath."

Aaron laughed, nodding in agreement, "Agreed… I don't understand Mom. She's such a kind and gentle mother, but she treated J so badly. She has never treated Allie and me like that. I mean, I've seen her treat adults like that, but never a little kid. It kind of shocked me."

"I know. Your mother was out of line. I tried talking to her, but she's a very stubborn woman. She wasn't trying to cause harm," Andrew explained, "It was just Anna being Anna. So, please don't hold it against her."

"I won't," Aaron promised. "It just sucks that she hurt my friend, yeah."

"I know," Andrew smiled sadly. "Well, we're home. Let's see if we can sneak in without incident."

Aaron laughed as he followed his father into the lion's den. "Here's hoping that Mom's asleep…"

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	6. No Room for Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard meets Aaron's friends, and the Stevensons get some unexpected news.
> 
> **The voice is in italics**

Over the next year, Aaron had the privilege of watching his young friend excel in the Novice class. Impressing everyone with his keen sense of hockey, little Shepard had become a favourite on the ice. And Aaron couldn't have been prouder.

"Just a few more games and your team gets to play in the tourney," the green-eyed boy grinned as he helped the young blonde with his gear. "Are you excited, J?"

"I think so…" Shepard replied, brow furrowed as he spoke, "I think I'm more nervous than excited."

Aaron's eyes went wide in surprise at his young friend's reply. In the two years that he had known the boy, Shepard had never been nervous while playing hockey, not even once.

"Wow, I never expected you to say that, J," the older boy admitted, scratching his jaw lazily, "May I ask why you're nervous?"

"I just know I'll mess up," the blue-eyed boy answered truthfully, anxiety apparent on the little boy's face as he spoke, "I'll do something stupid and end up disappointing everybody I know — my team, my coach, Eric, but most importantly… I'll disappoint **you** , Aaron."

Aaron ran his hand through the boy's soft blonde hair gently. "J, you know that could never happen, right? I could **never** be disappointed in you. Even if you fall down a thousand times or miss every shot, I'll still be proud of you. Wanna know why?"

The little blonde nodded, cocking his head to the side in wonder.

"Because you're my J," the older boy answered truthfully. "So, try not to worry, yeah. Just play and have fun like you always do. And if you start feeling overwhelmed, well, just take a deep breath and breathe. Just breathe, J."

"Just breathe," little Shepard repeated like a mantra.

"That's right, J," Aaron said, gently brushing a stray strand of blonde hair from his young friend's sapphire-blue eyes. "Are you still coming to my game Saturday night?"

"Of course I am," Shepard answered happily, looking forward to watching his friend play.

"Great game, little dude!" Eric exclaimed as he made his way towards Shepard and Aaron. "Are you ready to go? We promised your mom that we'd come straight home."

"I guess," the little blonde answered with a sad look on his face.

"I'll see you on Saturday, yeah, J," Aaron reminded the tiny blonde with a wink.

"Saturday," the younger boy agreed with a smile.

**~~~☆~~~**

"Are you sure!?" The young blonde man asked, unable to hide his excitement, "I mean, are you **absolutely** positive!?"

The young brunette woman laughed, her caramel eyes shining as she spoke, "I'm positive! I went to the doctor today, and she confirmed it. You're going to be a daddy!"

Eric couldn't hide his happiness as he embraced his wife tightly, spinning her 'round and 'round as the tiny blonde watched from afar.

Feeling out of place, the little boy retreated to his room, leaving his foster parents alone to celebrate their good fortune.

"Johnny, you're going to be a big brother! Isn't that gre—" The words died in the young man's throat as he looked around the room for the missing little boy. "Huh? He must have gone straight to his room. We should go tell him right away! He'll be so excited!"

" **No** , Eric! He's not going to be a big brother. He's going back," Dani demanded, causing her young husband's eyes to go wide in shock.

"What the hell are you saying? Don't even joke about something like that!" Eric's voice was full of disbelief and anger.

"He has to go, Eric! I'm serious," the young woman explained, "There's absolutely no way that we can afford two kids, and you know it!"

"He's my son, Dani! I can't just let him go! He's my little dude. I love him," Eric argued, hoping his wife would see reason.

"Oh, please, Eric! Spare me the 'I love him' bullshit! We both know that if it wasn't for his ability on the ice, you would have sent him back a long time ago. He's not your son. Eric; he's your protégé," Dani scolded, determined for her husband to see things her way.

"How can you say that?" The young man whispered, genuinely hurt by his wife's careless words, "I've been with him every day for two fucking years! How can you say that he isn't my son? I might be hard on him, sure, but I love that goddamn kid! Don't you **dare** say that I don't love Johnny!"

"Fine! You love the little bastard! But guess what, Eric, he fucking **hates** you," Dani screamed in frustration, "And nothing is going to change that!"

His wife's words cut like a knife, but he knew deep down that she was partially right. Eric knew that the little boy disliked him, but he was also confident that his little Johnny would eventually come to understand why his foster father had pushed him so hard.

"I know…" Eric whispered, sadness prevalent in his voice, "I know he hates me, but one day he'll understand why I do what I do. I do it because I love him and don't want to see him hurt."

"Eric, honey," Dani spoke softly as she gently touched her husband's face, "I know that you really wanted to keep him, but let's be reasonable — there's just no way we can afford him. The cold, hard truth is that Johnny will never truly be your son. But this child," Dani took her husband's hand and gently placed it on her stomach, "This child will forever be your child. Do you understand, baby?"

"Are you absolutely certain that we can't make it work? What if I get another job?" Eric pleaded, hoping for a way to hold on to the tiny hockey player.

His wife sighed, "Eric, you already work way too much as it is," Dani replied, feeling sorry for her husband, "Even if we managed to keep him, you would have to kiss hockey goodbye. There would be no way we could afford it, and we both know that hockey is the only thing that makes that kid even remotely happy. So — if you really love Johnny — let him go. Let someone take him that can give him that. Because there's just no way that we can."

Eric considered her words carefully and decided, in the end, that she had the right of it. He knew there was no way they could keep Johnny on the ice with a newborn at home. With a sad heart, the young blonde finally relented.

"I'll tell him," Eric whispered with tears in his light-blue eyes, "But we're not sending him anywhere until his season is done. This is his last year in Novice class, and I won't do that to him. I want him to enjoy it. God knows he may never get the chance again."

"I can tell him," Dani offered, "It'll hurt less coming from me. We never got along much anyway."

"He's **my** responsibility, remember," Eric reminded his wife, his tone bitter, "He's my little dude, I'll tell him." The young man took in a deep breath, wiping the unshed tears from his eyes before making his way to his little dude's bedroom.

**~~~☆~~~**

Little Shepard had heard everything already, but still, he pretended to be asleep when his foster father slowly opened the door, knocking a bit to rouse the tiny boy.

"Hey, little dude, you asleep?" The young blonde asked as he made his way closer to the child's bed. "Daddy needs to talk to you for a minute."

The little blonde sat up in his bed, staring down at his tiny hands, afraid to look his foster father in the eye. "I already know," the tiny blonde whispered, "You don't have to say anything. I understand. It's okay."

Eric's eyes went wide as a tear escaped from his light-blue eyes. "I'm sorry, Johnny. I'm so sorry," the young man cried as he hugged the boy tightly to his chest. "I promised that I'd always be your dad. I let you down, little dude. I'm so sorry."

The tiny blonde was shocked by his foster father's tears, and, not knowing what else to do, he gently hugged the weeping man back.

"It's okay. Don't cry," the little boy pleaded. "I'll be alright."

Eric chuckled softly at the little blonde, pulling away to gently stroke his soft blonde hair. "You are an amazing kid. Do you know that? You sure make me proud."

"I'm really happy that you're gonna be a daddy. It'll make Dani really happy too," little Shepard smiled, trying to make the older blonde feel better.

"Yeah, thanks, little dude. We're really happy about it," Eric said as he rubbed the little boy's back gently. "I'm gonna miss the hell out of you, Johnny."

"When do I have to go?"

"Not for a while yet. At least not until after your tourney," Eric explained.

"That's good," little Shepard nodded, happy that he still had a little time.

Eric gently kissed the little blonde on the forehead before making his way to the door, turning back only to speak, "Look, Johnny, I know you probably hate me, and I know I deserve it. I wish I hadn't pushed you so goddamn hard, but I did it to help you. I hope you'll come to understand that one day, 'cause I really do love you, little dude. And I always will, okay," Eric explained, hoping that the tiny blonde would forgive him someday.

"I don't hate you," the little blonde called out, causing the blonde man to freeze in his tracks.

"You don't?"

The blue-eyed boy shook his head slowly before speaking, "I was mad at you, sure, but I never really hated you. You were nice enough. So, don't feel bad, okay. I'm happy that you let me play hockey. Really, I am."

The stunned young man stood, unmoving, for a few seconds, slowly processing what the tiny blonde had said, before breaking out into a huge smile. "I'm glad, little dude. Try to get some sleep, okay. Goodnight, Johnny."

"Goodnight," the boy replied as he turned on his side and closed his blue eyes.

_'So, they're sending you away, huh? Seriously, though, aren't we happy about this?'_ The voice asked, unsure of how the little boy should feel about the sudden news. 

'I'm okay with it, I guess,' Shepard thought to himself as he contemplated the situation. 'I never really liked it here. But I **did** get to play hockey, and I got to meet Aaron. So, it wasn't **all** bad.'

_'Yeah, about Aaron…"_ The voice explained slowly, _'You do realize that you'll probably never see him again once you go back. You've considered that, right?'_

The little blonde began to sob at the very thought of never seeing his beautiful green-eyed friend again.

_'Aw… don't cry, Shepard! I'm sure you'll see him again,'_ the voice said, trying to calm the little boy down. _'So, don't cry anymore, eh.'_

"Do you really think I will?" The little boy asked aloud, sniffling as he spoke.

_'Sure, I'm sure. He doesn't seem the type to just let you go,'_ the voice assured him. _'After all, aren't you 'his J'?'_

The little boy nodded, wiping the tears from his sapphire-blue eyes, "Yep, I'm always gonna be his J."

_'Good! Now that that's settled_ — _get some sleep!'_ The voice demanded, causing little Shepard to giggle as he slowly drifted off to sleep.

**~~~☆~~~**

"J! What did you think of the game?" The green-eyed boy smiled as he called for the little boy to come to his side. 

"It was great! You were awesome," the little blonde praised as he hugged the older boy tightly. "You even made a goal with that trick shot!"

"That goal was for you, J," Aaron grinned as he searched his bag for something. "Here you go — the game-winning puck. I put the date and everything on it. I thought it would be a nice souvenir for you, yeah."

"I love it, Aaron! Thank you," the little blonde squealed as he held the puck tightly to his chest. "I'll keep it forever!"

"Hey, Aaron," a tall boy with long brown hair and light-grey eyes yelled, trying to get the green-eyed boy's attention, "You going out to eat with us or what?"

"Yeah, just gimme a minute," Aaron explained as he took Shepard by the hand, "You're coming to eat with us. And no trying to get out of it! I already asked Eric, and he said it was cool."

"But I don't know nobody," the little blonde whispered, shying away from the crowd while trying desperately to hide behind his older friend.

Aaron chuckled at his little friend, "I know you don't, J. That's kinda the point. I'm gonna introduce you, eh."

"What if they don't like me, Aaron?"

"Then we'll just leave," Aaron promised, taking the little boy's hand. "I'm right here, J. No one is going to hurt you. I'll make sure of it."

"Yo, Aaron! Hurry up, dude," the tall boy said, eager to get going.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm coming, Ryan," the green-eyed boy grinned as he made his way towards the group with his J in tow.

"Who's the little guy," Ryan asked as he tousled Shepard's soft blonde hair.

"Stop it!" Shepard growled as he shoved the older boy away.

"Whoa! Feisty little thing, isn't he," Ryan laughed, his grey eyes glittering in amusement.

"He doesn't like being touched, so just lay off, yeah," Aaron warned, pulling the tiny blonde closer to him.

"Okay, Baby Boy, I won't do it again," Ryan promised with a grin. "So, are you going to introduce us or what?"

Aaron grinned, shaking his head in amusement, "Ryan, this is J, but you can call him Shepard. J, this is Ryan Walker. He's a great hockey player and an even better friend."

"Hi," Shepard said, slightly waving as he spoke.

"Hi, little guy," Ryan grinned as he waved back at the tiny blonde before turning his attention back to his green-eyed friend. "Elias and Greg are coming, along with Shayna, Maddie, and Elise."

"Yeah. Sounds good," Aaron nodded. "What about Ava? She promised me that she'd be here, but I haven't seen her all day."

"Yeah, your little girlfriend's here. She's hanging out with the girls," Ryan informed the green-eyed boy with a teasing chuckle.

"She's not my girlfriend, not yet anyway," Aaron grinned, causing the little boy beside him to frown.

"The girls are all riding with Elise's mom," the tall boy explained, "Elias and Greg are riding with Greg's dad. So, I guess I'll be riding with you and the shrimp."

"Goddammit! Stop calling me little!" Shepard yelled, causing the grey-eyed boy to burst out laughing.

"Does he always curse like that?" Ryan asked, clearly amused by the tiny boy.

"Pretty much," Aaron smirked, "He doesn't really have a filter."

"I can see why you like this kid, Aaron," Ryan laughed as he held the door open for the two boys, "After you, gentlemen."

**~~~☆~~~**

Once at the restaurant, all the kids gathered in the largest booth they could find, with the girls on one side of the booth, and the boys on the other. Seeing there was no room for Shepard, Aaron promptly scooped the tiny boy up and placed him on his lap.

"Aaron, I didn't know you had a little brother," Ava, a tall Black girl with dark-hazel eyes and long, shiny dark-black hair, mused as she smiled at the little blonde. "He's adorable!"

"He doesn't have a little brother," Ryan replied, shaking his head slightly as he spoke, "This is Aaron's little protégé."

"Oh, so this is the little hockey prodigy that you won't shut up about," Elias teased, "He don't look like much to me."

"Shut the hell up, Elias," Aaron warned, "My J has more talent in his little pinky than you do in your whole goddamn body!"

Elias Kellam was a twelve-year-old hockey brat with the attitude to match. He was an average-sized boy with medium length brown hair and brown eyes, and even though Aaron had considered Elias to be one of his oldest friends, the green-eyed boy was never quite able to get along with the boy for more than ten minutes at a time. 

"Yeah, right," Elias snorted as he rolled his eyes at the tiny blonde. "Whatever you say, Hayes."

"Gentlemen, can we please not fight," Greg said as he took a sip of his drink. 

Greg Gagnon was a twelve-year-old, peace-loving guy who was of average height — just a bit taller than Elias, with shaggy blonde hair and dark-green eyes. Eyes eerily similar in colour to the young girl sitting across from him. The only real difference between the two was their hair. Where Greg's blonde hair was shaggy, Shayna's was long and wavy. 

"They look a lot alike," the younger boy mused, his tiny blonde head cocked to the side as he spoke.

Shayna broke out laughing. "Good eye, little guy. We're actually twins. Not a lot of people notice, though."

"J is very observant," Aaron informed her with a grin.

"How old is he," Maddie, a short girl with honey-blonde hair and light-blue-green eyes, asked as she waved at the tiny blonde.

"He's eight," Aaron answered as he offered his little friend a french fry.

"He's awfully small for an eight-year-old, isn't he," the blonde girl said.

"He's actually grown quite a bit lately," Aaron explained, "Right, J?"

"Yeah. I'm way taller than I was," Shepard answered proudly.

"Jeez, how little were you before," Elise asked, laughing as she spoke. "You must have looked like a freaking four-year-old."

Elise Smith was a twelve-year-old with mousy-brown hair and light-blue eyes. By the way that she carried herself, Shepard could tell that she came from money. The girl practically reeked of privilege. She was the 'queen bee' of the group for sure.

"I'm not always gonna be this little," little Shepard said as he narrowed his sapphire-blue eyes at the girl.

"I don't know, shorty," Elise teased, "If you don't start growing soon, you may never grow."

"So, how did you guys like the game?" Aaron asked, quickly changing the subject before his J got even angrier.

"You were great, Aaron," Ava blushed as she gently placed her hand atop his.

_'I think I may be sick,'_ the voice announced, and Shepard had to agree.

"Thanks," Aaron grinned, trying his best to flirt with the dark-haired girl, "I was really glad you came, yeah."

Shepard, not liking where the conversation was headed, decided to jump down from Aaron's lap.

"Where are you going, Baby Boy?" Ryan asked.

"I gotta pee. You got a problem with that," the little blonde snapped as he made his way to the washroom.

"I should go with him," Aaron said as he rose to his feet.

"Why? You gotta hold it for him or something," Elias teased.

"Shut the fuck up! I swear, Elias, you have got to be the biggest asshole in all of Vancouver," Aaron snapped as he made his way to the washroom.

Aaron found his little friend sitting alone on the floor next to the hand dryer.

"I thought you had to pee," Aaron said as he took a seat on the floor beside the little boy.

"I wanna go home," Shepard replied softly, "I'm just in the way here."

"That's not true, J," Aaron insisted.

"Yes, it is! I know it is."

" _Sigh—_ Are you tired, J? Is that what it is?" Aaron asked, knowing how agitated the young boy could get when he was tired.

The tiny blonde just shook his head slowly. "I just don't wanna be here no more."

"Okay, J. You win. I'll get my dad, and we'll go," Aaron agreed as he kissed the tiny blonde on the forehead.

" **No** ," the little boy demanded. "You can stay here — just call Eric, and he can come get me."

"Are you sure? My dad and I can take you home," Aaron offered, "It's not a problem, J."

"I'm sure."

"Alright," the green-eyed boy agreed as they got up and made their way to Aaron's dad.

**~~~☆~~~**

"Dad, can you call Eric and have him come and pick up J?" Aaron asked.

"Sure," Andrew replied as he ran a hand through the little blonde's hair, "Are you not feeling well, J?"

"Not really, no," Shepard admitted, "I just wanna go home."

"Okay, I'll call," Andrew promised as he took out his cell phone and began dialing the number.

"You're not getting sick, are you, J?" Aaron asked, obviously concerned for his little friend. 

"No," Shepard replied in a low tone, "I don't think so."

"That's good," Aaron smiled.

"Aaron, will you come to my tournament next weekend?" The little blonde asked shyly.

"Of course," Aaron promised, "I wouldn't miss it, J!"

"Thank you," little Shepard whispered.

"Your dad's on his way, J," Andrew assured the tiny blonde. "You can go back inside with Aaron, and I'll let you know when Eric arrives."

"No, I'll just stay out here," the little blonde insisted.

"Okay," Aaron said as he hugged his tiny friend tight, "You let me know if you're not feeling well tomorrow, huh, J."

"I will," the younger boy promised as Aaron made his way back inside.

**~~~☆~~~**

**A week later —**

"Watch him go, Dad," Aaron grinned as he watched his J score yet another goal. "I can't wait to see him on full-court ice!"

"It'll be something to watch," the elder Hayes agreed as he continued clapping loudly for the young blonde. "I'll bet Eric's ecstatic."

"No doubt about that," the green-eyed boy replied, "He's obsessed, yeah."

"He is dedicated," Andrew chuckled.

"Go, J!" Aaron yelled in support of his favourite little hockey player.

"Is it just me, or is he getting even better?" Andrew asked, nudging his son on the arm.

"Oh, he's definitely getting better," Aaron agreed with a wide grin.

**~~~☆~~~**

When the game was over, the awards were handed out. The cup was awarded to Shepard's team, just as Aaron had predicted, and most of the individual awards went to little Shepard himself. The most impressive ones being, the MVP and highest scorer awards.

Eric was absolutely beaming, and Aaron couldn't have been any prouder of his little J.

Once the awards were finished, little Shepard skated directly to Aaron, who was standing on the ice with his arms wide open awaiting the tiny blonde.

"That's my J," Aaron announced, proudly, as he hugged the little boy tighter, "I'm so proud of you, yeah!"

"I didn't fuck up," the little boy exclaimed, causing Aaron to break out into laughter. 

"Nope, you sure didn't," Aaron grinned, "You did great, J!"

"I bought you something," the little blonde informed his green-eyed friend. "Here." Shepard handed the gift to Aaron with a smile on his tiny face. "I hope you like it. It's Finn!"

The green-eyed boy held the tiny keychain up to get a better look. It was a Canucks keychain with Finn the mascot as its main focus.

"I love it, J! I'll cherish it forever," Aaron promised as he hugged the little boy tight.

"Do you want one of my medals?" The tiny blonde asked as he showed them to the older boy.

"No, you keep your medals, J," Aaron smiled, "One day, you can put them in a trophy case like the one I have, eh."

The little boy looked sad for a moment but was quickly smiling again. "Okay, but I gave Eric a few of them."

Aaron laughed, "I guess that's okay. Hey, J! Want me to show you how to check?"

"Yeah!" The tiny blonde couldn't hide his excitement at the offer.

"Okay, just give me a few minutes to get my skates on," Aaron grinned as he made his way off the ice and to a nearby bench where his dad was waiting.

"So, that's why you brought your skates," Andrew chuckled as he watched his son lace up his skates.

"I had a feeling that J would wanna skate some more," Aaron shrugged as he finished with his skates.

"You know him pretty well," Andrew grinned.

"Well, yeah. He's my J, after all," Aaron chuckled as he made his way onto the ice.

Andrew looked out towards the rink, smiling as he watched his boys playing on the ice. "What a pair you two make," the elder Hayes mused.

"Johnny, I hate to rush you, little dude," Eric yelled, trying to get his foster son's attention, "But we've really got to be going."

Shepard's smile turned sad, causing Aaron to rub his back gently.

"It's okay, J. We can skate next weekend, yeah," Aaron promised, not knowing that this was his J's last day with the Stevensons.

"No, Aaron. We really can't," the little blonde whispered as he took the older boy by the hand.

"Well, if you can't skate next weekend, then we'll just have to do it the week after, eh." Aaron smiled, trying his best to comfort the little boy.

Once they were off the ice and all the gear was packed away, the boys made their way to where their fathers stood.

"Time to go, Johnny," Eric said with a sad look in his eyes that made Andrew more than a little uneasy.

The little boy turned towards Aaron and hugged the green-eyed boy tighter than he ever had before.

"Thank you for everything, Aaron," the little boy's voice, barely a whisper, "I love you."

"I love you too, J," Aaron said as he kissed the little boy on the forehead. 

"Ready to go, little dude," Eric asked as he took the little boy by the hand, and led him to the exit.

"I'll see you soon, J," Aaron yelled out, causing the tiny blonde to turn his head. The blue-eyed boy's eyes were full of sadness and his smile, even sadder, and it made Aaron's heart hurt.

"Is something wrong with, J," Aaron asked his father, unsure as to why he felt — and was still feeling — such a strong sense of dread when he looked at the boy.

"You felt it too?" Andrew asked, placing an arm around his young son. "I'm not sure. It's probably nothing. He's probably just tired. You know how he gets. No need to worry, eh."

"Y-yeah, okay," Aaron whispered as they made their way out of the building.

**~~~☆~~~**

**Two weeks later —**

**_KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK—_ **

The green-eyed boy continued to knock on the door of the Stevenson's, knocking harder each time — refusing to leave until someone answered the door. 

**_KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK—_ **

"Jesus, will you give me a second!"

Aaron could hear Shepard's foster mother complaining from behind the locked door.

"Can I help you!?" Dani shouted, obviously irritated with the young boy standing before her.

"Yeah, I'm sorry to disturb you. I'm just here to see J… I mean Johnny. I'm here to see Johnny. Is he here?" Aaron asked, trying to peek inside for a glimpse of his tiny friend.

"Johnny doesn't live here anymore," Dani replied.

"I don't understand. Is he with Eric? Did you guys separate or something?" Aaron asked, obviously confused by the woman's answer.

"Of course not," the woman scoffed as she explained, "We had to give the little bastard back. We're having a **real** baby, you know, one of our own **.** "

"I don't understand," the green-eyed boy replied, growing angrier at the woman by the second. "You gave him back? Back to who?"

"You know, back to the foster-place. I don't know how to explain it, honestly," Dani replied halfheartedly, "Look, I don't know where they took him, but he isn't here."

"So, what, you just threw him away!? Like he was a piece of trash," Aaron screamed, raging at the woman before him, "How could you!? He's my friend! How could you do that to him!? He's a person, goddammit!"

Dani was quickly growing tired of the boy's accusatory tone. "Don't you fucking judge me, you goddamn brat! You have no idea what the fuck you're talking about. You come here to **my** home and then have the gall to insult me! Get the fuck off my property before I call the police!"

"With pleasure, you fucking cunt!" Aaron yelled as he threw a rock at the now-closed door.

By then, Aaron's father had made his way from the car — the sound of arguing, loud enough to catch his attention.

"Aaron, what's wrong?" The elder Hayes asked, his voice full of concern when he saw the tears in his young son's pale-green eyes.

"They threw him away, Dad," Aaron screamed, tears running down his face like a river, "He's gone, Dad! My J's gone, and there's nothing I can do about it!"

" _Sigh—_ I'm so sorry, Son," Andrew whispered as he took his son into his arms. "I'm so sorry — just let it out… let it all out. I'm here, Son. I got you."

And Aaron cried— 

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things will really start to pick up from here on out. I hope you stick around until the end.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Suggestions are always welcome.


	7. Too Good to Be True

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard gets a new home, but some things are too good to be true...
> 
> **WARNING!!! This chapter contains non-graphic rape. Please use caution when reading!**

In the three years since Shepard's return to the foster system, the blue-eyed boy had changed considerably — growing in both height and muscle. His soft golden hair had turned to a darker shade of blonde, and his sapphire-blue eyes had become sharp and cold, making the ten-year-old appear much older than he truly was.

"Shepard, have you been fighting again?" A short Asian man with greying hair and dark-brown eyes asked as he pulled the boy aside, "We've been over this. You **cannot** attack the other kids! You know that. So, tell me, why the hell do you keep doing this?"

The blue-eyed boy just shrugged, turning his gaze to the side.

"Shepard, answer me, please," the older man pleaded, "I know you can speak. I need you to tell me what this was all about. Did Logan say something to you? Did he do something to anger you?"

"He needs to stay away from my stuff," Shepard mumbled, still trying his best to avoid the older man's gaze.

"What?" The older man asked, unable to understand the young boy's words, "You have to speak up, Shepard. You know I can't hear you when you mumble."

The blue-eyed boy sighed heavily as he finally turned his gaze towards the older man. "I said, 'He needs to stay away from my stuff.'."

" _Sigh—_ Is Logan trying to steal your things again? What am I going to do with that boy?" The older man asked, pinching the bridge of his nose as he spoke.

"Yeah," Shepard replied, "I warned him, Mr. Lee. I told him that if he ever tried to steal my stuff again that I was gonna kick his ass. He tried, and he got his ass kicked. Simple."

"Simple? Shepard, you broke his nose," the older man scolded, "Don't you think that was going a little too far?"

"It was one punch! I can't help it if he's a fucking pussy that can't take one goddamn hit," Shepard argued, "Besides, I owed him for last time."

"Shepard, please watch your language. I understand that you don't have a filter, but, please, at least **try** to hold your tongue," Mr. Lee begged the blue-eyed boy. "And as far as the 'last time' goes, both he and his brother were punished for that."

"They broke my fucking arm," Shepard reminded, "And for no reason! I never said a fucking word to them, and they just attacked me for being— weird. Well, fuck them! At least I warned the little bastard first."

"Shepard, calm down," the older man said as he gently rubbed the young boy's back. "You're getting upset and letting your anger get the best of you."

"I can't help it," Shepard admitted, "I know I'm in trouble, so just tell me my punishment, and I'll try harder next time."

"If that's the way you want it," Mr. Lee agreed, handing the boy a list of chores, "As punishment, you are to complete these tasks as well as your usual chores. Do you understand, Shepard?"

"I have to make the beds," Shepard asked, brow cocked in disbelief, "Seriously? Do I really have to do this? Isn't the rule, 'you make your own bed, no exceptions'?"

"Yes, that is the rule," the older man nodded as he explained things to the blue-eyed boy, "That's what makes it a punishment? It's something that you normally wouldn't have to do."

"That makes no sense," Shepard argued, chuckling a bit at the older man, "I mean, I get that I'll be punished, but won't that mean a reward for everybody else? That just don't seem very fair to me."

"Well, life ain't fair," Mr. Lee chuckled, slapping Shepard softly on the back. 

"Ain't that the truth," Shepard whispered as he turned to start his chores.

"Don't forget the laundry and the dishes after dinner," Mr. Lee reminded the young boy. "Come and see me once your chores are done."

Shepard just nodded, rolling his sapphire eyes as he went.

**~~~☆~~~**

_'This sucks! Why should you be punished? All you did was defend your property. This is an outrage,'_ the voice complained, loudly, as Shepard continued on with his chores.

"Yep, but it was my own damn fault," Shepard admitted, "I knew better than to hit the little shit, but I did it anyway."

_'But you_ **_warned_ ** _the little fuck. Doesn't that count for something? Besides, they broke your arm,'_ the voice reminded, _'Payback's a bitch, and she came for the little bastard. Simple!'_

"Agreed," Shepard chuckled as he continued to fold the freshly washed sheets, "But, I broke the rules. Their house, their rules, remember?"

_'You and that dumbass way of thinking. I swear something is wrong with you!'_

"Well, I'm talking to you," Shepard laughed, "So, yeah. I must be fucking insane! That's what they say, right?"

"Are you talking to yourself again, faggot," an older boy with mousy-brown hair, and light brownish-green eyes, spoke, startling the ten-year-old.

_'Not this jackass! Dammit, why were you talking aloud? You know how people are around here,'_ the voice scolded.

Shepard furrowed his brow, upset with himself for his lack of caution. "What do you care? I ain't bothering nobody."

The older boy laughed, before grabbing the younger boy roughly by the shirt, shoving him up against the wall. "Maybe it's bothering me, you ever think of that? Your 'crazy' makes me uncomfortable — makes me want to beat the crazy right outta you. Besides, I owe you for breaking my little bro's nose."

"I warned the little fucker to stay out of my stuff," Shepard growled as he struggled against the older boy's grip, "He didn't listen, that ain't my fault!"

The older boy punched Shepard hard in the face. "Shut up, you little faggot!"

"I swear to god Kurt, if you hit me one more time, I am gonna fucking end you," the blue-eyed boy warned, anger flaring as he spoke.

_'Are you sure you can take him? He's like fourteen, and a hell of a lot bigger than you,'_ the voice warned.

'I can take him,' Shepard assured the worried voice. 'He's a pussy. He can't win one-on-one. I got this.'

The older boy chuckled, before punching the smaller boy twice more, splitting the young blonde boy's lip in the process. "That's what you get, faggot!"

Shepard immediately spit blood in the older boy's face before kneeing him hard between the legs, causing the older boy to crumple to the floor in pain.

Once the older boy was down, Shepard began kicking the boy viciously. Unable to stop himself until the house director, Mr. Lee, grabbed him firmly from behind, carrying the angry blonde, kicking and screaming, out of the room and far away from the wounded older boy.

"Shepard, stop!" Mr. Lee demanded as he held the boy tight, refusing to let go until he calmed down. "You need to calm down!"

"Fuck you! He attacked me first," Shepard screamed, still kicking against the older man. 

"I understand that, but you need to calm down," the older man pleaded. "If you don't calm down, I'll have to call the doctor again. Is that what you want?"

Shepard froze at the word – **doctor**.

"There you go," Mr. Lee said as he loosened his grip on the rowdy ten-year-old. "Calm down. Just calm down and talk to me."

"I already told you," Shepard replied, heart still racing from the adrenaline, "He hit me, so I defended myself."

"Okay, but **why** did he hit you?"

"I don't know," Shepard shrugged. "Maybe 'cause I beat his little brother's ass or maybe 'cause I'm—" Shepard cut his words short, unwilling to talk about it.

"Because you're what?" The older man asked, wanting to get to the bottom of this mess once and for all.

"Nothing… It was just because of his brother. That's all."

"Are you sure there isn't something else? Something you want to tell me, maybe?" Mr. Lee insisted, knowing just how stubborn Shepard could be.

Shepard clenched his jaw. "Nothing."

Mr. Lee sighed, "You are such a stubborn boy! You know you might have really hurt Kurt? He will most likely need medical attention. How do you feel about that?"

"Good. He fucking deserves it! He wasn't too broken up about my goddamn arm, was he?" Shepard reminded the older man.

"Shepard, you can't keep getting into fights," Mr. Lee explained, "It makes it very difficult to find a placement for you. Don't you want to be placed?"

Shepard chewed his tender bottom lip before answering, "I guess I do."

"Then you need to do better," the older man lectured, "You need to control your anger a bit more. Do you understand?"

"So, you want me to let them beat me up without defending myself?" Shepard asked, a confused look on his face. "Yeah, that ain't fucking happening!"

"That isn't what I'm saying," Mr. Lee explained, "Defending yourself is fine, but you need to know when to stop. Once Kurt was on the ground, you should have stepped away and reported the incident to me. Understand?"

"I understand," the young blonde replied, nodding his head for emphasis.

"It's a good thing I was on my way to talk to you or Kurt might have been in much worse condition." 

"You were on your way to talk to me? Why?"

"I **might** have found a placement for you," the older man informed the blonde with a smile, "He lives close by, and I think he'll be a good fit for you."

"He?" The young blonde asked in confusion.

Mr. Lee chuckled, "Yes, **HE**. Men can become foster parents too, you know."

"Okay…" Shepard nodded.

"He's thirty-four, lives alone, and works at a real estate agency," the older man said, hoping to sway the young boy's opinion.

_'Yawn…. BORING!'_ The voice replied, and the young blonde agreed wholeheartedly.

Shepard rolled his eyes in boredom. "So, he has a job. That's like a requirement for all of 'em, right?"

"Well, yes." The older man shrugged, "But you didn't let me finish! He also lives near the skating rink."

_'Now we're talking!'_

"Yeah," Shepard said, blue eyes lighting up at the very thought of being on the ice.

"Indeed," the older man grinned, knowing he had sold the idea of the new placement to the young man. "He can be here tomorrow if you're willing to try."

"Why ask me?" The ten-year-old asked, knowing full well that his permission was not needed. "It don't really matter what I think."

"I suppose that's true, in a way," Mr. Lee agreed as he explained the situation, "But with your temperament, I thought it would be best to avoid angering you on placement day. I thought that if you agreed, then you would be fine with the placement — no one gets angry, and it's a win-win. So, are you willing to try this home or not?"

_'When was the last time we even got close to the ice for longer than fifteen minutes at a time?'_ The voice demanded, _'Say_ **_yes_** _, you fucking moron!'_

"Sure, I'll try it," Shepard agreed, eager for the chance to skate again.

"Excellent! I'll call him back and let him know," the older man smiled, happy to have finally found a placement for the blue-eyed boy. "Go ahead and get your things ready for tomorrow."

Shepard nodded as he headed to the room he shared with the other boys his age.

"I won't miss this place. That's for sure," Shepard whispered as he collected his meager belongings, placing them carefully in his black pack — pausing when he came to the souvenir puck that was given to him so long ago. 

Shepard slowly picked it up — treating it as if it were some priceless treasure. Shepard smiled fondly at the memory before whispering softly, "I miss you, Aaron."

_'Are you still thinking about him? It's been almost three fucking years. Do you really think he remembers you?'_

'Aaron wouldn't forget me — I'm 'his J'! There's no way he'd forget me. So, shut the fuck up!' Shepard snapped silently at the voice as he finished packing his bag, eager to, finally, be free of the place. "Tomorrow can't come soon enough…"

**~~~☆~~~**

**The next day —**

"Mr. Friesen, welcome," Mr. Lee greeted, shaking the gentleman's hand firmly as he spoke, "Shepard will be here shortly."

"Shepard? I thought his name was Johnny," the young man chuckled.

"Ah, yes," the older man said, "That is indeed his name. I'm sure he'll be fine being called by either name. He's a very accommodating young man."

"Is he now," Mr. Friesen replied, a big smile crossing his face, "Good to know. I'm glad he's not going to be too difficult. I was actually worried about that. I'd rather there not be any unnecessary friction between us."

"Oh, he's very well-behaved," the older man nervously laughed as he spoke.

"Is that him," The young man asked, nodding in the young blonde's direction. "He's a very handsome young man."

"Ah, yes, this is indeed Mr. Shepard," Mr. Lee announced, placing a hand on the young boy's shoulder. "Shepard, this is Mr. Robert Friesen. He'll be your new foster father. Mr. Friesen, this young man is John Shepard, your new foster son."

"Nice to meet you, Johnny," Robert smiled as he offered his hand to the young boy.

Shepard cautiously took the man's hand and shook it firmly. "You too."

Robert Friesen was a good-looking man with medium-brown hair, a well-trimmed goatee, and warm chocolate-brown eyes. He seemed nice enough, Shepard figured.

"Are you ready to see your new home?" The young man asked, smiling at the blue-eyed boy.

"I guess," Shepard answered, eager to be anywhere else.

"Let's go then," Robert chuckled, placing an arm around the young boy, causing the boy to flinch. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, I just don't like being touched much. Sorry," Shepard explained, hoping the older man would understand and keep his distance.

"Oh, I understand, but I am a bit affectionate. So, please forgive me if I accidentally make you uncomfortable — I mean you no harm."

The blue-eyed boy nodded, not wanting the man to feel bad, "Okay. No worries."

"We'll be on our way then," Robert announced as he said his farewells to the director before leading the young boy to the waiting car.

**~~~☆~~~**

**The drive home —**

"Do you really live near the rink?" The blue-eyed boy asked, eager to hear the answer.

The brunette man chuckled, amused by the young blonde's question. "Yes, I certainly do. Why? Do you like to skate?"

"Yeah. I love it," Shepard admitted truthfully, "I'm actually a pretty decent hockey player."

"I see," Robert said, never taking his eyes off the road. "I used to play a bit when I was younger. I played forward, left-wing. What position do you play, Johnny?"

"Forward, centre," the young boy answered simply.

"That's good. Which hand do you play, right-handed or southpaw?" The older man questioned, wanting to get to know the boy a little more.

"Both actually," Shepard answered, "I'm ambidextrous, but I use my left for power shots."

"Are you truly ambidextrous?" Robert inquired, "Can you write with both?"

"Yep," the blue-eyed boy replied, surprising the older man with the answer. "It came in real handy when I broke my arm."

"Not many people can say that they're truly ambidextrous. You must be a very special boy," Robert winked, grinning at the young boy.

"I don't know about that," Shepard snorted, turning his head to look out the window.

"You said that you broke your arm," the older man repeated, remembering what the young man had said earlier.

"Yeah, about six months ago," Shepard shrugged, "It's fine now. Nothing to worry about."

"May I ask how you broke it?"

"I broke it in a fight," Shepard admitted.

"Do you fight often?" The older man asked, hoping that he hadn't taken in a troublemaker.

Shepard shrugged, unsure of how to answer. "I guess, but I don't start shit if that's what you're asking."

"I understand, I think," Robert nodded as he turned into the parking lot of the nearby ice rink.

"Why'd you stop here?" The young blonde asked curiously.

"You have me curious," the older man admitted, "I think I'd like to watch you skate. How about a little one-on-one shootout?"

_'Is this guy for real!? He's like a dream_ — _something ain't right here. We ain't ever this lucky,'_ The voice warned.

'I'll take that chance! This is too good to pass up!' Shepard thought to himself before speaking aloud. "Hell, yes! That sounds great!"

The older man chuckled, "A kid after my own heart! Let's head in."

"What about gear?" Shepard asked with a cocked brow.

"I always keep my hockey bag in the trunk. We can just rent you a pair of skates for now. We'll get you some real gear tomorrow," Robert promised with a wink.

"For real? T-thank you," the young blonde said in appreciative wonder. 

"No problem," the older man chuckled as he led Shepard into the building.

The two spent over an hour, on the ice, playing hockey and just getting to know one another. Shepard couldn't believe his good fortune. His new foster father seemed absolutely perfect — even offering to take the young boy skating every weekend. But some things are just too good to be true.

**~~~☆~~~**

The next five months went great. Shepard had been attending public school instead of his usual homeschooling, and so far, the blue-eyed boy had enjoyed it. And while he hadn't exactly made friends — he certainly hadn't made any enemies, for Shepard that was a huge win. Things at home had been great as well. All in all, things had definitely become better for the young blonde.

"Have you thought about what to do for your birthday," Robert asked while eating his dinner.

"What do you mean?" Shepard asked as he took a bite of his food, confused by the question.

The older man laughed slightly, "What do you mean, what do I mean? Haven't you ever celebrated your birthday?"

"No," the young boy answered truthfully, "Never had a reason to, I guess."

"Well, this year, we are going to celebrate," Robert announced, "So, what do you want to do on April the 11th?"

The blue-eyed boy smiled, shaking his head in an amused manner, "I don't know — hockey, maybe."

The older man broke out laughing. "Hockey! I should have known. Hockey, it is," Robert promised as he collected the dishes from the table.

"I can help," Shepard offered as he rose from the table.

"No, I can do it. It's just loading the dishwasher after all," the older man assured him, as he motioned him out of the room. "Go take a shower and get ready for bed."

"Alright," the blonde boy grinned as he made his way to his room.

**~~~☆~~~**

After a quick shower, the young blonde returned to his room to change into his night-clothes. He was in the middle of putting on his pants when he heard the bedroom door open.

"Johnny, you left your—" Robert immediately froze as he took in the sight of the half naked-boy.

Feeling uncomfortable under the scrutiny, the young blonde, immediately, pulled a t-shirt over his head, "Do you need something," Shepard asked in an uneasy tone.

"Oh," the older man finally found his words, "You left your notebook. You'll probably need it tomorrow."

"O-oh, okay," the young blonde said as he reached out for the notebook.

Once the young boy took hold of the notebook, the older man pulled him into a very awkward hug, gripping the boy so tight that it was painful. "You know you're beautiful, right? So very beautiful," Robert whispered, causing the young boy to tense up.

"T-thank you," the blue-eyed boy stuttered nervously, growing ever more anxious and uncomfortable by the second.

The older man kissed the boy gently on the mouth. "Such soft, supple lips. You really are something."

"I-I really need to get some sleep," Shepard replied as he gently pushed the man away.

"Of course," the older man chuckled as he finally let the boy go. "I'll call ahead and reserve some ice time for us. Does that sound good to you?"

"That's fine," Shepard whispered, hoping that the man would leave soon.

"Goodnight, Johnny. Pleasant dreams," Robert said as he slowly closed the door.

The young blonde let out a breath that he hadn't realized he was holding. Shaking nervously, he paced his room in apprehension. "What the fuck was that? That was **not** normal, right?"

_'Hell no! That was anything but 'normal'! That was just plain creepy!'_

"What do I do?" The young blonde asked with tears in his eyes.

_'Maybe he was just acting overly affectionate, and nothing else will come of it...'_

"Maybe — but what if he does it again? I don't know what to do!"

_'Is he not your type, gay-boy?'_

"I'm serious! Don't tease me right now! Please, I need your help!" Shepard begged as the tears finally broke free.

_' **Sigh—**_ _I don't know. I wish I did, but I don't. Look, kid, I'll do all I can. Now try to calm down before you hyperventilate.'_

"I wish I could talk to Aaron," the young blonde whispered as he dried the tears from his sapphire eyes. "He'd know what to do."

_'Yeah, kid. I wish he were here too. I really do.'_

**~~~☆~~~**

The next few days came and went without incident. And Shepard had begun to believe that it had indeed been a one-time thing. That is — until Saturday came.

"Are you ready to go play some hockey, birthday boy," the older man asked, hugging the boy tightly by the shoulders.

"Yeah, I guess," Shepard answered in an uneasy tone.

"Let's get going then," Robert chuckled as they made their way to the car.

**~~~☆~~~**

Once they were at the rink, Shepard immediately made his way towards the locker room — hearing a familiar laugh, the young blonde quickly turned his head, "Aaron?"

Upon hearing his name, the green-eyed boy immediately sought out the speaker. As soon as pale green met sapphire blue, Aaron knew, without a doubt, that it was his J.

"J! It's really you," Aaron exclaimed as he ran to the younger boy, picking him up and hugging him tightly. "I've missed you so much! How have you been, eh!?"

"Aaron, I missed you too," Shepard said, his blue eyes shining with happiness, "It's been so long. I'm good, I guess."

"Damn, J! Look how you've grown," the green-eyed boy mused, "You're not my 'little J' anymore."

Shepard's brow furrowed in disappointment. "But I'm still your J, right? Even if I'm not so little anymore?"

Aaron rolled his eyes at the young blonde, "Of course you are — you know that! There's so much I wanna know! I can't wait to talk to you some more."

The young blonde cocked his head to the side as he just stared at the green-eyed boy.

"What? What is it, J? Is there something on my face?" Aaron asked curiously.

"Aaron, what the fuck did you do to your goddamn ears?" 

Aaron broke out laughing at the young boy, "God, I missed that foul mouth of yours, J! Anyway, I pierced them."

Shepard shook his head, vehemently, "That ain't a piercing, Aaron. It's a goddamn **hole**."

Aaron's laughter continued. "They're called gauges, J. And these ones are considered to be small compared to most. I was thinking of going bigger."

"Don't." The young blonde insisted.

"Alright, alright. I'll keep them small," Aaron laughed as he let the blonde have his way. "Do they really look that bad, J?"

Shepard considered the question carefully and decided that, no, they didn't look bad at all.

"No. Not really," the young blonde answered with a grin.

"So, you got a girlfriend yet?" Aaron teased, hoping to make the younger boy blush.

"Uh, no," Shepard said with a frown.

"Why not? I'll bet all the girls love you," Aaron grinned, confident in his assumption.

"I don't… I don't really like g—" Shepard's words were cut short by a boy that Shepard recognized as Ryan Walker.

"Yo, Aaron," Ryan yelled, trying desperately to get his green-eyed friend's attention. "We gotta go! My dad has an appointment that he has to get to!"

"Fuck," Aaron cursed as he looked around for a pen and a piece of paper. "Here's my cell phone number. Call me whenever you get the chance, okay. I don't wanna lose you again, yeah," Aaron explained as he kissed the young blonde on the forehead. "I'll talk to you soon, J."

"Okay, I'll try to call soon," Shepard promised, smiling brightly at his friend. "Goodbye, Aaron!"

"Oh, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, J!" Aaron yelled back just before disappearing behind the exit.

"Best birthday present ever!" Shepard exclaimed in absolute joy.

_'I never thought I'd ever see that bastard again. He looks good, though…'_

'Hell, yes, he does!' Shepard agreed. 'He even remembered my birthday.'

_'That_ **_was_ ** _kind of impressive. So, are you going to call him?'_

'Of course. I just don't know when exactly.' 

"Hey, Johnny," Robert called out, shaking Shepard from his reverie, "Are you ready to hit the ice?"

"Yep — just give me a few minutes to get changed," the young blonde answered, far too happy to be worried about anything.

"Don't be too long," the older man said with a wink as Shepard disappeared behind the locker room door.

**~~~☆~~~**

**Later that evening —**

"Did you enjoy the game?" Robert asked as he gently massaged the young blonde's neck.

"I did. Today was good," Shepard admitted, "Thanks for taking me. I appreciate it."

"You're so tense," the older man whispered, close enough for Shepard to feel the man's breath on his neck. "Let me massage your shoulders for you."

"I-I'm good," the young blonde assured nervously.

"Nonsense," Robert insisted as he tugged the blue-eyed boy's shirt off, "It'll only take a minute."

Shepard tensed as the older man began touching his back, taking his time kneading the tight muscles, before moving to touch the boy's chest.

"I-I should probably go to my room now," the young blonde insisted, "Thank you for the massage, but you can stop now."

The older man reluctantly removed his hands, but not before kissing the boy's neck.

_'What the fuck!? This guy really needs to learn his boundaries,'_ the voice was angry and anxious. And it scared the hell out of Shepard. 

"I-I really need to get some sleep," Shepard said, nervously, as he made his way towards his bedroom.

"Sweet dreams, Johnny," the older man grinned with a wink.

Shepard made it to his room in record time. "I think I'm gonna be sick."

_'You ain't the only one! Let's just try to get some sleep,'_ the voice suggested, trying to calm the boy as best he could.

"I really wish that my door had a lock," Shepard whispered as he crawled into bed.

_'Yeah. You and me both, kid. Now just try to get some shut-eye,'_ the voice suggested as the young blonde slowly closed his tired blue eyes.

**~~~☆~~~**

**Later that night —**

Shepard awoke with a start when he felt a large hand being placed over his mouth --- the heavy, weight of a man, suddenly, pinning him down face first on the mattress.

"Shh…" the older man whispered against the young boy's ear, "I've seen the way you look at me, with those sexy blue eyes. I know you want me…"

_'Want you? We can't fucking stand you, you fucking creep! He's out of his goddamn mind!'_

'I'm scared! I'm scared! I don't know what to do!' Shepard screamed internally as the tears poured from his frightened blue eyes.

"I want you too," the sick man whispered as he began tearing the clothing from the boy's body. 

Not knowing what else to do, Shepard tried to fight back only to have his, once broken, left arm twisted painfully behind his back. 

"Be good, Johnny," Robert demanded as he applied even more pressure to the boy's fragile arm. "I know you like it rough, but I don't want to hurt you. I've been waiting patiently for months now. So, let's take our time and enjoy it, eh."

'He's gonna break my fucking arm! I can feel it,' The boy cried, his blue eyes wide in terror.

_'Shepard, listen to me! Stop fighting! I know you're scared, and your first instinct is to fight, but he'll just hurt you more. Just listen to me, and try to block him out. Do you understand what I'm saying?'_ The voice pleaded, trying to help the defenceless boy the only way he knew how.

"So tight," the older man grunted as he violated the young body under him.

The boy's screams went unheard, muffled by the man's large hand.

'It hurts — it hurts. Make it stop!'

_'That goddamn son of a bitch! Focus on me, Shepard. It'll be over soon. I promise. Just focus on me.'_

'It hurts too much! I can't…'

_'Don't cry out, you hear me! Don't give him that! Remember what Aaron always says?'_

'Aaron… '

_'That's right, just think of Aaron… Just breathe, J,'_ the voice instructed.

Shepard closed his frightened blue eyes tight and tried his best to breathe through the pain, and eventually, just as the voice had promised, it was over.

"Such a good little fuck," the disgusting man said as he kissed the prone boy roughly on the neck. "Daddy is gonna make a fortune with you," the man whispered as he rose to his feet, making it to the door before turning his attention back to the broken eleven-year-old. "I would keep this between us if I were you. We wouldn't want anyone to find out just how much of a whore you really are, now would we? I mean, what would they think? Happy birthday, Johnny. I hope you enjoyed your present. I know I certainly did."

Left whimpering and bleeding on the bed, the broken young blonde thought about the man's cruel words, and wondered if there was any truth to them. 

"Aaron's gonna hate me if he ever finds out," Shepard cried.

_'No, he won't! You need to tell him what this bastard did to you,'_ the voice demanded. _'This wasn't your fault, and Aaron will understand that.'_

'But what if he doesn't! I don't wanna lose Aaron. I'm scared,' Shepard explained. 'I ain't gonna tell nobody, not ever.'

_' **Sigh—**_ _Stubborn-ass kid. Fine! Are you alright, Shepard? Can you move at all?'_

'I'm afraid to try. It hurts so bad…'

_'Just close your eyes. Close your eyes and dream. Dream of anything you want, whether it be Aaron Hayes or playing hockey for the Vancouver Canucks, just dream_ **_your_ ** _dream and try not to think of what happened. Can you do that for me, Shepard?'_

The blonde boy dried his sad blue eyes. "I'll try."

The boy's sleep wasn't a peaceful one that night. No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't get the pain to go away. He was plagued by the awful memory, still fresh in his mind and on his body, terrified of what tomorrow would bring.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shepard's life really goes downhill from here. This chapter was very difficult to write for obvious reasons. 
> 
> Thanks for reading.


	8. Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard's life has become a living hell. How long can he endure before he finally snaps?
> 
> **WARNING!!! This chapter contains semi-graphic depictions of violent rape. Please use caution when reading.**

Nearly a year had passed, and Shepard's situation had gone from bad to worse. The violation of his young body by his foster father had eventually escalated into prostitution. With each encounter, the boy was becoming more and more numb — losing any, and all hope of ever feeling clean again, the blue-eyed boy continued to do as he was told. No matter how vile the request, the young boy's body acted automatically, unfeeling and uncaring — almost mechanical in the act. And his foster father couldn't have been more pleased.

"You have a client tonight," Robert informed the blue-eyed boy as he sipped his coffee.

"I'm playing hockey today," Shepard replied as he took a bite of his cereal, "What time will he be here?"

" _Sigh—_ You and hockey," the older man chuckled, "As long as you're home by eight, it should be fine."

"Who is it?" The blonde boy asked, blue eyes dull and listless. 

"It's Geoff. You remember him?" Robert grinned, "Short guy with salt and pepper hair, kind of stocky-like. He just adores you."

Shepard's stomach churned at his foster father's words. "I gotta go. I'm meeting my friends at the rink. I don't wanna be late."

"Give Daddy a kiss," the older man demanded as he pulled the young boy in for a kiss.

Automatically, the boy's body reacted, opening his mouth slightly to accept the violation of the older man's tongue. 

"Johnny, you have the sweetest mouth," Robert praised with a predatory grin.

"Whatever," the blonde boy shrugged, eager to be away from the man. "I'll be home by eight."

"Have fun, Johnny-boy," the older man winked.

Once out the door, Shepard immediately spat and wiped his mouth vigorously. "I fucking hate you," Shepard whispered under his breath while thinking of his foster father.

_'Try not to puke. If you puke, then I'll get sick, and then you'll puke again— It's a vicious cycle,"_ the voice explained lightheartedly, trying to ease the young boy's tension.

"Thanks for the tip," Shepard grinned as he made his way to the rink.

**~~~☆~~~**

_'You're late, as always,'_ the voice scolded, _'If Aaron's here, then he's inside. That's assuming that he didn't give up on you and go home.'_

'God, I hope he didn't give up and go home! I've been looking forward to this all week,' Shepard thought, anxiously, as he entered the building.

"J! Over here," the green-eyed boy yelled, motioning for his young friend to join him.

"Sorry, I'm late," Shepard apologized as he greeted his beloved friend.

"No offence, kid," Ryan chuckled, "But you look tired as hell. Rough night, eh?"

Shepard grinned at the grey-eyed boy before punching him lightly in the arm. "Fuck you, Walker. I still look better than you!"

"He has a point, Ryan," Aaron agreed, green eyes shining.

"Ah, fuck you both," Ryan replied, laughing as he spoke. "Are we gonna play or not?"

"Who exactly are we playing? I mean, there's only three of us," Aaron asked, "We're not exactly a full unit."

"I got some guys coming," Ryan explained, "They're from a local beer league."

"So, they're old guys?" Shepard asked, cocking his head to the side.

Ryan broke out laughing. "Nah, dude! The oldest guy is like twenty."

"Twenty **is** old to J," the green-eyed boy reminded.

"Huh? Well, shit," the grey-eyed boy cursed as he took a glance at the young blue-eyed boy, "Baby Boy, are you afraid to play against older guys?"

"Hell no," Shepard answered with confidence.

"See, it's all good, Hayes," Ryan grinned.

"Yeah, I guess," Aaron agreed, winking at Shepard as he spoke.

"Is that them?" Shepard asked, nodding in the direction of the newcomers.

"That's them," Ryan confirmed as they made their way over.

**~~~☆~~~**

The game was long and fierce. Just the way Shepard liked it. The older men were pleasantly surprised with the talent of the three boys and offered to play again whenever they wished. The boys quickly agreed as they exchanged farewells and headed out of the building.

"You guys wanna get something to eat," Ryan asked, stomach growling loudly, "'Cause I'm hungry as a motherfucker."

"Ryan, you're **always** hungry," the green-eyed boy mused.

"True enough," the grey-eyed boy admitted. "So, we gonna eat or what?"

"J?"

Shepard thought for a few seconds before finally making a decision. "Sure, what the hell."

**~~~☆~~~**

"So, Shepard," Ryan asked while taking a bite of his burger, "You got a girlfriend yet, or what?"

"Yeah, J," the green-eyed boy chimed in, "Every time I get a chance to ask, something interrupts us, and I never get an answer. So, what's up? You got a girl, or what?"

Shepard furrowed his brow as he struggled with how to answer. He didn't want to lie to Aaron, but he didn't want to scare him away either. "I guess the answer's 'or what.' "

Ryan broke out laughing, "Nice answer, Baby Boy, but how come? You're a good-looking kid, you know."

"Yeah, he really is," Aaron agreed, making the younger boy blush. "And I just know all the girls want him. Are you shy, J?"

Shepard just shrugged, "I dunno."

"Well, what's your type," Ryan inquired, "What kind of girl do you like?"

The blue-eyed boy just shrugged, trying his best to avoid eye contact.

"No need to be shy, J. We won't tease you, I promise," Aaron assured his friend as he patiently awaited an answer.

"I don't… I-I–" Shepard stammered. "Aaron, can I talk to you in private for a minute?"

"Huh? Sure," Aaron agreed as he followed his young friend to the washroom.

"What's up, J?" The green-eyed boy asked, concerned for his blue-eyed friend, "Is everything alright?"

"I need to tell you something, but I don't know how to say it," Shepard answered truthfully, "I don't want you to hate me, and I don't want things to be weird between us — 'cause there are a lot of things in my life that's fucked up, and I don't think I could survive if you weren't my friend. Do you get what I'm saying?"

"Uh, kinda," Aaron replied, curious as to why his J was so anxious. "J, nothing you could ever say would change the fact that you're my friend. You're my J, and I love you. So, whatever it is that's bothering you, you can tell me. You don't have to be afraid, J."

_'For the love of… JUST TELL HIM FOR FUCK'S SAKE!'_ The voice insisted.

"AARON,I'MGAY!" The blue-eyed boy yelled out as fast as he could — eyes closed tight, afraid to look his friend in the eyes.

Aaron smiled softly, as he took his J into his arms and hugged him tightly, "It's okay, J. Really, it is. I kinda already knew. I was just waiting for you to tell me."

"You knew," the young blonde asked, "Do you think everybody can tell?"

Aaron laughed softly, "No, I don't think so. I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who knows. You aren't ashamed of it, are you, J?"

"No! Why would I be?" Shepard replied, "I just… I don't want your friends to hate me."

Aaron laughed as he held his J's face in his hands. "If you're worried about Ryan, I'll let you in on a little secret, but you can't tell anyone, okay?"

Shepard nodded. "I promise. I won't say a word."

"I believe you," Aaron said as he whispered into his young friend's ear, "Ryan's gay too."

Shepard's blue eyes went wide in shock. "But, he has a girlfriend," Shepard said in confusion.

"Well, yeah," the green-eyed boy admitted, "His family's pretty strict, and they'd never allow him to date a guy. So, he hides it. Please don't think poorly of him, J. He really is a great guy."

"I don't think poorly of him. I just don’t understand why he would want to date a girl," the blue-eyed boy admitted, scrunching his nose in disapproval.

"Yeah," Aaron laughed, "You might understand more when you're older. I'm so glad you told me, J. I could tell something was troubling you. For months now, you haven't been yourself, yeah. Your eyes haven't been as bright. I'm looking forward to seeing my carefree J again, yeah."

Shepard's gaze dropped from his friend's pale-green eyes. 'Have I really been acting so different around Aaron?'

_'Yes, yes, you have. So, now might be a good time to come clean about your bastard foster father and the revolving door of pedos,'_ the voice suggested.

'NO! Aaron never has to know! No one ever has to know,' Shepard insisted silently.

" **J** ," Aaron shouted, finally getting his young friend's attention. "Are you okay? You kinda spaced out there."

"I'm fine," the blue-eyed boy smiled his best smile, "Ready to go before Ryan sends a search party?"

"Yeah," Aaron smiled as he opened the door, "After you, J."

**~~~☆~~~**

"What took so goddamn long," Ryan asked as he munched on one of Aaron's french fries, "I ate half your fries, by the way."

"Of course you did," Aaron chuckled as he rolled his eyes at his friend.

"What did I miss," the grey-eyed boy asked.

"J just wanted to tell me something," Aaron shrugged, "That's all."

"What did he tell you?" Ryan asked curiously.

"Can I tell him, J?" Aaron asked cautiously, unwilling to break his young friend's trust.

The blue-eyed boy just nodded as he continued to eat his food.

"J's like you," Aaron stated simply.

"Ah, I see," Ryan nodded as he glanced at the young boy sitting across from him. "I guess that proves it, huh, Baby Boy?"

Shepard looked up at the grey-eyed boy in confusion. "Proves what?"

"That our kind's **way** better looking than the normals," Ryan boasted with a cheeky-grin, "We're cooler too. Am I right, J?"

The blue-eyed boy chuckled as he nodded his head in agreement. "Seems accurate."

Aaron just laughed. "I can actually see that logic. Well, when I look at J, I see it. I'm not too sure about you, though, Ryan," Aaron teased.

"Fuck you, Hayes," Ryan chuckled as he punched his friend gently on the arm. 

Shepard was laughing when he glanced up at the clock on the wall, "Shit," Shepard panicked, "Is that clock right?"

Aaron glanced at the clock on the wall and then to his watch. "Yeah," Aaron replied, "It's eight-thirty. Is that a problem, J? You're usually not due home until nine-thirty."

"Robert's gonna fucking kill me," Shepard cursed as he scrambled to collect his things.

"Whoa, calm down, dude," Ryan said as he tried to help the boy with his coat. "Everything's gonna be fine."

"You don't know what the hell you're talking about," the blue-eyed boy snapped as his whole body shook from anxiety. "I was supposed to be home by eight. I'm so fucking stupid!"

Concerned about his young friend's behaviour, Aaron pulled the blue-eyed boy tightly to his chest. Aaron whispered as he held the boy even tighter. "Easy, J. Just breathe for me, yeah."

Aaron held the young boy until he finally stopped shaking. 

"You okay, Baby Boy," Ryan asked as he rubbed the younger boy's back. "I can drive you home. It'll save you like ten minutes."

"Okay," Shepard agreed as he wiped the unshed tears from his blue eyes.

"We’ll be there in no time, eh," Ryan reassured the younger boy as they loaded themselves into the car as fast as they could.

Wasting no time, the boys made their way to Shepard’s home. Thanks to Ryan’s creative driving, they arrived outside the Friesen residence in record time, much to the relief of the young blonde.

"If you want, I can go in and explain why you're late, eh," Aaron offered.

"NO!" Shepard replied quickly as he quickly exited the car. "That's okay. Thanks for the ride. I'll see you guys soon, yeah."

"Later, Baby Boy," Ryan said as he waved at the younger boy.

"Call me, J," Aaron shouted just as the boy was entering the house.

"I will," Shepard promised as he disappeared behind the large black door.

"Did J seem weird to you?" Aaron asked as he furrowed his brow.

"I didn't know he was like me, if that's what you mean," Ryan chuckled, "So much for gaydar, eh."

Aaron laughed a bit before replying, "That's not what I meant. I meant how he acted when he saw he was late. I've never seen him freak out so much just from being late. It bothers me, yeah."

"You think the foster dude is beating him or something," Ryan asked as his tone grew serious.

Aaron rubbed his face hard as he tried to get all the bad thoughts out of his head. "I don't know. I haven't noticed any bruises except for that one on the back of his neck. But that was months ago, yeah."

"Maybe we should keep a closer eye on him from now on," Ryan suggested, "If anything odd comes up, we get him the hell outta there. Agreed?"

"Agreed," Aaron smiled, "Hey, Ryan, thanks for caring about my J."

"Your J, huh," Ryan chuckled as he shook his head at his green-eyed friend, "Still not willing to share. Greedy little thing aren't you, Hayes. I mean, he's my friend too, you know."

Aaron laughed softly, "Yeah, he's your friend too. I'll admit that, but he'll always be **my** J."

Ryan stared at his friend with a look of knowing in his pale-grey eyes. "Of that, I have no doubt."

**~~~☆~~~**

"Where the hell have you been?" Shepard's foster father yelled as he slapped the boy hard across the face. "The client's been waiting for over forty-five minutes!"

Shepard's blue eyes dulled as he continued to look straight ahead. "I'm sorry. I lost track of time. It won't happen again."

"It had better not, or you can forget about hockey," the older man warned as he began stripping the boy roughly. "The client's in your room. He's pretty angry too, so don't be surprised if he's a little rougher than usual. Since you fucked up, I told him he could use your mouth for free. So, don't even think of biting him. Do you hear me, Johnny? We don't need a repeat of last time."

"I understand," the blue-eyed boy mumbled as he made his way to his bedroom, dreading what was waiting for him.

**~~~☆~~~**

"Damn, boy! You are worth every cent," the short man said as he slowly pulled out of the boy. "And that mouth… pure heaven. Your daddy taught you well."

The young blonde remained silent as he gently sat up in bed, eyes cold and vacant as he stared into space.

"Here's a tip for you, Johnny," the man announced as he threw a purple bill onto the boy's bed. "No need to tell your daddy about it. It'll just be between you and me, eh."

"I'm not allowed to take money from customers," Shepard said in a tone that was more mechanical than human. "Please take your money and go. If you haven't paid, then you can settle up with Robert."

"Well, aren't you the perfect son," the older man chuckled as he tousled the boy's dark-blonde hair.

Moving onto his side and facing away from the man, the young boy spoke once more, "Please leave. Our business here is done, and I'm very tired."

Shepard cringed as the older man placed a sloppy kiss on his forehead that was more of a lick than an actual kiss. "See you again soon, Johnny," the man whispered as he made his way out of the boy's room.

"I hope you die," Shepard whispered as he closed his eyes to sleep.

_'Don't you wanna take a shower or something?"_ The voice whispered softly, not wanting to upset the boy.

"What's the point?" Shepard whispered, "Robert's gonna want his fun. He always does when he's been drinking, and he was drinking when I got home. So, what's the fucking point? I'll just get messed up again."

_'_ ** _Sigh—_ ** _I understand. Just try to sleep a little.'_

**~~~☆~~~**

**A week later —**

Shepard was sitting alone, eating in the school cafeteria when he was suddenly pushed violently from behind, his milk spilling all over his food and onto the table.

"Fuck," Shepard cursed under his breath as he tried to dry the milk from the table. 

"Aw, poor Johnny spilled his milk," a slightly older boy with extremely short brown hair and hazel eyes, teased as he nudged the blonde boy once more.

"Can I help you?" Shepard asked with anger in his voice.

"Hmm, nope. I don't think you can, Johnny boy," the older boy laughed as he nudged the boy yet again.

"Look, I don't want no trouble, but you need to back off me," Shepard warned as anger flashed in his sapphire eyes, "I don't like being touched."

The older boy laughed. "I just don't get it. Why does she like someone as creepy as you?"

"What?" The blue-eyed boy asked, the conversation lost on him.

"Don't play dumb, Johnny," the older boy snarled, "You know that Tyra likes you!"

Shepard cocked his head to the side in confusion. "Who?"

"Whattaya mean, 'who?' " the older boy asked in shock, " **TYRA** , you know, the prettiest girl in school! Don't act like you don't know! You fucking flirt with her all the time!"

The young blonde cocked an eyebrow at the older boy. "What the fuck are you on about?"

The older boy's face had grown red in annoyance. "You carry her books every damn day!"

Finally, realization dawned on the younger boy. "Oh, her. She asks me to carry her books for her. She's in the school band, so she has a lot of stuff to carry. I help her out is all."

"So, you **do** like her!? I fucking knew it," the older boy cursed as he shoved Shepard once again.

"Stop pushing me," Shepard growled as he pushed the older boy back. "Look, I don't like your little girlfriend or whatever the fuck she is to you! I don't even like girls, so just stay the fuck away from me!"

The older boy's eyes grew wide at the blue-eyed boy's words before laughing uncontrollably.

"Oh, man," the older boy laughed as he spoke, "You don't like — hahaha — you don't like girls! So, you're a fag? This is too good!"

Shepard rolled his eyes at the older boy. "Yeah, I am! So fucking what! I ain't bothering you. So, mind your own goddamn business!"

"Hey, everybody! Johnny-boy's a faggot. You hear that, Tyra? Your dream guy's into guys himself," the older boy yelled as he announced Shepard's sexuality to the entire cafeteria.

The entire cafeteria burst out into laughter as Shepard's temper began to boil over.

Suddenly, a crowd of boys had appeared around the young blonde, each one shouting in his ear, trying to belittle him for who and what he was. "LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE," Shepard screamed as he clenched his jaw tight.

The older boy decided to shove the young blonde just once more. He soon found out that 'once more' was one time too many.

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH ME! I AM SO GODDAMN SICK OF PEOPLE TOUCHING ME!" Shepard snapped as he let loose on the older boy, beating the boy viciously as the other boys scattered.

Just a few moments later, a teacher appeared and tried her best to separate the boys.

"Johnny, stop," the older lady demanded as she tried to remove the angry boy from his victim. "Johnny Shepard, I said stop it this instant! Are you listening to me?"

Eventually, the older woman was successful in removing the young blonde from the older boy but was still having trouble keeping a hold on the rowdy boy.

"Calm down, young man," the lady begged as she held the boy as tight as she could.

"Stop fucking touching me! Let me go," Shepard screamed as his heart raced.

"I can't do that until you calm down," the lady explained.

_'Shepard, calm the fuck down! You're gonna be expelled for life if you don't cool it! Trust me, the last thing we want is to be at home all day with Robert,'_ the voice demanded.

Shepard immediately calmed down at the thought of having to spend all day at home — alone — with Robert.

"Are you — _huff – huff_ — are you calm enough for me to let you go?" The teacher asked as she finally caught her breath.

Shepard nodded, slowly, as she loosened her grip on him.

The teacher quietly led the young blue-eyed boy to the principal's office.

"Johnny, what happened? Why did you attack that boy?" The principal asked quietly.

"He wouldn't stop touching me. I told him not to touch me," Shepard explained.

"I see," the principal adjusted his glasses as he continued on, "And it had absolutely nothing to do with the 'announcement' that Donald made in the cafeteria?"

"What announcement?" The blue-eyed boy asked quietly.

The principal sighed, "The one about your sexuality."

"It's the truth. Why would the truth upset me?" Shepard replied quietly.

"I see. So, the other children's teasing didn't upset you at all," the principal inquired, knowing that it must have played some part in Shepard's anger.

The blonde boy shrugged as he spoke, "A little, I guess."

"That's what I thought," the principal said as he contemplated the young boy's punishment. "Taking into consideration the actions of young Donald, the punishment for your behaviour will not be as severe as it normally would. However, you will still be suspended from school for a period of three days. It has also come to my attention that your grades have slipped quite a bit lately, and while you are not failing your classes, you are clearly struggling more than usual. Because of this, I have decided that you will receive your assignments for the next three days in advance. They will be sent home with you this evening to be completed and turned in upon returning to school on Monday. This will be done to ensure that you do not fall behind. Do you understand?"

Shepard nodded as he replied, "Yes, sir."

"You will be sent home with a letter explaining the situation to your guardian. And I am truly sorry for the behaviour of the children this afternoon," the principal said as he smiled a little at the boy, "Now — if you have no questions, you are free to return to class."

"Do you have to tell him I'm gay?" The blue-eyed boy asked nervously in a quiet tone.

"No," the principal assured the young boy, "That detail will not be included in the letter."

"Thank you, sir," Shepard said as he made his way back to class.

_'What does it matter whether Robert knows or not?'_ The voice asked, unable to understand the young boy's reasoning.

'The last thing I need is for that fucker to start teasing me, and telling that I want it just 'cause I'm gay. That ain't how it works.' Shepard explained silently.

_'Oh… I did not think of that. Good thinking on your part.'_

'Thank you. I thought so too,' the blue-eyed boy thought as he waited patiently for his day to end.

**~~~☆~~~**

"I got suspended from school today," Shepard announced, dreading his foster father's response.

"Suspended?" The older man asked as he cocked his brow, "What the hell did you do?"

"I got in a fight," the blue-eyed boy answered honestly.

"Dammit, Johnny! Why were you fighting?"

"A kid kept shoving me, and I lost it," the blonde shrugged as he avoided his foster father's eyes.

"How long were you suspended for?" Robert asked as Shepard handed him the letter.

"Three days," Shepard replied, "The details are in the letter."

The older man took his time reading the letter, making the young blonde even more nervous.

"This could actually work to my advantage," the older man grinned, making Shepard uneasy. "When it's time for your shower, don't bother getting dressed. You'll be sleeping in my room tonight, so just finish your homework there."

"But I have, like, a ton of school work to do," the blue-eyed blonde pleaded, "It would probably be easier to do my homework in my room. I don't wanna crowd your bedroom with all my books and stuff."

"Daddy's touched," the older man chuckled, "But I don't mind. Now go on, get that homework done! Daddy'll see you in a few hours."

Shepard gave the older man a disgusted look before doing as he was told.

**~~~☆~~~**

The next three days were hell for the young blonde. His foster father had him servicing clients three to four times a day and the young boy had just about reached his limit.

"You have another client coming at seven," Robert informed his young foster son, "I suggest you take a shower. He doesn't like the smell of other men on you. He complained last time."

"Whose fault was that?" Shepard mumbled as he limped his way to the kitchen.

"What did you say to me?" Robert asked, surprised to hear the boy's rebellious tone. 

"I said, 'whose goddamn fault is that'!" The boy yelled as he slammed the refrigerator door closed.

"Don't you take that tone with me, Johnny," the older man warned. 

"Or what, Robert!? You gonna fuck me again? Who cares — you do that all the goddamn time — besides your tiny little dick don't hurt no more. So, fuck you!" Shepard raged, sick and tired of the whole goddamn mess.

"My tiny—" Robert repeated as the anger inside him reached his peak, "Boy, I am gonna beat the living shit out of you!"

The older man charged the boy, and just as Shepard was almost out of his reach, he grabbed the boy by his dark-blonde hair and shoved him roughly to the ground. Robert immediately began kicking the defenceless boy, kicking him several times in the head, face, and stomach. 

**~~~☆~~~**

Once the older man tired of kicking the boy, he yanked him up by his hair and dragged the boy to the master bedroom where he proceeded to violate the boy. The rape was brutal, and Shepard was certain that something had broken inside him.

"My dick's too tiny, huh," the older man seethed as he zipped up his pants and began texting someone on his phone. "Don't worry, boy, I know a guy that’ll give you more than you can handle — fucking huge. This man's gonna split your smart little ass in two."

'What's he doing?' The young blonde asked, head in a fog.

_'I don't know, but it ain't good!'_ The voice warned. _'You need to try to run. Can you do that?'_

'I'll try.'

The blue-eyed boy burst from the bed, and nearly made it to the door, when he was grabbed by the hair, and thrown violently against a mirror, breaking it instantly — the pieces falling in shards all around the boy. 

Shepard instantly felt a gash on the top of the left side of his forehead. Before he could assess the damage, he was picked up and thrown violently across the room, his head bouncing off the edge of the nightstand with a sickening thud.

_'Shepard! Are you all right? Talk to me, kid,'_ the voice pleaded.

"I don't… Iyna…" The boy's words were slurred, and some just came out sounding like gibberish.

_'Shepard, you need to focus. Just try to focus!'_

It took a few minutes, but the young boy was slowly starting to regain his senses. He was almost fully aware when he was thrown onto the large bed. The boy could hear Robert talking to someone, but he couldn't understand what they were saying. His blue eyes began to focus as the two figures standing before him came into view. One was Shepard's foster father, Robert, and the other was a man he had never seen before. Shepard watched in confusion as the strange man began to undress. The boy's blue eyes went wide in fear as his eyes came to focus on the massive thing hanging between the man's legs.

"There ain't no goddamn way! He'll fucking kill me," Shepard screamed as his foster father punched him hard in the jaw.

"You should have thought of that before you opened your smartass mouth." Robert laughed. "Speaking of mouth, this brat's really good with his. Just don't suffocate the little bastard," Robert said as he collected payment from the stranger. "He's all yours."

"I can tell from all the blood that he likes it rough," the stranger chuckled as he walked slowly towards the bed, "You don't mind if I make him bleed a little more?"

"As long as you don't kill him, I don't give a fuck what you do to him," the older man laughed as he spoke, "Just make sure you fuck him hard. I want you to fuck that attitude right out of him."

The stranger laughed as he began stroking himself in front of the terrified boy. "Oh, I can **definitely** do that."

"I'll leave you to it," Robert said as he opened the door to leave, "Just let me know when you're done."

"Will do," the stranger said as he made his way onto the bed.

**~~~☆~~~**

The brutality lasted for about twenty minutes, but it had felt like an eternity for the young boy. There were times during the ordeal when Shepard was certain that he was being torn in two. It was during these moments that the blue-eyed boy had drifted in and out of consciousness, passing out due to the sheer pain the massive man was inflicting upon his much smaller body. The man had left him a broken mess and the young blonde was afraid that he would never be whole again.

"I'm heading out," the stranger informed Robert as he finished getting dressed.

"So, what did you think of him," Robert asked as he offered the man a beer before he left.

Taking the beer, the stranger spoke, "You didn't lie. Best fuck I've had in a long while. And he can take a hell of a lot of pain, that's for sure. Not many can take everything I can give, but the kid took it better than I expected."

"Jeez, you didn't totally destroy him, did you, Bill," Robert asked with a grin.

"I'm not a total monster," Bill chuckled as he downed the rest of his beer. "He's a little too small to give him **everything** I got, but maybe in a year or so."

"Is he worth another go?" Robert asked, hoping Bill would become a regular.

"Hell yeah," Bill assured his friend, "I'll be back to tap that real soon."

Robert laughed as he led his friend to the door. "Come back anytime! I'll even give you a discount. Maybe a free blowjob. It's the least I can do for the man that fucked that uppity attitude out of him."

"That free blowjob sounds good. He's got a throat like pure velvet," Bill said as he licked his lips at the memory. "He holds his breath real good too."

"Yeah, the kid was born to suck cock. That's for sure," Robert agreed as he showed his friend out. "See you later, Bill."

"Later, Robert."

**~~~☆~~~**

Robert opened the door to his bedroom and clicked on the light. "Look at you! You're a fucking mess! I guess I'll just have to sleep in your bed tonight."

Shepard just lay silent, in far too much pain to respond.

"Look at me when I'm talking to you," the older man demanded as he slammed the boy's head hard into the headboard with a sharp cracking sound.

The young blonde tried desperately to look at the man, but he was having trouble focusing.

"Look at all that filth pouring out of you," Roger laughed as he licked the blood from the side of the boy's head, "I'll bet you enjoyed every second of it, didn't you, you little fucking whore."

The older man shoved the boy roughly onto the mattress, using him once more, before making his way out of the room, finally leaving the boy in peace.

**~~~☆~~~**

**Twenty minutes later —**

"I think I'm gonna kill him," the blue-eyed boy whispered as he tried to make it off the bed.

_'You're in no shape to be moving around. You might have internal injuries, you idiot!'_

"Shut the fuck up! He needs to die! It'll never stop until he's dead!" Shepard growled as he made his way to the door.

_'You're seriously gonna kill him, aren't you?'_

"Uh-huh," the blue-eyed boy replied simply.

_'Well, at least call for help first! If this fails, you're going to need it,'_ the voice urged.

"Fine! I'll call," the boy agreed as he picked up the phone by his foster father's bed.

"911. What's your emergency?" The operator asked in a clear and calming voice.

"He hurt me, so I'm gonna hurt him," Shepard answered truthfully.

"Who hurt you?" The operator questioned.

"It doesn't matter," the blue-eyed boy mumbled.

"How old are you?"

"I'll be 12 in April," Shepard answered. "I'm gonna go now. I'm getting tired."

"Wait, we have a unit en route, but I need your address," the operator explained as she tried to keep the boy on the line.

"3964 Franklin Street," Shepard answered as he laid the phone on the table.

Slowly, the boy made his way to his bedroom door — turning the knob slowly, being careful, not to wake his sleeping foster father, the young blonde slowly opened the door. Looking around for anything he could use as a weapon, his gaze quickly landed on the hockey stick in the corner.

'That'll work," the blue-eyed boy decided as he took the stick in his hands.

_'You're seriously gonna do it!? I can't believe it!'_

"I just want it to end," the tired boy whispered as he raised the hockey stick high above his head, bringing it down hard across his foster father's chest.

"Johnny, what the fuck are you doing," the older man cried as he scrambled to get away from the angry boy.

The blue-eyed boy was silent as he continued striking the man as hard as he could.

"Goddammit, Johnny, stop it! You're hurting me, you little bastard," the man wailed.

Shepard snapped at the man's words. "Shut the fuck up! I'm hurting you!? Look what you did to me, you fucking pussy!"

The young blonde hit the older man with all of his might right between the legs. Robert screamed out in pain, causing the young boy to repeat the motion again and again.

Shepard didn't even know when the police and EMTs had arrived. Blissfully unaware until a woman's arms wrapped around his naked body, holding him firmly in place.

"It's okay, child. Everything's okay now. You can put the stick down now," the auburn-haired policewoman with light crystalline-blue eyes, whispered softly.

"I can't," the young boy pleaded in fear, voice ragged and worn, "If I stop, he'll hurt me again. Please, just let me end him."

"He can't hurt you anymore," the policewoman promised. "You can let it go. You're hurt and need medical attention. Do you understand, child?"

"Samara, we'll be ready to examine him in just a minute," one of the EMTs informed the policewoman as they finished taking the injured man from the room.

_'Shepard, something ain't right… I don't feel so good,'_ the voice warned.

"I feel funny," the young blonde announced before collapsing to the ground in a violent seizure. 

"He's seizing," Samara yelled as she motioned for one of the EMTs to assist her. "He seems to have an open wound on the upper left side of his head. That may be the cause of the seizure. We need to get him to the ER as quickly as possible."

Once the young boy was stabilized enough for travel, he was quickly transferred to the ER. There he was examined thoroughly and treated for a long list of injuries. Though the boy had continued to seize throughout the night, the doctors were confident, much to the relief of the young policewoman, that the seizures would soon subside, and that there would be no lasting damage to his brain. 

**~~~☆~~~**

**The next morning —**

"How are you feeling?" Samara asked as she gently stroked the boy's soft blonde hair.

"Sore," Shepard replied, his voice still hoarse from the trauma. "Am I in trouble?"

"No, you aren't in trouble," the young woman assured, "When you're feeling better, I thought maybe you could tell me what happened."

"Why? Don't you already know?" The young boy asked, brow furrowed in confusion.

"Yes, I know," Samara answered truthfully, "But I need to know everything that man did to hurt you."

The blue-eyed blonde shook his head slowly, "I don't want nobody to know."

"I know," the young woman nodded as she took the boy's hand in hers, "You're scared and embarrassed, but I promise you, no one outside the police department will ever know. It'll just be between us. Would that be okay?"

Shepard considered her words for several minutes. "If I tell you, can you promise that he won't hurt me no more?"

Samara smiled, sadly, at the boy, "Yes, that I can promise. He'll never hurt you again. You have my word."

"Okay," the blue-eyed boy nodded, "I'll tell you anything you wanna know."

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was another rough one. I hope I handled it well.
> 
> Thanks for reading. I hope you stick around for the next chapter.


	9. I Love the Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eight months later, Shepard gets placed in a temporary home. There he meets a new friend, and Shepard lets the rain wash him clean.
> 
> This chapter contains mild sexual content (experimentation between minors).

**Eight months later —**

In the months that followed the incident, the young blue-eyed boy had been through the stress of a trial as well as the fear of an uncertain future. And although the boy felt as if he were drowning, he managed to keep treading water in the vain hope that his life would somehow get better. 

"Johnny, this is Mr. and Mrs. MacDonald. They have agreed to let you stay with them for a while," the director, a bald man named Phillip, with light-brown eyes, explained with a smile.

"Hello, Johnny," a petite woman with brown hair and kelly-green eyes, greeted the young boy with a smile, "My name is Carolyn."

"And I'm Shawn," an older man of average height, with salt and pepper hair, and brown eyes, chimed in with a soft grin.

The young boy remained silent as he offered his hand to the couple.

Taking the boy's hand and shaking it firmly, the older man spoke, "I know it's only temporary, Johnny, but we are very happy to have you in our home."

Shepard nodded as he picked up his belongings and awaited their instructions.

"Johnny doesn't talk much lately, but we've been told that this is perfectly normal behaviour considering the circumstances," Phillip explained. 

"And he still has therapy, I assume," Carolyn asked, wanting to know as much as possible about the situation.

"He actually just finished his final session," the director informed the lady with a reassuring smile.

"That's good," Shawn said as he smiled at the young boy.

"I assume he returns to school soon," the petite lady said as she glanced through Shepard's paperwork.

"He's due to return on Monday — that's okay with you, of course," Phillip explained.

"That'll be fine," Carolyn assured the director as she offered her hand.

"Thank you for taking him in on such short notice," Phillip replied as he shook the woman's hand, "We appreciate it, and I'm certain that he’s grateful as well."

"No problem," Carolyn smiled, "We're glad to do it."

"Well, if we're all set," Shawn said with a smile, "Then I suggest we get going."

Once the farewells were said, the couple, with Shepard in tow, headed home.

**~~~☆~~~**

"Johnny, this will be your room," Mrs. MacDonald explained as she showed the boy around the tiny room, "I know it isn't very big, but the bed's soft, and the sheets are clean. The bathroom is just outside — down the hall to your right. Will this be alright with you?"

"It's fine," the blue-eyed boy spoke softly.

"Ah, so you **can** speak," Carolyn joked as she smiled at the young boy, "And such a beautiful voice."

"Carolyn, don't tease the boy," Shawn chuckled as he stood in the doorway, "Have you introduced him to Liam yet? I'm sure he'd be more at ease with another boy around."

"Aw, you ruined the surprise," the brunette whined as she looked in Shepard's direction, "Would you like to meet our son Liam? He just turned fourteen, and like you, he loves hockey. I think you two would get along well."

"Okay," the young blonde replied with a nod.

"Then let's go," the lady said as she took Shepard by the hand, and led him to her son's room.

**_KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK—_ **

"Liam, honey, open up," Carolyn requested, "Johnny's here, and he would like to meet you."

Slowly the door opened, revealing an attractive young man with average length light-brown hair and bright kelly-green eyes.

"So, this is him?" The older boy asked with a grin, "I thought you said he was younger than me?"

"Yes, this is Johnny," Carolyn explained, "And he **is** younger than you. He's twelve."

The older boy's eyes went wide in surprise. "No way! He sure doesn't look twelve, and he's taller than me!"

"Johnny's had quite the growth spurt recently," the brunette said as she rubbed Shepard's back gently.

"How tall are you, anyway?" Liam asked as his curiosity took over.

"I dunno," Shepard shrugged as he spoke, "Like 5'9" or something."

"Wow," the older boy grinned, "You're big for your age, huh?"

The young blonde shrugged, "I guess. I used to be really small."

"I'll leave you two boys alone, so you can get better acquainted," Carolyn said, smiling at the two boys as she slowly closed the door.

"So, you like hockey," Liam asked as he tried to make conversation.

"Yeah. I love it. I play centre," Shepard replied before asking, "Do you play?"

The older boy began laughing hysterically. "Me? Play? Hahahaha— Uh, no. I have **zero** talent on the ice. I like to watch, though."

"I see you're a 'Nucks fan," the blue-eyed boy observed as he pointed to the poster on the wall.

"Well, this **is** Vancouver, isn't it," the older boy laughed, "It's mandatory, right?"

"I guess," Shepard grinned as he continued to take in his new surroundings.

"You seem like a good kid, Johnny," Liam said, "I think we're gonna be good friends."

The two boys talked well into the night, taking their time, just getting to know each other. It was the most the young blonde had spoken in months, and he quickly decided that Liam was, indeed, a good person — one that Shepard was interested in getting to know better.

**~~~☆~~~**

**Monday, after school —**

"Well, well, if it ain't Johnny-boy," Donald teased as he shoved the blue-eyed boy roughly from behind. "I heard you were back in school. Where have you been, faggot?"

"None of your goddamn business," Shepard replied in annoyance as he waited for his housemate.

"Ooh, touchy, touchy," the older boy teased, "Is the little faggot having a bad day?"

"I kicked your ass once already," the young blonde reminded the older boy, "Don't make me do it again!"

"You just got lucky, faggot!" Donald snorted as he shoved the younger boy once more.

"Leave him alone, jackass," Liam chimed in as he made his way to his new friend's side. "He isn't bothering you."

"Who the hell are you?" The older boy asked, "Why are you defending this faggot?”

"My name's Liam, and he's my friend," Liam announced as he made his way to the blue-eyed boy's side. "Hold on… I know you. We go to the same school. You're that annoying little eighth-grader who thinks he's hot shit, but, in reality, you're just a loser that tries to pick fights with anyone that even remotely reminds you of yourself. It must suck to hate yourself so much."

"What?" The eighth-grader replied, utterly confused by the older boy's words.

"He means you're in the closet. You fucking moron," Shepard explained as he shook his head in mild annoyance.

"What!? I ain't no fucking faggot," Donald exclaimed as his face turned a bright shade of crimson.

"Are you sure?" Liam asked as he continued to make the boy squirm, "Well, let's see… You walked all the way here from the high school, and I seriously doubt you came all this way just to pick a fight with a kid that you think is a faggot. I mean, seriously, who does that? I'll bet you just missed him. That's it, isn't it? You missed those big blue eyes, didn't you? Or maybe you just felt the need to touch him, any touch will do, right? Even if it's just with your fist, it's still better than nothing, eh?"

"I'm gonna kick your ass," Donald threatened as he took a step closer to Liam.

It was then that Shepard tapped the wannabe bully on the shoulder. The second Donald turned, the blonde hit him with a surprise left, knocking the boy to the ground.

"Damn, Johnny," Liam exclaimed, "You knocked his ass out!"

Shepard shrugged as he spoke, "Pussies always go down easy."

"Ready to head home," Liam asked with a grin.

The blue-eyed boy just smiled as he walked home, side-by-side, with his new friend.

**~~~☆~~~**

"Hey, Dad," the older boy greeted as he and Shepard caught sight of his father working on a motorcycle. "Are you still trying to fix that old thing?"

"Yeah," the older man replied as he wiped the sweat from his brow. "I know absolutely nothing about motorcycles. _Sigh—_ I guess I'm just going to have to take it to the shop."

"Mind if I take a look at it?" The young blonde asked softly.

"You know about motorcycles, Johnny?" Shawn asked as he cocked a skeptical brow at the young boy. 

"Kinda," the blue-eyed boy shrugged as he spoke, "I read a lot of books about building motorcycles and stuff. I might be able to tell you what's wrong."

"Then, by all means…" Shawn chuckled as he motioned towards the bike. "If you can figure it out, you would be saving me a lot of time and money."

The young blonde made his way over to the bike and wasted no time examining it carefully. "What exactly is the issue?"

"Well, it kind of just stutters, and then stops," the older man explained, "Like, it moves but only for a few feet before it stutters and the engine dies."

"I **think** I understand," the boy nodded as he looked closely at the lines of the bike. "I think you need a new fuel line. This one's leaking."

"But I taped those up, tight," the older man explained as he scratched his chin. "Are you sure there isn't something else wrong?"

"Well, you might need a new spark plug," Shepard replied as he continued to examine the bike. "I'd have to check it first to be sure. I'd change the oil too."

"Can you go ahead and check the plug for me?" Shawn asked, hoping for a simple fix.

"Sure," the blue-eyed boy assured, "Do you have a multimeter?"

"A what?" The man asked, clearly lost by the question.

"Never mind," Shepard chuckled, "I can check it without one."

Shawn and Liam watched the boy in fascination as he removed the spark plug, while still keeping it plugged into the spark plug cable. "I'm gonna ground it on the frame. Now when you start the motorcycle, if the plug's good, it'll spark a blue colour, and if it's bad, it'll either spark yellow or won't spark at all. Understand?"

"Uh… yeah," the older man nodded, slowly, as he spoke, "I think so."

"Okay, then. If one of you can go ahead and start it for me, that'd be great," Shepard said as he concentrated on the task at hand.

Liam shrugged at his father as he made his way over to the bike and turned the key.

"Yep, you've got a bad spark plug," Shepard explained as he pointed at the yellow sparks coming off the plug.

"Huh. I, never, would have guessed that," Shawn said, pleasantly surprised with the young boy's ability.

"Johnny's really smart, huh Dad," Liam mused as a grin spread across his face.

"Extremely," Liam's father agreed.

Blushing at the compliment, Shepard replied quietly, "I don't know about that. I just like motorcycles, is all."

"Well, I'm impressed," Shawn said with a smile.

"Me too," Liam agreed. "Hey, Dad, maybe you should let Johnny fix the fuel line while he's at it, eh?"

"I think I will," Shawn agreed, nodding his head for emphasis. "If I got a new fuel line, would you be able to install it for me?"

"I think so," the young blonde replied.

"Well, then," the older man chuckled, "I'll pick up the part tomorrow, and you can do your thing. Sound good?"

"Yep, sounds good," the blonde smiled as he rose to his feet, "Pick up some oil, and I'll change that for you too while I'm at it."

"Will do," Shawn said with a warm smile, "Thanks, Johnny. You saved me a lot of trouble and money."

"No problem," the young boy smiled as Liam tugged him by the arm.

"Let's go do our homework before it gets too late," Liam insisted as he dragged Shepard to his bedroom.

"Are you really that excited to do homework?" Shepard asked as he plopped down on the older boy's bed.

"Not really," the older boy admitted as he sat down beside his new friend. "But it's better to get it out of the way. Don't you agree, Johnny?"

"Shepard," the blue-eyed boy stated as he leaned back on the bed, coming to stare at the ceiling.

"What?"

"My name. Call me 'Shepard' — I don't really like the name Johnny," the blonde explained.

"O-oh, okay," the older boy replied in an uncertain tone. "'Shepard' it is, then."

"I hate to ask, but can you help me with something?" Shepard asked softly.

"Sure, what do you need?" The older boy offered with a smile.

"I suck at reading. I mean, I do okay, but after about ten minutes, everything just blurs, and I just get lost," the younger boy admitted.

"Wait, didn't you tell my dad that you read a lot of books about motorcycles?" Liam asked, obviously confused.

"I **do** , but that's different," Shepard explained, "Those are mostly diagrams. There ain't a lot of words in them."

"Maybe you need glasses?" The older boy suggested as Shepard shook his head.

"I don't think so. I mean, I see just fine. It just gets blurry if I read too long," the blue-eyed boy said as he chewed at his bottom lip, "I can't read fast neither. Maybe I'm just stupid, and my brain can't register what the hell I'm looking at. I just don't know."

"I'll help you, so no worries, eh," Liam assured him with a wink.

"Thanks," Shepard said as he smiled brightly at the older boy. "It might sound stupid, but can you read the chapter to me?"

"Really? That's all you need?" The older boy asked with a chuckle.

"Well, yeah," The blonde shrugged as he turned to look at the kelly-green-eyed boy. "If I don't understand something, I'll ask you about it."

"Ah, you're an auditory learner," the older boy said with the confidence of a teacher.

"I'm a what now?" Shepard asked in confusion.

The green-eyed boy broke out in laughter. "It means that you can remember things better if you hear them."

"Oh…" The blue-eyed boy said as he considered the possibility. "Maybe. I dunno."

"It doesn't matter," Liam smiled. "Just hand me your book, and I'll read the chapter to you."

The younger boy promptly sat up and dug through his pack for the history book. "Here. It's chapter ten."

"Gotcha," the older boy nodded as he opened the book and finally started reading.

After thirty-five minutes of reading and explaining, Liam was certain that his young friend had understood the chapter well-enough to pass any test that might come up tomorrow.

"I think you got it, Joh— I mean, Shepard," the older boy corrected. "Now, it's your turn to help me."

"Okay, but I ain't very smart," Shepard warned as he plopped back on the bed.

"I don't believe that," Liam admitted. "Besides, I just need your assistance with a few math problems."

"Okay. I don't know how useful I'll be, but I'll give it a shot," the young blonde offered.

Liam laughed warmly. "I just need you to use the calculator to make sure I got the right answer."

"So, you don't really **need** my help," Shepard noted.

"True," Liam explained, "But I **want** your help."

"Alright," the blue-eyed boy nodded as he took the calculator from the older boy's hand, "Let's get it done, I guess."

After about an hour, the boys had completed their homework, and Shepard had nodded off slightly, causing the older boy to stare.

"You look so peaceful when you're like this, Shepard," the older boy whispered as he brushed a stray blonde hair from the younger boy's brow.

The touch, though light, was just enough to make the younger boy stir.

"Did I fall asleep?" Shepard asked with an apologetic look.

"Don't worry about it," the older boy insisted. "You looked tired before, so I just let you nap a bit."

"Appreciated," the younger boy grinned. "Hey, you have a cell phone, right?"

"Uh, yeah," Liam answered truthfully. "Why?"

"Do you think I could use it to call my friend?" Shepard asked quietly.

"Sure," the older boy agreed as he handed Shepard his phone. 

"Thanks," the blonde gave Liam a nod as he quickly dialed Aaron's number.

"Hello," a distinctly female voice answered, causing Shepard to jump in surprise.

"Um, hello. I-is Aaron there?" The blue-eyed boy asked nervously.

"Who's this?" The girl asked curiously.

"Um, it's J," Shepard replied.

"Who?" The girl questioned in an annoyed voice.

"J Shepard. May I please speak to Aaron?" The blonde boy requested once more.

"Look, this is Aaron's girlfriend, and I've never heard of you," the girl snapped, "So, **J** , or whatever your name is—"

Shepard could hear Aaron in the background, struggling to take his phone from the girl.

"Elise, what the hell! Who told you to answer my goddamn phone!?" Aaron yelled as the struggle continued.

"If you don't want me to answer the damn phone, then don't leave it out like that!" Elise screamed back as Aaron finally gained control of his phone.

"J! Is that you?" Aaron asked, obviously excited to be hearing from his J. "You didn't call last week. You really had me worried, yeah."

"Yeah, sorry about that," the young blonde frowned at the thought of upsetting his friend. "I got a temporary placement, and I didn't get to call. I'm okay, though. I won't be able to see you for a while, but I'll call whenever I can."

"That sucks, J," the older boy replied in a disappointed tone, "Ryan and I were hoping to see you this weekend. We were gonna skate, yeah."

"Yeah, I really want to," Shepard replied honestly, "But I don't think I'll be able to do that."

Aaron sighed heavily, "I understand. Just make sure you call me at least once a week. You hear me, J?"

"I hear you," the young blonde chuckled. "So, Elise is still your girlfriend?"

"Yeah," Aaron replied in a less than enthusiastic tone. "It's complicated. I got some new piercings."

"Of course you did," Shepard replied in a slightly annoyed tone. "What kind did you get?"

Aaron laughed at his J. "I can feel your disapproval through the phone, J. Anyway, I got snake bites. And I think they look pretty cool."

"You would," Shepard laughed a genuine laugh that melted Aaron's heart.

"That's my J," Aaron replied, unable to hide his amusement. 

Shepard could hear Elise whining in the background, and knew that Aaron would have to cut the call short.

"Aaron…" Elise groaned, "You promised that we'd go to the movies!"

"I gotta go, J," Aaron said in an unhappy tone, "Call me again soon, eh."

"I will. Say, 'hi' to Ryan for me," Shepard requested.

"Will do," Aaron promised. "Love you, J."

"Love you too, Aaron," the young blonde replied softly as he reluctantly ended the call.

"Who was that?" Liam asked as he placed the phone back on the nightstand.

"My best friend," Shepard answered honestly. 

"Sounds like you two get along pretty well," the older boy said.

"We do," the younger boy grinned as he stretched his arms above his head, showing a sliver of his well-toned abdomen.

"Damn, you're fucking ripped," Liam blurted out before realizing, causing the younger boy to break out laughing.

"Yeah. I work out a bit for hockey. You know, so I don't get rusty," Shepard explained, "And I can't deny that it's mostly genetic."

"Was your dad muscular as well?" The older boy asked, unable to take his eyes off the young blue-eyed boy.

Shepard's smile quickly faded, and Liam immediately regretted asking the question.

"I'm sorry! That was thoughtless of me," the older boy apologized, embarrassed at his lack of tact.

"That's alright," the younger boy assured. "Truth is, I don't know who my dad is, or my mom for that matter. All I know is my name, and I guess I'm lucky to know that. I just assumed my body was genetic 'cause I never really work all that hard on it."

"Well, then, it must be genetic," Liam agreed as he tried to put the insensitive comment behind him. "But, I bet you aren't giving yourself enough credit. I mean, you work out in your room all the time."

Shepard cocked his head to the side, his blue eyes shining curiously, "How did you know that?"

Liam's face turned bright red in embarrassment, "W-w-well, you see… I kinda accidentally walked in on you once, but you were kinda zoned out. You seemed to be in your own little world, so I just shut the door and left."

"Was I talking to myself?" The young blonde asked, hoping that his new friend didn't think he was crazy.

"Well, yeah," Liam answered truthfully, "But doesn't everyone from time to time. I mean, you seemed to have a lot on your mind. It's only normal to try to sort things out."

Shepard was surprised by the boy's answer. "I guess."

"Shepard, can I ask you a question?" Liam asked, unable to look the young blonde directly in the eye.

"Uh-huh," the blue-eyed boy answered with a nod.

"About what that kid said today…" The older boy asked nervously, "Was it true? I mean, do you really like boys?"

Shepard tensed at the question, "Uh, yeah. I do, actually. Does it bother you?"

"NO! I mean, no, not at all," Liam replied as his face reddened in embarrassment. "I'm sorry if my question made you uncomfortable."

"That's okay," Shepard grinned. "It didn't bother me."

"Good," the older boy smiled, relieved that the younger boy hadn't been offended.

"Well, I'm pretty tired," Shepard admitted as he rose to his feet. "I'm gonna go get some sleep. See you tomorrow."

"Yeah… See you tomorrow," Liam whispered as the young blonde left the room.

**~~~☆~~~**

In the weeks that followed, Liam found himself unable to take his eyes off the young blonde. No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't contain his attraction for the younger boy. And he often wondered if maybe, Shepard felt the same.

"Shepard! What the hell are you doing out here?" The older boy asked as he watched the young blonde laughing in the rain like a madman. "It's freaking pouring out here! Why don't you come inside?"

"Why? This rain feels fucking amazing," Shepard replied as he spun 'round and 'round under the deluge. "It feels so goddamn clean! Can't you feel it?"

Liam couldn't help but laugh at the beautiful blue-eyed boy. "You know if my parents were home, they'd never allow you to dance in the rain."

"Good thing they ain't here," the blonde laughed as he took Liam by the hands and dragged him out into the rain with him.

"Shit, that's cold," the older boy squealed as the chilly rain beat down upon him.

"Don't be a pussy," Shepard teased as he urged the older boy to join him in his revelry. "The rain makes me feel clean, and it's been so fucking long since I've felt clean!"

"You're crazy," the green-eyed boy laughed, confused as to what the younger boy had meant.

"I know," the blue-eyed boy admitted as he opened his arms and looked to the sky.

Liam had never seen the blonde so happy. 'He's so fucking beautiful,' Liam thought as his eyes wandered to the soaked shirt now clinging to the younger boy's incredibly toned body.

Shepard, noticing where the boy's eyes were fixed, quickly removed his shirt and tossed it to the side, revealing his well-toned chest to the older boy.

"Come here," Shepard demanded as he held out a hand to the older boy.

The older boy slowly closed the gap, and before long, he was touching the younger boy's chest, fascinated with how the muscles jumped under his touch. "Can I kiss you?" Liam mumbled. 

"What," Shepard asked, unable to hear him over the sound of the rain.

"CAN I KISS YOU?" The older boy repeated as loud as he could.

The younger boy smiled fondly at the older boy, "Are you really sure you want to kiss me?"

Liam nodded as he spoke, "I wouldn't have asked if I wasn't."

"Okay then," Shepard replied as he kissed the older boy gently on the mouth, only deepening the kiss when the older boy's tongue begged for entrance.

The kiss was long and languid, and Liam was getting drunk on it.

"I could kiss you forever," Liam grinned as he ran his hand down the blonde's chest.

"We should get inside," Shepard suggested. "Your parents will be home soon."

"Y-yeah," the older boy reluctantly agreed as he took the younger boy by the hand, and led him slowly towards the house.

Liam led Shepard to his room and quietly shut the door.

"Do you need a towel?" The older boy asked nervously, "Because I need a towel."

"Nah, I'm good," Shepard grinned as Liam continued to stare at the water dripping down the blonde's chest. "I should go get my sweats. My jeans are soaked."

"I have a pair of sweats in my drawer," Liam insisted as he dried his hair with a towel.

"Alright," the younger boy smiled as he waited for Liam to reach him the sweatpants.

"Here you go," the older boy said as he handed the sweats to the boy.

"Thanks," Shepard grinned as he quickly removed the rest of his wet clothes.

Liam couldn't help but stare at the boy's naked body — impressed by the beauty of it.

"You **really** don't look twelve," Liam pointed out, "Hell, you don't look fourteen either. You look more like sixteen."

Shepard laughed at the boy's words. "I don't look that old."

"I think you do," the older boy mumbled.

"Thanks for the sweats," the younger boy said with a grin.

"Can I touch you?" Liam asked, shocking the younger boy with his forwardness.

"You mean, like 'touch me' or like ' **touch-touch** **me** '?" Shepard asked, unsure of just how far the older boy was willing to explore.

"Would you let me, you know, ' **touch-touch** ' you?" The older boy asked, unable to meet the blonde's gaze.

Shepard's body tensed as he considered the older boy's request. 'Do I really want him to?'

_'I think a part of you does, but a big part of you is scared to death. I don't care what you do, just as long as you don't lose your shit,'_ the voice replied.

'I need to know,' Shepard thought.

_'You need to know what? You lost me.'_

'I need to know if I can. I don't wanna be scared all the time. I can't explain it. I just need to know,' Shepard thought as he nervously chewed his lip.

_'Then do it, but don't push too far. You hear me?'_

"Okay," the young blonde whispered as the older boy led him to the bed.

Liam's touch wasn't unpleasant, and much to Shepard's surprise, other than the occasional kiss, the older boy never asked for anything in return.

"Boys, we're home," Carolyn called out, causing the boys to scramble for their clothing.

"I should go to my room," Shepard suggested as he pulled a t-shirt over his head.

"Y-yeah," Liam replied awkwardly. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Shepard just nodded as he made his way to his room.

**~~~☆~~~**

In the weeks that followed, Shepard and Liam continued to experiment with each other. With each boy becoming bolder with their affections. The older boy's reaction when the young blonde had first taken him into his mouth was priceless, and Shepard would never forget the look of euphoria on the older boy's face when he came. It had somehow empowered the young blonde. The knowledge that he could have that kind of effect on someone had made Shepard extremely happy and just a little bit proud.

"Liam, shouldn't we stop?" The blue-eyed boy suggested with a moan as the older boy continued to grind against his willing body. "Won't your mom be home soon."

"We still have time," the older boy assured him as he decided to take the blue-eyed boy in hand. "I love the feel of it."

Shepard laughed affectionately at the older boy, "It's a dick, yours ain't all that different."

"You're wrong," Liam argued as he kissed the inside of Shepard's thigh, "Yours is so much more attractive than mine."

The young blonde chuckled at his friend, "You're so freakin' weird."

"I wonder what you taste like," the older boy mused as he continued to stroke the blonde's flesh. "Would it be okay if I tried?"

"Uh-huh," Shepard nodded as he softly spoke, "Don't try to take too much, and if it makes you feel uncomfortable, then stop, okay."

"You really are an odd one. You know that right," Liam teased as he slowly took Shepard into his mouth.

The young blonde's breath heightened with every flick of the older boy's tongue. 

"You taste kinda sweet, but a little salty at the same time," the older boy mused as he licked the tip, "It's so strange."

The older boy became a bit overzealous, and soon Shepard heard a distinct gagging sound. "Whoa! Ease up," the young blonde instructed as he pulled the older boy off him. "Are you alright?"

" _Cough, cough…_ Y-yeah, I think so," the older boy replied, slightly shaken, but unharmed. "I just wanted to do it right. You know, like how you do it."

Shepard's brow furrowed. "You don't need to be like me. Just be you, okay. You were doing fine, really," the blue-eyed boy assured the older boy.

"You're not mad that I can't—" Liam asked as his words were cut off by Shepard.

"Of course not," the young blonde replied as he kissed the older boy softly.

"Do you mind if I try again," Liam asked. "I promise I won't try to do what you do."

"I don't mind," Shepard smiled. "Just don't do anything you don't want to do."

"You know, sometimes you say the strangest things," the older boy chuckled as he once again took the young blonde into his mouth.

"Boys, I'm ho—" Carolyn announced as she casually opened the bedroom door, freezing in shock at the scene before her: Her fourteen-year-old son on the bed naked, with their young charge's penis in his mouth. "Liam, what the hell are you doing!? Get off him!"

Liam jumped in terror as his mother quickly yanked him from the bed. "Mom, I can explain!"

"He's twelve years old, Liam! What the hell were you thinking!?" Carolyn cried as she tried to make sense of the situation.

"It wasn't Liam's fault," Shepard cried out as he tried to defend his friend. 

"Liam, put your clothes on, and go downstairs," Carolyn instructed as she placed a sheet over the younger boy's naked body.

"But it was my fault! I'm the gay one! Liam was only curious. I talked him into it," the blue-eyed boy lied, hoping to get his friend off the hook, "It was me. I touched him first!"

The brunette lady's kelly-green eyes went wide with shock and disbelief at the young blonde's words. "You… touched him first? You initiated it?"

Shepard just nodded silently, afraid to look the woman in the eye.

"Is that true, Liam?" The older boy's mother asked.

"No, he's lying," Liam admitted as he finished dressing.

"Liam, go downstairs now and wait for me," Carolyn instructed as her son made his way out of the room. "Johnny, tell me the truth. Did Liam touch you first?"

"It was me," the blue-eyed boy insisted as he did his best to avoid Carolyn's gaze.

"Look at me, Johnny," the green-eyed woman demanded as she continued to study the young boy.

Shepard reluctantly raised his head to meet her gaze.

"Did Liam touch you first?"

"He asked, but I told him it was okay. So, it wasn't his fault," the young blonde pleaded.

"Oh, Johnny," Carolyn cried as she took Shepard into her arms, her heart aching for the boy. "Are you hurt? He didn't — how do I say it? He didn't put anything inside you, did he?"

"No," Shepard answered truthfully.

"Oh, thank god!" Carolyn exclaimed, relieved that her son hadn't taken it that far.

"Please don't be mad at Liam," the young blonde begged, "He really didn't do anything wrong. I swear he didn't."

"It's okay," Carolyn said as she tried to comfort the boy. "Don't worry about Liam. He'll be fine. I'll make sure of it. I’ll get you somewhere safe. I promise."

"But nobody hurt me," Shepard tried desperately to explain, "I wanted him to."

"I know, Johnny," Carolyn said softly as she stroked his dark-blonde hair. "I know you think that, but what Liam did was wrong. Do you understand, sweetheart?"

"No, I don't. I'm sorry," the blue-eyed boy answered truthfully.

"That's okay, Johnny," Carolyn assured as she gently rose to her feet. "I need to call Shawn. Go on and get dressed, baby. You can go to your room when you're dressed, and I'll be in to check on you soon. Okay."

"Okay," Shepard whispered as Carolyn made her way downstairs.

**~~~☆~~~**

"I got your message, sweetie," Shawn called out as he entered the house, "What's the emergency? Are the boys okay?"

"Shawn, we need to talk," Carolyn said solemnly. "In private."

Liam could see his parents from his seat on the couch, and although he couldn't hear what was said, he could tell by his father's facial expressions that he was in deep trouble. 

In the blink of an eye, the green-eyed boy felt the sting of his father's hand across his face.

"What the fuck is wrong with you!? He's a goddamn child," Shawn raged as he struggled with the situation.

"He isn't a child!" Liam argued.

"For fuck's sake, Liam, he's twelve years old," the older man screamed. 

"I don't care how old he is. He isn't a child! In fact, I'll bet he knows more about sex than you do," the green-eyed boy yelled.

"That's because he was abused, Liam! He doesn't understand that it's wrong," Shawn explained. "But you **know** that sex with a twelve-year-old is wrong!"

"Dad, I'm only **fourteen** ," Liam reminded his father. "Everything we did was totally consensual! You guys are just pissed that I was experimenting with a guy!"

"Liam, you know that isn't true," Carolyn responded, upset that her child would ever think that.

"Son, we don't care if you're gay, straight, bi, or whatever," Shawn assured his son. "Our main concern here is Johnny. His psyche is fragile, Liam. Even if it was 100% consensual, Johnny is in no way ready for a sexual relationship."

"You don't know that! He was more mature about it than most adults, Dad," the green-eyed boy argued. "I just don't think anyone has the right to choose for him."

"Liam, if you only knew what that boy has been through, you would understand our concern," Carolyn explained.

"Mom, I'm telling you, he's fine," Liam said, unwilling to believe his parents.

"He can't stay here," Shawn announced, "At this point, it would just do more harm than good."

"I've already contacted the group home," Carolyn informed her husband. "They'll be here by eight to pick him up. I already talked to Johnny. He's packing his things now."

"You can't do that! He's my friend, and we didn't do anything wrong," Liam cried.

"Enough, Liam," Shawn shouted loudly, "If you truly give a damn about this boy, then be a man and let him go!"

"You don't understand, Dad," Liam said with tears in his eyes, "I don't think I can."

"I'm sorry, baby," Carolyn said as she hugged her son to her chest, "But you have to let him go, for his sake as well as your own. You'll understand one day."

Eight o'clock came quicker than Liam had expected, and it pained him to see his friend go.

"I'm sorry, Shepard," Liam whispered as he hugged the blue-eyed boy tightly. "It's all my fault."

"No, it isn't. It's mine," Shepard replied quietly, "Thanks for being my friend."

"Can I kiss you one last time?" Liam asked as tears fell from his kelly-green eyes.

Shepard smiled as he leaned in and kissed the older boy softly. "Don't ever do anything that you're not ready for, and you'll be fine."

"It was a joy to have you in our home, Johnny," Shawn said as he and Carolyn hugged the boy goodbye. 

"We'll miss you, Johnny," Carolyn said as she kissed the boy's cheek.

"Thank you for letting me stay. I'm sorry I caused you trouble," the young blonde apologized as he picked up his pack.

"It's fine, Johnny. Don't worry about it," Shawn assured the young boy.

"Goodbye, Liam. See ya around," Shepard called out with a wave as he followed the social worker out of the house and back to the system.

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally a happy chapter. :)
> 
> Thanks for reading. Opinions and suggestions are always welcome.


	10. Just a Kiss?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The universe works in mysterious ways. Someone from Shepard's distant past re-enters his life, and the unexpected happens.
> 
> No warnings for this chapter.

**Three months later —**

"I fucking warned you to stay out of my goddamn pack," the young blonde growled, his blue eyes glowing in anger as he stood over the battered thief.

"I won't do it again," the boy cried as the blood poured from his freshly broken nose, "Just, please, don't hit me again!"

Shepard clicked his tongue as he retrieved his stolen belongings from the young thief's drawer.

"Where the hell is my puck?" The young blonde asked in an irritated tone. 

"Huh? I-I don't know," the young thief admitted nervously.

"Whattaya mean, you 'don't know'?" Shepard snapped. "You took it from my pack when you took my medals!"

"I-I gave it to Elliot," the boy explained, "He wanted it. Said he'd give me ten bucks for it! So, I sold it to him."

"So, Elliot has my puck," the blue-eyed boy sighed as he rubbed his face in frustration. "Why the hell would he want an old hockey puck?" 

"I-I don't know! He never said, and I never asked," the young thief admitted.

"If you're lying, I'm gonna come back and beat your ass again," Shepard threatened. "Are we clear?"

"Crystal, dude," the boy nodded. "I swear I ain't lying! You can go ask Elliot!"

"Oh, I intend to," the young blonde assured as he made his way back to his room.

Shepard scanned the room, searching for the older boy, but Elliot was nowhere to be found.

'Of course, he wouldn't be here,' the blue-eyed boy thought as he returned his stolen medals to their rightful place in his pack.

 _'I don't get it. I mean, what the hell would a guy like Elliot want with an old hockey puck?'_ The voice asked in confusion.

'Don't know, don't care. I just want it back,' Shepard replied silently.

_'Yeah, well, good fuckin' luck finding him. He's hardly ever around in the daytime.'_

'Oh, I'll find him. Trust me.'

Shepard spent half the morning searching the building for the older boy but had no luck. 

"Johnny Shepard, come here this instant," the director demanded as Shepard rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"Yes, I hit the kid. No, I'm not sorry. Yes, I would do it again. And the reason for the fight was because the kid's a goddamn thief," the blue-eyed boy replied in annoyance. "Did that answer all of your questions, or did I miss one?"

"You know, it's downright scary that you have them memorized," Phillip said as he shook his head at the young blonde. "Look... because he stole from you, I'm not going to punish you for hitting him. But, I absolutely forbid you to go near that section. Do you understand?"

"Fine," Shepard agreed quickly, "Just make sure the thief stays away from my section, and we'll be golden."

"Already done," Phillip assured, "He won't be bothering you again."

"Hey, have you seen Elliot," the blonde asked, determined to find the older boy before nightfall.

"Elliot got permission to go out today," the director said as he rubbed his bald-head in nervous habit. "He'll be back before curfew. He always is."

"Do you know where he went?" Shepard asked as he chewed his lip slightly.

"Yes, he went out on a date," Phillip grinned, "To the movies, if I'm not mistaken."

"Can I have permission to go to the movies?" The young blonde inquired with his most charming smile.

"Shepard, you were just reprimanded for fighting," the bald man chuckled, amused by the boldness of the young man, "There's no way in hell that I'm giving you permission to go anywhere today. You're just going to have to wait for Elliot to return."

"But, I need to talk to him now," Shepard begged, "He has something of mine, and I need to get it back."

"You're in the same unit. You can get it back from him tonight," Phillip insisted.

"Fine, I guess I'll just have to wait," the blue-eyed boy pouted.

"Have fun waiting," Phillip teased. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some paperwork to do."

**~~~☆~~~**

**Later that night —**

"Yo, Elliot," a young auburn-haired boy called out as the elusive dark-haired boy passed by, "Shepard's looking for you, and he seems pissed."

"Oh, yeah," Elliot grinned as his mischievous chocolate-brown eyes twinkled in amusement, "You know where I can find him?"

"He was in the dorm, but he ain't there no more," the auburn-haired boy explained. 

"Alright. Can you tell me where he is?" Elliot asked in annoyance.

"Maybe, if you pay me five bucks," the boy offered with a sneaky grin.

"Jesus, Jamie," the brunette sighed as he fished out a blue bill and handed it to the enterprising young man, "Happy? Now, tell me where the fuck I can find him."

"He's in the infirmary," Jamie informed him with a smile.

"What the hell is he doing there? Did someone attack him or something?" The older boy asked in a slightly concerned manner.

"What do you care? He was probably gonna kick your ass anyway," the auburn-haired boy teased.

"Jamie — shut the fuck up and answer me," Elliot demanded, growing sick of the boy's games.

"Alright, alright. Chill, dude. He got one of them really bad headaches he gets. You know, the ones where his eye gets all weird and shit. Yeah, rumour has it, he had one of them seizures too. But I didn't see no seizure."

"Well, shit," the brown-eyed boy whispered as he made his way to the dorm.

**~~~☆~~~**

It was eleven-thirty, and, still, Shepard had not returned to his bed. 

"Shit, maybe he really did have a seizure," the older boy thought aloud as he stared at the empty bed beside him.

Just as Elliot gave up and turned on his side, he heard the distinct sound of sheets rustling. Knowing, undoubtedly, that it had to be Shepard — he shifted, so he was facing the young blonde's bed. 

With barely a sound, the young blonde quickly removed his shirt and crawled into bed, quickly turning on his right side, leaving him face-to-face with Elliot.

'I wonder if he knows I'm awake,' Elliot pondered as he continued to stare at the blonde.

"I need to talk to you, Elliot," Shepard whispered, just loud enough for the older boy to hear.

'I guess that answered my question. That boy must have cat eyes or something,' Elliot mused as he began to speak. "What about?" The older boy whispered.

"You have something of mine, and I want it back," the blue-eyed boy growled under his breath.

"Can we talk about it tomorrow?" The brown-eyed boy asked.

"I don't know. Are you gonna be here when I wake up, or will you be gone as usual?"

Elliot chuckled lightly, "I'll be here. Don't worry."

"You better be," Shepard replied as he rolled onto his back and closed his sapphire eyes.

"Oh, I will be," the older boy grinned as he rolled onto his other side.

That morning, Elliot was true to his word and was sitting on his bed, waiting for the young blonde to wake from sleep.

"You finally awake?" The brown-eyed boy asked as Shepard's sapphire-blue eyes fluttered open.

"You're still here, huh," the blonde replied in surprise. "It's a miracle."

"I said I would be, didn't I," the older boy chuckled.

"Yeah, well, you better be here when I get back," the younger boy warned as he made his way to the washroom.

Once Shepard's morning routine was finished, he made his way back to the dorm. His brow arched in surprise as he watched the older boy making a bed, but not just any bed — Shepard's bed.

"What the hell are you doing?" Shepard asked in a slightly amused tone.

"Making your bed, duh," Elliot replied as he finished the final touches.

"You didn't have to do that," the blonde informed him.

"I wanted to," the older boy said with a wink. "I thought that, since you were feeling sick yesterday, that, **maybe** , you didn't feel like making the bed. So, I did it for you. I'm a giver, you know."

"Uh-huh," Shepard replied in a disbelieving tone.

"What? You don't believe me?" Elliot chuckled.

"Nope," the young blonde replied honestly.

"Whatever," the older boy said as he shook his head in amusement. "So, you wanted to talk to me?" 

"I did, actually," Shepard said as he cocked his head to the side, "I believe you have something of mine. I want it back."

"I have no idea what you're talking about?" Elliot lied as he tried to feign innocence.

"Cut the bullshit! The resident thief told me that he sold it to you," Shepard snapped, "And I want it back!"

"Okay, okay. Keep your voice down," Elliot said as he began walking to the door. "Don't just stand there, follow me."

Shepard sighed as he followed the older boy out of the room — stopping, only, when they came to an empty room.

"Okay. So, here's the deal," Elliot explained, "I do, indeed, have your property. And I will gladly return it — on one condition."

"Dude, just give me the goddamn puck," Shepard demanded.

"Nope," the older boy replied, shaking his head for emphasis. "Not unless you agree to play hockey for me on Friday."

"What?" The young blonde asked, confused by the strange request.

"You heard me," Elliot grinned, "Agree to play hockey, and the puck is yours."

"You could have just asked me," Shepard replied as he rolled his eyes in frustration.

"I would have, but I was afraid I'd get bitten," Elliot grinned.

"What?" The blonde boy asked, confused by the boy's words.

"Don't worry about it, Shepard," the older boy chuckled, "Anyway, do we have a deal or not?"

"Deal, now give me my goddamn puck," Shepard demanded.

"Here," Elliot grinned as he handed the puck to the younger boy.

"Finally," the young blonde exclaimed as a wave of relief poured over him.

"Why is that old thing so important to you?" Elliot asked curiously.

"None of your goddamn business," Shepard snapped.

"Okay, okay," the older boy chuckled, amused by the younger boy. "A little cranky, aren't you?"

"Yep," the young blonde admitted as he turned to walk away.

"Hold up," Elliot called out, causing the younger boy to turn around. "Are you doing okay?"

"What do you mean?" The blue-eyed boy asked, unsure of what the boy meant.

"You were in the infirmary last night, weren't you?" The older boy asked.

"Yeah, so," the blonde answered defensively.

"Did you have a seizure, or something?" Elliot inquired.

"No. I ain't had a seizure in like two months," Shepard replied, slightly annoyed by the question. "Who told you I had a seizure?"

"Jamie. But, he said it was just a rumour," the older boy explained.

"Yeah, a rumour that **he** started," the blue-eyed boy snapped. "What the fuck does it matter if I had a seizure or not? It ain't important."

"If you didn't have a seizure, then why were you there?" The older boy asked, genuinely curious about the young blonde's health.

"Well, since you wanna know so goddamn bad, I’ll tell you. I had a bad cluster headache, and my left eye started to swell a little. Nothing major," Shepard explained. 

"Oh. Are you feeling any better today?" Elliot asked sympathetically.

"I was," Shepard admitted, "But I can feel another one coming on. I should be good by Friday, so don't worry about it. They never last for more than a couple of days at a time."

"Well, just be sure to get some rest before Friday, eh," Elliot grinned, "I need you at your best."

"Uh-huh," Shepard replied as he turned and left the older boy behind.

**~~~☆~~~**

**Friday evening —**

"You ready to go, Shepard?" Elliot asked as he put on his coat, "I already got permission, so we can leave anytime."

"Yeah," the blonde answered simply.

"Where's your gear?" The older boy asked.

"Gear? I ain't got no gear. Where the hell would I keep it?" Shepard replied in annoyance.

"But I thought you were this great hockey player! I mean, that's what they all say," Elliot said in a slight panic. "What kinda hockey player doesn't have gear?"

"A poor one, you prick," the blue-eyed boy replied truthfully.

"What the hell are we gonna do?" The brown-eyed boy asked as he ran a nervous hand through his hair.

"Relax! My friend is gonna meet us there," Shepard assured the worried brunette, "He lends me his gear so I can play."

"Seriously," the older boy said, "Remind me to thank him later."

"Can we just go, please?" The blue-eyed boy asked eagerly.

"Sure," Elliot said with a grin as he opened the door for the younger boy, "After you."

Shepard rolled his eyes as they made their way to the rink.

**~~~☆~~~**

"So, where's this friend of yours?" The brown-eyed boy asked nervously.

"Relax, he'll be here," the young blonde insisted. "So, who will I be playing with?"

"Some guys I know. They're all pretty good, so don't worry about it," Elliot grinned.

" _Sigh—_ Whatever you say," Shepard replied, "And the team we're playing against, what about them?"

"They're good, really good. That's why I needed a ringer," the older boy explained.

"So, you're gambling," the blue-eyed boy said as he shook his head in annoyance. "I figured that's what it was."

"You got a problem with that?" Elliot asked.

"Nope," Shepard replied. "But if we win, I want a cut."

The older boy blinked in surprise. "O-okay. I did not expect that. Tell you what, if you dominate the game, I'll consider it."

The blonde boy laughed as he spoke. "Well, if you don't agree now, then there won't be any domination, 'cause I'll throw the goddamn game."

"You're bluffing," the brown-eyed boy replied, "There's no way you'd do that. It'd ruin your reputation on the ice."

"What reputation?" Shepard asked with a chuckle. "I ain't got no way to play professionally, so what do I care what a bunch of beer leaguers think."

"Y-you're serious," Elliot said, shocked by the boy's stubbornness. "You are so damn stubborn!"

"You better make up your mind," the younger boy said as he motioned to the small group that had just entered the building. "'Cause it looks like they're here."

"Fine, Shepard! You win! I'll split it with you," the older boy agreed, shaking his head in defeat.

"Nice doing business with you," the younger boy grinned as his blue eyes glittered in amusement. "Looks like my friend's here. I'll go get ready. Make sure the team’s ready, and I'll be back in a few."

"Yeah, you better hurry back, Shepard," the brown-eyed boy yelled out as the younger boy made his way towards his friend.

"Got your gear, J," the green-eyed boy announced as he lifted the bag for emphasis. "Let's go get you suited up, yeah."

Shepard grinned as he followed his green-eyed friend to the locker room. "Is Ryan coming?"

"Yep, he'll be here later," Aaron replied as Shepard nodded in response. 

Once Shepard was fully suited up, he and Aaron made their way towards the other players.

"Shepard, you'll be playing on the red team," Elliot explained, frowning when he saw the younger boy's black jersey. "Does anyone have an extra red jersey?"

Aaron immediately took off his coat to reveal a red jersey underneath. "Here, J, trade jerseys with me, yeah."

"Aaron, that's one of your team jerseys, I couldn't wear that. What if I mess it up?" The young blonde replied nervously.

"I don't mind, J," the green-eyed boy replied as he removed the jersey and offered it to his J. "You wanna hurry and give me yours? I'm freezing here."

Shepard was certain that he had been caught staring at Aaron's chest, and his face grew red in embarrassment. 

"Y-yeah, sorry," the blue-eyed boy mumbled as he lifted the black jersey from his head, handing it to his green-eyed friend, before replacing it with the red one.

"My jersey looks good on you, yeah," Aaron grinned with a wink.

Shepard just smiled as Elliot looked on in annoyance.

"Yeah, yeah," the brown-eyed boy said as he rolled his eyes at the two boys. "Shepard is playing centre. No complaints! He's a master of that position, so just trust me. Now to introduce the team that you guys will be playing against…" 

Elliot waved the other team over, and Aaron immediately recognized one of the players.

"Elias," Aaron exclaimed. "You're playing!?"

"Yep," Elias grinned. "Don't worry, Hayes, I'll be good to go for the team — this is just practise for me."

Aaron laughed at his teammate. "Whatever you say. Just don't try to keep up with my J. I wouldn't want you to get hurt," Aaron teased as he threw his arm around Shepard.

Elias laughed arrogantly, "Oh, please, Hayes! Your little pet faggot isn't fit to tie my skates, and you know it."

Aaron laughed at Elias's words. "Is that the best chirp you got, Kellam? Pathetic. Kick his ass, J," Aaron said as he touched his forehead to Shepard's.

"Just watch me," the blue-eyed boy promised with a grin, "I'm gonna skate circles around him."

"That's my J!"

"Everybody ready?" Elliot asked, eager to get things started, "All non-players off the ice."

Once all the non-players were off the ice, the real game began. And just as Shepard had promised, he outsmarted Kellam at every opportunity, often leaving the veteran hockey player looking clumsy and somewhat foolish.

**~~~☆~~~**

"Damn, Baby Boy is really making Elias look bad," Ryan said as he took a seat next to his closest friend. 

"He really is," Aaron grinned in amusement, "That's not really a surprise, though. Where have you been, by the way?"

"I had a date," the grey-eyed boy grinned.

"Uh-huh," the green-eyed boy grinned as he rolled his eyes at his friend. "You mean you had a hook-up."

"Yep, he was hot as hell! Let me tell ya," Ryan replied, "The sex was good too. Not great, but good. Know what I mean?"

"I guess," Aaron chuckled. 

"I think I'm finally gonna break things off with Maddie," the grey-eyed boy announced suddenly.

"Yeah," the green-eyed boy replied, a little shocked by the announcement, "I think that's great if that's what you really want, eh."

"I think she knows. I mean, she **has** to know, right," Ryan mused.

"I dunno. What makes you think she knows?" Aaron asked.

"Like, my phone was buzzing, and she was like, 'Ryan, your ' **special friend's** ' calling.' " Ryan explained. "I was like, 'what the fuck?'"

Aaron nearly choked on his water. "What did you say back to her?"

"Nothing," Ryan admitted, "I mean, what could I say? Looking back, I think that maybe she was giving me an out. You know what I mean?"

"Well, Maddie's a nice girl. So, I don't think she'll, like, out you to your parents or anything," Aaron assured him.

"Elise is the one that worries me. If Maddie tells her, I’m toast," Ryan explained, "I mean, no offence to you, but your girl is a massive cunt."

Aaron laughed as he nodded his head in agreement, "She can be a bitch. That's for sure. And she's homophobic as fuck. Ever since she found out J's gay, she's treated him like garbage. She even pretends not to know him when he calls. But she's not the only one. Greg, Elias, and Shayna, they’re all just as bad. Ava seems cool, though. At least she seems cool with J."

"Yeah, that's another thing that gets me," Ryan admitted, "What if Maddie tells one of them? I'll be screwed."

"I seriously don't think she'd do that," Aaron assured his friend, "In fact, I'm positive she won't. So, just go with your heart. And even if it all goes to shit, you'll still have me and J."

"Yeah," Ryan smiled softly, grateful to have a friend that cared so much. "Thanks, Aaron. You know I love you, right? You and Shepard. You guys mean a lot to me, ya know…"

"I love you too, dude," Aaron said truthfully, "You're like a brother to me. Hell, you are a brother to me."

"Did you see that!? Goddamn, that boy can play," Ryan yelled out, breaking the heaviness of the moment as he stood up to cheer the young blonde on.

"Shit! I missed it," Aaron said as he stood to get a better look.

"It was so fucking good! He wasn't even looking at the puck, and he just knew where the damn thing was — like he's got ESP or something. Freaking unbelievable," Ryan praised.

"I can't believe I missed that! My J is really something, isn't he," Aaron praised with a look of pure affection on his handsome face.

Ryan looked at his friend, smiling at how happy he looked. "Yeah, he's really something, your J."

Once the game was over, Aaron and Ryan immediately made their way to Shepard and showered him with praise.

"Way to go, Baby Boy! Kellam will never live that down," Ryan grinned as he hugged the boy tight.

"He should have known not to mess with my J," Aaron grinned as he, too, hugged the boy.

"I pissed him off pretty bad, didn't I," Shepard admitted.

"He'll get over it," Ryan assured. "Let's go eat. I need food!"

"Of course you do," both Aaron and Shepard replied in unison, knowing their friend well.

"Well done, Shepard," Elliot praised as he counted the money he had collected on the win. "Here you go. As promised, here's your half."

"Appreciated," Shepard said with a nod as he gladly took his payment.

"Is this a friend of yours?" Ryan asked. "He can come and eat with us if he wants."

"Well, I wou—" Shepard started to reply before being cut off mid-sentence.

"Yep, we've known each other for years. And I'd love to eat with you guys," Elliot replied with a smile.

Shepard stared at the brown-eyed boy in confusion as he finished putting away his hockey gear.

"Let's get out of here then," Ryan insisted as they made their way to the exit.

As soon as they stepped outside, Shepard was struck hard on the left side of his head, effectively bringing him to one knee.

"J! J, are you okay," Aaron asked frantically, before turning his attention to the attacker — Elias Kellam. "Elias, you fucking asshole!"

In the blink of an eye, Aaron was on the boy, punching him hard in the face.

"I don't feel right," the young blonde whispered softly as his body crumpled and began to seize.

"Jesus," Ryan cried out as he knelt quickly by his young friend's side, "Aaron! Come quick! Something's wrong with J — he's seizing."

Aaron immediately stopped his assault and ran to the boy's side.

After rushing to take off his coat, he quickly placed it under the boy's head. "Ryan, I need you to pay attention to your watch, and let me know how long the seizure lasts."

"What the fuck! I didn't even hit him that hard! You can't blame me for this, Hayes," Elias whined, refusing to take responsibility for his actions.

"He's susceptible to concussion, you goddamn asshole," Ryan screamed while continuing to stare at his watch.

"Just get the fuck outta here, Kellam," Aaron yelled as he continued to watch over his J. "And stay the fuck away from **my** J!"

Kellam snorted as he turned and ran towards his car, leaving the parking lot in record time.

"I-is Shepard gonna be okay?" Elliot asked in a frightened voice.

"I don't know yet," Aaron answered truthfully, his green eyes full of fear.

"I think he's coming out of it, Aaron," Ryan said softly as Shepard's body finally went still.

"You're okay, J. I'm right here. You're fine," Aaron assured the blonde as he gently moved Shepard onto his side. "How long was it, Ryan?"

"About three minutes or so," Ryan answered as he took his phone from his pocket. "Should I call for help?"

"No. He's alright," Aaron assured as he stroked Shepard's dark-blonde hair, "They said as long as it didn't last over five minutes that he was fine."

"Shit, he was just getting over those fucking things, and that jackass had to go and hit him in the head," Ryan said in a disgusted tone.

"He had one like two months ago," the brown-eyed boy informed them, unsure whether the information was pertinent or not.

"Yeah?" Aaron asked as he continued to stroke the dark-blonde hair, "Do you know what triggered it?"

"No, sorry," Elliot apologized as he continued to stare at the young blonde.

"What happened?" Shepard asked, softly, as he tried to sit up.

"Whoa," Aaron said as he urged the younger boy to lie back down, "You had a small seizure, J. Elias hit you in the head, and you got sick. Remember?"

"No," Shepard admitted honestly, "I'm okay now, just tired."

"Are you sure, Baby Boy," Ryan asked, wanting to make sure his friend was okay.

"Yeah," the young blonde insisted as he slowly rose to his feet. "See, I'm fine."

Aaron just shook his head at his J.

"You look kinda wobbly to me," Ryan observed as he reached out to help stabilize the boy.

"I'll be alright in a few minutes," Shepard assured the grey-eyed boy, "Let's go eat, yeah."

"Are you sure you can eat?" Elliot asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine, really," the blue-eyed boy said in an annoyed voice.

"Okay, J," Aaron smiled as he held tightly to Shepard's waist, "We'll go eat, but I want you to lean on me until you feel better. You hear me?"

The younger boy nodded as the four boys made their way to the car.

**~~~☆~~~**

"You guys want to eat in or just drive-thru," Ryan asked as he pulled into the restaurant parking lot.

"Well, J, it's your call, yeah," Aaron informed the blonde, "Do you want to eat in, or would you rather eat outside so you can get some air?"

"Outside, please," Shepard replied, still feeling a bit tired.

"Drive-thru, it is," Ryan nodded as he pulled into the drive-thru.

Once they received their orders, the boys decided to pull into a small rest-area, complete with a picnic table, to eat.

"You played great tonight, Shepard," Elliot complimented the blue-eyed boy with a grin. "Would you be willing to play for me again?"

"I might," Shepard shrugged as he took a bite from his chicken sandwich.

"So, you do this kind of thing often?" Aaron curiously asked the brown-eyed boy.

"Um, yeah," Elliot answered as he took a drink of his pop. "Easy money, if you got a ringer. And Shepard's one hell of a ringer."

Aaron nodded silently, before shooting Shepard a disapproving glare. 

"That's great, right up until they figure out he's a ringer," Ryan said, explaining aloud everything that Aaron had been thinking, "Once they figure it out, they'll go after him every time. And, eventually, they'll take him out, **hard**. I don't like it."

Shepard furrowed his brow as he spoke, "It's good money, though. And I get to play hockey on his dime."

"Maybe, but Ryan has a point, J," Aaron said in a concerned tone. "The money isn't worth you getting hurt. Just think, if you get hurt bad enough, you might not be able to skate ever again. You'd hate that, J. I know you would, yeah. So, please, don't make gambling a habit, eh."

"It ain't as serious as you two make it out to be," Elliot chuckled, totally ignoring the opinions of the two older boys. 

"How old are you?" Aaron asked curiously.

"Uh, sixteen. Why?" The brown-eyed boy asked, unsure as to why the boy wanted to know.

"Sixteen, huh," Aaron nodded as he finished off his burger. "I thought you'd be younger."

"Why's that?" Elliot snapped, irritated by the green-eyed boy's words.

"I just assumed you were younger. That's all," Aaron replied firmly.

Sensing the tension in the air, Ryan quickly changed the subject. "So… When we get to the finals, are you gonna come watch us play, Baby Boy? This season is gonna be lit for sure."

"You know I am. I already promised Aaron that I would," the young blonde replied with a smile.

"Well, I think it's about time we started back," Elliot suggested as he rose to his feet. "We gotta get back before curfew. You ready, Shepard?"

"We can take J home," Aaron chimed in, obviously not too keen on the idea of his J being alone with the young brunette.

"That's okay, Aaron. We left together, so we should probably go back together," Shepard explained as he collected his things to leave. "I appreciate the offer, though."

"Are you sure, J?" Aaron asked, disappointed that his J hadn't agreed, "If you're still feeling tired, I'd rather you let us drop you off, yeah."

"I'll call you if he gets sick," the brown-eyed boy offered.

Aaron glared daggers at the brunette boy, growing angrier by the second. 

"I'm fine, Aaron. I feel much better. Really, I do," Shepard insisted until Aaron finally gave in.

"If you're certain," the green-eyed boy replied as he hugged his J tight. "You call me when you get home, eh."

"If I can," the young blonde replied as he returned the hug, "I'm not supposed to use the phone past eight, and it's seven-thirty already."

"I got a cell phone you can use," the brunette offered.

"I really need to get you a cell, huh, J," Aaron sighed as he kissed the blue-eyed boy on the forehead. "I'll see you later, J. I love you, yeah."

"Love you too, Aaron," Shepard smiled as he waved to Ryan, "See you later, Walker."

"What, no 'I love you, Walker'!?" Ryan teased.

Shepard couldn't help but laugh at his crazy friend, "I love you, Walker. Happy now?"

"Yes. Yes, I am," Ryan chuckled, "I love you too, Baby Boy. You guys, be careful!"

"Always," the young blonde yelled back as he and Elliot moved in the direction of the group home.

Aaron and Ryan waved until the boys were out of sight.

"I hate that Elliot kid," Aaron whispered under his breath.

Ryan laughed at his friend. "Yeah, I noticed. Honestly, I didn't have a problem with him. He was just meh."

"He's bad news, and he's gonna get my J hurt," Aaron insisted.

"Aaron Hayes, I do believe you’re jealous," Ryan teased.

"Jealous? Yeah, right," Aaron chuckled at the insinuation, "Why would I be jealous of him? J isn't even…" Aaron let his words trail off.

"Isn't even what? Interested in him?" Ryan asked with a wide grin. 

"That's not what I meant, and you know it," Aaron replied in irritation.

" **Sure** ," Ryan teased as he bumped shoulders with his green-eyed friend. 

"Don't be an ass," Aaron laughed as he bumped Ryan back. "We better get back, eh."

"Yeah, I guess we should," Ryan agreed as they made their way back to the car.

**~~~☆~~~**

"So… Are you feeling okay?" The brunette asked as he glanced at the blonde standing next to him.

"I swear to god if you don't stop asking me that, I'm gonna punch you in the goddamn throat," the blue-eyed boy growled.

"Okay, I get it. I won't ask again," Elliot promised. "I don't think your friend likes me much."

"Why do you say that?" Shepard asked as he furrowed his brow.

"I could just tell," the older boy explained, "That look he was giving me at the end… Cold as ice."

"You're paranoid," Shepard assured the older boy, "Aaron isn't capable of being cold."

"Eh, maybe I imagined it," the brown-eyed boy said with a slight shrug. "Can I ask you a question? And I want you to be honest in the answer, okay?"

Shepard stared at the older boy for a few seconds before nodding in agreement.

"So, my question is, 'is that Aaron guy your boyfriend or what?'"

The younger boy's sapphire eyes went wide with shock at the question. "No! Of course not. He's straight. Why would you think that anyway?"

"He's just so possessive of you, don't you think?" Elliot said as he glanced over at the young blonde.

"N-no, not really," Shepard replied softly, "Aaron just cares about me is all. He's always been like that."

"You sure he's not bisexual or something, 'cause I really get the feeling that he wants to fuck you," Elliot said as he continued walking.

"You're crazy," Shepard replied as his blush deepened. "Can we just drop it, please?"

"Alright, I won't mention it again," Elliot promised as they continued walking.

"The stars are out," Shepard whispered as he stared up at the night sky. 

"Yeah, they look pretty," Elliot replied as he turned to Shepard and grinned, "Your eyes are prettier, though."

"What?" The blue-eyed boy froze in his tracks.

"You heard me," Elliot chuckled.

"Elliot, stop fucking with me. Seriously, it's not funny," Shepard said in a serious tone.

"I ain't fucking with you, at least not yet," Elliot joked as the blonde rolled his eyes, unamused by the joke. "Seriously, though... Shepard, I think you have gorgeous eyes. And I wanna get to know you better. Is that so bad?"

"I don't talk to straight boys, sorry," Shepard informed the older boy.

"Good thing I'm bisexual then, eh," Elliot grinned as he slowly wrapped his arms around Shepard's narrow waist.

"What the hell are you doing?" The young blonde asked as his body tensed from the sudden touch.

"I'm gonna kiss you now. So, don't bite me, okay," the brown-eyed boy teased as he leaned in and softly kissed the younger boy.

Shepard's blue eyes went wide as he clenched the older boy's coat. 'What the hell is happening?' The blue-eyed boy asked silently as his heart began to race.

 _'It's called a kiss, dummy,'_ the voice teased. _'Just relax and enjoy it. It ain't like you got anyone better to do,'_ the voice laughed as Elliot deepened the kiss.

Shepard could feel the older boy's tongue begging for entry. So, he did just as the voice had instructed, he slowly closed his eyes, opened his mouth, and gently sucked on the older boy's tongue as it made its way inside.

The older boy moaned as they continued their dance — only separating when they had both run out of breath.

"What the hell was that?" Shepard asked as he finally caught his breath. "Why did you kiss me?"

"Why'd you kiss me back," Elliot retorted.

"'Cause it felt good, I guess," the younger boy answered truthfully. "So, tell me why. Why'd you kiss me?"

"Look, Shepard," the older boy explained, "I have been waiting to do that for the last two months. That's why I asked you to play for me. I just wanted to get to know you better. I didn't really care whether or not you could play. The fact that you could play — well, that was just a bonus, really."

"You don't even know me," Shepard reminded as he slowly loosened his grip on the older boy's coat.

"But I want to get to know you," the older boy chuckled as he held the young boy closer to his body.

The blonde boy chewed his lip in contemplation, "Fine. We'll hang out. But, I'm not sure I trust you. So, don't go expecting too much and don't touch me without asking. Got it?"

The brown-eyed boy slowly released his hold on the blonde. "Alright, alright," Elliot sighed, "I'll ask next time. I promise. I'm just stoked that you're giving me a chance."

"Whatever," Shepard shrugged as he began walking once more. "We better hurry, or we're going to miss curfew."

Elliot just grinned as he ran in the blue-eyed boy's direction.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> Next chapter, Shepard gets his very first boyfriend. =)


	11. First Time Lover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard has a boyfriend, and Aaron hates him.  
> Shepard's 'first' time.
> 
> **This chapter includes underage drinking and consensual sexual content between two minors.**

In the weeks that followed, the older boy had made it his mission to study the young blue-eyed blonde — trying his best to learn as much about the boy as humanly possible. Shepard, however, proved to be quite stoic, never revealing too much of anything about himself. In the end, when it came to understanding Shepard, Elliot was just as clueless as ever.

"Gotcha," the brown-eyed boy exclaimed as he playfully wrapped his arms around the younger boy from behind, causing the blonde to drop the laundry basket he had been carrying.

"Goddammit, Elliot," Shepard cursed as he broke free from the older boy's playful grip. "You know I have to get this laundry done. If I don't hurry, I'm gonna get in trouble. Is that what you want?"

"Aw, I'm sorry," Elliot apologized as he knelt to help Shepard with the overturned laundry basket. "I'll help you. And when we're done, we can hang out for a bit. What do you say?"

"You got out of doing your chores again, didn’t you?" The blue-eyed boy questioned as he finished collecting the clothing from the floor.

"Yep, you know me," the brown-eyed boy grinned, "I always find a way to get what I want."

Shepard smiled a little as he shook his head in amusement. "Do you even know how to use the machines down here?"

"It's a washer and dryer," Elliot said in a bored voice, "How difficult can it be?"

"Alright," the younger boy chuckled, "If that's the way you want it, you can use the ones on the right, and I'll use the ones on the left."

After several minutes of trial-and-error on the older boy's part, Elliot finally got the machine going.

"See, I figured it out," the brown-eyed boy grinned proudly. "We'll be done in no time!"

The young blonde nodded in approval as he put some wet clothes into the dryer. "Took you a while, but I think you got it."

"You know, you could be more supportive," Elliot pouted.

"I **was** being supportive," the blonde chuckled.

" **That** was you being supportive? I think you and I have different ideas of what it means to be supportive," Elliot grinned as he shook his head in amusement. "So, what's your favourite colour?"

"Uh, why do you want to know?" Shepard asked curiously.

"Come on, Shepard! I just wanna get to know you is all," Elliot whined as he brushed a stray hair from the young blonde's brow.

"Red," the blue-eyed boy answered simply. "You like green, right?"

"How did you know that?" The older boy asked in a surprised tone.

"Most of your t-shirts are green," Shepard replied as he began to fold the laundry.

"Huh. Well, what's your favourite food?" Elliot asked curiously.

"I'll eat pretty much anything. So, I don't really have a favourite food," the young blonde admitted.

"Okay, cool. My favourite food is probably cheeseburgers. I freakin’ love 'em," the older boy said. "What about music? Do you have a favourite song, or a favourite band, maybe?"

"I like all kinds of music. I don't really have a favourite song, but I really like Breaking Benjamin," Shepard answered.

"What, no Canadian bands?" Elliot asked with an air of disappointment.

"I like Canadian bands too," the young boy insisted, "I just like Breaking Benjamin the most. That's all."

"I like Adam Gontier," the older boy said with a grin.

"Yeah, Adam Gontier's great. I really liked him as the lead singer for Three Days Grace," Shepard agreed.

"Seems we have some things in common," Elliot said with a wink.

"When it comes to music anyway," the young blonde replied.

"So… can I kiss you or what?" the brown-eyed boy asked with a predatory grin.

"No," the blue-eyed boy replied with a smirk. 

"Whattaya mean, 'no'!?" Elliot asked in irritation.

"You can kiss me later," the blonde chuckled, "You know — after the laundry's done."

"Such a tease," the brunette laughed as he removed the clothes from the dryer. 

**~~~☆~~~**

Once the laundry was completed, and all of Shepard’s chores were done, Elliot led the young blonde to one of the empty rooms on the third floor.

"Finally! I thought I would never get you alone," the brown-eyed boy whispered as he kissed his way hungrily down Shepard's neck.

Shepard moaned as the older boy continued his assault on the tender flesh of his neck — eagerly answering each kiss with one of his own.

"Let me touch you," Elliot whispered as he ground his body firmly against the young boy.

Shepard could feel the older boy's arousal but was unsure whether or not he wanted to continue.

'I don't trust him. Hell, I don't even know if I like him. What if this is all that he wants from me? Will he just ignore me when he gets it?' Shepard thought, his mind going a million miles a second.

_'Don't do it if that's the way you're feeling. Honestly, I don't trust this guy either. He's too damn shady. I know you_ **_want_ ** _it, but you can wait, and if he can't, then fuck him!'_ The voice suggested, and Shepard reluctantly took its advice.

"No," the young blonde answered as he gently pushed the older boy away.

"Are you fucking kidding me," the older boy whined. "You are seriously trying to give me blue balls. I just know you are."

"Don't you have a girlfriend?" Shepard asked in a low voice.

"Well, I **did** have one," Elliot explained, "But it didn't work out. Is that what's bothering you?" 

"Maybe," the blue-eyed boy admitted truthfully, "I'm not sure. I just don't think it's a good idea right now."

Elliot sighed heavily, "Fine. I'll wait."

The blonde boy nodded as he turned to leave the room.

"Where are you going?" The brunette asked, disappointed at the young boy's sudden change of heart.

"I'm going to bed. I don't feel too good," Shepard replied as he made his way out of the room.

"Fuck!" Elliot screamed as he kicked the wall in frustration. "I have got to get laid!"

**~~~☆~~~**

Later that night, Shepard was awakened by the sound of soft moaning. Unsure as to the source, the young blonde gently rolled onto his right side — his sapphire eyes going wide in shock at the sight before him. 

A blonde that Shepard had recognized as a seventeen-year-old girl, named Amber, was on Elliot's bed — on all-fours, with Elliot thrusting into her from behind.

"Oh, yeah, baby," the brown-eyed boy whispered into the young girl's ear as he slowly thrust into her willing body.

"Hmm, Elliot, you're so good," the girl replied, her long blonde hair damp with sweat as she pushed back against him.

The blue-eyed boy didn't know what to think. Should he feel angry? Betrayed— Indifferent— Aroused— What was he supposed to feel? He didn't know. All he knew was that he couldn't take his eyes off the scene before him. 

His eyes eventually found Elliot's, sapphire-blue locking on warm chocolate-brown. Elliot grinned wickedly at the younger boy, licking his lips before giving him a wink. 

Shepard's heart began to beat faster, and, for some reason, he couldn't bring himself to turn away from the brunette's gaze.

Never breaking his gaze from Shepard, Elliot spoke, "I've wanted to do this to you for so long. I can't wait to see you cum on my cock."

The blonde boy's sapphire-blue eyes became hazy with lust, lost in the sound of the older boy's voice. Unable to stop himself, Shepard's hand disappeared underneath the sheet. Taking himself in hand as he continued to watch the older boy.

Elliot's eyes followed the younger boy's hand and remained there as he continued to work himself up. The sight had him thrusting into the body before him with reckless abandon, practically ignoring the young girl before him. 

It didn't take long until both boys were spent, with Shepard reaching his peak first, and Elliot following shortly after. They continued to lock eyes until Amber's voice finally broke the spell.

"Baby, that was so fucking good," the blonde girl praised. "But did you have to be so rough in the end? I'm going to be sore as hell tomorrow."

"Yeah, sorry about that," the brunette apologized as he gave Shepard a wink and a wicked grin.

"Let me know when you wanna go again," Amber whispered as she quickly got dressed.

"I'll let you know," Elliot assured her as she made her way back to her own dorm room. "Was it good for you, Shepard?"

Shepard's sapphire eyes narrowed as he turned onto his left side, choosing to ignore the older boy. 

"So, you're gonna be like that, eh," Elliot chuckled as he made himself comfortable. "I'll see you tomorrow, Shepard," Elliot whispered as he let sleep take him.

**~~~☆~~~**

The next morning, when the older boy woke, he was surprised to see an empty bed before him — usually, he awoke to the sight of the beautiful blonde boy sleeping peacefully in the bed next to his. Shepard wasn't what one would call a morning person, making absence from bed more than a little odd.

Elliot quickly arose, wasting no time in making the bed and getting ready for the day. Once his usual daily routine was complete, the brown-eyed boy quickly made his way to the resident gossip.

"Yo, Jamie," Elliot called out, getting the auburn-haired boy's attention, "Have you seen Shepard?"

"Maybe," Jamie grinned as he scratched his chin, "What'll you give me in exchange?"

"Jamie, just tell me," the brunette boy growled.

"Fine, be that way," the boy pouted, "He ain't here."

"Whattaya mean, 'He ain't here?' " Elliot asked in confusion. "If he isn't here, then where the hell is he?"

"I can't really remember…" Jamie said as he feigned memory loss.

"Fuckin' leech," Elliot said in a disgusted tone, "Here's five. Do you remember now?"

"Oh, I just remembered," the auburn-haired boy grinned as he pocketed the blue bill, "He left this morning with some black-haired guy. I think they were gonna go play hockey or something."

"A black-haired guy, huh," Elliot asked, clearly annoyed by the information, "This guy didn't happen to have snake bites, did he?"

"Yep, he sure did," Jamie nodded. 

"Aaron-fucking-Hayes," the brunette growled under his breath.

"So, is there anything else you need or, is our business done?"

"We're done," Elliot informed the auburn-haired boy as he made his way to the director's office.

**~~~☆~~~**

Once Elliot received permission to leave, he immediately made his way to the nearest hockey rink. And, sure enough, Shepard was there on the ice, along with Aaron Hayes and Ryan Walker. 

"Found you," the brown-eyed boy whispered as he made his way to the entrance to the ice.

Elliot watched the game closely, amazed by how well the three boys worked together. Aaron and Ryan were almost as talented as Shepard. 'Almost,' the brown-eyed boy mused, 'But not quite.'

When the game was over the brown-eyed boy waited patiently — watching the three boys laughing as they made their way off the ice.

"Are you avoiding me, Shepard?" Elliot asked loudly, causing the younger boy to turn his sapphire eyes towards him.

"What are you doing here?" Shepard asked as he rolled his eyes at the brown-eyed boy.

"What do you think I'm doing here?" The older boy chuckled. "I came to see you. You snuck off this morning. I would have come with you if you'd have only asked."

"I didn't want you to come with me, Elliot," the blonde yelled, his sapphire eyes glowing in anger. "I want you to leave me the hell alone!"

"You know you don't mean that," Elliot grinned, shaking his head in disbelief. "If it's about last night, I did it for you. You had fun, too — I know you did."

"Look, J said he doesn't want you here. So, I suggest you leave," Aaron said in a menacing tone that Shepard had never heard before.

Surprised by his friend's tone, the young blonde looked to Ryan in confusion, silently pleading for the grey-eyed boy's help.

"Shepard has a voice, you know," Elliot argued with a disgusted look on his face, "He has a mind of his own. He's not your goddamn property!"

"Look, kid, I'm warning you! He already told you to stay away. So, stay the fuck away from **my** J!" Aaron yelled as his green eyes hazed over in anger.

"What are you gonna do if I don't?" The brown-eyed boy challenged as he clenched his fists in anger.

Aaron immediately threw a punch at Elliot, stopping just short of his target as Ryan grabbed him firmly by the arm.

"What the hell, Ryan!?" Aaron exclaimed, unhappy with his friend's interference.

"You two need to calm the fuck down," Ryan insisted. "You're acting like a bunch of spoiled brats! It's fucking embarrassing! And in case you haven't noticed, Shepard has already left the goddamn building. So, way to go! You two managed to ruin the entire fucking day. Congratulations!"

"He started it, Ryan! J told him that he didn't want him here," Aaron explained.

"Fuck you, Hayes! I'm going to go find Shepard," Elliot yelled as he turned to leave the building, flipping Aaron off for emphasis.

"I hate that fucking kid!" Aaron exclaimed as he tried to follow the young brunette, stopping, only, when Ryan pulled him back.

"Aaron, what are you doing? That argument was between Elliot and J, nobody else. J was handling things pretty well on his own. There was no need to interfere," Ryan said truthfully. "So, calm the fuck down, eh."

"How can you say that, Ryan!? Elliot's no good, you know that! So why defend the little prick?" Aaron asked, hurt that his friend hadn't understood his anger.

"I'm not defending him, Aaron! Hell, I don't even like the little bastard. But you have to let J handle things on his own. He's not a little kid anymore. Hell, he's almost taller than you!"

"I **know** , Ryan! Believe me, I know," Aaron replied, "I'm not an idiot. I can **see** that J isn't that tiny little six-year-old anymore. But, he's still **my** J, Ryan. And if he ever got hurt again, I don't know what I'd do."

" _Sigh—_ I know," Ryan assured him as he hugged his best friend tight, "I get it, Aaron. I really do. But you have to loosen your grip a little, or you're gonna scare him away. Is that what you want?"

"No," the green-eyed boy admitted, shaking his head slowly.

"I didn't think so," the grey-eyed boy said as he picked up his bag, "Now, just give Shepard some time. Let him handle things. Can you do that, Aaron?"

"Are you saying I can't call my J," Aaron pouted, causing Ryan to laugh.

"That's not what I meant," the grey-eyed boy explained, "In fact, you **need** to call and apologize for being an ass. Just don't bring up Elliot, that's all I'm saying."

"I can do that," Aaron promised with a grin. "I guess we should head out, yeah."

"Yep," Ryan agreed with a smile, "I think we should get something to eat. What do you think?"

"You and food," Aaron chuckled as they made their way to the car.

**~~~☆~~~**

"Hey, Jamie," Elliot yelled, getting the young boy's attention. "Did Shepard come back yet?"

"You know the drill," Jamie grinned as he stretched out his empty palm.

"Look, you little shit, I already gave you five this morning. You ain't getting another dime from me," Elliot replied angrily.

"No cash, no info," the auburn-haired boy said in a determined tone.

"Goddammit, Jamie," the brown-eyed boy cursed. "I'm in a hurry here!"

"Then pay me instead of wasting time," the young boy insisted.

"Fine! But you better answer every goddamn question! You hear me, Jamie," Elliot threatened as he handed the boy another blue bill.

"Pleasure doing business," Jamie grinned as he pocketed his fee. "Ask away."

"Is Shepard here? And, if he isn't, where can I find him?" 

"He ain't here. But there are a few places you could look for him. There ain't no guarantee that he'll be at any of 'em, though. He's fuckin' weird, so it's kinda hard to track him down."

"I get it, Jamie," the brown-eyed teen said, growing impatient with the auburn-haired boy, "Just give me an idea of where I could **possibly** find him."

"Well, you can try Tim's on the corner. If he ain't there, he's probably somewhere near the water," Jamie offered, "I hear he likes the water."

"He ain't at Tim's, I already checked. And the water's too fucking far, and it's too damn cold. Isn't there **anywhere** else?"

"He works on motorcycles. He might be working on one today," Jamie grinned, "I could probably get the address from the director's office."

"Of course you can," Elliot said as he rolled his eyes and handed the boy yet another blue bill.

"Wait here," the auburn-haired boy instructed as he made his way down the hall.

Ten minutes later, good to his word, Jamie gave Elliot the address, and without another word, he was off to find the stubborn blue-eyed boy.

**~~~☆~~~**

"I didn't know you were a mechanic," Elliot said, startling the blue-eyed boy causing him to drop the wrench he was holding.

"I'm not. I just know a bit about motorcycles is all," the blonde answered in annoyance. "How the hell did you find me?"

"Jamie told me where I could find you," the brown-eyed boy answered truthfully.

Shepard shook his head in annoyance, "That kid needs to learn to mind his own goddamn business. It's fucking annoying."

"His services come in useful," Elliot chuckled. "Can we talk when you're done here?"

"We ain't got nothing to talk about," Shepard replied, furrowing his brow as he spoke.

"Don't be like that," the older boy begged. "You've been avoiding me all day. You can at least give me five minutes."

Shepard just shrugged as he continued his work on the damaged motorcycle.

"I'm not leaving," Elliot informed the young blonde.

"Don't care," Shepard shrugged as he continued to ignore the older boy.

Several hours passed, and eventually, the blue-eyed boy finished repairing the bike. 

"Where are you going?" Elliot asked as he watched the younger boy carefully.

"I'm going to go tell my friend that the bike's fixed," Shepard answered in annoyance.

"Oh… Well, hurry back," the brown-eyed boy grinned.

Shepard rolled his sapphire eyes at the older boy as he quietly entered the house.

A few minutes passed, and for a brief second, Elliot thought the blonde boy had left him behind.

"You're still here?" Shepard asked in irritation.

"Yep," the brunette said as he winked at the younger boy. "Will you talk to me, please?"

The blue-eyed boy just shook his head as he walked past the older boy, heading in the direction of the group home.

"You're not getting rid of me that easily," Elliot insisted as he made his way to the blonde's side.

"I don't get you," Shepard snapped as he continued walking. "You say that you want to get to know me, to spend time with me, but then, you go and fuck some random girl. I mean, what the fuck do you want!? What are you playing at, Elliot?"

"I can explain that," the brown-eyed boy insisted. 

"Sure you can," the blue-eyed boy replied sarcastically, "You did it for me, right? It was all for my benefit. Isn't that what you said?"

"It **was** for you! I wanted to show you how it could be between us," Elliot explained. "Besides, you fucking liked it! You can't deny that! I watched you cum, remember!"

"Fuck you, Elliot! At least fucking admit that it was all for you! Fucking that girl was definitely **not** for my benefit, and you fucking know it! I don't even like girls, you stupid fuck," Shepard yelled, angry at both Elliot and himself. Angry at Elliot for not admitting the truth and angry at himself for having enjoyed it.

"Right, you don't like girls," Elliot repeated as he rolled his eyes at the younger boy. "For a guy that don't like girls, you came pretty hard watching one get fucked!"

"I wasn't looking at her, you goddamn moron! I was looking at **you**!" The moment the words passed Shepard's lips, he instantly regretted them.

Elliot's smile turned predatory at the boy's admission. "I turned you on that much, huh? Did you imagine you were her — did you want it to be you — getting fucked by my cock?"

"Shut the hell up, Elliot," the young blonde replied in anger. "Don't change the goddamn subject! Just admit the fucking truth, that you did it for you! The fact that I saw you, that was just a coincidence, and you know it. So, just be honest for fucks sake!"

"Fine. I admit it," the older boy replied honestly, "I was horny, and I did what I did… But I'm not sorry about it. I enjoyed watching you, and I'd do it again, just to see that erotic look on your face."

"God, you are such an asshole," Shepard replied as he rubbed his face hard. "Just tell me what you want. What do you want us to be? Tell me, because I'm tired, and I really don't feel like playing games with you, Elliot. I ain't got the time for it."

"Well, I want **you** ," the older boy admitted simply.

"I kinda figured that out already," Shepard replied in annoyance, "I mean, do you want to fuck me and be done, or do you want something more?"

"Shepard, I'm not gonna lie, I really, really want to fuck you," Elliot admitted. "But, I don't want it to be a 'one-and-done' type deal. I want more, I guess. So, I reckon what I'm saying is that I want to be your boyfriend. I mean, if that's what you want."

Shepard chewed his lip in contemplation. "On one condition."

"You name it," Elliot replied with a grin.

"No more fucking strange girls," the young blonde demanded.

"Amber wasn't exactly a stranger," the brunette explained truthfully, causing Shepard to roll his blue eyes, and walk away from the older boy.

"I was kidding! Come back," Elliot chuckled as he ran up and grabbed Shepard from behind, holding him close as he softly kissed the young blonde's neck. "I'm sorry I fucked Amber, and it won't happen again," the brown-eyed boy promised.

"It better not," the blue-eyed boy warned as he turned to kiss the older boy. 

"Believe me, it won't," the brunette assured as he took the younger boy by the hand, and led him in the direction of the group home.

**~~~☆~~~**

In the weeks that followed, it was like Elliot couldn't get enough of the young blonde. And while they had not had sex yet, they had certainly been working their way up to it. 

"Fuck, your mouth feels so good," the brown-eyed boy moaned as he ran his fingers through Shepard's soft blonde hair. "I ain't never had better!"

"Oops! I didn't know anyone was in here," the auburn-haired boy said, speaking loud enough to startle the two boys.

Scrambling to his feet as Elliot moved to put himself away, Shepard snapped at the auburn-haired boy as he wiped his mouth with his sleeve, "Goddammit, Jamie! Don't you know how to knock!?"

"Why the hell would I knock? This room's supposed to be empty, remember?" Jamie teased. "Don't mind me. I like to watch."

Elliot laughed a bit at the young boy, "I'll bet you do, you little pervert."

"If you let me watch, I won't tell the director what you two were doing," Jamie grinned as he tried to bargain with the young couple.

"What?" Shepard said in a shocked tone, "What the hell is wrong with you!? No way!"

"Shepard, why not let him watch," the older boy asked, "What harm would it do? Besides, it's better than getting in trouble, right?"

"Elliot, you can't be serious?" The young blonde asked.

"I'm dead serious. I don't see the big deal. I mean, he already saw us," Elliot explained, "I'm pretty close, and you're pretty worked up. It shouldn't take too long. So, what do you say? Should we give him a show?"

_'You're seriously considering this, aren't you?'_ The voice asked, already knowing the blonde's deepest desires.

'I can't help it! I think I might like sex a bit too much. I find it so hard to say no,' Shepard admitted silently.

_'_ ** _Sigh—_ ** _Do what you will, but don't get too carried away or you might end up in a bad situation,'_ the voice warned.

The blue-eyed boy just nodded as he fiercely kissed the older boy.

The older boy was shocked by the young blonde's aggressive behaviour — but wasted no time in returning the fiery kiss.

Jamie watched in heated fascination as the boys continued their assault on one another. Only this time, it was Elliot who was on his knees with Shepard in his mouth.

"This is new," the young blonde mumbled while running his hand through the dark-brown hair. 

"You like it, beautiful?" Elliot asked as he licked the blonde's full length slowly, before taking him back into his mouth.

"Mmm… Feels good," Shepard admitted as he threw his head back and moaned.

It wasn't long before all three boys had reached their climax. Each one left spent and completely satisfied. 

Elliot rose to his feet, kissing the young blonde languidly so that Shepard was sure to taste himself on the older boy's tongue.

"You taste so goddamn good, Shepard," Elliot whispered as he kissed the boy once again.

Shepard moaned at the taste of himself and instinctively pressed himself against the older boy.

After a few brief moments of grinding against one another, the boys were interrupted by the sound of clapping.

**_CLAP, CLAP, CLAP—_** "That was fucking **hot** ," Jamie praised as he continued to give the two boys a standing ovation. "Seriously! You guys should sell tickets."

"Shut the hell up, Jamie!" Elliot and Shepard called out in unison, causing both boys to break out into laughter.

"Yeah, yeah," Jamie chuckled as he turned to leave.

"Seriously, Jamie," Elliot said, "Don't tell anyone. Okay."

"I won't," Jamie assured them. "You paid, so, no worries. I'm good to my customers," Jamie winked as he made his way out of the room.

"So, did you like it?" The brown-eyed boy asked.

"Like what? The blowjob?" Shepard asked as he put his t-shirt back on.

"Well, that too, but I meant being watched," Elliot asked with a grin.

"The blowjob was good. And as far as the 'being watched' thing goes, I don't know. It was a little weird. I didn't mind it, though, if that's what you meant," Shepard admitted honestly.

"Good enough," the older boy winked as he kissed Shepard gently on the lips. "Can I pick you up from the hockey game tomorrow?"

"I don't know, Elliot," the blue-eyed boy replied as he furrowed his brow. "I don't want you and Aaron to fight."

"I promise I won't fight," Elliot replied as he crossed his heart with his finger, "Cross my heart, baby. I have a surprise for you, so, please, let me come pick you up."

Shepard sighed, "Alright, you can pick me up. But **no arguing** , am I clear?"

"Crystal," the older boy agreed as he took the blue-eyed boy by the hand, and led him out of the abandoned room.

**~~~☆~~~**

"Great game, J," Aaron praised as he threw his arm around Shepard. "You're gonna go pro one day. I just know it!"

"I wish," Shepard chuckled as he smiled brightly at his friend. 

"Aaron's right, Baby Boy," Ryan chimed in, "You're probably the best we've ever seen. Don't sell yourself short. You're a great player!"

"Thanks, guys," the blonde smiled as they made their way off the ice.

"You ready to go, Shepard?" Elliot grinned as he walked towards the young blonde.

"Yeah, just gimme a couple of minutes to change," Shepard replied as he made his way to the locker room.

"I thought you two didn't get along," Aaron said in a disappointed voice.

"Yeah, we don't, most of the time," Shepard answered nervously, "But he's kinda my boyfriend."

"Boyfriend?" Ryan's eyes went wide, but he held his tongue. "T-that's cool, I guess."

"How serious is it?" Aaron asked, "I mean, you haven't **done** anything yet, right?"

"Jesus, Aaron," Ryan scolded, "Is that really any of our business?"

"What? I'm just looking out for him! I'm not gonna scold him or anything. I just wanna make sure he's safe," Aaron explained.

"Are you seriously going to give him a condom?" Ryan asked as he cocked his brow.

"If he needs one, yeah," Aaron said honestly, "Of course I will. I don't want J having unprotected sex, especially with someone like that."

"That's not fair, Aaron," Shepard said softly, "You talk like he's dirty or something. But I'm way dirtier than he is."

"That's not true!" Both Aaron and Ryan exclaimed in unison. 

"But it **is**! If you think Elliot is dirty because you think he's been with a lot of people, then that makes me **way** dirtier than him. 'Cause I have him beat by a mile in that department, and you both know it," the young blonde insisted.

"J, that wasn't your fault," Aaron explained.

"So — Fault don't matter — the argument stands. So, unless you're willing to admit I'm dirty, stop implying it about Elliot!" Shepard yelled as he pulled his t-shirt over his head.

Aaron and Ryan stared at each other for a few seconds before coming to a silent agreement.

"You're right, Baby Boy," Ryan apologized, "We won't do it again. Right, Aaron?"

"Yeah," Aaron agreed as he rubbed Shepard's back gently. "I'm sorry I said that. But the offer stands, eh. I've got a condom if you need one, and I can get you more if you need me to, yeah."

The blue-eyed boy nodded as he spoke. "Okay. I'll take one, but we haven't yet — just so you know."

"Oh, thank god!" Aaron exclaimed, causing Ryan to hit his knee. "I-I mean, that's cool. It's better not to rush these things."

"Uh-huh," Shepard said as he handed his gear to Aaron. "I'll see you guys later."

"Later, Baby Boy," Ryan grinned as he waved goodbye to the younger boy.

"Love you, J," Aaron said with a soft smile.

"I know," Shepard whispered as he left the locker room.

"Ready to go?" The brown-eyed boy asked as he took Shepard by the hand.

"Yep," Shepard replied with a kiss. "What's this big surprise you keep talking about?"

"You'll see," Elliot chuckled as he kissed the blonde's hand and led him out of the building.

**~~~☆~~~**

"Well, we're here," Elliot announced as he stopped outside an old hotel.

"Okay," Shepard chuckled in amusement, "And what are we doing here, exactly?"

"I got us a room," the brown-eyed boy explained. "I want us to spend the night together. You know, without the fear of being caught."

Shepard's heart began to race at the thought of spending an entire night alone with Elliot. "We can't. If we break curfew, they'll call the cops. You know that."

"I knew you'd say that," the older boy chuckled as he pulled out a paper from his pack. "Here, read this."

The young blonde took his time and read the letter thoroughly. "How the hell did you manage this? I don't even go to public school. I study at the group home," Shepard asked in confusion.

"You forget that **I** go to public school, and as a student, I'm allowed to bring a friend on the trip, so I just told the director that I was taking you. Easy as pie," the brunette boy explained as his chocolate eyes glittered with mischief.

"What happens if they decide to check on us?" Shepard asked in annoyance, "If they call one of the teachers, we are seriously screwed."

"They won't call," Elliot promised, "And even if they do try to call, I got it covered. I used a friend's cell phone number. She agreed to cover for us. So, if they do call, she'll answer it and tell them we're fine. I got this shit planned right."

Elliot couldn't help but notice the apprehension on the younger boy's face. 

"What's really bothering you, beautiful?" The brown-eyed boy asked softly as he gently touched his young boyfriend's face.

"It's not that I don't want to," Shepard explained, "It's just that I need time to, you know, prepare."

The older boy furrowed his brow in confusion, unsure of what Shepard had meant, "I'll be gentle. I promise."

"That's not what I meant," the blue-eyed boy replied. "Never mind. Let's just get the key, before I change my mind."

"Um, wait here, okay," Elliot grinned as he made his way into the lobby.

Once he had the key, he motioned for Shepard to join him. After a quick elevator ride and a few steps down a long corridor, they arrived at their destination, Room number 302.

After fumbling a bit with the key, Elliot finally unlocked the door. Taking time to turn on the lights, he and Shepard slowly looked around the room.

It was nice. Cleaner than either of them had expected. There was a large bed in the centre of the room, with a TV mounted on the far wall.

"I guess we should make ourselves comfortable, maybe take our shoes and socks off," Elliot suggested as he kicked off his sneakers and removed his socks, watching as Shepard did the same.

"Is there a washroom," Shepard asked, nervously, as he continued to look around the room.

"Uh, yeah," the older boy said as he opened the washroom door to show the young blonde.

"That's good," the blue-eyed boy mumbled as he sat down on the bed.

The older boy wasted no time in taking his seat next to his young love. "I brought beer. You know, in case you get nervous or something," Elliot replied, nervously, as he took the six-pack out of his pack, "It might calm you down a bit. I brought some other stuff too."

Elliot smiled as he handed Shepard a beer. "I'll drink one too, okay."

"Okay," Shepard nodded as he began to drink, making a face as he swallowed. "It's warm."

"Yeah, sorry about that," Elliot chuckled in embarrassment, "It's been in my pack all day. I can go see if they have any ice if you want."

"No, that's alright," the blonde smiled, "This is fine."

The two boys sat in silence until they finished their beers.

"Can I kiss you now," Elliot asked as he touched Shepard's face gently.

"If you want," Shepard whispered as he leaned closer to the older boy.

The kiss started out soft and gentle, almost innocent in its simplicity. But as time passed, the kisses became more hungry, more primal, until eventually, Elliot was on top of the blue-eyed boy, slowly grinding himself against the younger boy. 

The room was filled with soft moans as the brown-eyed boy gently removed the young blonde's shirt, loving the feel of the younger boy's well-muscled chest. 

"You ain't normal, you know," Elliot chuckled, making the blue-eyed boy feel self-conscious as he covered his chest with his arms. "Don't do that. I didn't mean anything bad by it. I only meant that most boys your age aren't built like you. Hell, you're in better shape than most guys my age. It's a compliment. I **love** all of your muscles, and that tiny little waist you got. It gets me hot."

"Yeah," Shepard said as he slowly exposed his chest again. "I'm glad."

"Do you like my chest," the older boy asked as he, too, removed his shirt, tossing it to the floor. "I know I'm not half as cut as you are, but I hope you like it."

The young blonde took his hand and placed it on the older boy's chest, gently exploring every inch of skin from his collarbone to the baby soft hairs that disappeared just beneath the top of his black jeans. 

"I like it a lot," Shepard admitted as he kissed Elliot's chest gently, only stopping when Elliot pulled his chin up for a kiss.

The kiss became heated quickly, and soon they were grinding against each other once more. Sensing how excited Shepard had become, Elliot gently moved a hand to unbutton the blue-eyed boy's jeans. Once the boy's jeans were unbuttoned, Elliot ran a hand underneath the waistband of his underwear to cup the hardening length he found there. Shepard moaned into the older boy's mouth, causing the older boy to chuckle into the kiss.

"You like that, baby?" Elliot asked as he gently stroked the length. "You're fucking huge for your age."

Shepard laughed a little at his friend, "I ain't that big. No need to sugarcoat it. I just need my dick stroked, not my ego."

The older boy broke out laughing. "Damn, Shepard! You tell it like it is! I have **never** met anyone quite like you."

"Is that good or bad?" Shepard asked, unsure of the answer.

"It's a good thing," Elliot assured, "A **very** good thing."

The older boy continued to stroke the blonde for several minutes, until he became impatient, and started pulling the dark-blue jeans from the boy's narrow waist.

"You had to wear skinny jeans," Elliot joked as he struggled with their removal.

Shepard laughed as his boyfriend tugged too hard and subsequently fell off the bed. "You okay? Did you break anything?"

"No, I think I'll be alright," the brown-eyed boy chuckled as he made his way back onto the bed. "Just promise me that you'll never wear those goddamn things again. They damn near killed me."

"Can't do it. I love those goddamn jeans," Shepard replied apologetically.

"You are so fucking mean," the older boy pouted as he quickly removed his own black jeans, hesitating before slowly removing his underwear as well.

Shepard swallowed hard at the sight of his boyfriend's naked body, surprised at how excited the older boy had already become. The brunette was already fully erect, and Shepard knew that he wouldn't want to wait long.

Elliot took the blonde's hand and guided it to his sex. "This is what you do to me, Shepard."

Shepard smiled as he gently stroked the older boy's length, taking his time, softly kissing the tip before taking him into his mouth.

"Fuck, you are so fucking good at this," Elliot whined as he laced his fingers in Shepard's dark-blonde hair.

Knowing he wouldn't last much longer, the brown-eyed boy gently urged his love to stop his affections. "Sorry, babe, but if you don't stop now, I'll cum before we even get started," Elliot explained as he kissed Shepard hard, before urging the blue-eyed boy onto his back.

"You ready, baby?" Elliot asked as he gently removed the blue-eyed boy's underwear.

"Can you give me a few minutes?" Shepard asked shyly, motioning towards the washroom, "I need to get ready."

"O-okay," Elliot said as he helped the boy up from the bed. "You aren't changing your mind, are you?"

"Does it look like I'm gonna change my mind?" The young blonde asked as he motioned to his ever-growing erection. "I'll be back in a minute. Trust me, okay."

"Okay," Elliot smiled in relief. "Hurry back."

Elliot paced uneasily around the room as he eagerly awaited his young lover. Upon hearing the washroom door open, the brunette quickly made his way back to the bed.

"Everything good?" Elliot asked as he gently brushed a stray hair from Shepard's sapphire eyes.

"Yeah. I'm ready," Shepard laid back on the bed and awaited the older boy.

"Okay," the brown-eyed boy whispered as he began kissing the younger boy, taking his time, until he was absolutely certain his young love was ready.

"Do you have a condom?" Shepard asked quietly as the brown-eyed boy continued his assault on the boy's tender neck.

"Huh," the older boy blinked in confusion. "Why? We don't need one, do we? I mean, we can't get pregnant, so what's the point?"

"You didn't use a condom with Amber either, did you," the blue-eyed boy observed.

"Well, no," Elliot admitted truthfully, "But she's on the pill, so I didn't need one."

"Aren't you afraid of STIs?" Shepard asked curiously.

"Yeah, I guess," the older boy replied, "Amber was clean when we fucked. I know 'cause I went to the clinic with her. I don't bareback with just anyone, you know. I mean, I know I'm clean, and you're a virgin, so…"

Shepard visibly tensed at the word virgin, and it did not go unnoticed by Elliot.

"Shepard, you **are** a virgin? Right?"

"Kinda," the blue-eyed boy whispered as tears began to well.

"What do you mean, 'kinda'?" Elliot chuckled. "You either are, or you aren't."

'He's not going to want me when he finds out, is he?' Shepard thought sadly.

_'I don't know, kid. Maybe, maybe not. Some people just can't handle things like that. If he doesn't want you, don't go blaming yourself. You were just dealt a bad hand in life. There ain't a damn thing you can do about it.'_

" **Shepard** ," Elliot called out loudly, "Where'd you go just now? You kinda just zoned out on me. I hope you're not trying to avoid my question. Are you a virgin or not?"

Shepard just shook his head slowly as tears fell silently from his sad blue eyes. "I'm sorry."

The older boy tensed up at the revelation. "I fucking **knew** it! You know way too much about sex to be a virgin. So how many guys have you been with anyway?"

"I don't know exactly," the blonde answered truthfully. Sensing the older boy's apprehension, Shepard immediately spoke, "But you'll be the first that I ever chose."

"What did you say?" Elliot asked, his chocolate coloured eyes going wide with shock.

"You'll be the first one that I want inside me," Shepard explained softly. "But I'll understand if you don't want me no more."

Elliot immediately kissed the blue-eyed boy as hard as he could, trying his best to let Shepard know that nothing had changed.

"Why didn't you tell me, baby," the older boy asked as he continued to kiss the boy gently.

"I didn't want nobody to know. I still don't," Shepard whispered.

"I get that. I'll understand if you don't wanna do this," Elliot assured his boyfriend.

"No, I want it. I really do," the young blonde assured the older boy.

"You sure?" The older boy asked, not wanting to push his young love.

"Yeah, I'm sure. Are **you** sure? I mean, do you still want to?" 

"Oh, I **definitely** want to," Elliot chuckled as he pressed himself roughly against the blue-eyed boy, letting him know just how badly that he wanted it.

Shepard grinned as he kissed the older boy roughly.

"Do I really have to wear a condom?" Elliot chuckled as he continued to grind against his young lover.

"Ain't you afraid I'm dirty?" Shepard asked curiously.

"Baby, there ain't no way you're dirty," Elliot assured him with a kiss.

Shepard thought about it for a second before giving in. "I trust you. We're good."

"Thank fuck! I hate those goddamn things. I mean, I'll wear 'em, but I fuckin' hate 'em," the older boy admitted honestly.

"You said that you're bisexual, right?" Shepard asked, "And you've obviously had sex with girls, but how many guys have you been with?"

"Well, uh, none," Elliot admitted truthfully, "You'll be my first, but I know what I'm doing. I promise you, I do."

"I'm actually glad," the blue-eyed boy said in a relieved tone. 

"Me too," the brown-eyed boy agreed as he began to work the young boy up once again.

Once they were both fully aroused, Elliot decided it was finally time, and moved to enter his blue-eyed lover.

"Wait! What the hell are you doing?" Shepard chuckled as he took hold of 'little' Elliot, "You can't put this in me without prepping me first — I need lube and stuff. I don't want to tear, you know."

"Oh, I totally forgot," Elliot apologized as he fished the bottle of lube out of his pack. "Will this work?"

"Nice. It's an expensive one too," Shepard grinned as he kissed his boyfriend in appreciation.

"Yeah. I was told it was the best, so I figured, why the hell not," the older boy said with a grin. 

"You wanna do it, or do you want me to do it?" The blue-eyed boy asked.

"Do what?" Elliot asked in confusion.

Shepard couldn't help but laugh at his clueless boyfriend. "You really are an idiot. You know that, right," Shepard teased as he took the bottle from the older boy and proceeded to prepare himself for what was to come.

Elliot watched in fascination as his lover slowly prepared himself. "Fuck…"

"I think I'm ready now," the younger boy whispered as he rolled onto his stomach.

Elliot kissed his lover's back softly as he finished with the lubricant. "You sure you're ready?"

Shepard nodded, slowly, as he took a deep breath.

The older boy pushed in slowly, taking his time, being careful not to hurt the blonde. "You okay? I can stop if you want."

"I-I'm okay. Keep going."

"Are you sure? I don't wanna hurt– Oh fuck!" Elliot cried out as Shepard slammed back onto the older boy, causing Elliot to penetrate him fully in one swift motion.

"I-I'm not made of glass," Shepard snapped in an irritated tone. "If you're gonna fuck me, then fuck me. Don't fucking play around!"

"Fuck! You're so goddamn tight! I'm afraid to move," Elliot admitted as he leaned over to kiss his boyfriend's shoulder. 

"Just m-move already," Shepard demanded in a trembling voice.

"A-are you in pain?" Elliot asked, noticing the trembling in his boyfriend's voice.

"I-I'll be okay. It'll go away once you start moving," the young blonde insisted.

Not wanting to cause his boyfriend any unnecessary pain, Elliot did just as Shepard had asked and began to move. Going deeper with each thrust, until he finally found his rhythm.

"You feel so fucking good, baby — way better than a pussy," Elliot moaned as he continued to thrust into the young blonde. "Do you like it, baby? Do you like the feel of my cock inside you?"

"Uh-huh…" Shepard cried out when Elliot hit that spot deep inside him. "There! Fuck me harder! Please, please — Harder…" The blue-eyed boy called out with tears of ecstasy running down his face. 

"I'm close, baby," Elliot warned as his thrusts became even more erratic. "I'm gonna fill you up, beautiful!"

"Cum in me, please," Shepard whined, trying his best to please his partner — knowing that those words would please him. 

Once Elliot heard those words from Shepard's mouth, that was all it took. In an instant, Elliot cried out as he emptied himself deep within his young lover's body — convulsing uncontrollably as the pleasure took over.

Shepard followed shortly after, the feel of Elliot's orgasm inside him proving too much to take, causing the young blonde to effectively milk the older boy above him.

"Fuck," the older boy exclaimed, still buried deep inside his young lover, as he collapsed in a heap on top of the younger boy. "Am… Am I crushing you?" Elliot asked as he struggled to catch his breath. "I can move if you want me to."

"No! Please, just stay," Shepard whimpered as his body continued to tremble, "Just stay inside me for a little longer."

"Okay," Elliot whispered as he held the boy close to him. "I won't pull out. I'll stay inside for as long as I can."

Unfortunately for Shepard, it didn't take long for Elliot to slip out, leaving the blonde feeling empty and well-used. 

Whimpering at the loss, Shepard turned to look at his dark-haired lover, smiling as he gently touched his lover's face. "Did I do good?"

"Way better than good," the older boy praised as he kissed the blue-eyed boy softly on the lips. "Did you like it? Did **I** do good?"

Shepard laughed warmly. "I fucking **loved** it! You did real good. I'm happy."

Elliot laughed as he held his lover tighter. "Pretty great first time, wasn't it?"

"Yep, pretty fucking great!" Shepard agreed.

"I'm kinda glad you didn't bite me, beautiful," Elliot teased as he kissed the young blonde on the top of the head. "I don't think I would've survived the orgasm if you had."

Shepard looked up at his boyfriend in confusion. "You keep saying that — you know, stuff about me biting you. What the hell is that about?" Shepard asked with a chuckle.

"Yeah, I guess you **were** too little to remember," Elliot grinned as he lazily stroked his boyfriend's back.

"Too little to remember what?" The blue-eyed boy asked curiously.

"Well, we met years ago, like eleven years ago. We were in the same group home. You were so fucking cute, and I wanted to play with you so fucking bad. So, I asked you to play, and well, you being you, refused to play," Elliot explained, "Naturally, I got angry and tried to make you get up and play with me. The second I grabbed your arm, you bit the hell outta me. I mean, you **really** fucking bit me, **hard**. So motherfucking hard that it broke the skin. Yep, you drew blood. So, yeah, I'm a little wary of your bite."

"You made that up," Shepard insisted with a smile.

"Here's the scar where you bit me," Elliot chuckled as he showed the tiny scar to his skeptical boyfriend.

"Huh, I don't remember that," Shepard chuckled as he kissed the scar on his lover's arm. "I'm sorry I bit you. I won't do it again — unless you tell me to."

"Aw, you're so sweet," Elliot said as he kissed Shepard on the forehead. 

" _Yawn…_ I'm tired," the young blonde admitted as he snuggled closer to his boyfriend.

"Yeah, me too. The sheet's all sticky, but I'm too damn tired to change it. How about you, Shepa-" The words died on Elliot's tongue as he noticed his lover already sleeping softly. "I guess that answers my question. Sweet dreams, beautiful," Elliot whispered as he pulled the blanket over them and closed his eyes to join his lover in sleep.

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I handled this chapter well. It was a tricky one because of the age. I wanted to show how Shepard is growing up way too fast, and doesn't know what it's like to be a kid, but at the same time showing his age (his eagerness to please Elliot is a prime example). 
> 
> Thanks for reading.


	12. Broken Trust — Broken Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard's life spirals as his devotion to Elliot grows. 
> 
> **This chapter contains underage drinking, drug use, dubious consent of a minor, and underage sex between minors.**

**_"_** **_They're Just Ghosts"_ **

_Ask you what you're thinking about_

_Ask you what you're dreaming about_

_Say your life is full of doubts_

_You don't know what you're talking about_

_You tell me what's on your mind_

_But how can you be so blind_

_I am the one who's hurting_

_But I'm just a burden_

_In the chaos, I see the bliss_

_In the mayhem, I see the abyss_

_Just when you needed them the most_

_They're just ghosts_

_In the chaos, I see the bliss_

_In the mayhem, I see the abyss_

_Just when you needed them the most_

_They're just ghosts_

_They're just gh-gh-gh…ghosts_

_Gh-gh-gh-ghosts in the, in the, gh-gh, may-mayhem_

_Gh-gh, they're just gho-gho-gho…ghosts_

_May-mayhem, gh-ghosts_

_I obey all your desires_

_But you let me burn in the fire_

_Spent my days trying to impress_

_Fill up your emptiness_

_I don't know what else to say_

_I can feel you pull away_

_You don't understand where I come from_

_'Cause you're just numb_

_In the chaos, I see the bliss_

_In the mayhem, I see the abyss_

_Just when you needed them the most_

_They're just ghosts_

_In the chaos, I see the bliss_

_In the mayhem, I see the abyss_

_Just when you needed them the most_

_They're just ghosts!_

_They're just ghosts!…_

_Watching you fade away_

_You let me disintegrate_

_Don't leave me on my own_

_Watching you fade away_

_You let me disintegrate_

_Don't leave me on my own_

_In the chaos, I see the bliss_

_In the mayhem, I see the abyss_

_Just when you needed them the most_

_They're just ghosts_

_In the chaos, I see the bliss_

_In the mayhem, I see the abyss_

_Just when you needed them the most_

_They're just ghosts_

**_—_ ** **_Motion Blur featuring Peter Jessy —_ **

**~~~☆~~~**

"Ow-ow-ow… Does it always hurt this bad?" The chocolate-eyed boy asked as he limped across the room to collect his discarded clothes.

Shepard began laughing uncontrollably at his very tender lover, his sapphire-blue eyes sparkling in amusement. "It can't be that bad. You're just acting a bit over-dramatic, as usual," the blonde boy chuckled as he sat up in bed.

"Are you laughing at me?" Elliot chuckled as he gingerly bent down to retrieve his discarded things. "Ow! Ow! Ow! Am I leaking? Goddammit, you wrecked my ass!"

The younger boy rolled his eyes at his dramatic lover. "I prepped you real good. There's no way you're in that much pain. My cock ain't that big. You're just acting like a pussy," Shepard scolded as he stretched his arms over his head.

"How long will I be limping for? I mean, can people tell that I've been, well, you know…" The brown-eyed boy inquired with a wince.

"Fucked," the young blonde chuckled as he completed the older boy's sentence. "Maybe. They'll definitely know if you don't stop whining like a little bitch. I mean, come on! I was gentle as a lamb with you."

"And I appreciate it, beautiful," Elliot said in a grateful tone, "I'm just so fucking sore. And you never answered my question. How long before I can walk without a limp?"

"It shouldn't take long," the blonde answered truthfully, "Everybody's different though. With all the preparation you had, it shouldn't take long at all for you to be back to normal."

"Good," Elliot laughed, "I thought I was gonna be bow-legged forever."

Shepard grinned as he walked over and held his boyfriend from behind. "I'm sorry I hurt you. I take it you aren't a fan of bottoming."

"I didn't **dislike** it. I mean, I came like a motherfucker. I just didn't expect to be so sore afterwards. Do you get sore after?" Elliot asked his boyfriend, curiously.

"Not very often," Shepard admitted, "But sometimes I do. It's not a big deal, at least not to me."

"You are a motherfucking champ!" The chocolate-eyed boy chuckled as he kissed his blue-eyed love.

"Was it really that bad for you?" The blonde asked as his smile turned to a concerned frown. "I really didn't mean to hurt you. It was my first time on top, so I might have lost control a bit. I'm sorry."

"Baby, it wasn't bad at all! The only thing that sucked was the beginning and the end. The middle was fucking amazing! And I'm not saying I won't ever bottom again, I'm just saying, that I ain't man enough to take it as often as you," Elliot explained. "You get what I'm saying, beautiful?"

"Yeah, I think so," Shepard nodded in relief. "I'm glad you liked it."

Elliot kissed his young lover gently. "I guess we better get back. Curfew is in a few hours."

"Yeah," Shepard agreed as he picked up his clothing, and quickly got dressed. "You know if Jamie sees you limping, he's gonna know I fucked you."

"God, I hope he doesn't notice," Elliot sighed, "He's liable to tell the entire unit."

"W-would that be so bad?" The blue-eyed boy asked nervously.

Noticing the nervousness in his lover's voice, Elliot took Shepard's head in his hands and kissed him softly. "No, of course not. But if the director finds out, he might separate us. I don't want that to happen."

Shepard was relieved at the older boy's answer. "I guess you better get a five ready. 'Cause you are limping like a motherfucker."

Elliot grabbed Shepard's ass hard as he spoke, "And whose fault is that?"

"Guilty," the blue-eyed boy grinned as he kissed his boyfriend softly. "We really need to go."

"Yeah," the older boy agreed as he pulled away to finish putting on his clothes. 

"After you, bowlegs," Shepard teased as he held the door open for his pitiful boyfriend.

"Not funny, Shepard!"

"Yes, it is," the blonde boy chuckled as he shut the door behind them and made their way home.

**~~~☆~~~**

The next few weeks were filled with greater experimentation for the young couple, with Elliot often pushing the boundaries of what the young blonde deemed comfortable. Elliot was delighted, however, to find that his young lover was very malleable, making the blue-eyed boy the perfect fit for the older boy's deepest desires — those desires often leading to the boys having sex multiple times a day. After a while, they couldn't keep their hands off one another. 

"Shepard," Elliot whispered just loud enough for the blue-eyed boy to hear, "You awake?"

The young blonde softly turned to face the older boy, "Yeah. I can't sleep."

"You okay," the brunette asked in concern.

"Yeah, just restless," the younger boy admitted.

"Wanna fuck?" Elliot asked with his predatory grin.

"We can't. We'll get caught," Shepard warned.

"Not if we sneak upstairs," the brown-eyed boy suggested. "No one can hear us from up there."

"Let's go," the blue-eyed boy agreed as he quietly got up from his bed.

"Hell yeah," Elliot said as he eagerly followed the young blonde to the third floor.

**~~~☆~~~**

It didn't take long for the young couple to reach the third floor — rushing eagerly to the large darkened room that had become so familiar to the two boys. In no time, the abandoned room was filled with the unmistakable sounds of sex.

"No matter how often I fuck you, I just can't get enough," Elliot grunted as he continued to thrust up into the young blonde.

"Good to know," Shepard grinned as he wrapped his legs tighter around the older boy's waist, causing the older boy to moan and thrust even harder into the young blonde.

"So fucking tight," Elliot whispered as he began sucking on the blue-eyed boy's neck.

With a moan, Shepard turned his head slightly to allow his lover better access to his neck. "Fuck me harder," the blonde demanded as he arched his back, and ran his nails down his boyfriend's back.

"Fuck! I love it when you do that," Elliot admitted as he continued his assault on his lover's neck.

Noticing movement to his left, Shepard quickly glanced towards the door, only to find the local gossip, Jamie, standing in the doorway with his dick in hand, watching, intently, as Shepard was thoroughly fucked by his brown-eyed lover.

"Jamie's… watching us— again," the young blonde whispered as he gasped for breath.

The older boy chuckled as he thrust hard into his young lover, causing the blue-eyed boy's eyes to roll back in his head in ecstasy. "Let him watch. I'm not the only one that can't seem to take their eyes off you."

Shepard decided to ignore their guest and concentrate on what was most important, getting off.

"I'm close," Elliot warned as he began to thrust erratically into the boy.

"Fill me up, baby," Shepard moaned as he felt his boyfriend's body convulse.

"I'm cumming, baby," Elliot announced as he ground himself deeper into his young lover. "Milk me good, beautiful."

Shepard moaned as he reached for his own length, tensing in shock when a pale, white hand beat him to it. "Jamie, what the fuck?" Shepard asked in shock and confusion.

"Let me taste you," Jamie begged, "I wanna know what it tastes like."

"I don't think that's a good id—" 

"Just let him do it for you," Elliot instructed. "I'd love to watch."

"I-if you want him to, then I guess it wouldn't hurt," Shepard replied, wanting to make his lover happy.

"Fuck yeah, I want him to," Elliot admitted truthfully, as he continued to grind himself deep inside his lover.

"Well, are you gonna let me or not?" Jamie asked as he continued to stroke the uncertain boy.

Shepard just nodded as he leaned his head back against the wall.

It only took about five minutes for Shepard to cum, the orgasm leaving him tired and a little wobbly.

"You taste kinda sweet-like, but kinda salty too," the auburn-haired boy mused. "Not half as bitter as mine."

"It's good, right," Elliot grinned as he held Shepard tightly from behind. "My boy's fucking irresistible," Elliot praised as he nibbled on the young blonde's ear.

"He is," Jamie agreed with a chuckle. "Maybe you can blow me now, eh, Shepard?"

"What about it, Shepard? Do you wanna blow Jamie?" Elliot asked against Shepard's ear with a mischievous grin. 

"I-I don't know," Shepard said nervously.

"It'd be really sexy, beautiful," the older boy coaxed, "I'd love to watch. I just love the look of ecstasy on your face when you give head."

"A-alright," the blue-eyed boy agreed nervously.

"Shit yeah," the auburn-haired boy yelled as he quickly pulled his pants down. "Don't be shy! I know you're really good at it!"

Shepard slowly fell to his knees, and numbly took the boy into his mouth. 

The auburn-haired boy moaned in delight as he ran a hand through the sweat-soaked blonde hair.

"That's so fucking hot," Elliot whispered. "Look at him Shepard, let him see those sexy blue eyes."

Shepard immediately did as he was told, turning his gaze to the auburn-haired boy. "There's a good boy," Elliot praised, extremely satisfied with his boyfriend's performance.

It didn't take long for the auburn-haired boy to finish, causing the young blonde to cough and gag at the taste filling his mouth.

"Goddammit, Jamie, who said you could cum in my mouth?" The young blonde yelled as he tried to get the taste out of his mouth.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to," Jamie apologized, "You're just **so** good at it. I couldn't help it. It just happened."

"Take it as a compliment, babe," Elliot chuckled as he moved to take Jamie's place in front of the still kneeling Shepard. "Here, beautiful. Let me help you get that taste out of your mouth."

"Well, I better get back to my room," Jamie said as he made his way towards the exit. "Thanks, Shepard! It was fucking awesome! Later, Elliot."

"Later, Jamie," Elliot chuckled as he waved goodbye to the young boy.

Shepard stared at his boyfriend in silence for a few seconds, unable to understand the older boy's logic.

"Come on, beautiful, don't zone out on me now," Elliot chuckled as he placed his length to Shepard's slightly swollen lips. 

Without a word, the young blonde opened his mouth and proceeded to do exactly what his boyfriend had wanted. Taking him deep within his throat, just as his boyfriend liked. It wasn't long before Elliot was cumming down his boyfriend's willing throat.

"So fucking good! Your mouth is the best!" Elliot praised as he gently cupped his young lover's cheek.

The young blonde smiled as he nuzzled into the brunette's hand, happy to have pleased his brown-eyed lover. "Did I do good?"

"Yeah, beautiful, you did real good. Well, babe, we better be getting back to our beds," Elliot chuckled as he pulled the blue-eyed boy to his feet, kissing him fiercely once he stood.

"Yeah," Shepard whispered as he followed his lover back to their dorm.

**~~~☆~~~**

"Goodnight, beautiful," Elliot whispered as he climbed into his bed.

"'Night," Shepard mumbled as he pulled the covers over his head.

'I don't understand Elliot at all,' Shepard thought anxiously.

_'I understand him perfectly. He's a goddamn sex addict! And you're just his little plaything. A sex toy, nothing more,'_ the voice said bluntly.

'He says he loves me, and I don't think he means to make me uncomfortable. It's just his way,' Shepard explained silently.

_'God, you are so fucking stupid!'_

'Maybe I am, but I just wanna make him happy. Is that so wrong?'

_'_ ** _Sigh—_ ** _Goodnight, Shepard. You motherfucking moron!'_

**~~~☆~~~**

In the weeks that followed, Elliot had pushed Shepard even further. Voyeuristic pleasure had become the norm for Elliot, which, more often than not, had left the young blonde feeling empty and confused. Shepard just couldn't understand why Elliot was so obsessed with having someone in the room whenever they had sex. It was like an obsession, an obsession that Shepard was quickly growing tired of.

"Hey, Baby Boy," Ryan called out as he motioned for Shepard to come and sit next to him.

"Hey, Walker," the blue-eyed boy replied in a tired voice.

"You feeling okay?" Ryan asked as he placed his hand on the younger boy's forehead.

"I ain't sick, Ryan," Shepard whined as he pushed the older boy's hand from his forehead.

"Then what's wrong?" The grey-eyed boy asked, hoping that the younger boy would open up to him. "Is it Elliot? Are you guys having problems?"

"Yes… No — Hell, I dunno," the blue-eyed boy admitted truthfully.

"Did he do something to piss you off?" Ryan asked as he handed the younger boy a bottle of water.

"Kinda," Shepard said as he took a drink of water, "Promise me that whatever we talk about will be just between us. You can't tell Aaron. Promise?"

"So, that's why you told me not to tell Aaron I was meeting you," Ryan grinned. "And here I thought that maybe you were finally confessing your love for me. Seriously, though, I promise. My lips are sealed."

"It's about sex," the young blonde explained. "I can't talk to Aaron about it because, well, he fucking hates Elliot. Plus, he thinks I'm a fucking baby. He'd fucking lose his shit if he knew I was having sex."

Ryan spat his water in shock, nearly choking in the process, "You and Elliot… you guys are…"

"Fucking, Ryan. We're fucking. Yes," Shepard confirmed as he shook his head at the grey-eyed boy. "Don't tell me that you're gonna freak out too."

"No, I'm not gonna freak out. It was just a shock," Ryan answered honestly. "Anyway, what's the trouble? Is he rough with you? 'Cause if he is, I’ll kick his ass."

"No, nothing like that," the young blonde replied. "He's into some kinky shit, though."

"What do you mean by kinky?" Ryan asked curiously. "You mean, like bondage and shit? Does he want to pee on you? Give me a hint here."

"No, it ain't bondage. And **hell no** , he ain't into pee. Seriously, Walker, you scare me sometimes," the blue-eyed boy said as he gave his friend a disapproving look. "He likes to let people watch."

"He likes to let people watch what?" The grey-eyed boy asked in confusion.

"Sex," Shepard answered simply.

"Sex… With himself? Or, with…" Ryan left the word unsaid, unwilling to acknowledge the possibility.

"Me. He likes to let people watch us when we fuck," the blue-eyed boy explained.

Ryan suddenly felt nauseous. "How the hell did that even come up? Did he just say, 'Hey, Shepard, this is my buddy, he's gonna watch us bang, okay?' I mean, seriously, what the fuck, Shepard!?"

"If you're gonna judge me, then just forget I said anything," the young blonde snapped as he moved to leave the table.

Ryan quickly grabbed the younger boy's arm. "Sit down, Baby Boy," Ryan insisted. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to judge. I was just surprised. So, are you into it, or is it making you uncomfortable?"

"Honestly, I don't care if someone watches or not. It doesn't bother me," the young blonde admitted.

"Well, if it doesn't bother you, then what's the problem," Ryan asked, uncertain as to what was troubling the young blonde.

"He seems to want them to do more than watch," the blue-eyed boy explained, "Know what I mean?"

Ryan was really beginning to hate Shepard's boyfriend. "He wants a threesome, but you're not into that. Am I right?"

"No, not exactly," Shepard replied as he struggled to explain, purposefully leaving out the incident with Jamie, "Elliot **might** want to watch **me** do things with other guys."

"Is that something **you** want to do," Ryan asked as the dread built up inside him. 

"I don't know. That's the problem," the blonde said as he rubbed his face in frustration.

"If you're not sure, then **DO NOT DO IT**. Trust me, Baby Boy, no matter how much you like this guy, don't do anything that you're unsure of," Ryan suggested as he gently rubbed the younger boy's back. "You'll end up regretting it, and that would suck, yeah."

"Yeah, I get what you're saying," Shepard replied as he smiled at his grey-eyed friend.

"Call me whenever you need to," Ryan said as he bumped shoulders with the young blonde. "I'm not as smart as Aaron, but I'll do my best."

"Thanks, Walker," Shepard smiled, "I'm too scared to talk to Aaron about Elliot. I don't wanna cause a fight."

Ryan chuckled, "Aaron's a scary motherfucker when it comes to his J."

"I don't mind," the blue-eyed boy shrugged as he blushed at his friend's words, causing Ryan to smile fondly at the boy.

"Shepard, babe," Elliot called out, causing Shepard to seek him out. "Let's go."

"I gotta go," the young blonde mumbled as he got up, "Thanks again, Ryan."

"Do you need a condom or anything?" Ryan asked as he fished one out of his wallet.

"Nah, I'm good," Shepard smiled.

"You sure?" Ryan asked, praying silently that his young friend was practising safe sex.

"Yep. Later, Walker," the blue-eyed boy waved as he followed his boyfriend out of the building.

**~~~☆~~~**

"You know that friend of mine that's been watching us — you know, the older guy with the dirty-blonde hair," Elliot asked as he took Shepard by the hand.

"What about him?" The young blonde asked, dreading the reply.

"He wants to join us," Elliot said with a wink.

"Doesn't he do that already?" Shepard asked in confusion.

"No, beautiful. He wants us all to fuck — together," Elliot laughed, amused by his boyfriend's reaction.

"Like a threesome?" The blue-eyed boy asked nervously.

"Yep," the brown-eyed boy replied, sensing the nervousness in his lover's voice, Elliot tried his best to put him at ease. "You don't have to be nervous, beautiful. We're not going to 'DP' you or anything. You can trust me. I'll be right there. I won't let anything happen to you."

"I don't know," Shepard said, unsure about the situation.

"If you love me, you'll do it," the brunette pouted.

"Elliot, that's not fair," Shepard exclaimed.

"Come on, beautiful. Don't make me beg," Elliot whined.

Shepard chewed his lip nervously. "Fine, but he uses a condom. That's not negotiable. You hear me, Elliot?"

"I hear you, loud and clear, beautiful," Elliot grinned as he hugged the boy tight. 

"When?" Shepard asked, hoping it wasn't anytime soon.

"This Saturday," the older boy replied. "I'll get permission for an overnight stay."

"How the hell are you going to do that?" Shepard asked skeptically.

"I have my ways," Elliot winked, "Don't worry, babe. I got us covered."

Shepard smiled at his boyfriend as he hugged him tightly. "I love you. You know that. Don't you, Elliot?"

"Of course I know, beautiful," the brown-eyed boy chuckled, "You show me every day. You wanna go somewhere, just you and me?"

"I can't. I have to get back," Shepard explained, "I have a test, remember?"

" _Sigh—_ I keep forgetting that you don't go to school like the rest of us," Elliot said in disappointment.

"It was too late to start, so they just let me finish the year at home," the young blonde explained.

"Yeah, I get it," the older boy nodded as he took his boyfriend by the hand. "I guess I'll go home with you."

"Alright," Shepard mumbled as he allowed the older boy to lead him home.

**~~~☆~~~**

**Saturday afternoon —**

"Shepard, can you meet me at the hotel later?" Elliot asked apologetically.

"I thought we were going together?" Shepard asked in confusion as he continued putting away the laundry.

"We were, beautiful," the older boy explained as he gently hugged his lover from behind, "But, I've got to pick up a few things for tonight, and I don't know how long it'll take."

"What kinds of things?" The young blonde asked curiously.

Elliot chuckled lightly, "Just a few things to make sure that the evening goes smoothly."

"Uh-huh," the blue-eyed boy grinned as he rolled his eyes at the brown-eyed boy, "Just don't leave me waiting for long. I don't like standing out in the cold."

"I shouldn't be too long," the older boy promised. "I should be there by five."

"If that's the way you want it," Shepard agreed as he kissed his boyfriend goodbye. "I'll meet you there."

"Love you, beautiful!" Elliot called out as he turned to exit the room.

"Love you too," the blue-eyed boy grinned as he watched his lover leave.

**~~~☆~~~**

"Come on, Elliot. Hurry up," Shepard said to himself as he glanced down at his watch, "I'm freezing my ass off here!"

"Hey, beautiful," Elliot called out as he made his way over to the chilly blonde, "I'm sorry I'm late. It took a little longer than I thought. I'll go get the key — wait right here."

The younger boy waited, patiently, as he rocked back and forth in an effort to warm himself slightly. 

"Let's go, beautiful," the older boy said, as he took the younger boy's hand. "Jeez, babe! Your hands are fucking freezing."

"No shit," the blue-eyed boy whispered in annoyance.

It only took a few short minutes for the boys to make it to their room.

"Come here, beautiful," Elliot instructed as he held his arms out towards his young love, "Let me try and warm you up a bit."

The blue-eyed boy smiled as he allowed himself to be held tightly by his much warmer boyfriend.

"I'm so sorry that you had to wait so long," the brunette said, apologetically, as he rubbed the young blonde's arms in an attempt to warm him. "You're so goddamn cold, beautiful. I think you need a new jacket or something."

"I'll be fine in a minute," the blue-eyed boy assured as he kissed the older boy gently.

Once Shepard had stopped shivering, the boys decided to get comfortable — removing their jackets, followed quickly by their shoes and socks.

"Shepard, beautiful, why is your leg bouncing like that?" Elliot asked with a chuckle. "Are you nervous?"

"A little," the young blonde admitted. "I ain't sure what to expect, you know."

"You don't have anything to worry about," the brown-eyed boy promised as he gently rubbed his partner's back. "You know Chris. He's been here at least half-a-dozen times. He won't hurt you, beautiful."

"When will he be here?" Shepard asked anxiously.

"He'll be here soon," Elliot said as he brushed a stray hair from the nervous young blonde's brow. "Just relax, baby. Can you do that for me?"

"I'm trying," the younger boy admitted as he rubbed his face roughly, "But I just can't seem to calm down."

"Lie back on the bed, and take a few deep breaths," Elliot commanded as he made his way over to the pack sitting on the floor. "I've got something that'll calm you down and make you feel really good at the same time."

"I don't think beer is gonna work this time," Shepard replied as he placed his arm across his face, effectively hiding his sapphire eyes.

Elliot laughed a little at his nervous boyfriend. "It's not beer. It's something better," the brown-eyed boy assured as he pulled a small baggy from his pack.

"What is it?" The blonde boy asked as he felt the bed shift from the weight of his lover.

"Nothing you need to worry about," Elliot said as he gently coaxed the boy's forearm from his face. "Open your mouth for me."

"Seriously, Elliot, what the hell is it?" The younger boy asked, unsure of whether he should take the offering.

"It's just a little something to make you feel good," Elliot promised, "It's not fentanyl or anything like that. It's totally safe, I promise."

"It won't hurt me?" Shepard asked nervously. 

"No, beautiful! Of course not!" Elliot exclaimed, slightly irritated at his young lover for even considering the possibility. "You know I would **never** give you anything to hurt you."

_'I don't fucking like this, Shepard! He says it won't hurt you, but he can't know for sure. You_ **_know_ ** _that! You aren't a total idiot. Don't do it!'_ The voice warned.

'I'm sorry, but I trust Elliot.' Shepard thought as he slowly opened his mouth.

_'You motherfucking moron! Don't come crying to me when things go to shit! I fucking warned you!'_

"That's my boy," Elliot grinned as he placed the small tablet on his lover's tongue. "Now, just sit back and relax, and you'll feel better in no time."

Shepard waited patiently for about fifteen minutes before finally speaking. "Elliot, when is this shit supposed to kick in? 'Cause I don't feel no different."

Elliot chuckled a bit at the blue-eyed boy. "Be patient, beautiful. It takes a while," the brown-eyed boy reassured.

"Is Chris coming, or did he change his mind?" Shepard asked.

"I'm texting him now," Elliot replied as he continued to tap away on his cell. "He'll be here in about twenty minutes or so. You want a beer, Shepard?"

"Yeah," the blue-eyed boy replied with a nod.

"Here, beautiful," the brunette said as he handed him the beer. "You feeling better now?"

"I feel warm," the young blonde admitted with a small laugh. "I love you, Elliot. Can I kiss you?"

The older boy broke out in laughter. "I see it's finally kicking in. I love you too, beautiful. You can kiss me anytime," Elliot grinned as he made his way onto the bed.

The older boy wasted no time in pouncing on his young lover, kissing the blonde boy deeply. "I fucking love the way you kiss! I could get drunk on it!"

The young blonde chuckled at his boyfriend's words. "I wanna kiss you **everywhere** ," Shepard replied, feeling more aroused than he ever thought possible. "Will you let me?"

"Fuck yes," Elliot moaned as he began taking his clothes off.

"Shouldn't we wait for what's-his-name?" Shepard asked as he slowly took his shirt off.

"Fuck that! If he wanted first-shot, then he should have gotten here on time," Elliot replied as he quickly removed the rest of his young lover's clothing. 

"I want you in my mouth so bad," the young blonde whined as he desperately kissed his brown-eyed lover.

"Lie back, beautiful, and I'll let you taste every inch," Elliot promised as he gently pushed the blonde onto his back.

Five minutes later, the hotel room door creaked open as a familiar young man with dirty-blonde hair loudly entered.

"Well, well, look what we have here," Chris chuckled as he took in the sight of the two before him — Elliot straddling the young blonde's chest with his cock buried deep inside the younger boy's throat. "How does it feel, El? Is it good?"

"Fucking incredible! He's a master at sucking cock," Elliot said with a moan, "I'm gonna cum, beautiful. Swallow it all for me."

Shepard struggled with the sheer volume but somehow managed to swallow everything that his lover had to give — coughing, softly, as he let Elliot's cock slip from his slightly swollen mouth.

"Fuck, that was hot!" The older blonde exclaimed as he quickly removed his clothing. "Kind of rude of you to start without me, wasn't it, El?"

Elliot chuckled a bit at his friend. "You should have gotten here on time."

"Yeah, yeah," Chris said as he made his way to the bed. "Is he into it, or is he going to try to fight me?" The older boy asked as he gently stroked his length.

"My baby's all warmed up," Elliot assured him. "He just needed a little help is all."

"Nice. Hey, babydoll, you wanna play?" Chris asked as he leaned in to kiss the blue-eyed boy. "You want to taste me? Open that sweet mouth for me." 

Shepard was in a haze, and with a nod from his boyfriend, he opened his mouth and accepted the intrusion.

"That's a good boy. He's so fucking good at this," the older man moaned as he began to thrust into the young blonde's throat.

"Hey, not so rough, Chris! I don't want my boy hurt," Elliot warned as Chris eased up on the younger boy before pulling away from the young blonde’s mouth.

"Can I take him first?" The older boy asked. 

"Sure. That shouldn't be a problem," the brown-eyed boy assured Chris as he gently stroked Shepard's soft blonde hair. "He's gonna fuck you, beautiful. And it's gonna feel so fucking good."

"Are you gonna watch me?" The blue-eyed boy asked as he held on tightly to his lover's arm. "Don't leave me alone. Please, Elliot."

"I won't, beautiful," the brown-eyed boy promised as he kissed his boyfriend's forehead. "I'm right here." 

"You wanna get him ready, or do you want me to do it?" Chris asked as he opened the bottle of lubricant.

"I'll do it. I know how to get him revved up," Elliot grinned as he took his place between Shepard's legs. "Turn over on your stomach, beautiful."

It didn't take long. And before Shepard knew it, he was being penetrated by the older blonde.

"He's so fucking tight!" Chris moaned as he slowly entered the young blonde. "I can't wait to loosen him up."

"Does it feel good, beautiful?" Elliot asked as he stroked his lover's hair. 

Shepard moaned as the older blonde pulled out before pushing back in with a little more force. "More…" Shepard whined as he tried to push back against the older blonde.

"Eager, isn't he?" Chris chuckled as he forcefully slammed into the blue-eyed boy.

Shepard gasped at the sudden movement, trembling as he tried to adjust.

"I'm gonna fuck you so goddamn hard," the older blonde said as he began pistoning into Shepard.

Shepard moaned, loudly, as he clenched the sheets in pleasure.

"Yeah, baby. Take that cock! You look so fucking hot right now, beautiful," Elliot encouraged as he kissed the boy roughly.

"Fuck, yes! I can feel him pushing back against me. He wants it more than I do," Chris grunted as he continued his assault on the young blonde.

"Open your mouth, beautiful," Elliot instructed as he took his place in front of the boy.

Shepard nodded — his mind hazy, and his body on fire with arousal, he quickly took his lover into his mouth, enjoying the familiar feel of it on his tongue.

It didn't take long for the three of them to reach their peak. Each of the young men cumming hard in satisfaction. 

"That was so goddamn amazing!" Chris announced as he pulled out of the young blonde. "Tonight's gonna be fun!"

"I told you! My baby's the best! Ain't none better," Elliot praised as he pulled the young blonde close. 

"Did I do good?" Shepard asked, shyly, as Elliot ran a hand through the boy's sweat-soaked hair.

"You did **great** , beautiful," Elliot assured his lover. "We're gonna have fun all night!"

Throughout the night, the boys had sex several times — leaving Shepard's body spent, and nearing its limit.

"Elliot, I'm tired," the younger boy whispered, as the older blonde continued thrusting into him.

"I know, beautiful," Elliot said as he ran a hand through Shepard's sweat-soaked hair. "You can rest soon. Hey, Chris, pull out already! My baby's tired."

"I'm too fucking close to pull-out now," Chris growled as he continued to pound into the now-limp body.

"Hurry the fuck up! He's tired, you asshole," Elliot snapped.

It took another five minutes for Chris to finish, cumming hard inside the young blue-eyed boy beneath him.

"That was good," Chris grinned as he collapsed next to Shepard.

"Took you long enough," Elliot said in an unhappy tone.

"Don't be mad, El," Chris pleaded, "He's just so damn good. You can't blame me for taking my time."

"Yeah, yeah," Elliot chuckled as he snuggled closer to his exhausted boyfriend. "You can sleep on that side of the bed, Chris."

"Don't I get to snuggle too?" Chris asked with a pout.

"Shepard's mine," Elliot chuckled, "I'm the only one who gets to hold him."

"As long as I get to fuck him, it's all good," Chris chuckled as he made himself comfortable.

"You okay, beautiful?" Elliot asked as he kissed Shepard softly on the forehead.

"Sleepy," Shepard mumbled as he buried his head in Elliot's chest.

"Sleep all you want, beautiful," the brown-eyed boy whispered as he held the boy tight.

"Goodnight, gentlemen," Chris said with a yawn as he turned off the lamp.

**~~~☆~~~**

Shepard's sapphire eyes fluttered open as he slowly wiped the sleep from his eyes. "What happened?" The young blonde asked as he tried to sit up. "Ugh– Why am I so goddamn sore?" 

Unsure of what had happened, the young blonde anxiously looked around the room for Elliot.

Suddenly, he was pinned to the bed from behind by an unknown figure.

"Hey, babydoll," the older blonde whispered softly into the stunned blue-eyed boy's ear. "I had so much fun last night. How about we go again?"

"Get the fuck off me!" Shepard screamed as he tried his best to shake the older man off. " **Elliot**! Where are you?"

Upon hearing his boyfriend's screaming, Elliot rushed out of the washroom in nothing but a towel. "What the hell's going on!?"

"Get him off me! Please!" Shepard screamed as the tears ran down his face.

" _Sigh—_ Chris, get the fuck off him. I think you had enough last night," Elliot said in annoyance.

"Aw, El, I just wanted another taste before I left," Chris whined as he rolled off the young blonde and moved to get dressed.

"I think you had plenty already," Elliot chuckled as he removed his towel and continued getting dressed.

Shepard was lost. He remembered nothing of the night before, and the ease of conversation he was seeing between the two young men was making him extremely uncomfortable.

"How much do I owe you, El?" Chris asked as he opened his wallet.

"Hmm… How about $250?" Elliot asked as he scratched his chin. "That's a fair price, eh? I mean, he's one of the best fucks you've ever had. Am I right?"

Shepard's sapphire-blue eyes went wide in shock and hurt. 

'He sold me?' Shepard thought to himself as his chest became tighter.

_'It fucking looks that way, doesn't it? I_ **_told_ ** _you not to take that goddamn pill! Why don't you ever fucking listen!?'_ The voice scolded.

"Sure enough. That seems like a fair enough price," Chris agreed as he fished out two brown bills and one red, handing them to the young brunette. "Let's do it again sometime, eh."

"Anytime, Chris," the brown-eyed boy grinned as he waved goodbye to the older boy. "See you around, eh."

"Later, El!" Chris waved as he made his way out of the room.

"You ready to get dressed, beautiful," Elliot asked as he tossed Shepard's clothes onto the bed.

Shepard didn't respond. He was frozen in shock as he just stared at his lover in disbelief. 

"What's wrong, baby?" The older boy asked as he tried to touch the young blonde's face.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" Shepard screamed, causing Elliot to flinch in surprise.

"Are you okay?" Elliot asked in confusion. "You're acting weird."

"YOU SOLD ME! YOU FUCKING **SOLD** ME!" Shepard screamed. "How could you do that to me!? I thought you loved me," Shepard cried as the tears broke free.

"I **do** love you, beautiful," Elliot explained, "I'm going to give you half. It isn't a big deal. I mean, we were already having sex with him, so why not get paid for it? I don't see the problem. It's not a big deal."

"Not a big…" Shepard shook his head in disbelief. "What the hell's wrong with you, Elliot?"

"You need to calm down, beautiful," Elliot suggested.

"Fuck you, Elliot!" The young blonde screamed. As he rose to put on his pants, Shepard could feel the semen leaking from his over-used body. "Did he cum in me?" Shepard asked quietly, already knowing the answer in his heart.

"Yeah, he did," Elliot answered truthfully. "But you never told him to wear a condom, so that's on you, Shepard, not me!"

"You fucking drugged me! And I fucking told you that he had to wear a condom — I told you that wasn't negotiable. How could you let him do that to me when you knew how I felt?"

"Look, it just happened, beautiful," Elliot explained. "It happened so fast. I just wasn't thinking. I'm sorry."

"You're sorry," Shepard chuckled as he pulled his shirt over his head. "Sorry ain't good enough, Elliot. Not this time."

"Baby, don't say that," Elliot begged as he moved to touch his angry boyfriend.

"Don't you fucking touch me, Elliot!" Shepard screamed as he finished dressing.

"Where are you going? Can't we talk this through?" The brown-eyed boy asked, knowing he had fucked up.

"Fuck you! I'm leaving!" Shepard yelled as he grabbed his jacket and headed out the door.

"Shepard, baby! Come back, beautiful," Elliot begged as he called out to the younger boy until he disappeared from sight. "Fuck!"

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was probably the most sexually explicit thing I have ever written, but I felt it was necessary. I am horrible at writing sex scenes. LOL.
> 
> In the next chapter, Shepard must deal with the fallout of Elliot's betrayal. I hope you will continue reading. 
> 
> Thank you for reading.


	13. Rage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard tries to deal with the aftermath of Elliot's betrayal. But Shepard's rage is a difficult thing to contain...

"Why? Why did Elliot do that?" Shepard asked, anxiously, as he made his way to the small gas station on the other side of the street. "He said he loved me. I don't understand."

 _'I don't know the reason, but I guarantee that he wasn't thinking of you. That guy's as selfish as they come. How many times have I told you? You just never fucking listen! Now look where we're at,'_ the voice scolded, causing Shepard to hit the side of his head several times.

"I know! I'm stupid! So, just shut up, and leave me alone!"

The young dark-haired woman behind the counter noticed how distressed the young blonde appeared and gave the boy a concerned look. "Are you alright?"

 _'Great! You're gonna get us locked away if you don't stop talking,'_ the voice warned.

Shepard furrowed his brow as he shook his head slowly. 

"Do you need help? I can call 911 if you want," the young woman offered, her hazel eyes full of concern.

"NO! I-I mean, that's okay. I'm fine, really," Shepard insisted as he looked around for a payphone. "Excuse me, but is there a payphone anywhere nearby?"

"Uh, no, not that I know of," the young woman replied.

The blue-eyed boy nodded as he searched his pockets for change. 'Dammit, I ain't got no money on me.'

 _'Elliot probably pocketed it,'_ the voice accused in a disgusted tone.

Shepard sighed. "C-can I use your phone?" The young blonde nervously asked the young woman.

"Sorry, but we're not allowed to let customers use the phone," the young woman answered with a sorrowful look.

"Oh… Thanks anyway," the blue-eyed boy smiled a halfhearted smile as he turned to exit the building.

The young woman watched as the young blonde limped his way out of the building. Sighing heavily, the young woman decided to follow the young blue-eyed boy.

"Hey, blue-eyes," the young woman called out, causing the boy to turn around. "You can use my cell if you want," the hazel-eyed woman offered with a smile as she held the phone out for him.

"You sure?" Shepard asked.

"Yeah, I'm sure," the young woman chuckled as she handed the phone to the young blonde, noticing how his hands shook as he took the offering.

"Thank you, I really appreciate it," the blue-eyed boy said as he slowly dialed the phone.

"Walker here," Ryan answered with a chuckle. 

"Ryan?" 

"Baby Boy, is that you?" Ryan asked curiously as the laughter faded from his voice. "You sound awful. Is everything okay?"

"No, not really," Shepard admitted truthfully. "Everything's fucked up, and I don't know what to do. Can you come, pick me up?"

"Yeah, of course," Ryan assured as he quickly put on his coat, "Just tell me where you, are and I'll be there as soon as I can."

"I'm at the gas station across from the old hotel, the one near the rink where we play," the young blonde explained.

"I think I know where," the grey-eyed boy assured. "Stay right there. Don't wander off."

"Okay," Shepard agreed. "Ryan, please don't tell Aaron."

"That's gonna be tricky, Baby Boy," Ryan informed him, "He's sitting right beside me, and I'm pretty sure he knows something's up."

"Ryan, please," the young blonde cried, "Please don't bring Aaron."

" _Sigh—_ I'll try, but you know I can't promise that. I'm leaving now. I'll be there soon, Baby Boy."

"O-okay," Shepard said softly. "Thanks, Ryan."

The young boy reluctantly ended the call and handed the phone back to the young hazel-eyed lady.

"Thanks again," Shepard said softly, his voice low and shaky.

"No problem, eh." The young woman smiled warmly. "It's pretty cold out here. You can come in and wait if you want."

Smiling at the offer, the young boy followed the lady back inside to await Ryan's arrival.

**~~~☆~~~**

"Ryan, what's wrong?" Aaron asked, his brow furrowed in worry. "What happened to my J?

"I don't know yet, Aaron," the grey-eyed teen answered truthfully. "I won't know until I get there."

"I'm going with you," Aaron announced as he quickly grabbed his coat.

"Don't you have to take Elise to her friend's house?" Ryan reminded his green-eyed friend. "Besides, J said for me to come alone."

"Elise can wait, and J will get over it," Aaron insisted. "If my J is hurt, I need to be there."

"Aaron, let me go alone, and once I know what's up, I'll call," Ryan offered. 

"No fucking way! I’m going with you, and that's final!" 

"That’s not happening, Aaron," the grey-eyed teen stated firmly, "J made me promise not to bring you, and I won’t break his trust. So, deal with it, Hayes."

"W-why? Why would my J say that?" Aaron asked with a look of hurt and confusion in his pale-green eyes.

"Because he doesn’t want to disappoint you, maybe? Or maybe because he doesn’t want you to overreact. You know how you get when it comes to J," Ryan explained.

" _Sigh—_ You win. I’ll hang back for now. You promise that you'll tell me everything?" Aaron asked, unsure about whether he should follow.

"I promise. I'll tell you everything," Ryan assured.

"I want to know everything, even if it's about that snake, Elliot. 'Cause if he hurt my J, he's a dead man," Aaron threatened as he clenched his fists in anger.

"I know," Ryan sighed as he made his way to the door. "I'll let you know. I gotta get going. Later, Aaron."

**~~~☆~~~**

**Thirty minutes later —**

"Hey, Baby Boy," Ryan called out as he entered the store. "You okay?"

The young blonde never said a word — he just hugged the older boy tightly, unable to look his grey-eyed friend in the eye.

"Let's get you out of here," Ryan whispered as he led the younger boy to the car.

"Thanks for coming," Shepard mumbled as he fastened his seat belt.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Ryan asked as he put the keys in the ignition.

The young blonde shook his head as he spoke, "Not yet. Can you take me somewhere? I really need a shower. "

"Sure, I think I know a place," Ryan replied as he began to drive.

Ten minutes later, they had arrived outside of the local gym. 

"You can take a shower in here," Ryan explained as he opened the car door.

"Don't you have to be a member?" The blue-eyed boy asked in confusion.

"Nah, they're pretty cool here," the older boy assured. "Follow me, and I'll show you where to go."

The young blonde nodded in agreement as he followed his grey-eyed friend.

"I have a pair of jeans and a t-shirt in my car," Ryan said as he scratched his chin lazily. "They're clean if you want to borrow them."

"Thanks. I appreciate it," Shepard replied, still refusing to look his older friend in the eye.

"Here we are," Ryan announced as they entered the locker room. "The towels are over there, and the showers are just down that corridor."

"Can you keep an eye out for me?" Shepard asked shyly. "I mean, you know, let me know if anyone's around."

Ryan's expression soured in understanding. "You got it, Baby Boy. I'll keep an eye out. Just give me a second to get those clothes for you. Will you be alright here alone? It'll only take a minute."

"Okay," the young blonde nodded as Ryan made his way back to the car.

Returning with the clothes in less than a minute, Ryan took his place at the entrance to the showers, acting as guard for the young blonde.

Shepard wasted no time in washing away the evidence of the night before — nearly scrubbing his skin was raw in the process. Once he was certain he could no longer feel the presence of the older blonde within him, the young blue-eyed blonde quickly dried himself before heading to the locker room.

"Feel better?" Ryan asked, his grey-eyes full of concern as he saw the boy's noticeable limp.

"Yeah," the young blonde nodded as he quickly got dressed.

"My clothes are a little big on you, but I think it works," the grey-eyed teen smiled as he picked up Shepard's discarded clothes. "What do you want to do with these?"

"Trash 'em," Shepard instructed as he motioned towards the nearest trash bin.

Ryan nodded as he placed the clothes in the nearby garbage bin. "You ready to go?"

"Yeah," the young boy said as he followed his friend out of the building and into the car.

"Are you hungry, Baby Boy?" Ryan asked as he started the car.

"Not really," Shepard admitted as he looked out the car window. "I'll take something to drink, though."

"You got it," the older boy said as he made his way to a local diner.

**~~~☆~~~**

"You sure you don't want something to eat," Ryan asked as they made their way to the corner booth.

"I'm sure," the young blonde replied as he stared out the window. 

"Okay, what do you want to drink? Pop, orange juice, water…." Ryan asked.

"Coffee," the young boy answered simply.

"Coffee?" Ryan asked curiously. "You drink coffee?"

Shepard nodded. "Uh-huh."

"Coffee it is," Ryan said in amusement. 

"Can I take your order?" An older lady with blonde hair and grey eyes asked with a smile.

"Uh, yeah," Ryan smiled as he spoke, "We'll have two coffees, and a BLT for me."

"Two coffees, and one BLT, got it. Do you want cream and sugar?" The waitress asked.

"Sure," Ryan answered with a smile. "You want cream and sugar, Baby Boy?"

"That's fine," Shepard mumbled as he continued to stare out the window.

"That'll be all. Thanks," the grey-eyed teen said as the waitress placed the order. 

The two sat in awkward silence for several minutes, until Ryan finally broke the silence.

"So… Are you gonna tell me what happened?"

The young blonde shrugged, "Are you sure you want to know?"

"Yeah, of course, I do," Ryan insisted.

"Here's your BLT and two coffees. One for you, and one for you," the blonde waitress smiled as she placed the order on the table. "I brought the cream, and the sugar is on the table. Would you like me to mix it for you?"

"That's not necessary, but thank you for offering," Ryan said warmly as the waitress nodded and returned to the counter.

"This BLT looks delicious," the grey-eyed teen said as he took a bite of his sandwich. "Are you sure you don't want a bite?"

"Elliot sold me," Shepard said quietly.

Ryan nearly choked on his food. " _Cough— Cough—_ Elliot did what, now?" The older boy asked, certain that he had misheard his young friend.

"He sold me for $250," the young blonde replied.

Ryan quietly put down his sandwich, no longer feeling hungry. "Elliot **sold** you? For $250?" The older boy repeated, feeling nauseous at the thought.

Shepard just nodded as he continued to stare out the window.

"Why the hell would he do something like that?" Ryan asked in disbelief.

"I don't know. Maybe he thought he was selling us both," the young blonde replied.

"Selling you both? What do you mean by that?" The grey-eyed teen asked curiously.

"It was a threesome, I guess," Shepard explained quietly, "So, maybe he was okay with selling himself, and thought I would be okay with it too. I don't know."

"Okay, Baby Boy, I think you need to tell me everything that happened," Ryan suggested as he placed his hand on top of the younger boy's. "And I mean **everything**. Don't leave anything out. You hear me, J?"

Shepard nodded as he began to tell his friend everything that had happened the night before.

"That asshole drugged you!?" Ryan yelled out loud, causing the younger boy to shush him.

"Shh… Keep it down, Ryan. I don't want the whole goddamn place to know," Shepard scolded as he shook his head at his grey-eyed friend. "It ain't like he slipped it to me. I agreed to take it. I was the one that fucked up — that's on me, not Elliot. I trusted him, and it bit me in the ass."

"That was still awfully fucking dirty of him, Baby Boy," Ryan said with a frown.

"Maybe, but that's on me. Besides, that ain't even why I feel sick," the young blonde admitted.

"Yeah, I think I understand," the older boy nodded, "Especially after what you went through with your old foster father. Elliot should have known better." 

"That ain't even the worst part," Shepard mumbled as he took a sip of his coffee.

"How can it be any worse?" Ryan asked, immediately regretting his words when he saw the sad look in the blonde's sapphire-blue eyes.

"Elliot let him cum in me," Shepard whispered in shame, barely loud enough for Ryan to hear. "He knew how I felt, and he ignored it."

"He knew that you wanted this Chris guy to wear a condom, and he did nothing to assure that he would?" Ryan asked, disgusted by Elliot's behaviour. "Why the hell would he do that to you?"

"I don't know…" Shepard admitted as the tears began to well. "I thought he loved me, but now I ain't so sure."

"Did you and Elliot practise safe sex?" Ryan asked curiously.

Shepard's blue eyes shifted to the side as he did his best to avoid the older boy's gaze.

"Really, J," the grey-eyed teen scolded. "You promised Aaron that you would. What changed?"

"He said he loved me, and he swore he was clean," the young blonde replied, bouncing his leg nervously. "I don't think he's dirty or nothin'."

Ryan sighed. "If that's the case, how can you be certain whether Chris actually came in you, or not? I mean, maybe he used a condom, and you were feeling the remnants of Elliot," Ryan suggested, hoping that his hunch was correct.

"No, I asked Elliot, and he told me the truth," Shepard admitted truthfully. "I don't know what to do. What if he gave me something? What do I do, Ryan?"

Ryan could see the lost look in the young blonde's sapphire eyes, and it broke his heart. "I can take you to the free clinic. You can get tested there," Ryan offered, "How does that sound?"

"I'll get in trouble! I'm underage, Ryan," the blue-eyed boy reminded the older boy.

"You won't get in trouble," Ryan assured the young blonde. "Just tell them that you were with your girlfriend, and the condom broke."

"They won't report it to the director?" Shepard asked nervously. "I don't want to cause trouble."

"Trust me, Baby Boy," the older boy assured, with a smile. "Everything will be fine. I promise."

"I feel kinda tired," the young blonde said as he rubbed his face slowly with both hands. "Do you think I could take a quick nap before we head to the clinic?"

"Are you sure that drug isn't affecting your body?" Ryan asked in concern.

"I don't think so. I'm just tired," Shepard insisted.

"If you're certain," the grey-eyed teen said as he called for the cheque. "I'll pay the bill, and then we'll go. You can sleep in the back-seat if that's okay with you."

"That's fine," the blue-eyed boy agreed with a yawn.

"Let's head out," Ryan said as he waited for the younger boy to join him. "I'll park near the clinic so you can sleep a bit."

"Sounds good," Shepard said, appreciatively, as they made their way to the car.

**~~~☆~~~**

Once Shepard had fallen asleep, Ryan decided it was time to call Aaron and let him know what had happened to his J.

"Elliot did what!?" Aaron screamed into the phone, nearly deafening his grey-eyed friend. "I'm going to kill that little bastard!"

"Calm down, Aaron," Ryan begged, knowing how protective he was over his J. "Baby Boy's alright. We're at the clinic."

"The clinic? What are you doing at the clinic? Is my J hurt?" Aaron asked in a panic.

"No, Aaron. It's nothing like that. It's just a precaution," Ryan explained.

"I'll be there as soon as I can. Tell my J I'm on my way," the green-eyed teen said as he started the engine of his car.

"Are you sure you don't want to wait until J tells you to come?" Ryan asked, hoping his friend would calm down before coming to them.

"I just want to check on him," Aaron insisted. "It's driving me crazy not being there for him."

"Alright, come on. But promise me that you won't overreact," Ryan pleaded, knowing he was asking the impossible of his green-eyed friend.

"I make no promises, Ryan," Aaron replied honestly before hanging up the phone.

"He hung up on me," Ryan said in disbelief as he walked to the car to check on the sleeping blonde. 

**~~~☆~~~**

It took Aaron a total of fifteen minutes to arrive at the parking lot. Eager to see his J, he exited his car and quickly made his way over to his best friend's car.

"Where is he, Ryan?" Aaron asked as he tried to peek inside his friend's car. "Where's my J?"

"Calm down, Aaron," Ryan insisted as he rubbed his best friend's shoulders. "He's asleep in the back-seat. No need to bother him, eh."

"I **need** to see him, Ryan! I need to see that he's okay," Aaron demanded in determination.

"Okay," Ryan agreed. "But you can't wake him. Deal?"

"Deal," the green-eyed teen agreed as he made his way to the back-seat window. A wave of relief washed over Aaron as he glanced at the young blonde sleeping soundly in the back-seat.

"See, he's fine," Ryan said as he continued to rub his best friend's back gently. "I told you not to worry, eh."

"I can't help it, Ryan," Aaron admitted. "He's my J, and I can't stand the thought of him being hurt."

"I know," Ryan said with a knowing smile.

"Shit, I think I woke him," Aaron said as he noticed the young blonde beginning to stir.

Shepard quickly wiped the sleep from his eyes before rolling down the car window. "Aaron? Is that you?"

"It's me, J," the green-eyed teen answered with a warm smile. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay," Shepard answered as he did his best to avoid those pale-green eyes.

"You feel like going in?" Ryan asked as he slowly opened the car door.

"I guess so," the blue-eyed boy replied as he slowly got out of the car.

Aaron cringed as he saw the young blonde's noticeable limp. "Are you sure you're okay, J?"

"I'm sure, Aaron," the younger boy reassured his green-eyed friend as he stretched his arms over his head.

"Any idea where I can find Elliot?" Aaron asked Ryan in a whisper.

"None," Ryan answered truthfully. "But if you find the son-of-a-bitch, punch him once for me, eh."

"Consider it done," Aaron promised as he made his way towards his J.

"Are you mad at me, Aaron?" Shepard whispered in shame. "I fucked up, even after you warned me."

"I'm not mad at you, J," Aaron assured the young blonde as he gently kissed the younger boy's forehead. "You could have called me, J. I would have come for you, you know that."

"I didn't want you to know," the young blonde explained, "I knew you would be mad, and I didn't want to start trouble for you."

"You’re not the one starting trouble, J," Aaron explained, "Elliot started the trouble when he took advantage of you."

"Aaron, please, let me handle Elliot," Shepard pleaded, "You have to promise me that you won't do anything. I can handle it. Really, I can."

"J, I can't make that promise," Aaron said honestly as he touched his forehead to Shepard's. "He hurt you, and if I see him, I can't promise that I won't hurt him. You understand, don't you, J?"

"Aaron, please. I'm begging you," the blue-eyed boy pleaded. "Just forget about Elliot. Let it go."

" _Sigh—_ I'll try, J," Aaron whispered as he took the younger boy's hand. 

"You ready to go in?" Ryan asked as he moved to open the clinic doors.

"I guess," the young blonde said as he took a deep breath to clear his head before walking towards the door.

"We're right here with you, J," Aaron promised as the three boys made their way inside.

**~~~☆~~~**

Once Shepard was tested, Aaron decided that he would be the one to drive his J home. "I'll drive you home, J," Aaron said as he took the younger boy by the hand.

"How did I know that would happen?" Ryan replied with a lighthearted chuckle.

"Sorry, Ryan," Aaron grinned, "I just want to spend a little more time with my J."

"I know, I get it," Ryan said as he hugged the blue-eyed boy tight. "Love you, Baby Boy. Be good!"

"Always, Walker," the young blonde replied as he hugged the grey-eyed boy back. "Love you too. Thanks again for coming to get me."

"Anytime, Baby Boy," Ryan grinned as he punched Aaron lightly on the arm. "See you tomorrow, Hayes."

"See you tomorrow," Aaron grinned as he waved goodbye to his best friend. "Ready to go, J?"

"Yep," Shepard replied as he got into the car, with Aaron following close behind.

**~~~☆~~~**

**Twenty minutes later —**

"Well, we're here," Aaron announced. "You need anything, J?"

"No, I'm good," the young blonde replied. "Thanks for bringing me home. I appreciate it, Aaron."

"No problem," Aaron said as he moved a stray blonde hair from the blue-eyed boy's brow. "You know you can always count on me, right, J?"

"I know," Shepard nodded in agreement. "I just hate causing you trouble."

Aaron laughed warmly at the young blonde. "Don't be silly. You aren't causing me any trouble. You're my J! I'm more troubled that you didn't call me first."

"I know," the young blonde whispered. "I would have, but I just couldn't stand the thought of you and Elliot fighting."

"You love him that much, J?" Aaron asked in a slightly disappointed tone.

"I don't know," Shepard answered truthfully, "I really don't. But I **know** I love you, Aaron, and the thought of the two of you fighting and hating each other over me — it hurts. Know what I mean?"

"I **think** I understand," the green-eyed teen answered with a small smile. "I love you, J, and I want you to be happy and safe. That's why I don't like Elliot. He hurts you. And I can't stand the thought of you being hurt. You understand, don't you, baby?"

Shepard's heart jumped at the word baby. 'Did Aaron just call me 'baby'?' Shepard thought anxiously.

 _'Yes. Yes, he did,'_ the voice assured him. _'But don't get your hopes up. I mean, Ryan calls you 'Baby Boy' for fuck's sake. It might not mean anything."_

" **J** , you okay?" Aaron asked in a concerned voice. "You spaced out on me for a second."

"I-I'm fine," Shepard answered quietly. "I should probably go inside."

"Yeah," Aaron said as he kissed the young blonde on the forehead. "Call me if you need me."

"I will," the blue-eyed boy promised as he got out of the car. "I love you, Aaron."

"Love you too, J," Aaron called back as he watched his J enter the building. "Be safe," Aaron whispered as he noticed a familiar face in the rear-view mirror. "Elliot!"

Aaron immediately got out of his car, slamming the door violently in his wake. "Yo, Elliot, we need to talk. **NOW**!" Aaron demanded as he stormed towards the dark-haired boy.

"Aaron-fucking-Hayes! Can my day get any worse?" The young brown-eyed boy asked as he rolled his eyes in annoyance. "What do you want, Hay—"

Elliot's words were cut short by a punch to the jaw.

"What the hell!?" Elliot whined as he rubbed his jaw slightly. "What did I do to deserve that?"

Aaron immediately punched the young brunette once more.

"Ow! Stop hitting me, you crazy fuck!" Elliot shouted as he continued to rub his freshly bruised jaw.

Aaron grabbed the boy and slammed him roughly against the brick wall. "You hurt my J! I fucking warned you to stay away, but you wouldn't listen!"

"What the fuck are you talking about!?" Elliot screamed, confused as to why Aaron was so angry with him. "I never hurt Shepard. He's mine — I fucking love him! Why the hell would I hurt him?"

"You fucking **sold** him, you goddamn cunt!" Aaron raged as he slammed the boy harder into the wall. 

"I sold us both! It wasn't a big deal. We were having sex with the guy anyway, so why not get paid for it? It ain't that big a deal! Shepard will understand as soon as I explain it to him."

"Did you get fucked last night? Did you take that guy's cock inside you? Did you take him into your mouth?" Aaron asked as he tightened his grip on the young brunette.

"What?" Elliot asked in confusion.

"Answer the goddamn question!" Aaron demanded.

"No, but what does that have to do with anything?"

"If you didn't get fucked then you can't say that you sold yourself now, can you? Admit it! You weren't a prostitute, you were a goddamn pimp, and you pimped out **my** J!"

"Fine! I admit it! I sold him, but I didn't think it was a big deal. I mean, he should have been used to it, right? So why not make a little money on it?" Elliot admitted, truthfully, as he struggled against the green-eyed teen's grip.

"You son-of-a-bitch!" Aaron growled as he kneed the boy hard between the legs. "He fucking trusted you! He fucking loved you!"

"I know! I love him too!" Elliot insisted as he tried to swallow down the pain.

" **Don't**! Don't you ever say that again!" Aaron warned. "You don't love him. You never fucking loved him! You just love what J can do for you. You make me sick," Aaron screamed as he spat on the wounded boy. "If you ever come near my J again, I'll fucking end you! That's a fucking promise!"

The brown-eyed boy watched in pain as the green-eyed teen finally drove away. "Fucking psycho!" Elliot grunted as he eventually made it to his feet, "Shepard's mine, and I ain't giving him up without a fight."

Elliot took a few minutes to catch his breath before finally entering the building.

**~~~☆~~~**

That night, Shepard did his best to avoid the brown-eyed boy, wanting nothing more than to forget that he had ever met the older boy. But things never went as planned when it came to the young blonde's life, and an altercation was inevitable.

"Hey, beautiful," Elliot whispered, trying to get the young blonde's attention. "We need to talk. I can explain everything. You just need to give me a chance to talk to you."

The blue-eyed teen continued to ignore the older boy, refusing to face the brown-eyed teen.

"Don't be like that, baby," Elliot begged. "I know you're pissed, but I can explain. If you'll just give me a chance. Seriously, stop acting like a little bitch and just talk to me."

Elliot's words made the blue-eyed teen's blood boil. _'Did that cunt really just call you a 'little bitch'? He really had the audacity to say that to you? Don't you dare sit there and take his shit!'_ The voice demanded as Shepard rolled over to face the obnoxious brunette.

"You fucking sold me, you cunt! There ain't a goddamn thing you can say to me that'll make that okay," Shepard replied in anger.

"I was gonna give you half!" 

"Fuck you! Keep your fucking money. I don't want it," the young blonde said as he shook his head in disgust.

"Fine! I'll never do it again," Elliot promised. "If I had known that you were gonna freak out like that, I never would have done it. So, let's put it behind us and start over. What do you say, beautiful?"

"You don't get it," Shepard laughed bitterly, "How am I supposed to trust you? I told you that Chris had to wear a condom. You fucking knew how I felt, and you just ignored it. You let a fucking stranger cum inside me, Elliot! Do you know how fucking sick I felt? You took away my voice. You could have honoured my wishes, but you didn't. So, how the hell am I supposed to believe anything you say now?"

"Oh, please! Get off your high-horse," Elliot said in an aggravated tone. "I didn't twist your fucking arm! You agreed to take that pill. I didn't force you! You never asked him to wear a condom — that's on you! So get the fuck over it! You fucking loved it, by the way. Just because you don't remember doesn't mean it didn't happen. You wanted it so fucking bad. You were practically begging for it…"

"Shut up, Elliot," Shepard growled, becoming angrier by the second. "Shut up, Elliot," the blue-eyed teen repeated, getting louder each time.

"Hell, you fucking took both of us inside you at the same time, you fucking slut! I'm surprised you can even walk. So, don't fucking play victim with me, Shepard. You're nothing but a goddamn slut!" Elliot screamed, until, finally, Shepard snapped— 

" **SHUT THE FUCK UP!** " Shepard screamed as he pounced on the brown-eyed teen, punching him mercilessly in the face with more rage than the young blonde had ever unleashed before. " **I FUCKING HATE YOU! I'LL KILL YOU!** "

 _'He brought this on himself, Shepard… I'll bet he learns to watch that smart mouth of his from now on,'_ the voice chuckled in amusement as Shepard continued to beat the boy mercilessly. _'You can't hear me, can you? Nope. You're lost, aren't you? Shit! I really hope you don't kill this stupid fuck.'_

One of the boys in a nearby bed ran frantically out of the room, trying to get help for the dark-haired boy.

"Shepard! Johnny Shepard, stop it, this instant," the director, Phillip, called out as he tried to separate the two boys.

 _'SHEPARD! Calm the fuck down! You hear me! Calm down right now!'_ The voice demanded, but Shepard was too far gone to listen.

"Fuck you!" The blue-eyed teen screamed as he continued his assault on Elliot. 

Phillip tried his best to pry the young blonde off of the bloodied older boy, but only received a busted lip for his trouble, "Dammit, get the nurse in here, and call 911."

The nurse arrived shortly, but there was nothing she could do. It took Phillip, as well as two other young men, to finally pry the raging blonde off of the broken brunette.

"You need to calm down," the nurse spoke softly, as she tried to coax Shepard into calming down.

"Go to hell! I'll fucking kill him! Let me go!" Shepard screamed as he kicked wildly at the defenceless nurse.

"The EMTs are here," the secretary informed them as she motioned them into the room.

"We have an injured boy on the bed to the right. And, as you can see, we have a violent situation with one of our boys," the nurse tried to explain. "The injured boy is stabilized. We really need you guys to sedate the violent one."

"Has he ever shown signs of violent behaviour before?" The EMT asked as he prepared to sedate the unruly blonde.

"Yes, he has," the nurse admitted truthfully. "Shepard's been sedated before, so this is nothing new for him."

The EMT nodded as he tried to calm the raging boy. "Shepard, can you hear me? We're here to help you, but you need to calm down, eh."

 _'Well, we're fucked.'_ The voice said in annoyance. _'Looney bin here we come! Oh, joy!'_

"Don't touch me!" The blue-eyed teen yelled as he continued to struggle against the director's hold.

"His heart is beating out of his chest," Phillip informed them as he continued to hold the boy tight.

"I need you to hold his arm out for me," the EMT instructed the nurse as she moved to hold his arm out. "This might sting a bit, Shepard, but once it's done, you're going to feel much better, eh."

After a few failed attempts, they finally managed to sedate the young blonde. 

"We'll take him to the ER and have him evaluated overnight," the EMT explained as they loaded the young boy onto the gurney.

"Are the bonds really necessary?" The director asked, feeling sorry for the unstable boy.

"I know it looks horrible, but it's for his own good. Trust me," the EMT assured as he motioned for his team to load the young boy into the ambulance.

"How did Elliot look? Was there a lot of damage?" Phillip asked, dreading the answer.

"It wasn't nearly as bad as it looked. He had a few teeth knocked out and maybe a fractured orbital bone, but the fracture doesn't appear to be too bad," the EMT explained.

"Thank god," the director said as he thanked the EMTs for their assistance before returning to his office.

"I already called his social worker," the secretary said as she handed the director Shepard's file.

"Did you tell him that Shepard was being hospitalized?" Phillip asked as he rubbed his bald head in nervous habit.

"Yes, and he said that he would meet them there."

"Does he know which hospital to go to?" The director asked as he wiped the sweat from his brow.

"Vancouver General is what I told him. Is that wrong?" The secretary asked, unsure as to whether she had been correct.

"That's where the EMTs said they were taking him," the director said with a sigh. "It has been a long night. I think we should call it quits and try to get some sleep, eh."

"Sounds good to me," the secretary smiled as she turned off the lamp on her desk. "I hope those kids are okay."

**~~~☆~~~**

**The next morning —**

The young blue-eyed boy opened his eyes slowly, panicking when he realized that he couldn't move his arms or legs. "What's going on? Why can't I move?"

 _'Calm down! They have restraints on you. You know, to keep you from hurting yourself or others whenever you lose your shit,'_ the voice explained. 

'I want them off!' 

_'Then calm the fuck down, and ask the doctor nicely when they come around.'_ The voice instructed.

"Shepard, I see you're finally awake," a social worker asked as he moved to stand beside the boy's bedside.

"Do I know you?" The blue-eyed boy asked curiously.

The young man laughed a warm laugh. "My name's Daniel, and I'll be your new social worker." 

Daniel was an attractive young man with brown hair, a well-trimmed goatee, and dark-grey eyes. 

"What happened to the other guy?" Shepard asked, cocking his brow as he spoke.

"He transferred to a different office," Daniel explained, "I was going to visit you today at the group home, but… Well, plans change."

"Uh-huh," Shepard said in disinterest. "Can you please get them to take these things off me?"

"Ah, yes. I imagine those straps are quite uncomfortable, no," Daniel chuckled as he continued to flip through the young blonde's file.

"Yeah, they fuckin' suck," the blue-eyed teen growled as he tested the bonds once more.

"Language," Daniel scolded as he continued to read the file.

"I ain't got no filter. Ain't that in the file?" Shepard asked as he furrowed his brow. 

"Yes, it is," Daniel said, nodding his head as he spoke. "But it never hurts to try, does it."

Shepard rolled his sapphire-blue eyes in annoyance. 

_'Great, he's the uptight kind. He is not going to like you, Johnny-boy,'_ the voice informed the blue-eyed teen.

'Can you please not call me that? I hate that fucking name.' Shepard scolded the voice as the doctor finally made their way into the room.

"Hello, I'm Doctor Michael Smith. How are you feeling today, young man?" The doctor asked as he smiled at the young boy.

Shepard, upon noticing the man's light-blue eyes and salt-and-pepper infused mousy-brown hair, just had to ask the older man, "You got a daughter named 'Elise'?"

 _'You don't really think…'_ The voice trailed off. _'Nah, can't be.'_

"Uh, I do, as a matter of fact," the man replied with a look of confusion on his face. "May I ask how you knew that?"

_'I'll be damned! What are the chances?'_

"She's dating my best friend," Shepard explained. "I met her a couple of times. She fucking hates me."

"Oh... You're friends with Aaron?" The man asked as he cocked his brow in disbelief.

"Yep," the young blonde nodded. "Can you please take these fucking things off me, please?"

"Language," Daniel scolded once again.

"Apologies, now can you pretty please take these off," Shepard pleaded in a mocking tone.

"If you promise to behave, I will remove the restraints, but only if you behave," Doctor Smith said as he awaited the boy's answer.

"I'll behave, now please take them off," the young boy agreed as the doctor removed the restraints. "Thank fuck!"

"Shepard!" Daniel snapped.

"Yeah, yeah, watch my language," Shepard repeated as he rolled his sapphire eyes.

"I am recommending a recovery home for young Johnny," Doctor Smith suggested as he handed Daniel the information he would need to make the arrangements.

"But I ain't got nothing to recover from," the young blonde replied in confusion.

The doctor laughed a little at the young blonde. "It's to work on your anger as well as therapy for other, more personal issues."

"What if I don't want to go?" Shepard asked, dreading the new placement.

"I'm afraid you don't have any choice in the matter," Daniel informed the young blonde.

"That just don't seem fair," the blue-eyed teen pouted.

"It's only for a few months," Doctor Smith assured the young boy. "It'll be over before you know it."

"Uh-huh," Shepard said in annoyance.

"Shepard, behave until I return. I'm going to get everything set up," Daniel said as he made his way out of the room.

"Yeah, fuck you too," Shepard mumbled as he watched the young social worker leave the room.

"I'm going to prescribe some medications for you to try as well," the doctor informed the young blonde. "They should help with the mood swings."

"I ain't taking it, so don't bother," the young blonde replied defiantly. "That shit makes me feel wrong."

"This isn't the same thing that you were given before. The side effects shouldn't be as severe with this regimen," Doctor Smith assured the young boy. "I urge you to try it. If you don't like it, then we can discuss other options."

"How long do I have to take it?" The blue-eyed teen asked, unsure about whether to take the medication or not.

"We'll try it for a month, and if you respond well, we'll discuss continuing the regimen," Doctor Smith suggested with a smile. "Are you still taking your anti-seizure medication?"

"Nope," the young blonde answered truthfully, "I ain't had no seizure in a few months. I don't need it no more."

"You are a very stubborn young man," the doctor chuckled. "I'm putting you back on your anti-seizure medication. You had a small one last night. You just didn't notice it."

"I didn't have no seizure," Shepard argued with the man, "I was fighting those damn straps."

"No, you had a seizure while you were sleeping," Doctor Smith corrected. "It was noted in your chart by the nurses on staff."

"The nurses are fuckin' stupid! I didn't have no seizure," the blue-eyed teen insisted.

"You aren't going to win this argument, young man," the doctor informed the young blonde. "You've already been given an injection. So, you may as well get used to the fact that you will have to take medicine."

"But I don't need it!" Shepard argued, growing ever more annoyed by Elise's dad.

"Humour me, and take the medication, at least for a month or so," Doctor Smith suggested, trying to bargain with the stubborn boy. 

"Fine! I'll take the damn medicine, but you can shove it after the month's up," Shepard insisted. 

"Fine. We have an agreement," Doctor Smith said as he reached his hand out towards the young boy.

Shepard hesitated but eventually shook the man's hand. "You ain't nothing like your daughter."

"Oh. Elise may look like me, but personality-wise, she takes after her mother," the older man smiled. 

"You live with two of them," Shepard asked, cocking his brow as he spoke. "My condolences."

Michael couldn't help but laugh at the young boy. "Thank you. Would you like me to tell Aaron that you're doing well?"

"You ain't gonna tell him I'm on medicine, are you?" The young blonde asked, unsure as to whether or not he wanted anyone around him to know.

"I'm not allowed to tell him anything personal about your medical condition or treatment regimen. All I can tell him is how you're doing," Doctor Smith assured the boy.

"That's fine. Thank you for offering to tell Aaron," The young blonde replied. "I appreciate it."

"You're quite welcome," Doctor Smith said as he made his way towards the door. "I'll be back to check on you this evening. Until then, get some rest."

"Yeah, yeah," Shepard said as he turned onto his side. "Fuck my life…"

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter, Shepard meets someone who will be a friend for life.
> 
> Thanks for reading. I hope you are enjoying the story so far.


	14. Twin Souls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron breaks an ankle, Shepard gets kissed, and meets a new friend.
> 
> **This chapter contains mild sexual content.**

"Johnny, I would like to introduce you to your roommate for the next few months," the housemaster said, quickly adjusting his black-rimmed glasses as he motioned for a young girl to come closer, "Johnny, this is Jaqueline Nought, but you may call her Jack. Jack, this is Johnny Shepard. He'll be your new roommate. So, do try to behave."

"Johnny, huh," the young girl said in a very uninterested tone.

"I think the two of you will find that you have much in common," the older man said as he patted Shepard on the back. "Jack, please, at least **try** to get along with Johnny. We really don't need a repeat of last time."

"Whatever," Jack grumbled as she rolled her eyes at the older man.

"Johnny, this will be your area of the room. You can go ahead and put your things away. Your first meeting will be with Doctor Talisen. A nurse will come and escort you to her office when it's time," the director explained as he turned his attention to Jack, "I trust you can assist Johnny if he has any questions."

" _Sigh—_ Yeah, that ain't really my job, now, is it," Jack replied as she stretched her arms over her head.

"Jack, could you at least make an effort to be a good roommate to Johnny," the director pleaded. "You don't have to be his best friend, but it wouldn't hurt for you to be civil."

"Yeah, yeah," the young girl said as she made her way back to her side of the room.

" _Sigh—_ Please, forgive Jack. She can be difficult — to say the least. I'll leave you to get settled. I do hope you'll like it here, Johnny. I'll check in on you later."

Shepard nodded as he began putting his things away. 'At least I don't have to share a closet with anyone.'

_'Trying to look on the bright side of things, huh, Shepard?'_ The voice teased. _'That girl's an odd one. Do you think she's a thief? The last thing we need is to have a thief for a roommate.'_

'God, I hope not,' Shepard sighed as he took a glance towards the young girl.

Jack was a pretty girl with long dark-brown hair and sparkling brown eyes. Her ears were full of piercings, and she had a small scar just above her lip.

"What the fuck are you looking at?" The dark-haired girl asked as she flipped through the pages of a random magazine.

"Sorry," the blue-eyed boy apologized as he sat down on his bed. "I didn't mean to stare."

Jack rolled her brown eyes as she spoke, "Whatever. So, what are you here for?"

"Anger management, I guess," Shepard answered truthfully.

"No shit," Jack grinned as she set the magazine aside. "Welcome to the club. So, who's ass did you beat?"

"Just a guy," the young blonde answered, unwilling to reveal too much about himself. 

"Did you kill him?" The young girl asked curiously.

"Uh, no," Shepard replied as he cocked his brow. "At least, I don't think I did."

"Huh. Did you **want** to kill him?" Jack asked with a wicked grin.

"Well, yeah," the blue-eyed boy answered nervously. "At the time, I did. But now, I'm kinda glad I didn't."

"Pussy," Jack said as she stretched her arms over her head.

Shepard just shook his head at the young girl, unsure of what to make of her. "Did you kill someone?"

"No, but I would have. The son-of-a-bitch got lucky," Jack explained, "Someone called the cops, and they got there before I could finish him off."

"What did the guy do to piss you off?" Shepard asked curiously.

"He fucking tortured and used me," the dark-haired girl said as she showed Shepard the burn scars on her neck and arms. 

"He deserved to die," the young blonde whispered softly. "I'm sorry that happened to you."

Jack's eyes went wide as she blushed at the young boy's comment. "What are you sorry for? You didn't cause it."

Shepard just shrugged as a nurse appeared in the doorway, requesting that the young boy follow her to his session.

Once the young blonde was out of sight, Jack quickly began searching through his things.

"Nothing. This guy has absolutely **nothing** ," Jack complained as she continued to search, finding only medals and an old worn hockey puck. "He's a hockey player, huh. I guess that explains his size."

"Jaqueline, what do you think you are doing?" The young nurse asked with a disappointed look on his face.

"Relax, I ain't stealing," Jack answered honestly. "I was just trying to see what kind of guy he was. You can tell a lot about people by looking through their shit."

"Or, maybe, you could just **talk** to the boy, you know, get to know him," the young nurse suggested. "You have a session with Doctor Bennett. I'm here to escort you."

"Ugh, this is such a waste of time," Jack said as she closed the nightstand drawer. "I'm so over these fucking sessions."

"You know the rules, Jack," the nurse reminded the young girl as he led her to her appointment.

**~~~☆~~~**

Shepard was exhausted and decided to go to bed early. He was in the middle of taking his shirt off when Jack returned to the room.

"Hot damn! You are fucking built," Jack teased as she yanked the shirt from his hands.

"Uh-huh," the young blonde said, slightly amused by the playful brunette. "Can I please have my shirt back?"

"Nah. I think I'll keep it," Jack announced as she took off her own shirt — unashamed by her nudity, tossing it at the young blonde. "It looks comfy, and red is my favourite colour," the young brunette grinned as she pulled the stolen shirt over her head.

Shepard just grinned as he shook his head in amusement. "I hope you don't expect me to wear yours. I really don't think it'll fit."

"Nah, I think you should probably just go without," Jack teased as she pulled off her jeans and climbed into her bed.

Shepard just chuckled as he rolled up the young girl's shirt and sat it on her nightstand. "You can have this back," the blue-eyed boy said as he pulled his own jeans off and got into bed. 

"You can sleep naked if you want," Jack suggested.

"I don't think that's allowed, but thanks for the suggestion," Shepard chuckled as he turned the lamp off.

"You're no fun," Jack pouted as she closed her eyes to sleep.

**~~~☆~~~**

Two weeks passed, and Jack continued to flirt mercilessly with the young blonde — seemingly unaware of his lack of interest.

"Jack, can you please go tell your roommate that he has a call?" The young secretary asked as she held the phone in her hand. "Tell him it's from someone named Ryan."

"Yeah, yeah," Jack said as she made her way towards their shared room. 

"Yo, Johnny," the young girl called out as she opened the door, "You got a phone call."

Shepard's eyes lit up as he sprang up from the bed. "Is it Aaron?"

"Uh, no. It's some guy named Ryan," Jack answered truthfully.

"Ryan? That's weird. Aaron was supposed to call me after the game," the blue-eyed boy said as he made his way down the hall with Jack following closely behind.

"You have five minutes," the secretary instructed as she reached the phone to the blue-eyed boy.

"Thanks," Shepard nodded as he gratefully took the phone from her. "Ryan, what's up? Did you guys win?"

"Hey, Baby Boy," Ryan greeted. "Yeah, we won, but, uh, I have to tell you something, and I don't want you to freak out or get upset, okay. Promise me that you'll stay calm."

"Ryan, what's going on? Did something happen?" Shepard asked in a panic, his heart rate rising in fear. "Is it Aaron? Did something happen to Aaron?"

"Calm down, Baby Boy," Ryan demanded, "Calm down, or I won't be able to talk to you, eh."

Shepard took a few deep breaths, "I'm okay, Ryan. Now, please, tell me what happened."

"Okay. During the game last night, right at the end, Aaron got hit pretty hard, and he broke his ankle," Ryan explained. "He's okay, Baby Boy, so don't get upset, okay."

"If he's okay, then why didn't **he** call me," the young blonde asked anxiously, "Why are you the one telling me and not Aaron?"

"Because he can't," Ryan replied honestly.

"Whattaya mean, he **can't** ," Shepard asked in a worried voice. "Why?"

"Because he's in surgery," the grey-eyed teen explained.

" **Surgery**!" The young blonde exclaimed.

"Calm down, Baby Boy," Ryan pleaded. "He had to have surgery to repair his ankle. The break is pretty bad, but Aaron's fine. Do you understand me, J? He's **fine**. He's going to be just fine. He's the one that told me to call you."

Tears were already falling silently from the young blonde's sapphire eyes. "Where is he? What hospital is he in?"

"St. Paul's," the grey-eyed boy replied. "If you want to go see him, just let me know, and we'll go together, eh."

"I'll try to get a pass, but they're real strict here. I fucked up, and now I can't be there when Aaron needs me," Shepard said as he rubbed his face, "Tell Aaron that I'll try to visit as soon as I can."

"I'll tell him, Baby Boy," Ryan assured his young friend. "If you get permission, just give me a call, and I'll be there. I love you, Baby Boy. Aaron loves you too."

"Love you too, Walker. Tell Aaron that I love him."

"Will do, Baby Boy," Ryan promised.

"I gotta go," Shepard said. "I'll see you soon, Ryan. Bye."

"Later, Baby Boy."

Jack watched her roommate closely as he handed the phone back to the secretary. "Thanks."

Jack followed the young blonde down the hall, jumping as Shepard suddenly punched the wall in frustration.

"Hey, calm down," the young brunette warned, "If they see you doing that, you can kiss your day-pass goodbye. You want to see your friend, don't you?"

Shepard nodded as he took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down. "Do you really think they'll let me go see him?"

"Maybe. Especially since it's an emergency," Jack answered. "But if you do, your friend won't be the one taking you."

"What?" Shepard asked in confusion.

"They'll have someone accompany you," Jack explained, "You know, so you won't be able to run away or anything."

"I thought we could get permission to leave for a certain number of hours. That's what they told me."

"Yeah, but you have to have been here for at least thirty days," Jack informed the young blonde, "You've only been here for two weeks."

"Where do I go to arrange a pass?" Shepard asked, determined to see his wounded friend.

"You need to ask the director. Even then, you're gonna need a doctor to agree," the young girl explained. "I'll go with you. Come on."

Shepard was surprised as the young brunette grabbed his arm and practically dragged him to the director's office. 

"Yo, he needs someone to take him to see his friend," Jack announced as she burst through the director's office door.

"You could have knocked, Jack," the director scolded as he took his glasses off.

"Why? There wasn't anybody in here," Jack shrugged.

The director sighed. "Johnny, what is it that you need, exactly?"

"I need someone to take me to St. Paul's Hospital. My friend had to have emergency surgery, and I would like to see him," Shepard explained.

"I see," the director said as he put his glasses back on. "If you can get both of your doctors to give you permission, I will have someone take you as soon as possible."

"I'm going with him," Jack announced, causing Shepard to cock his brow in confusion.

"Johnny, do you want Jack to accompany you?" The director asked.

"Y-yes," the blue-eyed boy answered, unsure as to what the young brunette was thinking.

"That's fine. Jack, you also need permission," the director informed the young girl. "Once you get permission, return to my office, and I'll arrange everything."

"Let's go," the brown-eyed girl said as she dragged the young boy out of the office.

"Let's see…" Jack said as she pulled the young blonde further down the hall. "We both have Doctor Talisen, so that shouldn't be a problem. But, who's your other doctor?"

"Doctor Bennett," Shepard answered simply.

Jack froze where she stood, knowing that Doctor Bennett was a sexual abuse specialist. "Doctor Bennett?"

"Yeah," the blue-eyed boy shrugged.

"Shit," Jack said, surprised by the revelation that Shepard, too, had been abused. "She's mine too. I guess we'll just go ask together."

After successfully getting the much-needed permission, the two roommates returned to the director's office.

"I've talked it over with one of the nurses, and he's agreed to accompany you both," the director announced. "The visit will have to be a short one, no longer than twenty minutes — not counting travel, of course."

"When can we go?" The young blonde asked, eager to see his green-eyed friend.

"Tomorrow," the director said. "You will be informed when it's time to go."

"Thank you," the blue-eyed boy said as he turned to leave the room.

"You're welcome, Johnny," the director smiled before turning his attention back towards the young girl, "Behave yourself, Jack."

"Yeah, yeah," the young brunette snorted as she followed her roommate out of the office.

"Why do you want to go with me?" Shepard asked curiously.

"I just want to. You got a problem with that?" Jack asked as she continued to walk side-by-side with the young blonde.

"No, not really," the young blonde replied softly.

"Let's go find something fun to do," Jack suggested.

"In this place? Good fuckin' luck," Shepard chuckled as he followed the young brunette further down the hall.

**~~~☆~~~**

**The next day —**

"So, this guy that you're going to see," Jack asked as she stretched her arms over her head, "What is he to you? Is he your cousin or what?"

Shepard laughed a little at the comment. "No, nothing like that. He's just my friend. My best friend, actually." 

The brunette nodded as she spoke, "So, he's not family, but he's **like** family. I think I understand."

"I guess. I mean, I ain't never had a family, so I don't really have anything to compare it to," the young blonde admitted, "But I reckon Aaron and Ryan are the closest I'll ever get."

"So, they're like your brothers?" The brown-eyed girl asked curiously.

"Uh, no. I don't really think of them like that," Shepard replied honestly. "I can't explain it. We're close, yeah, but I could never see them as brothers."

"Why not?" Jack asked in confusion. 

"I-I just can't," the young blonde answered quietly, unable to meet Jack's gaze.

_'Why don't you just tell her that you aren't supposed to have wet dreams about your brothers? The look on her face would be priceless! Come on, do it for me!'_ The voice pleaded in amusement.

"I'm not telling her that," Shepard said aloud as he shook his head in amusement at the voice.

"You're not going to tell me what?" Jack asked as she cocked her brow at the young blonde. "You already fucked up by thinking aloud, so you might as well tell me."

"I wasn't thinking out loud," the young blonde corrected. "I was… never mind what I was doing. It's not important."

"Whatever, now tell me," the young girl insisted. "What is it that you were gonna say?"

"I might tell you later," Shepard said as he looked out the car window. "Do you have any family, Jack?"

"Nah, not that I know of," the brown-eyed girl replied, "My mom might be around, but I'm not sure. She was a drug addict. I was taken away from her when I was eight, or so — to tell you the truth, the system ain't no better. Hell, I don't think it hurt as much being with my mom. At least she tried to keep the trash away from me. It seems like the system just hands me over to them, know what I mean?"

"I really do," Shepard nodded, sadly, as he continued to look out the car window.

"How long have you been in the system?" 

"All my life," the blue-eyed boy admitted. 

"Shit, that fuckin' sucks. Why weren't you adopted? I mean, people love babies, right?" Jack asked, genuinely interested in the young boy.

"Yeah, that thing about every baby getting adopted… It's bullshit," Shepard laughed bitterly. "I never responded well to people, so nobody wanted me. Apparently, something's wrong with me. Maybe I'm broken inside. I don't know. Don't really care anymore. I do alright on my own."

"Fuck yeah," Jack agreed. "Who needs 'em? Kids like us, we're tough. We know how to get by."

Shepard smiled genuinely at the young brunette. "How old are you? I don't think you ever told me."

"I'm thirteen, not that it's anyone's business," the young brown-eyed girl snorted. "My soul's a lot older, though. I look older too. So most people think I'm sixteen — comes in real handy when I want some ink."

"You got tattoos?" Shepard asked in amusement.

"Yep, but I only got a few," Jack replied with a disappointed look, "I want more, but it takes a while to save up the cash. Anyway, how old are you? I'm thinking 'sixteen'?"

The blue-eyed boy chuckled as he shook his head at the young girl, "No, not sixteen. I'm thirteen, but I'll be fourteen in a few months."

Jack's eyes went wide in shock. "You're fucking with me!? There's no goddamn way you're only thirteen!"

"I'm not fucking with you," Shepard assured with a grin. "I'm thirteen. I'll be fourteen on April the 11th."

"I don't believe you," the young girl said as she lightly punched him in the arm.

"That's fine, but I swear to you, I'm not lying," the young blonde promised as the car came to a stop.

"We must be here," Jack assumed as she opened the car door.

"Jack, you're supposed to wait until I open the door for you," the nurse sighed as he opened the other door for Shepard.

"I'll wait in the waiting room while you go talk to your friend," Jack said as they made their way into the hospital. 

"Thanks," Shepard said as he made his way towards the elevator.

"I trust you have the room number," the nurse assumed.

"Yeah, I called and got it from my friend," the young blonde replied. "Room 405."

"I'll let you know when it's time to leave," Jack offered as she took a seat beside their chaperon.

"Appreciated," Shepard said as he entered the elevator and made his way to his friend's room.

**~~~☆~~~**

When Shepard arrived, he was relieved to find his green-eyed friend alone in his room. The young boy had dreaded the possibility of having to deal with Aaron's mother.

"Hey, Aaron," Shepard whispered as he made his way to his friend's bedside. "Are you awake?"

The green-eyed boy's eyes lit up at the sound of his J's voice as he turned his head to look at the beautiful blue-eyed boy. "There's my J! I've been waiting for you to visit me."

Shepard hugged his friend gently, afraid of aggravating the older boy's injury. "What the hell happened, Aaron? Is your ankle okay?"

"Yeah, it sucks," Aaron chuckled as he explained, "Kinda makes me glad that you didn't get to come to the game. So, it was the final two minutes of the game, and I had just made a goal, the game-winning goal, I might add — when I was hit hard from behind. He clipped me pretty good, a dirty hit for sure. But when I landed, I landed on my ankle. It was an awkward landing, and all my weight landed on it at a weird angle. It might not have been so bad, but the guy ended up falling on me as well. I knew it was fucked when I heard the snap."

"Who hit you," Shepard asked as he worked his jaw in anger.

Aaron, noticing the young blonde's rising anger, gently took the younger boy's hand in his and began rubbing it with his thumb. "It doesn't matter, J. He was suspended and everything. So, it's okay now. You don't have to worry, yeah. I'm fine, really."

"But he hurt you, Aaron," the young blonde insisted.

"It was just rough hockey, J. He didn't mean to hurt me like that," Aaron explained as he continued to rub Shepard's hand. "I'm okay, and that's all that matters, eh?"

"Well, yeah," the young boy agreed, "I just can't stand the thought of you getting hurt."

"I know," Aaron smiled as he pulled the younger boy in close enough to kiss his forehead. "And I love that about you, yeah."

"How bad is it?" The younger boy asked, his brow furrowed in concern.

"Now, don't get upset, J, but I'm done with hockey," Aaron explained softly, hoping the younger boy wouldn't be too upset by the news. "I can't play professionally anymore."

Shepard's sapphire eyes filled with tears as he choked back a sob. "B-but you were already being scouted to play in the NHL. It's your dream, Aaron."

"Shh… I know, I know," Aaron whispered as he tried to calm his J, "You don't have to cry, baby. I've already cried enough for both of us, yeah. It is what it is, J. We can't change it now. It just wasn't meant to be, eh."

"But you won't ever be able to play again," the young blonde said, his heart hurting for his beloved friend.

"Hey, I never said that," Aaron chuckled as he wiped the tears from Shepard's sad blue eyes. "I can still play. I just can't get overly physical. Professional hockey's out, but I can still play a friendly game every now and then."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, so no more tears," Aaron ordered as he kissed the top of Shepard's hand.

"Okay… How bad was the surgery?" Shepard asked anxiously.

"It's gonna leave a nasty scar, but the doctor assured me that I should be able to walk with no trouble," the green-eyed boy explained. "I just have to do some therapy, and I'll be good to go."

"That's good," Shepard smiled as he took a seat next to his friend's bedside.

"Aaron, what would you like Mom–" Anna's words died in her throat when she saw the young blue-eyed boy sitting by her son's side. "Well, isn't this a surprise."

"J came to see me, Mom," Aaron said with a happy grin.

"I see," the green-eyed lady replied curtly. "You've certainly grown since we saw each other last."

"Yes, ma'am," Shepard replied quietly, retreating inside himself in defence.

"Where are you staying now? I am assuming that you are still in the system," Anna asked in a condescending manner.

"I'm at a group home, ma'am," the blue-eyed boy answered as he began bouncing his knee nervously.

"I was told that you were in a rehabilitation facility," the green-eyed lady replied, causing Shepard's eyes to go wide. 

'How did she know that? Did Aaron tell her?' Shepard wondered.

_'I'll bet that bitch Elise told her! She probably looks through daddy's files when he ain't home,'_ the voice suspected.

"Who told you that, Mom," Aaron asked, obviously irritated by his mother's knowledge of his J's situation.

"Does it matter? It's true, is it not?"

"I don't think it's any—" Aaron's words were cut short by the young blonde.

"It's true, ma'am," Shepard admitted, lowering his head in shame.

"May I ask what it was that you were addicted to?" Anna asked in a demanding tone.

"Mom!"

"It's okay, Aaron," the blue-eyed boy assured as he quietly answered her question. "Nothing. I ain't there for addiction. I'm there because of fighting."

"Well, fighting is just as bad," the green-eyed lady replied. "I do hope you learn to keep it under control in the future. Aaron is very tired. I think it would be best if you left. Don't you?"

"Mom! What the hell!?" Aaron yelled as he sat up in bed with a start.

"It's okay, Aaron," Shepard whispered as he slowly rose to his feet. "I need to go anyway. I hope you feel better. I really do."

Aaron grabbed Shepard's hand and pulled him down to his level, kissing him softly on the lips, causing Shepard's eyes to go wide, and his mother to gasp in shock. "Thanks for coming to see me, J. I love you, yeah," Aaron whispered as he touched his forehead to his J's. "You'll call me whenever you can, won't you, J?"

"Yeah, I promise," the blue-eyed boy whispered with a sweet smile that melted Aaron's heart. "Bye, Aaron. Love you too."

'Aaron kissed me! I could die right now, and I would die happy!' Shepard thought to himself.

_'It was a chaste kiss. You know, like a_ **_friendly_ ** _kiss. I don't think you should read too much into it,'_ the voice warned.

'I don't care if it was just friendly. It made me happy, so fuck you and shut up!'

_' **Sigh—** Fine, you win. I'll shut the fuck up,' _the voice relented.

As soon as Shepard made it to where Anna stood, he was grabbed harshly by the arm.

"Stay away from my son," Anna demanded in a low voice, careful not to let her son overhear her words. 

"I can't do that," the young blonde whispered back. "I'm sorry."

The green-eyed lady reluctantly let go of the young boy's arm and made her way over to her son's bedside.

"Later, J," Aaron called out with a wink.

"Later, Aaron," Shepard replied back with a smile and a mock salute.

Once out in the hall, Shepard immediately ran into Jack.

"It's time to go. You ready?" The young girl asked as she stretched her arms out.

"Yep," Shepard grinned, still giddy from the small chaste kiss that Aaron had given him.

"You seem unusually happy," Jack observed as she nudged him in the shoulder. "Your friend's gonna be okay, huh?"

"Yep. He's gonna be just fine," the young blonde replied as he put his arm around the surprised young brunette.

"You are so goddamn weird," Jack chuckled as she put an arm around his narrow waist. "Let's get going, crazy boy."

"Hell, yes," Shepard laughed as they made their way to the lobby.

**~~~☆~~~**

**Three weeks later —**

In the weeks since visiting Aaron, Shepard and Jack had managed to become even closer. They had shared their darkest stories with one another and found that they had indeed lived a similar life. Shepard was amazed by the young girl's strength, a strength that was evident from the many scars littering her tiny body. The girl had been through hell and still managed to hold her head up in any given situation. And Shepard admired the hell out of her.

"So, Shepard," Jack asked as she popped her gum, "When are you gonna show me your dick?"

Shepard nearly choked on his water at his friend's words. "What?"

The young brunette rolled her eyes in annoyance. "Don't play innocent! I wanna see if you're packing."

"Why?" Shepard asked simply.

"Seriously? Because I'm curious," Jack admitted honestly. "I just wanna see. Are you shy? Or are you afraid that I'll laugh or something?"

Shepard laughed a little at her words. "I ain't afraid of laughter. I don't give a fuck about that. Do you seriously want to look at my junk?"

"Fuck yes, I do," Jack admitted as she pulled Shepard up from his bed. "Go ahead. Show me."

"Can't this wait until tonight?" The young blonde asked with a chuckle as the young girl began to unbuckle his belt. "I mean, I have therapy in a few minutes, and if we get caught, they're gonna separate us for sure."

Jack immediately halted her movements. "Shit, you got a point. Fine, tonight. But no puss-ing out of it!"

"I'm not a pussy, Jack. You don't gotta worry about that," Shepard assured her as the door opened slowly behind them.

"Shepard, you have a session to get to," the nurse announced as he led him from the room. "You'll have to pick up your medication at the front desk tonight. The night nurse isn't going to be able to work tonight."

The young blonde nodded as he made his way into the office.

"Don't forget your medication, Shepard," the nurse reminded him once more before shutting the door behind him.

**~~~☆~~~**

**Later that night —**

Shepard yawned as he quickly removed his shirt, throwing it into the hamper by the closet door before discarding his jeans.

"Time to show me what you got," Jack announced, making Shepard jump a little.

"Jesus, Jack, you could have let me know you were here, yeah," Shepard scolded as the young brunette smirked.

"I just did, dumbass," Jack teased as she motioned for the young blonde to come closer.

"Are you sure you want to see? I mean, what's the point, really?" Shepard asked as he walked closer to his crazy friend.

"Are you really trying to puss out on me?" Jack whined as she pulled him closer by the waist. 

"I ain't trying to get out of it," the young blonde laughed. "I just want to know your logic."

"Curiosity don't need logic, dumbass," the brown-eyed girl said as she pulled him even closer. "Damn, you ain't got an ounce of fat on you, do you?" Jack replied as she gently touched his abdomen, loving the way his muscles jumped under her fingers. "You must work your fucking ass off."

"Not really," Shepard admitted. "I mean, I work out, but it's mostly genetic. I don't really try that hard."

"Yeah, I'm like that. I can eat or drink whatever the fuck I want, and I always look good," the young brunette boasted as she gripped the top of the blue-eyed boy's underwear and tugged lightly. "You ready to show me?"

Shepard chuckled lightly. "It's all you — do it whenever you're ready."

Jack swallowed hard as she gently tugged the underwear down, letting them drop to the floor — her eyes growing wide at the sight of Shepard's naked body. "There ain't no goddamn way you're only thirteen!"

Shepard broke out laughing. "I'll be fourteen in a month."

"There just ain't no fucking way! You're lying! You have to be at least sixteen!" The brown-eyed girl argued.

"I swear, I'm just thirteen," the blue-eyed boy assured. "You can look at my file. I used to be super tiny, but I started growing like a motherfucker when I hit nine years old."

"Seriously? When the fuck did you start puberty? Nine years old or something?" Jack asked in disbelief.

" **No**! Not nine. I was like eleven or something," Shepard admitted. 

"How big is it when you… you know?" Jack asked curiously.

"I don't know. I ain't never measured it. Why the hell would I?" The young blonde replied. "Besides, I'm still growing."

Jack cocked her head to the side curiously as she suddenly took 'little' Shepard in-hand.

"Jack, what the fuck!?" Shepard yelled as he pulled away from the crazy brunette.

"Oh, relax," Jack said as she rolled her bright brown eyes. "I'm just trying to see how big it gets."

"If you wanna know that bad, I can do it myself," Shepard informed her, face red in embarrassment.

"Nah, I can do it. I like the feel of it," Jack admitted as she continued to stroke the blonde.

"Jack, seriously," Shepard begged, "Let me do it. I don't wanna — you know…"

"I don't mind," Jack shrugged as she continued her ministrations, "I'm just a friend helping a friend. Maybe you can help me out later."

"Y-yeah, I doubt I could help you," Shepard admitted as he tried his best to think of anything other than the feeling of the hand currently stroking him.

"Sure, you can," the young girl insisted. "You got fingers, don't ya?"

"Oh, god," Shepard said as the anxiety welled in him at the thought. "I really don't think you understand, Jack."

"What's to understand?" Jack asked as she stopped briefly to examine her work. "Nice! You are gonna be fucking huge by the time you're sixteen!"

"Yeah, maybe, but I doubt it," the blue-eyed boy replied as he placed a shaky hand over the hand currently stroking him. "It doesn't matter anyway. Jack, listen to me, I don't think I can help you out."

"Why not? Like I said, you have fingers, and they're nice and long too," Jack teased as she continued to stroke the blue-eyed blonde. "Perfect for what I need 'em for."

"Goddammit, Jack! You really don't understand. Please stop — I'm getting close, please," Shepard pleaded as the young girl continued on, grinning wickedly at her blonde friend.

"I think I'd like to watch you cum. I'll bet your face is priceless," Jack teased as she gripped him tighter.

"Goddammit, Jack, I'm gay!" Shepard yelled as Jack loosened her grip on him.

"See, that wasn't so hard, now was it," Jack chuckled as she eased the pressure on 'little Shepard', but never let go.

"What?" Shepard asked in confusion. 

"I knew you were gay," the brown-eyed girl admitted with a warm smile. "I've known for a while. You could have told me sooner, you ass."

"I wasn't sure how you'd react. I didn't want to lose my friend," Shepard admitted quietly.

"Dumbass, you ain't gonna lose me. I'm bi, but I prefer guys," Jack explained. "It doesn't bother me, Shepard."

"I'm glad," the young blonde smiled. "You're the best friend I've had in a long time."

"Same," Jack smiled.

"Jack, you can let go of my cock now," Shepard said with a chuckle.

"Oh, right," the young girl laughed as she stroked him a few more times. "Are you sure you don't want me to finish you off? I seriously don't mind."

"That's okay. I'd feel guilty about not helping you out. Know what I mean," Shepard said with a grin.

"You know, you **could** help me out, if you weren't such a pussy," Jack teased with a chuckle as she let him fall from her hand.

"If I was 100% certain things wouldn't get weird between us — I would," Shepard replied honestly, "But I'm not willing to risk it. Not with you, Jack — you're too important to me."

"Has anybody ever told you, 'you worry too much'? You're important to me too. That's why I want it." Jack explained as she reached out and took him into her hand once more. "Nothing's gonna be weird between us. We aren't like other people, Shepard. All this will do is cement our friendship. I ain't looking for a boyfriend, and you sure as hell ain't looking for a girlfriend. I can **guarantee** that we won't regret it. So, what do you say? Wanna have some fun or not?"

"If you're really sure," the blue-eyed boy said as he took a lock of her hair into his hand. 

"I'm sure, just tell me how you like to be touched," Jack insisted as she continued to stroke her friend.

"You're doing fine, Jack," the young blonde grinned, "Just keep doing what you're doing."

"I wanna hear you moan," the young brunette admitted as she stroked him harder.

"I-I don't really moan much," Shepard admitted. "Especially when I masturbate. I guess I don't wanna get caught or something."

"Oh, you moan," Jack grinned as she spoke, "I saw you bite your pillow the other night, and you were moaning plenty. You might not have been loud, but you were definitely moaning."

"You saw me, huh? Of course, you did," Shepard chuckled as he rubbed his face in amusement, "I was moaning because I was stimulating myself in other ways."

"I can do that too," the brown-eyed girl chuckled as she stuck two of her fingers into her mouth.

"Are you serious? You don't have to do that," Shepard said as she pulled him closer to her.

"Relax, if you're willing to stick your fingers in me, then the least I can do is stick mine in you," Jack said as she gently worked her finger inside of the blue-eyed blonde.

Shepard tensed a little at the sudden intrusion before finally relaxing into her touch. "Mmm… Feels good," Shepard admitted as the brown-eyed girl continued to stroke him.

"Yeah. You like that?" Jack grinned, feeling empowered by the act.

"Fuck yes," the blue-eyed boy whimpered as Jack found the spot within him that made him see stars. " **Fuck!** Right there!"

"Finally! Now, moan for me Shepard," Jack commanded as she began stroking him faster. 

As if obeying her command, Shepard began moaning loudly, pushing back against his friend's fingers — trying desperately to fuck himself to orgasm. "Harder, Jack. Please…" Shepard whined as Jack did just as he asked. "I-I'm so close…"

"Yeah," Jack grinned, wickedly, as she upped her assault on her young friend's prostate. "You wanna cum for me, Shepard? Show me how good it feels…"

"Fuck yes," Shepard whined as his pleasure began to build, "I'm gonna cum, Jack — Y-you can stop now — I-I'll finish myself off."

"Nope, that's not the deal, Shepard," Jack chuckled as she stroked him as fast and hard as she could. "You gotta cum for me, Shepard. Cum for me. I wanna see your face!"

It only took a few more strokes until Jack had Shepard cumming hard. Jack watched in fascination as the young blonde's body spasmed in ecstasy, enjoying how his abdominal muscles danced with every contraction. 

"Goddamn, Shepard," Jack said as she gently milked the blue-eyed boy dry, "You came like a motherfucker. You came a lot too. I'm impressed."

Shepard couldn't help but laugh as he looked at his brown-eyed friend. "Jack, y-you've got my cum in your hair," the young blonde chuckled as he came down from his high.

"Shit!" Jack exclaimed as she tried to clean herself up. "Don't just sit there — help me get it out."

Shepard chuckled as he reached out and wiped his essence from the young brunette's hair. "I think I got it. Sorry about that."

"Yeah, I forgive you," Jack chuckled as she bragged, "You only came that hard because of my magic fingers."

"That's probably true," Shepard admitted truthfully. "It was pretty fucking good — not gonna lie."

"Of course it was," the young brunette boasted. "Just so you know, you're hot as fuck when you cum."

"Really? Thank you for the compliment and for the, uh, help," Shepard grinned.

"I didn't do it for nothin'." Jack grinned as she quickly took her shorts off, kicking them away as she gently placed Shepard's hand inside her underwear. "It's my turn to get off."

"Uh, Jack…" Shepard whispered nervously, "I have no fucking idea what I'm doing."

"Seriously?" Jack asked in disbelief, "Ain't you ever seen a pussy before?"

"Uh, no," Shepard admitted truthfully. "I'm gay, remember."

"Well, yeah, I know," the young brunette chuckled, "But haven't you ever experimented?"

"Why would I? I ain't interested in pussy," Shepard chuckled.

"Well, it's time to get interested in **my** pussy! Time to make me cum," Jack said as she placed her hand over his larger one and gently moved it in the way that she liked.

"You're really wet," Shepard said, softly, as he continued to move with her guiding hand. 

"Yeah, well, gay or not, you're hot as fuck," Jack admitted as she continued to guide her blue-eyed friend, "Besides — watching you cum got me hot."

"Jack, this would be a lot easier if you'd take the damn underwear off," the young blonde suggested.

"Okay," the brown-eyed girl agreed as she removed his hand before removing her underwear and lying spread-eagle on the bed. "How's this?"

"Uh, better, I guess," Shepard shrugged as he took his place between her spread legs. "I'm going to touch you, just tell me what you like, and I'll try to do it for you."

"Oh, don't worry, I'll tell you **exactly** what I need," Jack reassured the young blonde as she allowed him to explore her slowly.

'I have no fucking idea what I'm doing. Can you help me out here?' Shepard asked the voice inside his head.

_'Did you really just ask me how to finger a girl?'_ The voice asked in amusement.

'Uh, yeah. I really did. Can you help me, please?' Shepard begged the voice as he gently rubbed his friend's sex.

_'Shepard, if you ain't ever seen a vagina, then what the fuck makes you think I've seen one! We're in the same goddamn body, you fucking moron,'_ the voice explained in an irritated voice, _'You like cock, I like cock. It ain't that hard to understand. Just let her guide you through it.'_

Shepard sighed, slightly annoyed by the voice in his head. "Jack, can you walk me through this? I swear I'll make it up to you. Next time, I'll blow your mind, I promise. But I am totally fucking lost here," the young blonde admitted.

"Are you for real?" Jack asked with a sweet smile. "You are so fucking sweet! I'll guide you this time, but you better make good on that promise."

"I will, I don't break my promises," Shepard assured as Jack guided his hand to her tiny nub.

"Just move with my hand," Jack instructed as she tried her best to guide her blue-eyed friend.

It didn't take long for Shepard to learn, and within minutes he had Jack writhing on the bed.

"Oh, fuck," Jack squealed as she gripped the bedsheets tight. "Add another finger. Your fingers are so fucking good! Fuck me harder!"

Shepard couldn't help but laugh as the young brunette squealed in pleasure as she began hitting him with both arms.

"Oh, fuck... oh, fuck… oh, fuck," Jack gasped. "Stop! Please stop! I'm gonna die if you don't stop!"

Shepard's laughter stopped as he began to fear that he had somehow hurt his wild friend. "Jack, are you okay? Did I hurt you?"

"Don't fucking stop! Keep fucking me!" Jack whined as she began to hit him once more in anger.

"But you told me to stop!" Shepard reminded her, confused by the young brunette.

"Don't fucking listen to me! I was gonna cum!" Jack explained in irritation. "Now, fuck me harder! Give it to me just like you did before you stopped!"

Shepard just chuckled and shook his head in amusement as he began fucking the young brunette hard with his fingers.

"Yes! Just like that! Don't fucking stop!" Jack ordered, and Shepard obeyed. "Rub my clit. Make me cum…"

"You make the cutest fucking sounds," Shepard teased as he continued to work her sex. "You sound like a mouse having an orgasm. It's so goddamn funny."

"Less talky, more fucky!" Jack insisted.

"Fucky? Really," the blue-eyed boy chuckled as he worked her until he felt her body contract around his fingers. "You cumming for me, Jack?"

Jack squealed in a way that Shepard had never heard before as her entire body lifted off the bed in ecstasy, her body convulsing as she rode the wave of pleasure to its end.

Shepard watched in fascination as Jack came hard on his fingers — noticing the massive amount of clear liquid pouring from his brown-eyed friend. "Are you okay, Jack?" The young blonde asked as he slowly removed his fingers from the girl's spent body.

Jack whined at the loss as her breathing began to slow. "Fuck, I'm better than fine!" Jack assured the young blonde as she pulled him down to lie beside her. "I fucking love you for helping me out. I fucking needed this!"

"Did I do okay — I hope I didn't hurt you," Shepard said as he wrapped his arm around her tiny waist.

"You were fucking amazing! You're a quick learner, for sure," Jack said as she kissed him hard on the mouth. "You are officially my best friend! Damn, that was so fucking good!"

Shepard laughed at his friend. "It **was** good, wasn't it? Just don't ask me to use my mouth. I don't think I could do that."

"Not even a little bit? Just a little tongue? I mean, are you sure you're not bi?" Jack asked as she glanced down at his flaccid sex. "Well, I guess that answers my question. You didn't even get a little turned on?"

"Nope. I just don't like girls, sorry," Shepard apologized. "But I did have fun. I could listen to those funny sounds you make all day. It's fucking hilarious!"

"Fuck you, Shepard," Jack said with a chuckle as she punched her blue-eyed friend hard in the shoulder. "If you were straight, would you want me?"

"If I were straight," Shepard contemplated, "Then… yes, definitely. No question. You're the only girl that I would even consider helping out. You're one in a million, Jack."

"So, would you consider helping me out again?" Jack asked with a feral grin.

"Sure," Shepard nodded in agreement. "I don't see why not."

"Fuck yes," Jack squealed as she kissed Shepard once again. "Your lips are really soft. Kinda strange for a guy."

"Yeah, apparently I have an impressive mouth," Shepard replied as Jack traced his full bottom lip with the pad of her thumb.

"Can I kiss you, or would that be weird?" Jack asked, genuinely curious about the feel of the blue-eyed boy's mouth.

"You already did… twice," the young blonde reminded her.

"I meant a **real** kiss, you jackass!" Jack explained as she rolled her eyes at her friend. "Like with tongue and stuff?"

"I guess," Shepard shrugged. "I don't see why not."

Jack leaned in and kissed the young blonde softly, noticing the gentleness of the kiss. Eventually, Jack grew bored with the chaste kiss and urged the young blonde's mouth open with her tongue. The kiss was long and languid, and Jack found it very pleasurable.

"You **do** have an amazing mouth," Jack agreed as she licked her lips in satisfaction. "I got lipstick all over you," Jack informed the blonde as she tried to remove it with her thumb.

"I don't mind," Shepard assured with a chuckle, slightly amused by the young brunette. "I should probably get in my own bed."

"Yeah, it's pretty late," Jack agreed as they retrieved their clothing.

"Goodnight, Jack," Shepard whispered as he crawled into bed and turned out the light.

"Goodnight, Shepard," Jack whispered as she closed her eyes and drifted off to blissful sleep.  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love the dynamic between Jack and Shepard. I hope you guys enjoyed it.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	15. Tattoo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard and Jack become closer, bonding over tattoos...

In the weeks that followed their bonding, Shepard and Jack had become inseparable, understanding each other in a way that few others ever could. They were two-of-a-kind, cut from the same cloth, and the kinship they found in each other was unlike anything either of them had ever known. It was comforting to know there was someone out there that truly understood exactly how it felt to be lost and just a little crazy.

"So, were you born in Vancouver?" Shepard asked as he gently brushed his friend's long dark-brown hair.

"Nah, I was born in Prince George," Jack explained as she glanced through a magazine, enjoying the feel of having her hair brushed, "My mom moved us to Vancouver when I was like three. I don't remember dick about Prince George, though. What about you? Are you a Vancouver boy, or did they just move you here?"

"Vancouver boy," the young blonde grinned as he finished brushing Jack's hair. "All done. I **think** I got all the tangles out."

"I'm thinking of shaving it all off," Jack announced as she put the magazine away. "What do you think? Should I shave it?"

Shepard shrugged. "I dunno. If you really want to shave it all off, then I say go for it," the blue-eyed teen said supportively. 

"Yeah," the young brunette said, giving her blonde friend a crooked smile. "All the nurses tell me that it won't look good — that I'll look too much like a boy."

"That's fucking stupid," Shepard said as he shook his head, "Do what makes you feel good, you know. Be happy in your own skin. If you wanna cut your hair, then cut your goddamn hair. Fuck what everyone else says. Besides, you'll be beautiful no matter what. So, you do you."

Jack grabbed Shepard by the shirt and pulled him in, kissing him hard on the mouth. "I fucking love you!"

"I love you too, Jack," Shepard chuckled as he hugged his friend tight.

"You wanna come with me to get it cut?" The brown-eyed girl asked with a fox-like grin. "We can get some ink while we're out."

"Hell, yes," the young blonde agreed wholeheartedly. "Just tell me when, and I'm there."

"Fuck yes," Jack exclaimed as she jumped to her feet. "I'll get us a pass for this Saturday while you're seeing Doctor Bennett."

"Sounds good," Shepard agreed with a chuckle as the door slowly opened.

"Johnny, it's time for your session with Doctor Bennett," the nurse announced, motioning for the young blonde to follow.

"Have fun," Jack said sarcastically, as she watched her friend disappear down the hallway. "Time to get that pass…"

**~~~☆~~~**

It took some convincing, but Jack finally secured a day-pass for herself and her blue-eyed roommate. To assure that every minute was spent to the fullest, the brown-eyed girl took her time preparing for their highly anticipated day out, going so far as to book an appointment for them at a local tattoo parlour — hoping to turn Shepard on to her love of tattoos.

"Hey, I got us an appointment at this place, I know," Jack explained as her blonde friend quickly swallowed his medication for the night, "They're really great, and have done all of my ink. I think you'll like them."

"Sounds good," the blue-eyed boy said as he sat down on his bed. "So, what are you getting?"

"Hell, I don't know," the young brunette chuckled, "I might get my other shoulder done. I need another mask to make it look good."

"Won't that take too long?" The young blonde asked as he curiously cocked his head to the side. "We only have until 8 p.m.; are you sure that's enough time?"

"That's plenty enough time to get the outline," Jack explained, "If they can't finish it in one session, then I'll just keep coming back until it's done. Simple."

"Makes sense," the blue-eyed boy said as he stretched his arms over his head.

"What are you going to get?" The brown-eyed girl asked. "Have you thought about it yet?"

"Uh, yeah," Shepard replied, "I have, actually. I think I'm going to get either the Canucks logo on my upper inner forearm or the words, 'I was not built to break' on my inner bicep. I haven't decided which."

"Why not both?" Jack asked with a shrug. "If you can't decide, just get both."

"I will if I have enough money saved," Shepard replied with a crooked smile.

"I know a guy that works there. He's pretty cool, so I'm sure we can work something out with him," the young brunette explained.

"I hope so," the young blonde said with a yawn. 

"You tired, Shepard?" Jack asked in an amused tone. 

"Yeah," the young boy admitted. "I've felt tired all day."

"You better not be getting sick on me," the young brunette teased, "I don't want to have to cancel tomorrow."

"You won't. I'm fine, really," Shepard assured as he pulled his shirt off and tossed it in the hamper. "I'll be good to go, come tomorrow."

"You better be," Jack chuckled as she, too, removed her shirt, replacing it with Shepard's larger one. "I guess I'll turn in too. We need to leave as soon as possible."

"I'll be ready," the blonde promised as he turned out the light.

"See you in the morning, Shepard," Jack whispered as she turned her light out as well. "Sweet dreams…"

**~~~☆~~~**

"You ready to go?" Jack asked as she pulled on her hoodie. "We need to get there as soon as possible. Tattoos take a while, you know."

"All set," Shepard grinned as he finished putting on his hoodie. "Lead the way, Jack."

"Nice," Jack grinned as she grabbed him by the arm.

"You two, be back by eight," the director warned as the two youngsters made their way out of the building.

"Yeah, yeah," they replied in unison as they laughed until they were out of sight.

"Freedom!" Jack yelled as she spread her arms wide and spun 'round and 'round. 

"Feels good!" Shepard said as he laughed at his young friend. "Where to, Jack?"

"Eager to get some ink, Shepard?" The young brunette asked as she motioned for the young blonde to follow.

"Hell, yes," the blue-eyed boy admitted as he followed her further down the street.

"Here we are," the brown-eyed girl announced as she quickly dragged her friend inside.

It didn't take long for both teenagers to register and settle in for their tattoos.

"Hey, Jack," the female artist, Anya, said as she motioned the young brunette over. "What can I do for you today?"

"I was thinking, it was about time to get the other shoulder done," Jack explained as she took her seat next to the young artist.

"Same art as the other shoulder?" Anya asked as she began preparing to sketch out the pattern on her tablet.

"Yep," the brown-eyed girl nodded as she spoke, "I've been waiting for ages. I think it's about time."

"Let's get started then," the artist smiled as she began sketching the image. "So, how old is your friend?"

"Uh, sixteen," Jack lied as she got comfortable. "This is his first tattoo."

"Yeah," Anya grinned as she adjusted the placement of the artwork on the young brunette's shoulder. "He's in good hands. Rex is one of the best. I hope he doesn't fear pain."

"Nah, he's tough," Jack assured her as she looked at the placement of her soon-to-be tattoo. "Looks awesome!"

"Yeah, let's get this show on the road," Anya chuckled as she began to outline the tattoo for the young girl.

"So, Shepard," Rex said as he motioned for the young blonde to take a seat beside him, "What are you looking to get?"

"I'd like to get two things if that's alright," the blue-eyed boy said as he bounced his knee nervously.

"That shouldn't be a problem, just as long as you stop bouncing that knee," the artist teased with a smile. "Are you really that nervous?"

"Not about the tattoo," Shepard explained, "I'm actually more nervous about whether or not you can finish both."

"Well, that actually depends," Rex admitted. "What are you wanting? I'll let you know if I can't finish today."

"Um, I want the words 'I was not built to break' on the inner part of my right bicep. And then I want the Canucks' logo on the upper part of my inner left forearm," Shepard explained as he pointed to where he wanted the placements to be. "Eventually, I want to have 'Vancouver Canucks' written beside it in script — but today I just want the logo."

"Sounds good," Rex smiled as he started sketching out the script. "Since the logo is a small one, I should be able to finish both today. No worries, eh."

"That's good," the blue-eyed boy nodded as he made himself comfortable. "Can you do the script in red and black, like red with black shading or something like that?"

"Sure," the artist assured as he continued to sketch on his tablet. "Is this what you're looking for?"

The script was just as Shepard had imagined it, making him smile in anticipation. "That looks fucking awesome!"

"Yeah," Rex grinned as he began printing the sketch. "Let's get this placed, and inked. Just sit back and relax."

**~~~☆~~~**

Four hours later, Jack was admiring her new ink. Totally ecstatic about the way it had turned out. 

"Damn, girl! You do great work," the young brunette praised as she admired herself in the mirror.

"Glad you like it," the young woman smiled. "Let me know when you're ready to work on that sleeve some more."

"I'll let you know as soon as I get the cash," Jack assured her as she stood up from the bench. "I guess I should go check on Shepard."

"Yeah, I think he's still getting stuck," Anya chuckled as she continued to clean her station.

"Yeah, he had his heart set on two tatts today," the brunette grinned as she walked towards the other artist's station. "I'm gonna go see if he actually did it. Thanks again."

"No problem," Anya replied with a wave. "See you later, Jack."

"Hey, you hanging in there?" Jack asked as she made her way to the young blonde's side.

"Yep," Shepard grinned as he continued to watch the artist work. 

"Almost done. I'm just adding the highlights," Rex explained as he continued to work. "He's a tough one, Jack. Not even a whimper. He squirmed a bit at first, but nothing too bad. He calmed down pretty quick too."

"Did you get two, or just the one?" Jack asked, pointing at the logo currently getting inked on Shepard's forearm.

"Two," Shepard replied, turning his arm to show her his wrapped bicep.

"Nice," the brunette smirked. "Can't wait to see how it looks."

"All done," the man announced as he put away the gun and began cleaning Shepard's freshly done tattoo. "What do you think?"

"It looks un-fucking-believable," Shepard exclaimed, "I love it!" 

"Good to hear," Rex chuckled as he gently wrapped the young blonde's forearm. "Just let me know if you want anything else done. I'll be happy to tattoo you anytime."

"I think I will," Shepard said as he shook the man's hand in appreciation, "Thanks again."

"No problem," the artist grinned as he watched the two disappear into the lobby.

Once they settled up, the two young friends made their way to a local restaurant.

**~~~☆~~~**

"You hungry, Shepard?" Jack asked as she nodded towards the entrance of the restaurant. "They got decent enough food."

"Maybe a little," the blonde answered quietly.

"Are you feeling okay?" The young brunette asked as she opened the restaurant door. "Did the tattoo session really tire you out that much?"

"Nah, I was tired before that," Shepard admitted truthfully. 

"You ain't getting sick on me, are ya?" Jack asked with a chuckle.

"No, nothing like that," the blue-eyed boy assured his friend as he took his seat in the booth next to her. "I just feel a bit off. I think they changed my meds or something."

"Yeah, they pull that shit all the time," Jack snorted, "They hand us a tiny cup of meds, but never tell us jack shit about what we're taking. It's fucked up."

"Seriously," Shepard agreed as he continued to look through the menu. "I'll let you pick what we eat."

"What if I pick something you hate?" The young girl asked in a slightly amused manner.

"I'll eat anything. Don't worry about it," Shepard assured her as he put the menu away.

"You like pad thai?" Jack asked as she glanced through the menu.

"Like what now?" Shepard asked, cocking his brow at the young brunette in confusion.

Jack broke out laughing at her blue-eyed friend, "Y-you've never heard of pad thai?"

"Nope," the blonde admitted with a crooked grin. "Is it good?"

"You're about to find out for yourself," the brown-eyed girl announced as she made her way to the counter to order their food.

"It'll be about ten minutes," Jack said as she made her way back to the booth. "Shit! I missed my hair appointment."

"Did you really need one?" Shepard asked curiously.

"Whattaya mean? I told you I wanted to cut all my hair off," the young brunette said in an annoyed tone.

Shepard snickered at his wild friend. "I know that, but why don't we just buy a set of clippers, that way you can cut it yourself. It's probably cheaper anyway."

"That's actually not a bad idea," Jack admitted, making her way towards the counter as their order number was called. "We'll pick up a pair after we eat."

**~~~☆~~~**

"So, you like it or what?" The young brunette asked as she took another bite with her chopsticks.

Shepard had to admit, once he learned to use the chopsticks, the noodles were quite tasty. "It's good. I like it."

"See, I know my shit," Jack grinned as she continued to eat her meal.

Shepard just nodded as he took a drink of his pop. 

"Odd question, but why do you call yourself 'Shepard'?" The brown-eyed girl asked curiously.

"'Cause it's my name," Shepard grinned.

"Smartass! I know it's your name, but it's your **last** name," Jack explained. "Do you really hate the name Johnny that much?"

"I fucking despise that goddamn name," the blue-eyed boy admitted.

"Okay, wanna tell me why?"

"Nope."

"Ass," Jack snorted as she shook her head at Shepard.

"I just never cared for it. And it got worse the older I got," the young blonde sighed as he tried hard to explain. "I just don't like it. It makes my skin crawl."

"I get that," Jack nodded in understanding. "What about going by your middle name? My mom used to call me by my middle name."

"No shit," Shepard said with a curious chuckle. "What's your middle name?"

"Jennifer, now don't change the goddamn subject," Jack replied in annoyance. "Why not go by your middle name?"

"I ain't got a middle name, not really anyway," the young blonde explained.

"Yeah, you do. Your file says, 'Shepard, John D.' I read that shit, remember?" Jack reminded him.

"Yeah, but my middle name ain't really a name. It was a cruel fucking joke that some asshole thought was funny," the blue-eyed boy admitted.

"I don't get it," the young brown-eyed girl replied with a look of confusion on her face. "Is it something dirty?"

"It's Doe, like the fucking deer. D-O-E," Shepard spelled the name in a disgusted tone. 

"Wait, your **legal** name is John Doe Shepard?" Jack blinked a few times in disbelief before speaking. "Shit, somebody must have hated you."

"You think," Shepard said sarcastically. "I think it was my mother, actually, but I ain't sure."

"So, 'Shepard' really is the only other option you have?" 

"Yep, pretty much," the young blonde admitted as he finished his noodles. "So… Your name's Jennifer, huh?"

"My **middle** name's Jennifer," Jack corrected as she finally finished her meal as well.

"You want me to call you 'Jennifer'? I can if you want," Shepard offered in a sincere tone.

"Hell no, call me Jack," the brown-eyed girl insisted. "My mom was the only one that ever called me Jennifer. I'd like to keep it that way."

"I understand," Shepard agreed, smiling softly at his friend. "You ready to go get your haircut?"

"Fuck yeah," Jack yelled as she made her way up from the table. "I'll go pay the bill and meet you outside."

"Sure," Shepard nodded as he made his way outside.

"You ready," Jack asked as she stretched her arms over her head.

"Yeah, after you," the blue-eyed boy smiled as he followed his friend down the street.

**~~~☆~~~**

After a quick stop to purchase a set of clippers, the two friends made their way to a nearby washroom— 

"How do you wanna do this, Jack?" Shepard asked as he placed the batteries inside the clippers. 

"I'll cut the front, and you can help with the back," Jack instructed as she turned the clippers on and slowly began to buzz the front of her head.

"How does it look so far?" The young brown-eyed girl asked as she continued to shear the dark-brown locks.

"It's looking really good," Shepard assured as he dusted the hair from his friend's shoulders. "I think you'll like it."

"Can you get the back for me?" Jack asked as she handed Shepard the clippers.

"Sure," the blonde agreed as he began to finish buzzing the dark-brown locks.

Once all the hair was buzzed, Shepard gently removed the loose hair from his friend's shoulders.

"Well, Jack, what do you think?" The blue-eyed boy asked as he gently rubbed his friend's back. "Looks good, yeah."

"I fucking love it!" Jack announced as she ran a hand over her freshly buzzed head. "It feels amazing!"

"It suits you," the young blonde grinned as he kissed his friend on the cheek.

"Today was fun, huh," Jack stated, sorry to see the day end. "We should go out again sometime, Shepard."

"Anytime, Jack," the blue-eyed boy said as he took her by the hand. "We better head back before we get in trouble."

"Yeah," Jack complained as they made their way out of the washroom. "I do not envy whoever has to clean up all that hair."

Shepard laughed loudly, "Sucks to be them, eh."

Once they were on the street, Jack immediately jumped on her blue-eyed friend's back, nearly knocking him off his feet.

"You could've warned me, Jack," Shepard chuckled as he repositioned her, so she wouldn't fall. 

"I knew you wouldn't let me fall," Jack smirked as she held on tighter. "You're like the king of the boy scouts. Well, the crazy-ass boy scouts at any rate."

"Whatever you say, Jack," Shepard grinned, shaking his head in amusement at his wild friend. "You want me to carry you on my back all the way home?"

"Yep. I know you can do it, so don't be a pussy," the brown-eyed girl teased. "Don't drop me either, or I'll kick your ass!"

Shepard pretended to drop Jack, causing the young girl to squeal in fright. Shepard broke out in warm laughter as he readjusted his shocked friend. 

"Relax, Jack," Shepard reassured her, "I was just playing. I'm not going to drop you, I promise."

"You fucking asshole!" Jack cursed as she held even tighter to the blue-eyed blonde. "You scared the shit out of me!"

"I love you too, Jack," the young blonde laughed as he continued towards home.

**~~~☆~~~**

"Welcome back," the receptionist greeted as they entered the building. "Did you two have f—" The receptionist froze when she spied Jack's new buzz cut. "Oh, Jack, what did you do? Your beautiful hair — gone…"

"Yep. Get used to it," Jack said as she dragged Shepard down the hall.

"Wait! It's time for your medication," the receptionist called out, causing Jack to stop and turn around.

"Jeez, do we really have to take this crap?" The young brown-eyed girl asked in disgust.

"Yes, Jack. You know the rules," the receptionist reminded as the nurse handed them each a tiny cup.

"Bottoms up, kids," the nurse said as he handed each of them a small cup of water.

"There, all done. Can we **please** go now?" Jack asked as she latched onto Shepard once again.

"Yes, you can go now," the nurse chuckled as the young girl practically dragged her blonde friend down the hall. 

"Hey, watch how you grab me," Shepard warned with a wince. "Fresh tattoos, remember..."

"Oh, sorry," Jack shrugged as she opened the door to their room, "My bad."

"Uh-huh," Shepard replied with a lighthearted grin.

"Show me your ink," Jack demanded as she pulled the hoodie from Shepard, tossing it onto the nearby bed.

"Okay, okay," the young blonde replied as he slowly unwrapped his bicep. "What do you think?"

"It looks fucking sweet!" The brown-eyed girl approved as she eagerly helped him unwrap his forearm. "That's just fucking cute! Seriously, you need a manlier tattoo."

"It's the Canucks' logo. Cute or not, I fucking love it!" 

"Alright, alright," Jack laughed, "I was only teasing, you jackass!"

"I know," Shepard grinned as he plopped down on his bed.

"Don't tell me you're sleepy," the young girl asked in a concerned tone. 

"Kinda," Shepard admitted as he stretched his arms out over his head.

"If you still feel that way tomorrow, you need to tell Doctor Talisen," Jack suggested as she stripped down for the night, putting Shepard's oversized shirt over her head.

"Nah, I'll be okay," Shepard insisted as Jack began taking off his shoes and pants. "I can do that myself, you know." The blonde boy chuckled as Jack continued to undress him.

"Shut up," Jack scolded. "You look like you feel like shit. So, let me help you."

"Fine," Shepard finally agreed as Jack continued her efforts. 

"There," the young girl said as she pulled the blanket over her tired friend. "Try to get some sleep."

"Thanks, Jack," Shepard mumbled as he quietly closed his eyes.

"No problem, Shepard," Jack grinned as she turned off the lamps and crawled into bed.

**~~~☆~~~**

**Two weeks later —**

"Shepard, you have a session with Doctor Talisen," the nurse announced as he motioned for the young blonde to follow.

Shepard got up slowly and quietly followed the young nurse. They got halfway down the hall when the young boy began to stagger against the wall.

"Johnny, are you okay?" The nurse asked in a concerned tone.

"I don't… I don't feel right," the young blonde whispered as he fell to one knee, before finally collapsing to the floor, his body tensing before jerking uncontrollably.

"I got a situation here," the nurse called out for help as he protected the young boy's head as he continued to seize violently. "It's okay, Shepard. You're going to be just fine."

Within a couple of seconds, Doctor Talisen arrived with Jack following close behind. 

"What the hell's wrong with him?" Jack asked, terrified for her friend.

"He's having a seizure. He has them from time to time," Doctor Talisen explained as she continued to watch over the young boy.

"Why is he bleeding like that?" Jack asked as she noticed the blood coming from Shepard's mouth.

"He probably bit his tongue," the nurse replied as he continued to keep an eye on his watch. 

"I don't understand this. He was doing fine. He hasn't had a seizure since he started retaking his anti-seizure medication," the doctor said as she gently turned the boy onto his side. "How long did it last?"

"About three minutes," the nurse answered. "I thought you discontinued his anti-seizure medication."

"No, of course not," Doctor Talisen replied in confusion. "The medication he's on can aggravate a seizure disorder. I would never discontinue his anti-seizure meds. Why would you even think that?"

"For the past four weeks, there hasn't been any anti-seizure medication on his pharmacy list," the nurse explained. "There must have been a mix-up when they changed pharmacy nurses."

"You make sure he gets them from now on," the doctor demanded, her tone full of anger and irritation. "The pharmacy needs to get its act together. If the new nurse is this unreliable, then perhaps she needs to stay away from the pharmacy. Unbelievable!"

Shepard slowly began to stir, feeling tired and worn out. "What happened?"

"You've had a seizure, but you're okay now," the doctor assured, as she stroked the young boy's dark-blonde hair. "There was a mix-up at the pharmacy. You haven't been getting your anti-seizure medication."

"Did I hit my head?" Shepard asked quietly, wondering what could have triggered the episode.

"Not that we know of," Doctor Talisen replied as she eased the boy to a sitting position. "I think it was caused by your psych meds. They can aggravate a seizure disorder."

"Then I ain't taking it no more," Shepard said in an irritated voice.

"As long as you take your anti-seizure medication, the psych meds won't trigger a seizure," the doctor explained, hoping the young boy would understand. "Do you understand?"

"Not really," the young boy admitted.

"Just continue to take your medication, and we'll handle the rest," Doctor Talisen assured as she helped the wobbly boy to his feet. "Jack, can you help him to his room? Watch over him for a bit, and if he has another episode, let us know ASAP."

"Yeah, I got him," Jack said as she let the much taller boy lean on her. "Come on, Shepard. Let's get you to bed."

Exhausted by the seizure, Shepard slept straight through the night, finally waking sometime the next day— 

"You finally awake?" Jack asked softly as she gently stroked her friend's dark-blonde hair.

"Yeah," Shepard answered as he slowly sat up in bed. "How long was I out?"

"All night," the brown-eyed girl replied as she continued to watch over him. "It's past noon."

"That fucking sucks," Shepard whined as he rubbed his face hard with both hands. "I hate those fucking things."

"You epileptic or something?" Jack asked, concerned about her friend. "You could have told me if you were." 

"There's nothing to tell," Shepard chuckled, "I ain't got epilepsy. I had a head injury when I was younger. It threw me into a seizure. I started having them every now and then after that. The doctors say that they'll eventually stop, but it can take a while. I usually only get one if I get hit hard on the left side of my head."

"So, you have PTS? That **is** a type of epilepsy," Jack corrected her blue-eyed friend.

"Is it?" Shepard asked, curiously, as Jack nodded in affirmation. "Huh…"

"Is that why you've felt like shit lately?" 

"Probably," Shepard said as he noticed the sad look in his friend's warm brown eyes. "I'm fine now, Jack. In fact, I think we should go get inked again this weekend."

"Yeah," Jack smiled a bit at her friend. "That sounds like a great plan. I'm in."

"Hell, yes!" Shepard exclaimed with a grin as the door opened.

"Shepard, Doctor Talisen wants to see you," the nurse announced as he waited for the young man to follow.

"God, I hope I don't have to do any tests," the young blonde whined as he rolled his eyes in dread.

"Good luck," Jack grinned as she watched him disappear down the hall.

**~~~☆~~~**

"How are you feeling today?" Doctor Talisen asked with a smile.

"Better," Shepard replied simply.

"That's good," the doctor said as she looked through the papers on her desk. "I have excellent news for you."

"Huh?" The young blonde asked in mild shock.

The doctor chuckled softly. "You're getting discharged, just in time for your fourteenth birthday. Your social worker called, and they already have a placement family waiting for when you leave from here. Isn't that exciting?"

"I-I guess," Shepard answered, uncertain as to how he felt about getting separated from his new friend. "Um, how long does Jack have, I mean, before she can be released?"

"Jack has a few more months yet," the doctor answered truthfully. "She'll be fine."

"When is my last day?" Shepard asked curiously.

"This Sunday," Doctor Talisen replied. "Your social worker will be here before noon on Sunday."

"Can I still go out on Saturday?" The blonde asked, hoping that he could spend one more day with his wild friend.

"Of course," the doctor nodded as she put the papers down. "You can go back to your room and tell Jack the good news."

"O-okay," the blue-eyed boy said as he made his way back to the shared room.

**~~~☆~~~**

"So, what did she have to say?" Jack asked anxiously, wanting to make sure her friend was okay. "Everything okay with you?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Shepard smiled sadly, "She just wanted to tell me that I'm being released on Sunday."

Jack's eyes widened in disbelief. "T-that's great, Shepard!" Jack said with tears in her eyes as she hugged him tight, "You get to be free. That's awesome!"

"I wish you could come with me," Shepard whispered, sad that he would have to leave his friend behind.

"Aw, I ain't gonna be in here forever. You don't gotta worry about me," Jack promised as she wiped the tears from her eyes. "We're still going out Saturday, right?"

"Of course," the blue-eyed boy promised. "We gotta go get inked, and I wanna take you somewhere."

Jack laughed a little at her blue-eyed roommate. "Where?"

"You'll see," Shepard teased as he hugged his friend tight. "Let's go find something fun to do, yeah."

"Hell, yes!" Jack agreed as she followed the blonde down the hall.

**~~~☆~~~**

Saturday came quickly, and Shepard and Jack found themselves, once again, at the, now familiar, tattoo parlour.

"So, I was wondering if you wanted to, you know, maybe get matching tattoos," Jack suggested as her face reddened.

"Are you blushing?" Shepard teased, as Jack hit him hard in the stomach. "Oof… Good one, Jack."

"Asshole! Do you want to or not?" Jack asked in an irritated voice.

"Of course I do, Jack!" Shepard smiled as he hugged his friend to his chest.

"I drew this thing and thought maybe we could both get it," Jack took the drawing from her pocket and showed it to her blonde friend. "So, what do you think?"

The drawing was of a large omega symbol with a human skull in the middle, and ten compass-like crosses surrounding the outer edge.

"I love it, Jack," Shepard assured her. "I can't wait to get it!"

"Yeah," Jack smiled in relief. "I'm getting it on my back. Where are you going to put it?"

"How about on my left pec?" The young blonde suggested.

"That'll look sexy as hell there!" Jack purred as she pinched his left nipple.

"Ow," Shepard replied halfheartedly. "I guess we better get this done, eh."

"Yep," the young brown-eyed girl agreed as she moved towards Anya's station, with Shepard moving towards Rex.

It took about six hours for the tattoos to be completed, and the roommates couldn't have been happier with the result. After paying their bill, the two made their way outside.

**~~~☆~~~**

"Close your eyes, Jack," Shepard instructed as he continued to lead his friend towards the surprise destination. "We're almost there."

"Goddamn, it's colder than a motherfucker!" Jack whined as Shepard rolled his eyes at his young friend.

"It ain't that cold. I'll give you my hoodie if you need it," the blue-eyed boy promised as he led her onto the soft sand.

"Is that sand? Where the fuck are we, Shepard?" Jack asked, tempted to open her eyes early.

"You'll see in just a few seconds," Shepard assured her as he led her to the edge of the water. "Okay, you can open your eyes now."

Jack opened her eyes slowly, widening them in shock at the beautiful colours before her. The sun was beginning to set, filling the sky with a plethora of colours — from warm pinks, soft yellows and greens, and bright blues, to mesmerizing purples, all made even more beautiful by their reflection on the water.

"It's beautiful," Jack whispered as she stared out in wonder at the gift her friend had given her.

"I try to come here as often as I can. I love the sound of the water — and the view at sunset, well— It's breathtaking, isn't it? I wanted you to see it."

"Thank you for this," the young girl whispered as she leaned her head onto Shepard's shoulder. 

"I wish I could show you the stars from here. They're so bright — they remind you of just how small you really are. Know what I mean?" Shepard asked as he glanced over at his wild roommate.

"We can stay a little longer," Jack insisted as she sat down on the beach, pulling her blue-eyed friend with her. "I wanna see those stars."

"You sure? We might get in trouble," the blonde reminded his friend.

"Who cares? You only live once, right?" Jack insisted as she cuddled close to her friend.

Noticing the tiny shiver coming from the young girl, Shepard took off his hoodie and wrapped it firmly around Jack's tiny shoulders.

"Thanks," Jack whispered as she gently placed her head on his broad shoulder.

"I'm gonna miss the hell outta you, Jack," Shepard said, softly, as he glanced up at the darkening sky. 

"Same," Jack whispered as she stared lovingly at the blue-eyed boy.

"The stars are out. Look," Shepard whispered as he pointed towards the sky.

"They really are brighter here," Jack smiled as she took Shepard's hand in hers. "You ain't gonna forget me, are ya?"

"Of course not! I could never forget you, Jack," the blue-eyed boy assured as he pulled her tighter to him. "I love you! You and me, we're kinda like parts of the same soul. We understand each other in ways no one else can."

"I fucking love you too," Jack said as she kissed him softly on the cheek. "Even if we both lose our shit one day, and we go completely mad, I'll still fucking love you."

"That means a lot, Jack," Shepard whispered as he continued to look towards the sky, everything blissfully quiet until Jack spoke.

"Wanna get off one more time, for old times' sake?" Jack asked with a wicked grin.

Shepard burst out laughing. "Sure, Jack, why the hell not," Shepard agreed as he kissed the top of her head.

"Fuck yeah!" Jack yelled as she shoved Shepard down onto the sand, causing the young blonde to laugh uncontrollably.

"Watch the tatts, Jack," Shepard reminded as his laughter continued. 

"It's gonna be a fun night, eh, Shepard," Jack said as her laughter joined his, echoing through the night.

**~~~☆~~~**

After returning four hours late, the two roommates were immediately reprimanded. Jack was forbidden from leaving the facility for three weeks, while Shepard was lectured on the dangers of being out after sunset. In the end, Jack had told Shepard that the punishment was worth it, easing the young blonde's guilt.

Morning came swiftly, and before they knew it, the roommates were forced to say goodbye.

"Well, I guess I'll see you around," Shepard said as he winked at his beloved friend. "Don't get into too much trouble without me."

"It's gonna be so fucking boring around here without you," Jack said as she touched her head to his chest. "I'm gonna miss you, Shepard. Well, I'll miss your fingers anyway," Jack teased, causing Shepard to snicker until she gently punched him in the gut.

"Ow," Shepard said halfheartedly. "We'll meet again. I mean, we're too fuckin' crazy not to run into each other again. Right?"

"Right," Jack agreed as she hugged the blue-eyed boy as tight as she could, letting the tears break free. "I fucking love you, Shepard!"

"I love you too, Jack," Shepard replied as he gently wiped the tears from her warm brown eyes.

"Shepard, it's time to go," Shepard's social worker, Daniel, announced. "We have to meet the White family at three."

Jack kissed Shepard hard. "Take care of yourself," the brown-eyed girl demanded as she tried to wipe the lipstick from his lips. "If anything happens to you, I'll fucking hunt you down and kick your ass! You hear me, Shepard?"

"Jack, that makes no sense," Shepard laughed as he kissed her softly once more. "I'll try to take care of myself. I'll see you again soon, yeah."

"You know it," Jack winked as she waved goodbye to her blue-eyed friend, "I'm keeping your shirt, jackass!"

"Wouldn't expect anything less! Later, Jack," Shepard called out with a mock salute as he made his way out of the building.

"Later, Shepard," Jack whispered as she went on about her day, looking forward to the day that she would see her friend again.

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter, a new home for Shepard.
> 
> Thanks for reading.


	16. Unwilling Dealer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard's new foster parents have an interesting business, and they want the young blue-eyed teen to join the family business. 
> 
> **This chapter contains minor character drug use.**

"Well, we're here," Daniel announced as he unbuckled his seat belt. "Are you excited to meet your new foster parents?"

"Not really," the young blonde answered truthfully. "What do you know about them?"

"The Whites are a young couple, and they seem very eager to meet you," the young social worker said with a smile.

Shepard rolled his sapphire eyes. "That's what they all say. What kind of people are they, though?"

"Well, as I said, they're young. You'll be their first foster child, but—"

"Not this again," the blue-eyed teen groaned. "Why do you people always place me with people you don't know shit about? I'm not some goddamn training doll."

" _Sigh—_ I know it must seem that way, but honestly, it's just a coincidence," Daniel explained, "They passed all of the background checks, and they've had several people vouch for their character."

"Well, yeah," the young blonde replied, "They got friends, don't they? Hell, you can pay someone for a good character review."

"You are one cynical young man," the young social worker chuckled, "But I suppose that's to be expected. The system has left you jaded, and that's totally understandable. Please, just give these people a chance."

"Like I have a choice," Shepard mumbled as he collected his pack from the back-seat. "Do they live in the apartment building or the house next door?"

"In the apartment building," Daniel replied, motioning to the building. "I think you'll like it here. It's very spacious — three bedrooms, two baths, a very nice place to live."

"They got any kids?" The blonde boy asked as he followed the young social worker into the building.

"No, sorry," Daniel said sympathetically, "But I'm sure you'll make friends soon enough."

"What floor?" Shepard asked as he began walking up the stairs.

"The third," the young social worker said as he followed the young boy closely. "This building has an elevator, you know?"

"So, ain't taking the stairs supposed to be good for you?" The blue-eyed boy asked as he continued up the stairs. "Besides, I like walking."

"You certainly seem more active than most of the kids I deal with," Daniel chuckled. "This is the third floor. It's the apartment on the right."

The young blonde made his way over to the door, but couldn't bring himself to knock. "What if they don't like me? I mean, do I call you? What do I do?"

Daniel laughed a little. "Don't worry. I think you'll be fine. That being said, you can always call me if you need me — no matter what time. Okay, Johnny?"

"Shepard. Call me Shepard," the young blonde insisted. "I hate the name Johnny, so, please, call me Shepard."

"O-okay, Shepard," the young social worker agreed. "Are you ready to meet them?"

"I guess," the blue-eyed teen shrugged as Daniel knocked on the door.

Within seconds, the door was opened, revealing an attractive young woman with shoulder-length honey-blonde hair, and dark-grey eyes. 

"Mr. Campbell, please come in," the petite blonde greeted as she opened the door further for her guests. "Is this Johnny? My, what a handsome young man!"

Daniel chuckled a bit as he led the young blonde into the residence. "This is, indeed, young Johnny. I have all of his information for you to examine. It includes a full list of his medications, as well as his latest prescriptions. It's imperative that he continue his regimen."

"I understand," the bubbly blonde replied as she took the items from the young man. "I'll make sure he gets them."

"Shepard, this is your new foster mother, Gina White," Daniel said, motioning towards the young blonde woman. "Gina, this is John Shepard."

"Hello, Johnny," Gina greeted with a smile. "Welcome to your new home."

"Is Kevin here?" Daniel asked, hoping to introduce the young blonde to the man.

"He is," the young woman answered. "I'll go get him, wait here."

"So, what do you think so far?" The young social worker asked the blue-eyed blonde.

Shepard just shrugged.

"No opinion yet, huh," Daniel said as he rubbed the boy's back gently.

"Mr. Campbell," a tall, middle-aged man with brown hair and hazel-green eyes called out as he made his way towards his two guests. "This must be Johnny."

"Indeed," the young social worker replied as he introduced the young blonde, "Kevin, this is John Shepard. Shepard, this is Kevin White — your new foster father."

"Nice to finally meet you, Johnny," the man greeted with a smile as he offered his hand to the young blonde.

Shepard said nothing as he reluctantly shook the man's hand.

"I'll show you to your room, Johnny," Gina said as she led the blue-eyed teen down the hall.

"Feel free to call me if anything comes up," Daniel replied as he shook Kevin's hand. "He can be a difficult boy, but I assure you, he isn't a bad kid."

"I understand," the older man assured as he firmly shook the social worker's hand. "I was similar in my youth."

"I'm glad you understand. Please, tell Johnny I said goodbye," Daniel said as he made his way to the door. "I'll check in with him soon. Have a nice evening."

"You too," Kevin said as he saw the young man out.

**~~~☆~~~**

"This is your room, Johnny," Gina informed the young blonde as she showed him around the room. "Feel free to make it your own."

The blue-eyed teen cocked a skeptical brow towards the young woman. 

"I'll leave you to get comfortable," the young woman said as she turned to leave.

"Wait," Shepard called out, causing Gina to turn his way. "I need to take my meds," the blue-eyed teen said nervously — not wanting to risk another seizure — as he turned his gaze to the floor.

"I'm surprised that you remembered," the young woman said, "Most kids wouldn't care."

"I just don't wanna get sick," the blonde boy said with a shrug.

Gina chuckled a bit as she retrieved the pills from their respective bottles, handing them to the boy. "I'll go get some water for you."

"Thanks," Shepard said with an appreciative nod.

_'So, what do you think of the new fosters?'_ The voice asked curiously.

'I'm not sure,' Shepard replied silently, 'I just met them like five minutes ago. The bedroom is nice, though.'

"Here you go, Johnny," the young woman said with a smile as she returned with a bottle of water.

"Appreciated," the blue-eyed teen said as he gratefully took the water, quickly swallowing his medication.

"I'll call you for dinner," Gina said as she made her way towards the door. "We'll talk about your education after, okay."

Shepard nodded as his new foster mother exited the room.

"I guess I should put my stuff away," the young blonde said to himself as he opened his pack.

It didn't take long for Shepard to unpack, finishing just as Gina called him for dinner.

"I hope you like chicken," the grey-eyed woman said with a smile.

"That's fine," the blue-eyed boy assured as he continued to stare at his plate.

"What are you waiting for," Kevin chuckled as he began to eat his food, "Dig in!"

The young blonde hesitantly picked up his fork and slowly began to eat.

"How's the food, Johnny?" Gina asked with a smile.

"It's good," Shepard replied, softly, as he continued to pick at his food.

"So, you're used to being homeschooled, huh," the older man asked as he took another bite of his food.

"Yes," the blue-eyed teen answered simply.

"You like it then?" Gina asked with a smile.

"It's fine," Shepard shrugged, not really caring about the conversation.

"Good, because we've decided to continue with the homeschool program. We want you to be as comfortable as possible," Kevin said with a wink. "Besides, it'll give you more freedom to get out of the house. Am I right?"

Shepard's brow furrowed in confusion. 'What are they playing at? I ain't never had somebody tell me it was okay to leave the house whenever I wanted,' the blue-eyed teen thought to himself.

_'He didn't say that you could leave anytime. You're reading too much into it. It's still fucking weird, though,'_ the voice agreed.

"I think you'll fit right in, Johnny," the older man said with a grin. "Just give it time."

Once dinner was over, the young boy made his way back to his room. Exhausted from the day's events, Shepard crawled onto his bed and quickly fell asleep — wondering what life would be like living with the Whites. Soon enough, the boy would get his answer— 

**~~~☆~~~**

**Two months later —**

"Did you have fun with your friends?" Gina asked the blue-eyed teen as he entered the spacious apartment.

"Yep," the young blonde replied as he sat his hockey bag down on the floor, "It was a good game. I wish Aaron could play, but he's still in a brace."

"Aaron? That's your dark-haired friend, isn't it?" The grey-eyed woman asked as she took a drink of her wine.

"Uh-huh," Shepard answered as he sat down on the couch. "I really hope the brace comes off soon."

"Did you finish your school-work?" Gina asked. 

"Uh, yeah, but I ain't sure I did it right," the young boy admitted. "I ain't no good at reading." 

"I'll look over it and correct it before I send it in," the grey-eyed lady said with a wink, "No worries, eh."

_'That's fucking weird. Good for you, I guess, but still fucking weird.'_

"Agreed," Shepard said aloud without thinking.

"What was that, Johnny?" Gina asked curiously.

"Huh?"

"You mumbled something," the woman informed the young blonde with a chuckle.

"It was nothing," Shepard assured her. "Did you ever get my meds refilled?"

"Oh, it totally slipped my mind!" The young woman said as she placed a hand over her mouth for added effect. "Are you sure you need them? I mean, you're doing fine without them, aren't you, Johnny?"

"I-I guess," the young blonde shrugged.

"I'll make sure you get them when you need them," Gina assured as she finished off her glass of wine. "Kevin wants to talk to you. He's in his office."

"Huh? D-did I do something wrong?" Shepard asked nervously.

Gina couldn't help but laugh at the anxious young blonde. "No, nothing like that. He just wants to talk."

"Oh, okay," the blue-eyed teen replied as he stood up from the couch.

"You can go on in," the grey-eyed woman insisted as she motioned him on.

Shepard made his way to the older man's office, knocking loudly before entering.

"Come on in," Kevin instructed as the young blonde did as he was told.

"You wanted to see me?" The blue-eyed boy asked, nervously, as he came to stand in front of his foster father.

"Johnny, how have ya been?" Kevin inquired as he stacked piles of colourful bills.

"Good." 

"I need you to do something for me," the older man said with a grin. "Nothing serious. I just need you to take a package to someone. Easy as pie."

"W-what kind of package?" Shepard asked, already dreading the answer.

"Nothing you need to worry about," Kevin explained, "All you need to do is go to the address I give you, and wait there for the guy to show up. Simple, eh."

"H-how will I know the guy?" The blue-eyed boy asked nervously.

"Don't worry about that," Kevin assured, "I gave him a description of you. He'll come to you, don't worry."

"Is that all I have to do?" Shepard asked anxiously.

"Yep. That's it," the older man reassured the young blonde. "Just hand him the package and collect his money."

"His money?" The young blonde asked in confusion.

"Yep. He'll pay you for the package," Kevin explained, "When he does, just return it to Gina. Do you understand, Johnny?"

"I-I think so," the young blonde replied quietly.

"Excellent! Here's the package," the older man said as he handed the young blonde a small white envelope. "And here's the address. He'll meet you there at six, so get going, Johnny boy."

Shepard just nodded as he turned to leave the office.

_'This is some shady shit, Johnny-boy!'_ The voice warned. _'You know I'm right.'_

'Yeah, but what the hell can I do about it? Maybe it's a legitimate delivery? We can't know for certain.' Shepard replied silently. 

_'He's sending you to Hastings Street for fuck's sake. Open the envelope and see what's in it,'_ the voice suggested. 

'I ain't doing that! I don't wanna know, unless I have to know,' the young blonde said, silently.

_'Blissfully ignorant, eh…'_

"Yep," Shepard answered aloud as he pulled on his hoodie and made his way to the address he was given.

It took Shepard around forty-five minutes to make it to his destination on East Hastings Street. It was late afternoon, and the young blonde was becoming more and more uneasy with every passing moment. The blue-eyed boy generally made it a rule to avoid Hastings Street as much as possible, and the irony that he was here now at the request of his foster father was not lost on the young teen.

"Un-fucking-believable," the young blue-eyed teen cursed under his breath.

_'This guy needs to hurry the hell up! We don't need to be stuck here after dark,'_ the voice said in an irritated tone. 

"That's for damn sure," Shepard agreed aloud as he scanned the area for anyone looking in his general direction. "I hate this goddamn street."

"Hey, kid," a strange voice called out, causing the blonde to turn his way. "Is your name 'Johnny'?"

"Yeah, what's it to you?" The blue-eyed boy asked curtly.

"I was told that you had a package for me," the man said as he fidgeted nervously.

"And who told you that?" Shepard asked, unwilling to hand over the package without being certain.

"Kevin," the man said as he nervously scratched his jaw. "Come on, kid, I need it bad…"

_'Oh, look, it's a motherfucking junkie. Fuckin' called it! I_ **_knew_ ** _this shit was shady,'_ the voice bragged.

The young blonde sighed heavily — rubbing his face hard. "You got the money?"

"Yeah, yeah," the man assured as he took out a wad of colourful bills.

"Fine, here's your stuff," Shepard said in a disgusted tone, as he took the money from the fidgety man.

The man wasted no time tearing into the small envelope, quickly placing the contents of a smaller baggy onto his tongue.

"Fuck my life," the young blonde growled as he put his hood over his head and made his way back to Union Street.

_'So, your fosters are drug dealers,'_ the voice snickered, teasing the boy mercilessly. _'That's actually a new one — never had to deal with that before. How does it feel to be a drug dealer, eh?'_

"That ain't fucking funny!" The young blonde snapped as he made his way into the apartment building. "I ain't doing that shit no more. Kevin can go fuck himself."

_'Ooh, brave words,'_ the voice teased. _'We'll see…'_

**~~~☆~~~**

"Johnny, is that you?" Gina asked, calling out from one of the back rooms.

"Yeah," the blue-eyed teen replied.

"Come on back. We're in the office," the young woman instructed.

Shepard took his time, unsure as to how he was going to handle the situation.

"There's my boy," Kevin said with a grin. "Did everything go well?"

"Yeah," the young blonde answered as he roughly handed Gina the money. "Don't fucking ask me to do that again. I ain't no goddamn drug dealer!"

"Get a load of this kid, Gina," Kevin chuckled as he turned his gaze on Shepard. 

"He's got balls, for sure," the grey-eyed woman grinned as she took a drag from her cigarette.

"I knew I liked this kid," Kevin smirked, "He reminds me of myself — cocky little bastard."

The blue-eyed blonde just narrowed his eyes at the older man.

"Look, kid, you're going to do, **exactly,** what I tell you to do," Kevin insisted in a dark voice. "If you don't do as I say, your ass is going to jail. Do you understand me, blue-eyes?"

"Fuck you," Shepard replied in anger, "I ain't done nothin' wrong! Even if you try that shit, I'll just tell 'em about your little set-up. So, fuck off, and send me back already. I don't wanna have nothing to do with this shit."

"Aw, isn't that adorable?" Gina teased, winking at her husband as she continued to speak. "Blue-eyes thinks he's in control."

"He is pretty damn cute, isn't he," Kevin chuckled as he pulled up a file on his computer, turning his laptop in Shepard's direction. "Look familiar, Johnny?"

The video was of the deal on East Hastings, the video clearly showing Shepard selling fentanyl to the man. 

Shepard was shocked by the video. "How? You fucking set me up!"

"You're damn right I did," Kevin chuckled. "You might be fucking stupid when it comes to books, but you're too goddamn street smart. I couldn't risk you trying to start trouble."

"I'll just tell 'em that you made me do it," the young blonde insisted.

"Oh, Johnny-boy," Gina said, shaking her head at the young boy, "Who would believe you? You're a difficult child. Isn't that what they say?"

"Don't forget, he's fucking crazy! Always talking to himself," Kevin laughed as he teased the boy, "And always refusing to take his medicine. Such a bad boy. Hell, it might just be easier to have him institutionalized."

"The thing about my meds — that ain't my fault! Gina won't get them filled," Shepard anxiously explained. "I'd take 'em if I had 'em!"

"Do you honestly think that anyone would take your word over ours?" Kevin asked seriously. 

_'He's got a point, kid. I think you're fucked,'_ the voice said sympathetically, _'You ain't got much choice.'_

"Goddammit…" Shepard whispered as he rubbed his face hard, "What the fuck do you want from me?"

"There's a good boy!" Gina praised as she kissed the boy on the cheek.

"Sell for me," Kevin instructed simply, "That's all you have to do."

"Well, that and the occasional pick-up and delivery," Gina reminded her husband.

"Ah, we can't forget that. Can we, honey?" The older man grinned.

"Who do I give the money to?" Shepard asked numbly.

"You can just give it to Gina," Kevin instructed. "If she's not here, you give it to me. Simple."

Shepard nodded slowly in agreement.

"Maybe you can sell some to your little hockey buddies," the grey-eyed woman suggested with a wink.

"They don't do that shit," Shepard snapped, disgusted by the thought.

"Aw, that's too bad," Gina pouted as she handed a note to the young blonde. "Some guy called about needing his bike fixed."

Shepard hastily took the note from his foster mother's hand.

"Don't let that get in the way of your **other** work," Kevin warned.

"I won't," Shepard assured as he turned to leave the room.

"This is the beginning of a beautiful relationship, Johnny," Kevin called out, causing Shepard's stomach to turn.

The young blonde said nothing as he made his way out of the office.

**~~~☆~~~**

In the months that followed, Shepard did as he was told, and often wondered what he would do if his friends ever found out the truth. Would they understand, or would they wash their hands of the young blonde — wanting nothing to do with that kind of life?

" **Baby Boy** ," Ryan called out, waving his hand in the young blonde's face to get his attention. "You okay? You spaced out on us again."

"Huh?" The blue-eyed teen asked, not realizing that he hadn't been listening.

"J, are you sure you're alright?" Aaron asked as he touched his hand to the boy's forehead. "You've been acting strange lately."

"I ain't sick, Aaron," the young blonde huffed as he pushed the green-eyed teen's hand away.

"Okay, my bad," Aaron apologized as he threw his hands up in defeat. "You wanna see my apartment? It's not far from here, and I just got it all set up. Elise wanted to decorate, but I decided against it."

"Is she gonna be there?" Shepard asked in annoyance. 

"I'm not sure. She kinda drops by randomly," the green-eyed boy admitted. "My birthday's coming up, and Elise wants to throw a party. I'll only agree if you come, though."

The young blonde couldn't help but smile at the older boy's words. "If you really want me to, I'll come."

"He **really** wants you to," Ryan assured, "He's driving Elise mad. He refuses to answer until he knows if you can come or not."

Aaron laughed as he playfully punched his grey-eyed friend in the shoulder. "Yeah, well, it wouldn't be a party without my J."

"True enough," Ryan agreed. "I guess we need to show him where you live. We wouldn't want Baby Boy to get lost."

"Let's head out then," Aaron said as he paid the cheque. "I'm driving, Ryan."

"Not likely, Hayes," Ryan grinned as they made their way towards the car. "It's my car, so I drive."

Shepard rolled his sapphire eyes as he snatched the keys from his grey-eyed friend's hand. "Fuck you both! **I'll** drive."

"Uh, J, you're only fourteen," Aaron reminded the young blonde. "You don't even have a licence."

"Do you even know how to drive?" Ryan asked, curiously, as he was shoved into the back of the car by a very determined Shepard.

"I guess we'll find out, won't we, Walker," the blue-eyed teen teased. "Get in the car, Aaron."

"J, come on," Aaron chuckled nervously, "Let me drive, yeah."

"Aaron, stop being a pussy and get in the goddamn car," the young blonde demanded.

Ryan stuck his head out the back window. "He means business, Aaron. I suggest you do as he says."

"Jesus," Aaron said as he made the sign of the cross before getting into the car.

"Buckle up," Shepard instructed as he asked Aaron for his address. "Where to?"

"You might not know how to get there," Aaron said, still hoping to change his young friend's mind about driving.

"Bitch, please," The blue-eyed blonde said in annoyance, "I grew up here. I know where everything is in the DTES."

"He's got a point," Ryan admitted.

"Shut the hell up, please," Aaron whispered through gritted teeth as he nervously snapped his seat belt.

"Address, please," Shepard instructed, growing more impatient by the second.

"Uh, 6309 East Cordova," the green-eyed teen replied as he touched Shepard's hand gently. "Are you sure you don't want me to drive?"

"Aaron, DO– YOU– TRUST– ME?" Shepard asked slowly, in a tone that demanded a truthful answer.

"Of course, J," Aaron replied honestly. "Always, yeah."

"Then relax and let me do this," Shepard instructed as he started the car and made his way to East Cordova Street.

The drive was quiet and uneventful — and the two older boys couldn't have been more relieved.

"You drive good, but you're a bit of a speed-demon, aren't you," Ryan chuckled nervously.

"We're here, ain't we? Nobody died," Shepard said as he handed the keys back to his grey-eyed friend.

"You did great, J," Aaron praised nervously. "But you gotta lay off the gas, eh."

"I guess," the young blonde shrugged. "I didn't think I was going that fast."

"You weren't, but it was still a bit too fast for the city streets," Aaron explained. "You'll get the hang of it. Don't worry."

"Aaron, please don't encourage him," Ryan whined as he threw his arm around the blue-eyed blonde, noticing just how much Shepard had grown. "Damn, Baby Boy, you're as tall as me!"

"Yeah, he passed me by a few weeks ago," Aaron chuckled. "He's getting a bit too big for you to keep calling him Baby Boy, eh, Ryan."

"Nah, he'll always be my Baby Boy," Ryan teased as he kissed the boy hard on the cheek.

"Yeah, yeah," Shepard couldn't help but grin at his friends' behaviour. "Are you gonna show me the apartment or what?"

"Follow me," Aaron said with a wink as they entered the building, making their way to Aaron's small apartment.

"I expected it to be bigger," the young blonde said, sapphire eyes shining.

Ryan laughed at the comment as he made his way to Aaron's refrigerator. "Yo, Aaron, got any food in here?"

"You just ate, Ryan," Aaron grinned, shaking his head at his friend in amusement.

"What's your point?" Ryan asked as he grabbed a container of left-over pasta. "Is this your mom's pasta?"

"Yep," Aaron replied as he took his J by the hand, leading him towards the bedroom. "I'm gonna show J my room. I think he'll like the way I got everything set up."

"I'm sure he will," Ryan whispered under his breath as he shook his head at his clueless green-eyed friend.

"You like it, J?" Aaron asked as he led the young boy towards the middle of the room. "I was going to have my trophy case moved here, but my mom just wasn't having it."

"I like the way you have all your gear displayed," Shepard said, smiling softly at his beloved friend. "It looks convenient."

"It is," the green-eyed teen replied. "My dad gave me the idea."

"Aaron, why did you decide to move here?" The blue-eyed teen asked curiously. "I mean, wouldn't you be more comfortable living closer to your family?"

"I like it here," Aaron answered truthfully, "I like being close to you, yeah."

The blue-eyed teen blushed at the comment, then quickly turned from the older boy's gaze. "Maybe you should get a smaller bed. This one takes up most of the room," Shepard said as he walked toward the large bed.

Aaron grinned as he tackled his young friend, bringing them both down onto the soft bed. "My bed's the best, J. No way I'm getting a smaller one," Aaron said as he began to tickle the younger boy.

"Aaron… S-stop," the blue-eyed boy laughed as he tried desperately to catch his breath. "I-I can't breathe…"

Aaron ceased his torture of the young blonde, smiling, fondly, as he paused to stare at the young blonde, "You have the most beautiful blue eyes, J."

Shepard blushed as he leaned closer to his green-eyed friend, and just as their lips were about to touch— 

"Yo, Aaron, Elise is—" Ryan's words died in his throat as he grinned wickedly at his two best friends before quietly closing the door behind him. "What have we here?"

"Goddammit, Ryan," Aaron cursed as he sat up on the bed, "Don't you ever fucking knock?"

"Had I known you two were so **busy** , I would have," Ryan teased, giving Shepard a knowing wink.

"It's not what you think, jackass," Aaron explained, "We were only playing. I was just tickling him, that's all." 

"You don't have to explain anything to me," the grey-eyed teen assured as he helped the young blonde off the bed. "But, uh, Elise is in the front room, and she might lose her shit."

"Did you tell her I was here?" The young blue-eyed teen asked in annoyance.

"Well, yeah," Ryan admitted. 

"Did you tell her J was in my room?" Aaron asked, obviously irritated by his grey-eyed friend.

"Uh, yeah," Ryan said nervously, "But I told her that J tore his shirt and needed to borrow one of yours."

"What the hell kind of excuse is that?" Shepard asked as he rolled his sapphire eyes at his friend.

"The only one I could think of," Ryan admitted as he nervously combed his hand through his hair.

"She's gonna fucking freak," the young blonde said as he rubbed his face with both hands.

Aaron quickly yanked Shepard's shirt hard, tearing it in the process.

"What the hell, Aaron?" The blue-eyed teen asked in confusion.

"Might as well go with what stupid said," Aaron said as he retrieved a grey t-shirt from his dresser drawer.

"Sorry, I couldn't think of anything to say," Ryan admitted, genuinely apologetic about the whole situation.

"You didn't have to lie, Ryan," Aaron chuckled. "I was just showing J around. We weren't doing anything."

"Uh-huh," the grey-eyed teen grinned, causing Aaron to give him a disappointed look. "I panicked."

"It's fine, Walker," Aaron assured as he led Shepard to the door.

"Shouldn't I go ahead and change shirts?" The young blonde asked.

"No!" Ryan and Aaron replied in unison, causing Shepard to give them a confused look.

"Elise will fucking lose her shit if she even suspects that you got naked in front of Aaron," Ryan explained.

"Naked? It's a goddamn shirt, not a pair of underwear," the blue-eyed teen said as he shook his head.

"Yeah, but Elise is fucking crazy," Aaron said as he slowly opened the bedroom door. "Just trust us, okay."

**~~~☆~~~**

"About time! What took so damn long?" Elise asked in an irritated voice.

"Elise, why didn't you tell me you were coming?" Aaron asked as he gave her a quick kiss.

"I didn't **know** I was coming," Elise said in an annoyed tone, "I just decided that I wanted to see you. Is that a problem?"

"Of course not," Aaron said as he turned to face his friends, handing the grey tee to his J. "Elise, you remember J, don't you?"

Elise's eyes went wide, biting her lip as Shepard pulled the ripped shirt from his body, revealing the well-muscled chest underneath.

"Put your tongue back in your mouth, Elise," Ryan whispered as he teased, "You're starting to drool."

"Fuck you, Ryan!" Elise snapped as she quickly glanced away from the blue-eyed teen.

"You got new ink, J?" Aaron asked as he walked towards the young blonde.

"Uh, yeah," Shepard nodded as Aaron gently touched the new tattoos. "I think you've only seen two of them. I got three more finished ones, and one that’s a work in progress."

"That skull and omega symbol looks sick!" Ryan commented as he examined the tattoos carefully.

"I've had that one for a while now," Shepard explained, smiling softly at the memory of his wild friend. "Jack and me got matching tattoos before I left rehab. It's her drawing."

"You never told me that," Aaron said, feeling a bit jealous, but not knowing why.

"I didn't?" The young blonde questioned. "I thought I did."

"What's written on your side?" Ryan asked as he turned the boy's body to get a better look at his left side.

"May you be in heaven before the devil knows you're dead," Aaron read the script aloud, tracing the intricate lines and red star at the base of the script.

"Isn't that missing a line?" Ryan asked, cocking a brow at his Baby Boy.

"Well, yeah," Shepard admitted, causing Elise to burst out laughing.

"He's so fucking stupid! He couldn't even get that right," Elise teased. "Fucking dumbass faggot…"

"I wanted it like that, you fucking cunt," the young blonde growled.

"Aaron, are you going to let him talk to me like that!?" Elise whined, looking to her boyfriend for assistance, "Do something!"

"J, come on," Aaron scolded, halfheartedly, "Was that really necessary?"

Shepard shrugged as he spoke. "I'm sorry, Aaron, but she started it." 

"No, you started it!" Elise argued. "I have been nothing but civil to you!"

"Civil, my ass! Every other word out of your goddamn mouth is faggot this and faggot that. Hey, Walker, wasn't her hair a mousy-brown colour before?" The blue-eyed teen asked darkly.

"Uh, yeah," Ryan answered truthfully, "It was."

"That explains the memory loss. I think all that fake blonde hair dye went to her head," Shepard said in a disgusted tone.

"Fuck you, faggot," Elise yelled as she shoved the young boy roughly.

"I swear to god if you push me one more time, I will fucking smack you in the goddamn mouth," Shepard warned, causing Aaron and Ryan to look at each other in worry.

"J, calm down," Aaron whispered as he gently rubbed the boy's naked back. 

"I need to get out of here," the young blonde said as he quickly put on the grey shirt Aaron had given him, "I got something I gotta do anyway."

"I can drive you, Baby Boy," Ryan offered, wanting nothing more than to be away from Elise and the inevitable shitstorm that was brewing.

"You sure it ain't too much trouble," Shepard asked as he pulled his hoodie on and collected his pack.

"No trouble at all," Ryan assured as he made his way to the door. "We'll see you later, Aaron. Good luck!"

"Later, Ryan," Aaron said as he continued to stare at his girlfriend in disapproval.

"Let's go, Baby Boy," the grey-eyed teen said as he led the young blonde to his car.

"I hate that bitch!" Shepard yelled as he punched the side of the brick wall hard with his left hand.

"Whoa! Calm down, Baby Boy," Ryan said as he led the boy safely away from the wall. "She's a cunt, for sure, but she ain't worth hurting yourself over."

"What the fuck does Aaron see in her?" The blonde asked as he got into the passenger's seat.

"I'm not sure. But, I guarantee, it's complicated," Ryan explained as he started the engine. "We both know it'll never last between them, so let's just let them do their thing, eh."

"Aaron deserves better," the blue-eyed teen replied softly.

"Yeah, he really does," the grey-eyed teen sighed. "Where to, Baby Boy?"

"Can you drop me off at Hastings?" Shepard asked as he put his head against the car window.

"Hastings?" Ryan repeated, hoping that he had misheard his young friend.

"Yeah."

"Why the hell do you need to go there?" The grey-eyed teen asked in concern.

"Nothing you need to worry about. I gotta pick up something for Kevin," Shepard replied.

**~~~☆~~~**

"Do you want me to wait until you're finished?" Ryan asked, hoping his young friend would agree.

"Nah, it might take a while," the blue-eyed teen admitted. "I can just walk home. It ain't far. I do it all the time."

"Call me when you get home, eh," Ryan insisted as he stopped to let the young blonde out of the car. "If you don't, I'll be forced to come looking for you. I mean it, Baby Boy."

"I will," Shepard promised as he exited the car. "Thanks for the ride, Walker. Love you. Be safe, yeah."

"Love you too, Baby Boy," Ryan said with a smile. "Be careful, and remember to call me."

Shepard waved as he watched his friend drive away, waiting patiently for the car to be out of sight before making his way towards his usual clientele.

**~~~☆~~~**

"How much did you make today, blue-eyes?" Gina asked as she held her hand out, awaiting payment.

"I sold everything you gave me," the young blonde replied as he handed her the money.

"Good job," the young woman praised as she made her way into the kitchen. "Are you hungry? I can make something for you."

"Not really," Shepard said as he walked towards his bedroom. "I think I'll lie down for a bit — after I call my friend."

"I'll call you for dinner," Gina said with a wink.

Shepard just nodded as he dialed his friend's number. 

"Yo," Ryan answered simply.

"I'm home. No need to go worrying," the young boy chuckled. "I'm gonna go lie down for a bit. I'll talk to you later, Walker."

"Later, Baby Boy," Ryan chuckled. "Let me know if you need anything."

"Will do. Bye, Ryan," Shepard said as he ended the call and made his way to his bedroom.

"I hope I didn't piss Aaron off," Shepard thought aloud. 

_'That bitch had it coming,'_ the voice insisted. _'She's lucky you didn't slap the taste out of her mouth.'_

"I really fucking wanted to. That's a real problem for me. I need to learn to control my anger better," the blue-eyed teen explained, "I can't be hitting girls. That's just wrong."

_'Maybe, but that bitch deserves it,'_ the voice argued.

"Maybe, but I don't need to be the one to do it."

_'True enough, I guess,'_ the voice agreed.

"Johnny, you have a call," Gina called out, causing the young blonde to sit up.

"Who is it?" Shepard asked loudly.

"Your friend Aaron," the young woman replied.

Shepard ran to the phone in record time.

"Aaron," the blue-eyed teen greeted happily, "I'm really sorry about earlier. I hope you're not too mad at me."

"I'm not mad, J," Aaron said, "She was acting rude to you for no reason. But you really need to control your anger, eh."

"I know," Shepard admitted in a sorrowful tone. "I guess I'm uninvited to your party, huh?”

"Of course not!" Aaron chuckled. "I really want you to come, yeah. That's not why I called, though. I wanted to tell you that I got you something. Can you come to my place tomorrow?"

"Sure," the young boy said as his heart raced at the thought of seeing Aaron again. "What time do you want me to be there?"

"Um, anytime after noon. Is that okay with you, J?" The green-eyed teen asked.

"That's fine," Shepard grinned. "I'll try to be there before one."

"Sounds good," Aaron agreed. "Can't wait to see you… I love you, J."

"I love you too, Aaron," the blue-eyed blonde said as Aaron ended the call.

For Shepard, tomorrow couldn't come soon enough— 

**~~~☆~~~**

"I wonder what Aaron got me?" Shepard asked, nervously, as he made his way to Aaron's apartment.

_'Who knows? With Aaron, it could be anything,’_ the voice replied.

"I really hope Elise doesn't show up," the young blonde said as he knocked on the apartment door.

"J! Come on in," Aaron said as he gave his blonde friend a quick hug. "You want something to drink?"

"Nah, I'm good," Shepard replied as he took a seat on the couch. 

For the next few hours, the two friends just sat around enjoying each other's company — talking about simple things, never allowing the conversation to become too heavy. It was easy and pleasant, just like Shepard liked.

"So, you said you had a tattoo that was a work in progress," Aaron said, remembering what his J had said. "I never got to see it. Will you show it to me?"

"Sure," Shepard grinned as he took off his hoodie and showed Aaron his inner right forearm. 

It was the outline of a wolf's head. It was howling with a white mist coming from its mouth — the mist taking the shape of a face screaming in agony.

"I-it's beautiful, J," the green-eyed teen whispered sadly, understanding the meaning of the image instantly.

"Y-yeah," the young blonde said nervously. "The wolf's me, and the face… Well, that's all my demons, I guess. My head gets so crowded and fucked up that I just want to scream it all away— It sounds stupid."

"No, J, it doesn't sound stupid," the green-eyed teen replied, "I understand, really I do. You're the reason I decided to make psychology my major. I want to help you, yeah."

"So, you don't mind that I'm fucked up?" The blue-eyed teen asked.

"You're not fucked up, J," Aaron insisted, "You're just… different, yeah."

"Whatever you say," the young blonde chuckled as he shook his head in doubt.

"Before I forget, I got you something," the green-eyed teen said as he handed the boy a cell phone. "It's got a small crack near the bottom of the screen, but it works just fine. You don't have to worry about a calling plan. I've already taken care of it."

"Aaron, I can't take this," Shepard replied, "It's too much. I can't let you do that."

"Yes, you can, J," Aaron insisted. "You **need** a cell phone. I am **not** taking 'no' for an answer. So, you may as well accept it, J."

"Let me pay you for it," the younger boy insisted.

"Nope, not happening," the green-eyed teen stated firmly. "I got it cheap from a friend, so I wasn't out much. My number's already been added to contacts, along with Ryan's. So, you don't have to worry about that, eh."

"Thank you for this, Aaron," Shepard said softly. "I really appreciate it."

"No problem, J," the green-eyed teen grinned as he rubbed his young friend's back.

"So, what time is your party?" Shepard asked curiously.

"It's at six, I think," Aaron explained, "But you can come earlier if you want. I might be a bit late because of a family thing. Ryan will be here, though, so, no worries, eh."

"Okay, I'll be there," the blue-eyed blonde promised as he looked at his watch. "Shit, I gotta go. I have to deliver something for Kevin, and I really shouldn't be late."

"I can drive you if you want," Aaron offered, following his young friend to the door.

"Nah, that's okay," Shepard assured as he opened the door to leave. "Thanks for asking. I appreciate it. Thanks again for the phone."

"No problem, J," the green-eyed teen said as he gently kissed his J on the forehead. "I love you, yeah."

"I love you too, Aaron," Shepard smiled, his sapphire eyes shining brightly. "I'll see you Friday, eh."

"You bet," Aaron grinned. "Take care, J. You can text or call me anytime."

"Oh, I will. I'll text and call so much that you'll never want to see me again," Shepard joked with a fox-like grin.

"Not likely, J," Aaron laughed as he watched his blue-eyed friend disappear from sight. "See you soon, baby."

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter, Aaron has a birthday party, and afterwards Shepard meets a new playmate.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	17. Wild Blue-Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron has a birthday party, and everything goes well, until an incident in the washroom sends Shepard running. After leaving the party the blue-eyed teen meets a new playmate...
> 
> **This chapter contains underage drinking and (mildly graphical) sexual content.**

"Okay, Baby Boy, what's this big favour you need me to do for you?" Ryan asked as the young blonde buckled his seat belt.

"I need you to pick up a bottle of Crown Royal (XR) for Aaron's birthday," the blue-eyed teen explained, "It's a gift."

"That's kinda expensive," the grey-eyed teen said as he cocked his brow at the young blonde. "Are you sure you can afford it, Baby Boy?"

"As long as it ain't over $150, we're good," Shepard assured him as he showed his friend the money.

"Do I even want to know where you got that?" Ryan chuckled.

"I work on bikes, remember," the young blonde reminded, as he rolled his eyes at his friend.

"Uh-huh," the grey-eyed boy said in a dubious manner. "You do realize that I won't be nineteen for a while now?"

"So? I know you got a fake ID," Shepard replied with a grin.

"Well, yeah, but I only use it to get into clubs where it's low-risk. I don't use it at the liquor store," Ryan chuckled. "I could get in real trouble if I get caught."

"Seriously?" The young blonde asked with a sad look, "What am I gonna do now?"

"I know a guy," Ryan assured as he rubbed the young blonde's shoulder, "I can get him to pick it up for you."

"Really?" Shepard asked as his sapphire eyes lit up. "And you're sure he wouldn't mind picking it up?"

"I'm positive," the grey-eyed teen promised, "He won't mind at all. I've known him for a couple of years now. He's a good guy."

"A couple of years? Why haven't I ever met him?" The young blonde inquired, cocking his head to the side.

"Well, uh," Ryan tried to explain, "We don't see each other all that often — just every now and then."

"Ah, you're fucking," the blue-eyed boy responded simply.

Ryan broke out laughing. "I fucking love how blunt you are! It's so refreshing. Anyway, I'll text him and tell him to meet us there."

"Good deal," the young blonde said as he leaned his head against the car window.

"Are you feeling okay? You look tired as all hell," the older boy said as he continued to text his friend.

"Yeah, I'm just tired," Shepard admitted. "I got up early this morning. I had to run an errand for Gina."

"No wonder you stay in such great shape," Ryan joked, "They run your ass off."

"They really do," the blue-eyed boy chuckled as Ryan's cell phone buzzed.

"He's on his way," Ryan grinned as he pulled out of the parking lot.

It took about fifteen minutes to arrive at their destination— 

"Hey, Ryan," a tall, attractive young man with dark-brown hair and golden-brown eyes, greeted with a crooked smile. "How's it going?"

"Can't really complain," Ryan grinned as he hugged the older man. "How about you?"

"Ah, you know me," the golden-eyed man chuckled, "I'm always good."

The golden-eyed man grinned as his gaze shifted towards the young blonde. "So, is this your new boy? I gotta admit, I'm impressed."

"It's not like that," Ryan laughed, "This is Shepard, he's just a friend."

"Too bad," the young man said as he licked his lips. 

"Yeah, he's hot. I get it," Ryan grinned as he shook his head in amusement, "Shepard, this is Dylan. Dylan, meet Shepard."

"I'm **very** pleased to meet you," Dylan teased as he shook the blue-eyed boy's hand. 

Shepard grinned at Dylan as he gave the golden-eyed man a flirty wink. "Same here."

"Really, Baby Boy?" Ryan laughed with an amused look on his face. "The kid's as bold as brass."

"Nothing wrong with that," the golden-eyed boy said as he returned the wink.

"Easy, tiger," Ryan said with a playful shove. "You can play with me later, eh."

"Oh, is that an offer?" Dylan asked curiously.

"It is," the grey-eyed teen assured as he handed his friend a handful of colourful bills, "But first, you need to get that bottle of Crown."

"Ah, yes," Dylan grinned, "Crown Royal (XR). Expensive stuff, eh."

"It's for my friend," Shepard explained, "His birthday is coming up."

"Lucky guy," the golden-eyed man said with a smile. "I'll be back shortly."

"So, are you really interested in Dylan, or were you just playing?" Ryan asked as he watched his golden-eyed friend disappear behind the liquor store door.

"Well, he **is** hot, and I do like older guys," Shepard admitted honestly, "But I wouldn't sleep with him. I can tell you like him."

"Well, yeah," Ryan nodded, "I **do** like him, but he isn't my boyfriend, J. I don't have a monopoly on him. I was just wondering anyway."

"Are you trying to set me up with your fuck-buddy?" The blue-eyed blonde asked in confusion. 

"What!? NO! Hell no, I think he's too old for you," Ryan admitted truthfully. 

"How old is he?" The young blonde questioned.

"Twenty. He'll be twenty-one in a couple of months," Ryan replied as he stretched his arms out over his head.

"Ryan, do you think I'm too young?" Shepard asked curiously, causing Ryan's eyes to go wide. 

"W-what?" The grey-eyed teen stuttered nervously, unsure of what he heard.

"Would you fuck me, or do you think I'm too young?" Shepard asked bluntly.

"Here you go," Dylan said as he handed the bag to his grey-eyed friend. "Call me soon, eh."

"Y-yeah, definitely," Ryan said, grateful that Dylan had interrupted the conversation. 

"Well, I have to get to work. Later, Ryan. Later, Shepard," Dylan said with a wink as he got into his car.

"Later," Ryan and Shepard said in unison as they watched the golden-eyed man take off down the street.

"Here you go, Baby Boy," Ryan said with a grin as he handed the blue-eyed boy the bag, "A gift for Aaron, just like you wanted."

"Thanks," Shepard replied as he got into the passenger's seat.

"Buckle up, eh," Ryan instructed as he pulled out of the parking lot, making his way back to Shepard's home.

"You never answered me, Ryan," Shepard reminded, causing Ryan to swallow nervously.

"I kinda hoped you'd forgotten about that," Ryan admitted.

"No need to be nervous. I won't get mad. So — just answer the question," the young blonde insisted.

"Um, I don't think it's that simple," Ryan explained, "I mean, you know you're fucking gorgeous, but…"

"'But' what?" The blue-eyed teen asked curiously.

"But I don't know if it would be a good idea. I don't think you're too young, at least not mentally. And you sure as hell don't **look** too young," Ryan admitted. "I just think Aaron would kill me if we ever fucked."

"Why is he like that?" The young blonde asked in a lamenting tone. "He gets mad if he even thinks I'm fucking around. It's like he expects me to be alone forever. But, I get lonely just like everybody else. I like having sex. I don't want to stop just because Aaron sees me as a fucking baby."

Ryan looked at his young friend sadly. "I don't think he sees you as a baby, and I think that scares the living hell out of him."

"Why? Why would it scare him?" The young blonde asked in confusion.

"I don't want to speculate," Ryan replied, not wanting to get the young blonde's hopes up. 

"You know, you are absolutely no help," Shepard informed his grey-eyed friend as he narrowed his eyes in annoyance.

”Yeah, I know," Ryan chuckled softly. 

"So, you **would** have sex with me? I'm not too young?"

"Nope, you're not too young. I'd fuck you in a heartbeat," Ryan answered truthfully, "Hell, I've actually thought about it, but Aaron's like a brother to me. I couldn't hurt him like that."

"He is pretty protective," Shepard grinned.

"Yeah, that's one way to look at it," Ryan said. 'More like jealous as fuck,' the grey-eyed teen thought to himself. "Well, we're here," Ryan announced as he parked the car.

"Yeah," the blue-eyed teen said with a sigh as he exited the car. "Can you keep Aaron's gift for me? I don't want Gina to grill me over it."

"Sure," Ryan agreed with a wink.

"Don't drink it, Walker," Shepard warned with a grin.

"I wouldn't dare," Ryan assured in a playful voice. "Love you, Baby Boy."

"Love you too, Walker," the blue-eyed boy assured. "Drive safe, yeah."

"Always," Ryan said with a wink as he made his way down the street.

**~~~☆~~~**

**Friday evening —**

"You ready to head to the party?" Ryan asked as he opened the car door for the young blonde.

"Yep," Shepard said with a smile. "You didn't drink Aaron's gift, did you?"

"No, I behaved myself," the grey-eyed teen assured as he handed the velvet bag to his blue-eyed friend.

"I reckon all of Aaron's friends will be there," the young blonde said nervously.

"Yeah," Ryan replied sympathetically, "I know how they treat you. But this is Aaron's day, so, maybe, they'll behave."

Shepard gave his grey-eyed friend a disbelieving look.

"Yeah, fat chance. I know," Ryan said, "I'll take you home anytime you want. You just have to let me know."

"Thanks, Walker," the young blonde smiled softly.

"We're here," Ryan announced as he parked the car. 

"What did you get Aaron," Shepard asked as they made their way to Aaron's apartment.

"I got him a set of three 'Old Fashioned' whisky glasses," Ryan grinned, "I knew it would be something that he could use."

"That was actually pretty smart," the blue-eyed boy teased, "How very odd for you. You must be proud."

"Yeah, yeah. Fuck you too," Ryan chuckled as he knocked on the apartment door.

"Hey, Ryan," Elise greeted as she opened the door, her expression growing sour at the sight of Shepard. "Ryan, why is **he** here?"

"Aaron invited him," Ryan informed her with a smug grin. "If you don't like it, take it up with him."

"Fine," Elise huffed, rolling her eyes at the young blonde as she let them in. "Just stay away from the guests, you hear me faggot?"

"Lay off, Elise," Ryan warned, "Aaron isn't here yet, so I'd be careful if I were you. If Shepard goes off, I ain't doing shit to help you. So, I suggest dialing the bitchiness down a notch."

"Whatever, Ryan," Elise snapped. 

"Come on, Baby Boy," Ryan said as he led Shepard to the couch. "Aaron should be here soon. So, let's just sit and wait, eh."

"Yeah," the young blonde mumbled as he took a seat next to his grey-eyed friend.

Thankfully, the two didn't have to wait long for their green-eyed friend to arrive.

"Aaron, it's about time you got here," Elise scolded as she gave him a quick kiss, wrapping her arm around her boyfriend's waist. "Happy birthday, baby."

"Thanks, babe," Aaron grinned as he looked around the crowded apartment. "I take it everyone showed up."

"Of course," Elise chuckled, "They love a good party."

"Is Ryan here?" Aaron asked as he looked around for his friend.

"Yeah, he showed up earlier with that psycho friend of yours," Elise replied in a slightly disgusted tone.

"Elise, be nice, yeah," the green-eyed teen pleaded, "J's my friend, and I really wanted him to be here. Think of it as **my** present to **me** , eh."

"Fine, but I think you'll enjoy your **real** birthday present much more," Elise purred as she gently bit the soft skin of his neck.

"Looking forward to it," Aaron grinned as he made his way over to greet his two closest friends. "Hey, guys. How long have you been waiting?"

"Not long, maybe thirty minutes or so," Ryan replied with an easy smile as he handed the green-eyed teen one neatly wrapped box. "We brought gifts."

"You didn't have to do that," Aaron smiled appreciatively. 

"I didn't know what to get, so I got you this," Shepard said as he handed the velvet bag to his beloved friend. "I hope you like it."

"Crown Royal (XR)," the green-eyed teen replied with a grin. "Expensive stuff. Thanks, J. I love it!" Aaron smiled as he hugged his blue-eyed friend tight.

"Finally, the little faggot does something right," Elise said as she took the bottle from her boyfriend's hand. "I'll go get the glasses."

"Ah, hell no," Aaron informed his obnoxious girlfriend as he quickly took the bottle back, "Nobody is touching this! It's all mine, right, J!"

"Yep," Shepard agreed with a snicker, loving the shocked look on Elise's face.

"Aaron, that's not fair," Elise whined.

"It's **my** present," the green-eyed teen explained, "So, I'm pretty sure I have full say over who gets to drink it."

"Sounds pretty fair to me," Ryan grinned.

"Oh, shut up, Walker," Elise huffed as she made her way towards the other guests.

"Ah, that was priceless," Ryan laughed as he put his arm around Shepard.

"I think it's time to get this party started," Aaron announced as he made his way towards the bedroom, "Let me just put away my gifts first, eh."

The party was loud and raucous, and Shepard felt right at home beside his two best friends.

"Okay, beer pong time," Ryan announced as he and Maddie finished setting up the cups. "Two-man teams, and I call dibs on Baby Boy!"

"Fuck you, Walker," Aaron laughed as he put his arm around the blue-eyed blonde, "It's my party, I choose first, and I say, 'J's mine'!"

" _Sigh---_ You would pull that card," Ryan chuckled as he looked towards Maddie. "You wanna be my partner, for old times' sake?"

"Sure," Maddie chuckled as she took her place beside her ex. "How good is Shepard at this game?"

"Insanely good," Ryan admitted as he retrieved the ping pong balls. "You wanna play against him?"

"Hell no," Maddie exclaimed, "I'm a lightweight, there's no way I'm risking getting drunk. He's all yours."

"I knew you'd say that," Ryan chuckled, nervously, as he shook his head.

"Hey, J," Aaron asked with a smile, "Shouldn't you put your beer down?"

"Why?" The young blonde asked in confusion.

"Well, you might have to drink a lot," the green-eyed teen explained, "I wouldn't want you to get wasted."

Shepard broke out laughing, "Ryan sucks at this game. No way am I getting drunk playing beer pong against Walker."

"If you say so, J," Aaron grinned as he admired his young friend's confidence.

The game was loud and fun — inevitably ending in victory for Aaron and Shepard.

"Damn! That was a hell of a shot, Baby Boy," Ryan admitted with a pout, "You win… as usual."

"That's my J," Aaron boasted, proudly, as he kissed the young blond on the cheek. "I fucking knew we would win!"

"Duh!" Ryan teased with a laugh, "You had a fucking ringer on your team."

"Yeah, yeah," Shepard said, rolling his eyes at his grey-eyed friend before walking towards the hall.

"Where are you going, J?" Aaron asked curiously.

"Washroom," the blue-eyed teen replied.

"Hurry back, yeah," Aaron said with a wink.

"Will do," Shepard answered with a lazy smile.

Just as the young blonde was exiting the washroom, Elias Kellam and his friend, Greg Gagnon, roughly pushed the boy back into the room.

"What the hell do you want?" Shepard asked in annoyance.

"Is it true that you like cock?" Greg asked with a snicker.

"Yeah, what's it to you?" The young blonde admitted truthfully.

"We were thinking, that — maybe — you could help us out," Elias grinned wickedly.

"What?" The blue-eyed teen asked, brow cocked in disbelief.

"You know what we mean," Greg said with a snicker.

"All you gotta do is use that pretty little mouth of yours," Elias said as he tried to push the boy to his knees.

"Fuck you! I ain't doing that," the younger teen said as he struggled against the grip of the older boys.

"Oh, yes, you are," Elias insisted as he punched Shepard hard in the stomach, causing the blue-eyed boy to fall to one knee. 

"Shit, that hurt! It's like punching a brick wall," Kellam whined as he shook his hand in pain, before kicking the young blonde hard in the stomach.

"Time to put that smart mouth to use," Elias said as he hastily unzipped his pants, exposing himself to the young blonde.

Seeing what the older boy was doing, Shepard immediately punched Elias in the crotch, before pushing his way out of the small washroom.

In a panic, the blue-eyed teen grabbed his hoodie from the couch as he hastily made his way out of the apartment.

"J! J, what's wrong?" Aaron asked as he followed his young friend in concern, "Where are you going?"

"I don't belong here, Aaron," Shepard replied anxiously, "I'm sorry, but I don't. Enjoy your party, Aaron."

"J, come back," Aaron called out, trying to get his J to stay, "J, please come back," Aaron begged as he watched his young friend disappear from sight.

"What the hell happened?" Ryan asked in confusion. "Did something happen to J?" 

"I don't know," Aaron admitted, "He wouldn't give me time to ask. He just took off, saying that he didn't belong here."

"Maybe he had an episode," Ryan said sadly, "You know how he gets. Give him time, and he'll be fine, Aaron. He always is, eh."

Aaron rubbed his face hard in frustration. "Yeah, I suppose you're right. Let's get back to the party, yeah."

"Yeah," Ryan agreed as he followed his green-eyed friend back into the apartment.

**~~~☆~~~**

_'And the evening was going so well…'_ The voice teased.

"Please, just shut up!" Shepard yelled aloud as he hit the side of his head, hard, over and over.

_'Calm down! You really need to release some of that energy before you lose your shit, and end up in the fucking hospital again,'_ the voice suggested.

"And how do you suggest I do that?" The blue-eyed boy asked in annoyance.

_'Well, you like to fuck, and you like to fight, and I don't recommend fighting. So, that only leaves one thing…'_

"I need to get laid!" The young blonde yelled as he made his way towards the nearest club.

**~~~☆~~~**

_'Are you seriously going to wait outside and hope to meet somebody?'_ The voice asked in an amused tone.

"Yeah, I could probably get in, but I don't think I'll risk the trouble," Shepard answered as he leaned against the side of the building.

"Hey, blue-eyes," a man with dark hair and light-brown eyes called out, causing the young blonde to look his way.

"Do I know you?" The young blonde asked, noticing the familiarity of the man. 

The man chuckled a bit at the boy. "We've met a few times. You've delivered packages to me before, remember?"

"Yeah, kinda," the young blonde said with a shrug.

"So, what brings you to this part of town? Delivering packages, maybe," the man asked as he came to stand beside the blue-eyed blonde.

"Nah, I'm just looking," Shepard admitted.

"Ah, I didn't realize you had those interests," the man grinned, brown eyes shining as he spoke.

"Yeah," the young blonde said with a half-smile, "I get that a lot."

The brown-eyed man chuckled as he pulled out a cigarette and placed it between his lips before lighting it. "The name's Alex."

"Shepard," the young blonde replied simply.

"I thought it was 'Johnny," Alex grinned as he took a drag of his cigarette.

"It is, but I hate that goddamn name," Shepard explained. "So, just call me Shepard, alright."

"'Shepard' it is," the dark-haired man agreed as he offered the young blonde a drag of his cigarette.

The young blonde paused for a moment, studying the man for a brief moment before taking a slow drag from the cigarette. "Appreciated," Shepard said as he handed the cigarette back to the man.

"So, are you looking for a good time, or just checking out the scenery?" Alex asked curiously.

"A good time," The young blonde admitted truthfully, "And you?"

"Well, I'm always up for a good time," Alex chuckled, licking his lips when he looked towards the young blonde. "So, are you a top or a bottom?"

"Vers," Shepard answered honestly.

"A man of many talents," Alex grinned, his light-brown eyes glittering in amusement. "A man after my own heart."

"You interested?" The young blonde asked quietly.

"Very much so," the dark-haired man admitted. 

"I'm game," Shepard agreed. 

"My apartment's close-by," Alex offered with a wink. 

"Sounds good… I ain't legal, just so you know," the blue-eyed teen warned.

"Really," the dark-haired man replied in surprise. "Might I ask your age?"

"Fourteen," Shepard answered truthfully. 

"Hn. A-are you a virgin?" Alex asked nervously.

Shepard laughed at the question. "Uh, no. Not even close."

"That's good." Alex was relieved as he passed the cigarette back to the blonde. "You certainly don't act your age. And you **really** don't look your age."

"So, you wanna fuck or not?" Shepard asked, growing impatient with the conversation. "I ain't gonna report you or anything."

"Wow, that was blunt," the dark-haired man grinned. "I enjoy a man that knows what he wants. I would like very much to fuck. Do you have a problem being with an older man?"

"Not really," the blue-eyed teen shrugged as he spoke. 

"That's good to hear. But, just so you know, I'm twenty," Alex offered with a seductive grin. "If that doesn't bother you, follow me…"

Shepard took one last drag of the cigarette before tossing it aside and following the older man.

After walking in silence for about ten minutes, Alex finally spoke.

"This is it. My apartment's on the fifth floor," the dark-haired man explained. "I think you'll find the surroundings to be quite comfortable."

"Your bed's the only thing I'm interested in," Shepard assured as he followed the man into the building.

"Boy, the things you say," Alex moaned as he rubbed a hand over his hardening sex. "I can't wait to get you alone."

**~~~☆~~~**

Once inside the apartment, Shepard was all over the older man, kissing as if he were trying to devour the man whole.

"You're a wild thing, aren't you, blue-eyes?" Alex grinned as he lifted the boy — Shepard's long legs wrapping around the older man's waist, carrying him into the bedroom.

Once they were in the bedroom, Alex lowered the young blonde onto the bed, taking the opportunity to grind himself against the young blonde's sex.

"Fuck, that feels good," Shepard moaned as he continued to grind back against Alex.

Alex laughed as he quickly removed the blue-eyed boy's shirt. "Goddamn, look at that body. And you say you're only fourteen? So fucking good," the dark-haired man whispered as he licked a path across the young blonde's chest.

Growing impatient, Shepard began tugging at the older man's shirt.

"Eager, aren't we?" Alex teased with a small laugh.

"You have no idea," Shepard admitted as he quickly removed the shirt from the dark-haired man.

The older man laughed as he quickly removed the rest of his clothing. "Like what you see?" Alex asked as the young blonde pulled his hips closer — close enough for Shepard to take him into his mouth. "Fuck! That feels so fucking good!"

The blue-eyed teen continued to work the older man with his mouth and throat, until the pressure in his pants became too much, "Fuck, I gotta take these goddamn jeans off. My dick is killing me."

Alex laughed as he helped the boy free himself from the restrictive clothing, "Hello," the dark-haired man replied, pleasantly surprised by the size of the young blonde's sex. "Very nice, blue-eyes," Alex winked as he licked the young blonde from root to tip. "Tasty."

Shepard laughed at the dark-haired man, amused by his playfulness. "Turn your body, so I can taste you too."

"Hell yeah," Alex grinned as he assumed the position, gasping, loudly, when Shepard took him deep into his throat. "Shit! You're so fucking good!"

The blue-eyed teen just hummed in approval, causing the older man to moan in ecstasy before taking the young blonde into his mouth.

Shepard moaned at the sensation, loving the dual sensations of feeling the man's sex on his tongue, and of the man's mouth on his sex.

"That's enough, blue-eyes," Alex said as he let the blonde fall from his mouth. "We don't want to cum before the main event."

"You got a condom?" Shepard asked as he lifted himself up onto his elbows. "I got one if you don't."

"Prepared… I like that," Alex grinned as he reached into his nightstand drawer retrieving a bottle of lubricant and a pack of condoms, "But I got it covered."

"Nice," Shepard grinned, pleased that the man was so well-prepared.

"How about you fuck me with that beautiful cock you got first," Alex suggested, surprising the young blonde by handing him a condom. "And I'll fuck you after."

"I'd love to," the blue-eyed blonde agreed with a fox-like grin as he placed the condom on his sex.

"I can't fucking wait to feel you inside me," Alex moaned as he slowly prepared himself. "Lie back. I'm gonna ride you, blue-eyes."

Shepard did as he was told and watched in heated anticipation as Alex sank himself slowly onto his engorged cock.

Alex moaned as he found himself fully seated with Shepard's cock throbbing deep inside of him. "I'm so fucking full — so fucking intense…"

"Feel good?" The young blonde asked as he began to move slowly inside of the man.

"Mmm… So fucking good," the dark-haired man assured as he began to move a bit faster. "I want you to fuck me hard. Don't hold back. Show me what that beautiful cock can do."

Shepard grinned wickedly, flipping the older man over, as he did just as his partner asked. The young blonde fucked the man hard and fast. Fucking the man until he was a moaning mess underneath him.

"I-I can't… I-I'm gonna cum," Alex announced as his orgasm hit him hard, causing Shepard to follow soon after.

"So good," Shepard mumbled against the hollow of the man's neck.

"Fucking amazing," Alex agreed with a chuckle. "I can honestly say that you fuck like a man, there's nothing boyish about it." 

The young blonde laughed a little at the older man's comment. "You liked it, then?"

"Fuck yes," the dark-haired man replied as his breathing began to calm.

"You still up for fucking me?" Shepard asked, still needing to scratch that itch deep within him.

"Definitely," Alex assured, "Just give me a few minutes to rest. You took a lot out of me."

Shepard just laughed as he waited for the older man to recover.

Once the older man had recovered, he made good on his promise. He fucked Shepard thoroughly, leaving him completely satisfied and utterly content.

"I need to get going," Shepard announced as he untangled himself from the older man's arms. 

"You could stay the night," Alex offered. "I don't mind."

"Nah, I gotta get home," the young blonde explained, "I don't need Gina bitching at me tomorrow."

"I understand," the older man nodded. "So, can we do this again?"

"Maybe," Shepard replied as he continued getting dressed.

"You had fun, didn't you?" 

"Yep," the young blond answered honestly, "You're a great fuck."

"Yeah, you're not so bad yourself," Alex chuckled as he pulled the young blonde in for a kiss.

"I really gotta go," Shepard insisted as he made his way towards the bedroom door. "Uh, you ain't a junkie, are you?"

Alex broke out laughing. "No, the packages you were dropping off were filled with cash, not drugs."

"You're a dealer?" The young blonde asked curiously.

"Well, yes," Alex explained, "But I only sell weed. I don't mess with that fentanyl shit."

"So, Kevin buys his weed off you?" Shepard asked.

"Exactly," Alex replied with a grin.

"See you later," the young blonde waved as he exited the bedroom, "Thanks for the sex."

"No, no… Thank **you**!" Alex praised as he watched the young blond disappear from sight. "Hope to see you soon, blue-eyes," the older man whispered as he laid back down in bed.

**~~~☆~~~**

_'Have fun?'_ The voice asked with a pleased tone.

"Yep. It was good," Shepard admitted as he continued towards home.

_'Glad to hear it! You certainly seem calmer,'_ the voice observed, _'Let's hope it lasts, eh.'_

It was two-thirty in the morning when the blue-eyed teen finally arrived home.

"Where have you been, blue-eyes?" Gina asked curiously. 

"I went to Aaron's party, remember?" Shepard reminded his foster mother.

"Aaron called earlier and said that you left early. He was checking in on you," Gina informed the young blonde. "So, where were you?"

"Getting laid," Shepard admitted truthfully, causing Gina to burst into laughter.

"You are one blunt kid," Gina said with a laugh. "She's a lucky girl. Now, go get some sleep. You have some deliveries to make tomorrow."

"I know." The blue-eyed teen answered, quietly, as he made his way to his bedroom.

Shepard plopped down on his bed, turned on his MP3 player, and tried his best to drift off to sleep.

_'What the hell's the matter with you? Get some sleep already,'_ the voice demanded.

"I'm trying, but I just can't," Shepard explained. 

_'You_ **_need_ ** _sleep — this cat-nap bullshit won't work forever,'_ the voice warned, _'Eventually, you are gonna collapse.'_

"I'm trying! What the fuck else do you want me to do!?" Shepard asked in irritation.

_'I don't know… Try harder, maybe,'_ the voice suggested.

"Fuck you! I'm trying. So, just shut the hell up, please," Shepard demanded as he tried his best to drift off to sleep.

**~~~☆~~~**

**The next day —**

"Hey, J," Aaron greeted the young blonde with a hug, "Where were you last night? You had me really worried, yeah. I tried texting you, but you never answered."

"Yeah, I'm really sorry about that. I needed to try and fix my head a little," Shepard admitted.

"I understand," Aaron smiled softly, "Just let me know you're okay next time, yeah."

Shepard just nodded at his green-eyed friend.

"I really missed you last night, J," Aaron admitted truthfully, "It just wasn't as fun without you. Are you ever going to tell me why you left like that?"

"Nothing to tell," the young blonde mumbled, wanting to forget the whole thing.

Aaron sighed deeply, "You are a stubborn one, J. Okay, I'll drop it. So, what are you doing today?"

"I've got a motorcycle to work on. It should keep me pretty busy," the blue-eyed teen replied with a yawn.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Aaron asked in concern. "You just seem so damn tired lately."

"I'm fine, Aaron," Shepard insisted. "I had a late night. I'll get some sleep tonight. I promise."

"Okay," the green-eyed teen nodded, hoping that his J was telling the truth. "I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to have a pretty busy next couple of weeks. School is going to be brutal. So, if I don't text back immediately, it's because I'm in class."

"I understand. Thanks for telling me," Shepard smiled, jumping as his watch alarm sounded.

"Time for your meds, J?" Aaron asked curiously.

"No, it's to remind me to pick up something for Kevin," Shepard explained. "I guess I better get going." 

"I can drive you wherever you need to go," Aaron offered.

"That's alright," the young blonde replied with a grateful smile, "I need to stop and fix that bike first. I don't want you to waste your day. Besides, you need to study."

"Yeah, don't remind me," Aaron groaned at the thought of studying. 

"Lazy-ass! I know you're smart enough, you're just too lazy to study," Shepard scolded with a teasing grin.

"Ouch, J," Aaron chuckled, "You can be brutal when you want to be."

"It's only because I love you so damn much," Shepard admitted with a grin.

"Aw, I love you too," the green-eyed teen said as he kissed Shepard's forehead. "Call me tonight, eh, J."

"I will," the blue-eyed boy promised. "Good luck with school."

"Thanks, J," Aaron said appreciatively. "Try to get some sleep tonight."

"Will do," Shepard said with a mock salute as he faded from Aaron's sight.

The rest of the day seemed to fly by for the young blonde, and before he knew it, it was time for sleep once again.

"Why can't I sleep?" Shepard asked in frustration. "I'm tired as fuck, but my mind won't shut down."

_'I dunno, but you better find a way soon. You can't keep this up,'_ the voice replied in a worried tone.

"I know," the blue-eyed teen said as he rubbed his face hard. "I'll figure something out. I have to."

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shepard hasn't been sleeping well and it all comes to a head in the next chapter.
> 
> I hope you are enjoying the story so far.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	18. Breakdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard's lack of sleep finally sends him into a spiral.
> 
> **This chapter contains a graphic depiction of a psychological breakdown.**

"You are a mechanical genius," an older man with salt-and-pepper hair, a beard, and pale-blue eyes, praised as he tested out his newly repaired motorcycle. 

"Glad I could help," Shepard said with a crooked smile, happy that his friend was satisfied with his work. "Do you need me to check out anything else?"

"Not right now, but I'll probably need you to take a look at a few, next week," the man explained, "I got my eye on a couple of bikes, and I'll be going out of town soon to try and strike a deal with the owner. If I'm lucky, I'll return with three vintage bikes for you to play around with."

"Seriously?" The young blonde asked, blue eyes glittering in anticipation at the thought. "Jake, you are the absolute best!"

Jake laughed in amusement at the young blonde. "I don't know about that. I just know a good mechanic when I see one. You've done work for me for well over a year now, and I've never had any trouble. Your work is always solid. How much do I owe you?"

"We agreed on $200," Shepard replied as he rubbed his left shoulder in nervous habit.

"That was before you ran into all of those tiny little issues," Jake reminded the young blonde, "I was thinking, I owe you at least $300. After all, you saved me double that amount in time and convenience."

"Are you sure? I'm fine with $200," the blue-eyed teen assured. "We agreed on that price, after all. I don't want you to feel like I didn't keep my word."

"Trust me, I'm fine with paying $300," the older man insisted as he handed the young blonde the money, "You earned it."

"Thanks. I appreciate it," Shepard said gratefully. "Just call or text whenever you need me. I guess I should head out. Enjoy the bike."

"I most certainly will," Jake replied with a grin. "See you later, Shepard."

"Later, Jake." Shepard waved as he took off towards Hastings Street.

Once Shepard had sold everything his foster father had given him — feeling uneasy about having so much money in his pocket — he decided to head home.

"You're back earlier than usual," Gina said with a raised brow. "How did you do?"

"Here," Shepard replied as he handed the young woman a wad of colourful bills. "I sold everything."

"Good boy, blue-eyes," Gina praised, pausing when she saw the young blonde placing money into his wallet. "Whoa, there, Johnny-boy. What the hell do you think you're doing? Hand it over," Gina demanded, holding her hand out towards the young blonde.

"Hand what over?" Shepard asked, confused by her demand.

Gina rolled her eyes at the boy. "Don't play dumb, blue-eyes. Hand over the cash."

Shepard gave the woman a disbelieving look. "This ain't yours. I earned this. It's mine. It ain't got nothin' to do with you."

"Yeah, right," Gina replied in disbelief, "There's no way you earned that much money playing around with motorcycles."

"Well, I'd hate to break it to you, but I did, in fact, earn that much," the young blonde informed her. "If you don't believe me, just count the money. I ain't taking your precious drug money."

"I don't give a fuck where it came from," Gina snapped, growing irritated with the blue-eyed boy. "You do as I say! Now hand it over."

"Fuck you, lady," Shepard yelled, unwilling to submit to her request. "You ain't getting **my** money."

"I said, 'hand it over'... **NOW!** " Gina demanded.

"Go to hell," the blue-eyed teen yelled as he stormed out of the house, leaving his foster mother standing alone in shock.

**~~~☆~~~**

_'Is that bitch for real? Did she really think you'd just hand her_ **_your_ ** _money?'_ The voice commented in annoyance.

"Fuck her! I'm so goddamn sick of it," Shepard fumed. "I do everything they ask of me, and they still try to take everything from me. I don't fucking understand why. What the hell am I supposed to do?"

_'Fuck 'em,'_ the voice replied, _'I think it's time you cut loose. Do whatever the fuck you want. Just for one night, be as crazy as you want to be.'_

"That's exactly, what I'm doing," Shepard announced as he ran an anxious hand through his dark-blonde hair.

_'Fuck yes! Hopefully, you'll party until you pass out. You need the fucking sleep,'_ the voice half-joked.

"Fuck sleep! I'll sleep when I'm dead," the young blonde replied.

_'Wait — what? No, you need sleep. Sleep good, dead bad — you get what I'm saying here, Shepard?'_

No response— 

_'Shepard — HELLO! Shepard, I'm talking to you,'_ the voice called out, but the young blonde would no longer respond. _'Well, shit! This ain't good. **Sigh—** T_ _his will not end well…'_

**~~~☆~~~**

For two days straight, Shepard drank, partied, and fucked nonstop — never sleeping, just constantly going, never resting.

On the second evening, Shepard found his way to Alex's apartment, knocking on the door nonstop until the dark-haired man answered.

As soon as Alex appeared in the doorway, Shepard immediately grabbed the older man, catching him in a searing kiss. The kiss was primal in nature, and Alex was more than happy to return the passion. 

Without a word, Alex led the young blonde to the bedroom, eager to have the blue-eyed blonde in his bed once more.

The sex was primal, and Alex couldn't get enough of the young blonde. They fucked for what seemed like hours. Only stopping when Alex was fully spent.

"Well, that just happened," Alex chuckled as he continued to grind against the blue-eyed teen. "You want to tell me what this was all about?"

Shepard sat up in bed, shrugging his shoulders at the older man. "I wanted to fuck."

"Obviously," Alex chuckled as he kissed the boy's naked shoulder. "Why come to me, though?"

"I was bored with the other guys," Shepard admitted truthfully, "I knew you could get me off. You're a great fuck. Best I've had. Simple."

"I'm honoured that you feel that way," Alex smirked. "I was hoping I'd see you again. I must admit, this reunion was way better than I imagined."

"You wanna fuck again?" Shepard asked suddenly.

"You go like a machine, don't you," Alex laughed. "I would love to, but I need time."

"You have until we get to my place," Shepard announced as he began to dress, tossing Alex his clothes as he went. 

"Are you serious? Kevin would lose his shit," the older man said as he shook his head in disbelief.

"Fuck the Whites," the young blonde growled as he finished with his shoes. "You coming or not?"

"Not yet, but I expect to be soon," Alex joked as he finished dressing. 

"Clever," Shepard grinned as he kissed the older man slowly.

"Your mouth is fucking irresistible," the older man said as the kiss ended.

"Yep, that's what they tell me," the blue-eyed teen grinned as he made his way to the front door. "If you're game, let's get going."

"We'll take my car," Alex said as he grabbed his jacket and keys, following the eager young blonde out of the building.

It wasn't long before they were nearing the apartment building where the Whites resided. During the drive, Alex couldn't help but notice how restless the young blonde was. He noticed how the blue-eyed boy couldn't seem to sit still, constantly bouncing his knee as he mumbled away to the music blaring through his headphones, leading the dark-haired man to think that maybe, just maybe, Shepard was high. 

"Are you tripping on me, blue-eyes," Alex asked curiously.

"Huh? Whattaya mean?" The young blonde asked in confusion.

Alex chuckled a bit as he continued to watch over this wild blue-eyed creature. "Never mind. We're here. Are you certain about this? We could always head back to my place and do it there."

"Don't be a pussy," the young blonde teased as he got out of the car and walked towards the entrance to the building.

The dark-haired man laughed as he shook his head in amusement. "You in a hurry, blue-eyes?" Alex asked as he followed the young blonde slowly.

"Pick up the pace, old man," Shepard teased as he removed his t-shirt, throwing it at the dark-haired man.

Alex chuckled as he continued to watch the teen's impromptu striptease, rushing to catch up, before the blue-eyed beauty was completely naked. "You better keep those on," the older man suggested with a grin as he slowly buttoned the boy's jeans, purposefully leaving the top button open. 

"You're no fun," the young blonde pouted before teasing the older man with a kiss.

Alex just grinned as he led the boy to the elevator. It was a quick ride, and in just a few brief minutes, they were inside the apartment, shedding clothes as they made their way to Shepard's bedroom. They had hardly even begun to get started when there was a loud knock on the bedroom door.

"Johnny, open the goddamn door," Gina yelled as she continued to pound on the door. "Why are your clothes lying all over the place? Get your ass up and pick up your mess!"

Shepard growled in frustration as the older man continued to nibble at his exposed neck. "Go away!"

"Don't you dare talk to me like that!" Gina snapped as she flung the door open in anger, her eyes going wide in shock. "What the fuck! Alex, what the hell!?"

"Hello, Gina," Alex chuckled as he pulled the young blonde even closer to his body. "We were just having a little fun."

"Having a—" The young woman repeated in disbelief. "Kevin, you better come and see this."

"What do I have to come s—" Kevin's words died on his tongue as he took in the sight of the couple before him, "What the fuck, Johnny!?"

"We were just having a little fun," Alex assured as he loosed his grip on the young blonde. "No need to get upset."

"Alex, do us both a favour, and get the hell out of my house before I lose my shit," Kevin suggested as he continued to stare at his foster son in disapproval.

"Come on, Kevin, you had to have known the kid was gay," Alex said as he began to collect his scattered clothing. "Seriously, would this even be an issue if he were straight?"

"Alex, mind your own goddamn business, and get the hell out before I call the cops," Kevin warned as the dark-haired man continued getting dressed.

" _Sigh—_ See you later, blue-eyes," Alex said as he kissed the young blonde goodbye before leaving the apartment.

"What the fuck were you thinking!?" Kevin yelled as the young blonde began to re-dress.

"Fuck you. I can have sex with whoever I want. It's **my** body, not yours," Shepard replied angrily.

"I don't give a fuck if you suck cock until you choke, but I will **not** allow it in my home," Kevin yelled. 

"Johnny, you can't bring men here, especially older men," Gina explained, "It attracts attention — attention that we **do not** need. Understand?"

"Alex of all people," Kevin scoffed in disgust, "How many other clients have you fucked?"

"None of your goddamn business," Shepard snapped as he pushed his way past Gina and continued on towards the front door.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" Kevin asked in annoyance.

"Fuck you, Kevin," the young blonde cursed as he opened the front door.

"Johnny, I swear to god if you don't stay away from Alex—" Kevin's threat was cut short by the sound of the front door slamming.

"That boy's going to be trouble," Gina said as she poured herself a glass of wine.

"I'll handle it," Kevin assured his wife, "I know how to break him. He'll behave. I guarantee it."

"I hope you're right," Gina said as she took a sip of her wine.

**~~~☆~~~**

"Fuck them," Shepard said aloud as he walked aimlessly down the street. "They can't control me. They ain't got the right."

_'Goddammit, Shepard! You need to get some fucking sleep!'_ The voice begged.

"Fuck sleep… Did you see that? What's that light? Is somebody there?" The young blonde asked as he looked down the empty alleyway. "I can see you."

_'Uh, see who? There ain't nobody there,'_ the voice tried to explain.

"Shh… You're going to scare them away," Shepard scolded the voice as he walked further into the alley. "Don't be afraid, I just wanna see you."

_'You should have never been born,'_ the shadowy figure of a woman with white-light coming from her eyes, whispered, causing the blue-eyed boy to jump in surprise.

"W-what?" The young blonde asked, disturbed by what he was seeing.

_' **You** _ **_should have never been_ ** _**born!** ' _The figure yelled in a voice so loud that it had hurt Shepard's ears. _'You were a mistake! I tried so hard to be rid of you, yet, you live. No matter what I did, you just kept growing inside me! You're a parasite! A curse upon the world. You were never meant to be! You were conceived in hate, and you were born in hate. I never wanted you. You were a curse, a sick reminder of the evil men do. I hate you! Why won't you die!?'_

"M-mom?" Shepard called out nervously as he watched the figure begin to burn before his very eyes. He could hear the horrifying screams and smell the scent of burning flesh. " **MOM** **!** I'm sorry! I didn't mean to — I didn't mean to hurt you! I'm sorry!"

_'Shepard! Calm the fuck down! There's nothing there. You're hallucinating. You need to sleep! Do you understand? SLEEP,'_ The voice tried to reach the young blonde, but to no avail. 

"Hey, kid," an older woman called out, causing the blue-eyed boy to look her way. "You okay? Do you need help or something?"

"N-no," Shepard replied shakily, as he made his way out of the alleyway, ignoring the worried lady as he passed. "I-I need to go…"

Shepard wandered around until he found himself in a familiar part of town. A place where he was known and familiar. 

_'Let's go play, Johnny-boy,'_ a female voice that Shepard didn't recognize echoed in his head, causing him to shake his head violently. _'No need for that, Johnny. I just want to make you feel good.'_

_'Who's this bitch? Look, sweetheart, there ain't enough room in here for grandiose delusions,'_ the voice explained, _'So, why don't you do us both a favour and get the hell out!'_

"Shut up! I like her. She's being nice to me," Shepard argued.

_'You have got to be fucking kidding me!'_ The voice complained as Shepard continued to ignore him.

"Shepard! Long time, no see," a young man with light blonde hair and green eyes called out, rushing to the blue-eyed teen's side. "You looking to party?"

"Yeah… I think so," Shepard said in uncertainty, "I guess I am."

"You're fucking hilarious!" The young man chuckled as he took a drag from his cigarette. "If you're looking for a good time, I'm game. Hell, we can do it in the alley if you want."

_'Don't you fucking dare!'_ The voice demanded.

_'It's alright, Shepard. You don't have to listen to him. It'll make you feel so much better,'_ the female voice insisted, _'You_ **_do_ ** _want to feel better, don't you, Johnny?'_

_'Bitch, I will fucking_ **_END_ ** _you!'_ The voice threatened, becoming increasingly more anxious by the second.

"I wanna feel better," Shepard said aloud. 

"Honey, I can make you feel all kinds of better," the green-eyed blonde said, seductively, as he put his arm around the blue-eyed blonde.

Shepard just nodded as he allowed himself to be led into the alley. The encounter was quick and dirty, leaving the young blonde feeling empty and confused.

_'You are such a whore,'_ the female voice chided the blue-eyed teen mercilessly. _'How many men have you been with, in just these past few days? How many have you taken inside of you? But I do suppose it’s fitting. Especially since it’s the_ **_only_ ** _thing that you're good for.'_

"But, you said—"

_'Pathetic! I never twisted your arm,'_ the female voice chuckled, _'Don't blame me for your disgusting behaviour. No wonder no one wants you.'_

"Shut up, shut up, shut up, **SHUT UP**!" Shepard yelled, hitting the side of his head with his fist until he accidentally bumped into a would-be club goer.

"Hey, dude, what's your problem, eh?" The young man asked as he shoved the young blonde hard.

"W-what?" Shepard asked, not realizing that he had accidentally bumped into the man.

"What do you mean, 'what'?" The young man asked, growing impatient with the young blonde.

"P-please, don't push me," the blue-eyed boy pleaded, growing increasingly frustrated.

"What are you going to do about it, faggot?" The angry young man asked in disgust.

_'You shouldn't have to put up with this. You know you want to hit him,'_ a distinctly male voice called out to Shepard.

"D-do I know you?" Shepard asked the voice, causing the man before him to give him a confused look.

"The fuck… NO, you don't fucking know me," the stranger said in annoyance, as he pushed the young blonde even harder.

_'It doesn't matter. Just do as I say. You know he deserves it,'_ the unknown voice goaded the blue-eyed teen. _'He keeps pushing you for no reason. Isn't it time for you to push back?'_

_'Shepard, you have to listen to me,'_ the voice insisted, _'You need to walk away and find somewhere to sleep. Go to Aaron's if you have to. Just do something. You ain't yourself. Please, just listen…'_

"Sleep… I wanna sleep," Shepard whispered as he swayed a little on his feet.

"What the fuck?" The young man questioned in confusion as Shepard accidentally stumbled into him. "Get the fuck off me!" The young stranger exclaimed as he punched the blue-eyed teen in the mouth, hard enough to draw blood.

Shepard was on him in an instant, beating the young man savagely, much to the delight of the strange new voices now occupying his head.

"H-hey, dude, get the hell off him," a man called out, breaking Shepard free from his bloodlust. "I'm calling the cops!"

"W-what? Why?" The blue-eyed teen looked down at his bloodied and bruised knuckles before looking at the battered man. "Did I…"

In a panic, Shepard ran as fast as he could in the direction of East Cordova Street.

_'You need to sleep!'_ The voice insisted.

_'Don't listen to him,'_ yet another female voice called out, _'He doesn't care about you. He never did.'_

_'Oy, bitch, shut the hell up!'_ The voice snapped. _'It's time to sleep, Shepard. 'Cause there ain't enough room in your goddamn head for all this trash! And the longer you stay awake, the worse it's gonna get._ ** _So, go the fuck to bed_** _!'_

"Shut up, please, shut up," Shepard begged for silence, pulling his hood over his head as he continued on.

_'You should have never been born,'_ the dark figure with the white-light eyes called out, causing Shepard to look its way.

"I-I'm sorry," Shepard whispered as he began running down the street. Somehow, through all of his confusion, the blue-eyed blonde found himself outside of Aaron's apartment.

**~~~☆~~~**

**KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK — KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK —**

"Aaron, please, answer the door," Shepard called out in a panic. "I need you, Aaron, please…"

Just as the young blonde was about to knock once more, the green-eyed teen finally answered.

"J? J, what's wrong?" Aaron asked in a concerned tone, noticing the dishevelled state of his young friend.

"Something's wrong, Aaron. They won't leave me alone," Shepard explained nervously. "The lady with light… My mom hates me. She wants me dead."

"What? Did Gina do something to you, J?" Aaron asked, trying desperately to understand his manic friend.

"NO! My **real** mom," the young blonde insisted. 

"Your 'real' mom…" Aaron repeated in confusion as he led the blue-eyed boy into the apartment.

"Aaron, who is—" Elise asked, her words freezing in her throat at the sight of the young blonde. "What the fuck is he doing here?"

Shepard's eyes grew wide as he quickly backed away from the young bottle-blonde. "She's a demon, Aaron!" The blue-eyed teen screamed as he tried to distance himself from the young woman.

"What?" Aaron and Elise asked in unison, confused by the young blonde's behaviour.

"Can't you see it, Aaron!?" Shepard exclaimed. "She has horns and razor teeth. She wants me dead!"

Elise broke out into a fit of laughter. "Oh, this is too good. Your precious little J's a goddamn junkie. He's high as fuck!"

"J doesn't do drugs, Elise," Aaron insisted in a firm tone.

"If he isn't high, then he's fucking crazy," Elise snickered.

"It's not funny, Elise," Aaron scolded angrily, "Can't you see he's really sick? Have a little sympathy, eh."

"Sympathy for the devil? No, thank you," Elise scoffed, disgusted by the suggestion.

Elise pretended to lunge at the young blonde, causing him to scream and back even further away.

"Don't let her touch me, Aaron!" Shepard screamed.

"Hahahaha— That is too fucking funny!" Elise laughed, reveling in her psychological torture of the young blonde.

"Stop it, Elise," Aaron demanded. "Jesus. If you can't do any better than that, then get the fuck out."

"Oh, lighten up, baby," Elise grinned. "Once the drugs wear off, he'll return to being the same annoying little faggot he always was."

"Elise, go home," Aaron said as he handed her jacket to her for emphasis.

"Are you seriously kicking me out?" Elise asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, I seriously am," Aaron replied sternly. "My friend needs help, and you obviously don't care, so I think it's time you left, eh."

"Fine," Elise snapped as she stomped her way to the door. "This isn't the end of it, Aaron. We are going to have a long conversation about your priorities. **I** should come first, **me** , not him. You think about that, Aaron."

"Just go, Elise," Aaron instructed as he quickly shut the door behind her. "It's okay, J. The demon's gone."

Shepard nodded as he nervously made his way to the couch.

"What's this about your 'real' mom? Have you met her, J?" Aaron asked curiously.

"Her eyes, they're like this blinding white, and she caught fire, Aaron. She burned up right in front of me, but I couldn't stop it. I couldn't help her, Aaron," Shepard tried to explain, talking so fast that it was difficult for the green-eyed teen to keep up. "Now she's following me, Aaron. I don't know what to do."

"J, have you taken anything today?" Aaron asked gently, not wanting to upset his blue-eyed friend. "I won't be mad if you did. I promise I won't. I just need to know, J. Did you take anything?"

Shepard was shaking his head vehemently. "I wouldn't."

Aaron sighed heavily. "I believe you, J."

"I know. I made her mad. The demon's gonna take it out on Aaron," Shepard said aloud as he rose from the couch and moved towards the hallway.

"J, calm down," the green-eyed teen pleaded. "Elise isn't going to do anything to me. I promise."

"I'm sorry, Aaron. I'm so sorry," Shepard said sincerely.

"I know. It's okay, J," Aaron insisted. "Tell me what's going on, eh."

"I'm tired, Aaron," Shepard answered honestly, "I just wanna sleep."

"Sleep?" The green-eyed teen asked curiously. "Have you not been sleeping well, J?"

Shepard started banging his head hard against the wall, causing Aaron to rush to his side. "I just wanna sleep," the blue-eyed blonde cried.

"Stop that, J," Aaron demanded as he took Shepard's head in his hands. "If you need to sleep, you can sleep here. Okay, J."

Shepard nodded, causing Aaron to see the blood on his young friend's mouth. Removing the hood from the young blonde's head, the green-eyed teen got a better look at his young friend.

'Jeez, J, what the hell happened to you?' Aaron thought as he examined the young boy's face. Shepard's lip was split and slightly swollen, and his eyes had a sunken, hollow appearance to them. The dark circles, making the young blonde appear much older than he actually was. To put it simply, Shepard just looked plain sick.

"Did you get in a fight, J?" Aaron asked softly, taking note of the confused look on his J's face.

"I don't… I don't know. I don't remember. I'm sorry, Aaron," Shepard began to panic, and Aaron immediately tried to calm him.

"Shh… It's okay. It doesn't matter," the green-eyed teen assured the confused blonde, "It's not important, J."

"I'm so tired…" the young blonde whispered.

"Come on, J," Aaron said as he led his J towards the bedroom. "You can sleep here tonight, yeah."

Shepard never said a word. He just allowed Aaron to lead him to bed.

"Try to get some sleep, J," Aaron instructed as he kissed the blue-eyed boy gently on the forehead. "I love you, yeah."

Once Aaron was certain that Shepard was calm enough, he left the room, closing the door gently behind himself.

**_Whisper— Whisper— Whisper—_ **

"Shut up… Please — I just wanna sleep!" Shepard groaned as he jumped from the bed and began pacing the room like a caged animal.

**~~~☆~~~**

Aaron was studying in the front room when he heard a loud banging. Immediately thinking the worst, he quickly made his way to the bedroom where his J had been sleeping.

"SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP!" Shepard screamed as he continued to punch the wall violently.

"Jesus, J!" Aaron called out as he rushed to try to stop his friend from further hurting himself, "J, baby, calm down. It's Aaron, baby. Calm down…"

No matter how much Aaron called out, Shepard seemed unable to hear. 

In a panic, and desperate to help his blue-eyed friend, Aaron attempted to grab onto Shepard from behind. Just as the green-eyed teen got a firm grip, the young blonde's elbow came up — hitting Aaron square in the jaw — rattling him in the process.

"Goddamn, J," Aaron said as he worked his freshly bruised jaw. "Work with me here, please," Aaron begged as he attempted to hold the young blonde once again.

Having more success than the last time, Aaron was finally able to push Shepard onto the bed and subdue the struggling blonde from behind. Not knowing what else to do, Aaron just held the blue-eyed boy tight until he slowly began to tire.

"I just wanna sleep," Shepard cried as the tears ran down his tired face. "I wanna sleep, but they just won't let me. I try so hard…"

"Who?" Aaron asked in a concerned voice, "Who won't let you sleep, baby?"

"They're so loud!" The young blonde screamed in agony, "Can't you hear them, Aaron!?"

"J, baby," Aaron answered in confusion, "There's no one here. You understand. There's no one here. It's just you and me, baby."

"No, Aaron, they're here," Shepard insisted. "They're so loud! You're just not listening!"

The young blonde continued to struggle, his breathing becoming very erratic, causing Aaron to panic even more.

"J, baby," the green-eyed boy pleaded as he gently stroked the young blonde's sweat-soaked hair, "I need you to breathe for me. Your heart is pounding, J. I need you to calm down. So, can you breathe for me, baby — please, J."

Shepard tried to do as he was told, and after a while, he seemed to calm a bit as he began to sob into the mattress. 

"Shh… It's okay, baby," Aaron whispered as he continued to stroke the teen's dark-blonde hair. "It's going to be okay, J."

A few minutes later, Shepard's breathing seemed to calm, allowing Aaron a moment of reprieve. "I'll be right back, baby," Aaron whispered as he kissed his J softly on the temple before returning to the living room.

Aaron picked up his psychology book and quickly skimmed through, looking for a specific passage. Once he found it, he quickly used his laptop to do a quick search.

"Shit," Aaron sighed as he rubbed his face hard with his right hand before taking out his cell phone and dialing 911.

"911, what's your emergency?" The emergency operator asked.

"Um, yeah, I think my friend might be experiencing a psychotic break," Aaron replied honestly.

"Can you tell me his symptoms?" The operator asked.

"Yeah, he's hallucinating pretty heavily, and he can't sleep," Aaron explained, "He's also lashing out. I'm afraid he's going to injure himself if he doesn't get help."

"How old is your friend?" The operator asked.

"He's fourteen," Aaron answered truthfully.

"Has your friend taken any drugs?"

"No, not that I know of," the green-eyed teen answered honestly, "I asked, and he insisted that he hadn't."

"Does he have a history of drug use or mental illness?" 

"Y-yeah, he has mental issues, no drugs, though," Aaron answered nervously.

About that time, Shepard screamed a horrifying scream from the top of his lungs, causing Aaron to jump. "Jesus! Look, you need to hurry and send someone," Aaron demanded, fearing greatly for his beloved J. 

"The address, please," the operator requested.

"6309 East Cordova, Apartment 302. Tell them the door is unlocked," Aaron informed them as he unlocked the apartment door, "Please hurry!"

Aaron immediately returned to his J, only to find the young blonde punching the headboard hard enough to cause his knuckles to bleed.

"I'm trying! They just won't let me sleep," Shepard screamed as he continued to punch the headboard, "Please, don't yell at me!"

"Baby, stop," Aaron begged, hoping that his J could hear him. "You're hurting yourself, baby. Please, stop!"

Realizing that his beloved friend was lost and unable to hear him, Aaron subdued the young blonde once again. Holding the blue-eyed teen tight until the EMTs arrived.

**~~~☆~~~**

"EMTs here. We got a call about a possible psychotic break," one of the EMTs called out, announcing their arrival.

"In here," Aaron called out as he continued to hold tight to his beloved friend, even as Shepard continued to thrash about on the bed, screaming in agony.

"I am pretty sure that he's in the middle of a psychotic break," the green-eyed teen explained as he continued to struggle with the manic boy. "I don't think he's been sleeping very well. In fact, I don't think he's slept in days. He's extremely tired."

The EMT attempted to reach out to the young blonde, trying his best to calm him. "We're here to help," the EMT insisted, "You don't have to be frightened."

"Don't touch me!" Shepard screamed, "If you touch me, I'll fucking kill you!"

The EMT immediately backed off, looking to his older, more experienced partner for assistance.

"Has he taken anything? Does he have a history of drug use?" The senior EMT asked.

"There's no way," Aaron insisted, "He doesn't use drugs."

"Can you ask him for us?" The younger EMT requested. "We have to know for sure."

Aaron rolled his eyes at the two men but did as he was asked. "J, baby, I need you to listen to me," Aaron whispered softly into the young blonde's ear, "I need you to tell me if you're on anything. It's okay if you are, J. I won't be mad. I just need to know, so I can help you feel better, baby."

Shepard shook his head slowly. "No, Aaron. You know I wouldn't."

"I know, J," Aaron whispered as he kissed the blue-eyed teen on the temple. "I believe you, baby. But I had to ask, yeah."

Aaron looked at the EMTs in annoyance. "Is there anything else you want to know, now that I have his attention?"

"We need to know when he stopped sleeping. An exact date would be preferable," the older EMT said.

"J, baby, I need to know when you last slept," Aaron asked softly. "I need to know what day it was. Can you answer that for me, J?"

Aaron could tell that Shepard was struggling hard to remember, and it broke his heart to watch.

"I don't know… I— what day is it, Aaron?" The young blonde asked in confusion.

"It's Thursday, baby," Aaron answered truthfully.

Shepard looked utterly lost as he shook his head in disbelief. "No… It's Saturday…"

"No, baby, it's Thursday," Aaron reassured the blue-eyed blonde gently.

"I-it's not Saturday?" Shepard asked as he began to hit the side of his head hard with his fist. "Stupid! I'm so stupid!"

Aaron quickly grabbed Shepard's hand, "No, baby, you're not stupid. You're just confused."

Aaron turned his attention to the EMTs. "I'm pretty sure he hasn't slept at all since Saturday. He needs help. So, please, help him."

"We'll need you to give us some room, so we can secure him for transport," the senior EMT explained.

"I'm afraid to let him go," Aaron admitted nervously.

"I understand that, but we really need you to let him go," the younger EMT insisted.

"Please, don't hurt him," Aaron pleaded as he slowly released his grip on the young blonde.

"We won't hurt him," the senior EMT assured as he motioned for his young partner to come closer to the manic blonde. "Can you talk to him? Try to keep him calm for us."

"J, it's okay. Let them help you, yeah," Aaron instructed, hoping his J would listen. "They're not going to hurt you. I promise, baby."

The second the young EMT touched Shepard's shoulder, the young blonde punched the young man right in the mouth, busting the EMT's lip wide open.

"Shit," the young man cursed as he backed away from the combative teen. "I think we're going to have to restrain and sedate him."

"We have a uniformed officer with us. We're going to call him in and have him assist us with the restraints," the senior EMT explained, "Now, it's going to look a lot worse than it actually is. So, please, don't panic."

Aaron had tears in his eyes at the thought of his J being physically restrained. "D-do you really have to do that to him?"

"I'm sorry, but, yes. He's just too combative," the man explained as he called for the officer's assistance.

"I'll hold him from behind while you sedate him," the officer instructed as he made his way towards the young blonde. 

Aaron cried as he watched his J struggle violently against the uniformed officer. "J, baby, please," the green-eyed teen begged, his heart breaking as Shepard screamed in agony. "Please, let me hold him. He'll keep still for me."

"We can't allow that," the younger EMT said sadly, "I know it looks awful, but it is necessary."

"This kid's heart is beating out of his chest," the officer informed the EMTs as he finally managed to get his arm firmly around the blue-eyed boy's upper chest, only to have Shepard bite him hard on the forearm. "Ah! Goddammit, that hurts! Hurry up and sedate him for chrissakes! He's drawing blood here!"

The senior EMT quickly administered the much-needed sedative, and within a few minutes, the young blonde loosed his jaw from the officer's forearm.

"We can safely restrain him now," the senior EMT ordered as Aaron looked on in concern. "We'll take care of that bite in just a minute."

"I appreciate it," the officer said as he continued to assist the EMTs.

Once Shepard was restrained, the EMTs were ready to transport the young blonde. "We're taking him to Vancouver General," the young EMT informed the green-eyed teen.

"Can I go with him," Aaron asked quietly, as he stroked his friend's dark-blonde hair.

"Sure," the senior EMT agreed. "We'll need the phone number of a legal parent or guardian."

"I-I can call them if you'd like me to," Aaron offered as he took his cell from his pocket.

"That's fine," the younger EMT nodded as he continued to check Shepard's vitals.

Aaron called the Whites and told them the situation. Gina promised that they would be there as soon as possible. He was furious to find that the couple's 'as soon as possible' actually meant the next day.

**~~~☆~~~**

"Thanks for watching over him," Gina smiled as she took a seat beside Shepard's bedside. "We appreciate it."

"I don't mind taking care of J," Aaron admitted truthfully, as he watched over his sleeping friend.

"You're a good kid," Gina smiled. "Do they know what's wrong with him?"

"They're not 100% certain, they haven’t tested him yet, but they think he might have schizoaffective disorder," Aaron explained, "He'll have to take his medicine. You have to make sure he takes it."

"He's so stubborn about it," the young woman replied.

"I don't give a damn how stubborn he is. **He has to take it.** Do you understand?" Aaron asked in a demanding tone.

"O-of course," Gina answered, feeling a bit uncomfortable at the green-eyed teen's tone.

"He'll be in the hospital for a while," Aaron said sadly, "The doctor will be here soon. He'll tell you everything you need to know."

"I see," Gina said in annoyance, "It's obvious that you don't want me here. So, I'll wait for the doctor in the waiting room."

"It's Smith," Aaron called out, causing the young woman to look back in confusion. "His doctor's name… It's Doctor Michael Smith — if you even care."

Gina narrowed her eyes at the impudent green-eyed boy before storming off, leaving the two boys alone.

"It's going to be okay, J," Aaron whispered as he kissed the sleeping boy gently on the forehead. "I'm going to be right here, yeah. You won't be alone."

Aaron stayed by Shepard's side for as long as he could — making sure that his friend was okay before returning to his studies, never once forgetting to call and check on the boy — waiting patiently for his J's release from the hospital.

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried my best to express the terrifying experience of a psychological break. It was a bit tough to write, but I hope I was able to express Shepard's mental state in a way in which the reader could understand his pain.
> 
> Suggestions are welcome. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	19. Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard finally returns home, just as Ryan gets offered a job in the CHL. Ryan tries to get Aaron to admit his feelings.

For two months, Shepard underwent extensive therapy, and with a great deal of trial-and-error, the doctors were finally able to find a medication regimen that seemed to work well for the young blonde. When the time came to return to the outside world, the blue-eyed teen couldn't have been more eager.

"I would like to, eventually, have him change to a monthly depot shot. His history of medication avoidance makes it more ideal, but we're going to hold off on that for a bit," Doctor Smith explained, "Until then, we'll continue with the oral medication. Aside from his psych meds, he is to continue taking his anti-seizure medication. That's important. I have also prescribed some sleep medication. He's only to take those when he has trouble sleeping, not every night. I don't want him to become dependent on them."

"I understand," Gina replied with a halfhearted smile. "I'll make sure he takes them."

"I can't stress enough the importance of his medication," Doctor Smith said in a firm tone. "Without it, he risks the chance of relapse."

"Yes, you've made that abundantly clear," the young woman replied in annoyance. "I assure you, he will get his medication."

"Very well then," the doctor said as he handed an appointment card to the young woman. "I've scheduled a follow-up appointment for next month."

"He'll be here," Gina assured as she turned to exit the office. "He's ready to go, right?"

"Yes, I'll take you to him," Doctor Smith offered as he led the woman further down the hall to Shepard's room.

"Shepard," the doctor called out, causing the young blonde to turn his head. "Your foster mother's here. You're free to go."

"Thank god," the blue-eyed teen said as he collected his things to leave.

"Remember to take your medication, and I'll see you again in exactly one month," Doctor Smith informed him with a smile.

"I will," Shepard assured as he pulled his hood over his head.

"You ready to go home, blue-eyes?" Gina asked as she quickly glanced at her watch.

"I guess," Shepard answered quietly, as he followed his foster mother to the car.

"Buckle up," the young woman instructed as she took her place in the driver's seat.

"Thanks for picking me up," the young blonde said appreciatively. 

"Don't thank me," Gina chuckled, "Kevin's still hella pissed at you. You cost us a lot of money, blue-eyes."

Shepard just rolled his eyes as he leaned his head against the car window.

_'You go through all that hell, and all these assholes care about is that you weren't there to sell their precious dope,'_ the voice fumed, _'Fucking disgusting!'_

'They're horrible people,' Shepard agreed silently.

"Are you cured of your crazy, or are you going to continue to be a problem?" Gina asked with a halfhearted smile.

"There ain't no cure," the blue-eyed teen mumbled.

"Speak up, Johnny-boy," the young woman instructed.

"I said, there ain't no cure," Shepard repeated loudly, "All I can do is try to manage. I can't promise it won't happen again. If you can't handle the fact that I'm broken, just send me back."

"You'd like that, wouldn't you," Gina chuckled as she pulled into the parking lot. "Listen, blue-eyes, no matter how much you bitch, you're stuck with us until Kevin says otherwise. So, suck it up, and do as you're told."

Shepard just stared at his foster mother with a look of disdain.

"Don't just sit there like an idiot," the young woman scolded. "Get your shit and let's go."

"Bitch," the young blonde mumbled as he got his bag and made his way into the apartment building.

**~~~☆~~~**

"Welcome back, Johnny boy," Kevin called out as he motioned the young blonde over. "How are you feeling? Everything good?"

"I guess," Shepard shrugged, rubbing his right shoulder as he spoke.

"I know you're probably tired and want to take it easy for a bit," the older man explained, "But, I can't stress enough how important it is for you to start working again. So, I'm sending you to Hastings. I have a delivery for you. You can sell while you're there. Whattaya say, blue-eyes?"

_'No rest for the wicked, eh,'_ the voice said bitterly.

"Apparently," the young blonde whispered.

"What?" Kevin asked in confusion.

"Nothing. I wasn't talking to you," Shepard replied truthfully.

"Weren't they supposed to fix that shit?" Kevin snickered.

"It ain't the same thing," the young blonde answered in mild annoyance. "It's not important. Just give me the stuff, so I can be on my way."

"Excellent! I love how eager you are," Kevin laughed as he handed the boy the bag.

"It ain't like that. I still fucking hate you and everything you do," Shepard replied honestly, "I just want to get the hell outta this goddamn apartment."

Kevin laughed in amusement. "I love this fucking kid! He's as ballsy as they come."

"That's for sure. He'd better watch, though," Gina warned, "All that bravado might get him into trouble one day."

Shepard rolled his sapphire eyes as he turned to exit the room. "If I'm not back before dark, don't wait up. I'll be back whenever I'm done."

"Bold as brass," Kevin grinned as he watched the boy leave the apartment.

**~~~☆~~~**

'I hate this,' the young blonde thought as he made his way to Hastings. 

_'Yeah, I know,'_ the voice said sympathetically. _'There ain't a helluva lot you can do about it. Just do what you gotta do.'_

"Yeah, keep going until I break again," Shepard sighed. 

_'Yeah, let's not let it get that bad,'_ the voice suggested. _'There ain't enough room in here, know what I'm saying?'_

"Yeah, sorry about that," Shepard apologized, "I'll try not to let it get that bad."

_'Well, it wasn't your fault,'_ the voice explained, _'I don't think you had much control over it.'_

"This is the address on the package," the blue-eyed teen said as he glanced around the crowded area. "I guess I'll just wait for someone to come."

_'You gonna sell while you wait?'_ The voice asked curiously. _'You could probably sell it all with this big of a crowd. It's like a junkie parade or something.'_

"I might as well," Shepard replied aloud, not caring if he was heard or not. "Hopefully, I can get rid of it all fast enough to drop by Alex's place."

_'Ah, looking to scratch that itch, Johnny-boy,'_ the voice teased.

"Please don't call me that," the blue-eyed teen pleaded, "You know I hate that fucking name. But, yeah, I really need to get laid."

_'Of course, you do,'_ the voice snickered as an average-sized man appeared before Shepard.

"Are you J-Johnny?" The man asked nervously.

"Why do you want to know?" Shepard asked cautiously.

"Kevin said you had something for me," the man replied, licking his lips as he continued to stare at the young blonde.

"You got the money?" The young blonde asked, eager to be done with the exchange.

"Yep, right here," the man answered, handing Shepard an envelope of money.

Noticing the unusual thickness of the envelope, Shepard decided to count the money inside. "Wait, I think you gave me too much," the young blonde informed the man.

_'What the hell are you doing?'_ The voice snickered in amusement. _'An honest drug dealer… You're the strangest idiot ever.'_

"Huh, really?" The man asked with a surprised grin, "This is an even better deal than I thought!"

"What?" The young blonde asked in confusion as the man grabbed his arm and began to drag him along. "What the hell are you doing!? Let go of me, you fucking creep," Shepard demanded as he quickly pulled away from the man.

"Feisty! I like that," the man chuckled with a wink. "So, where do you want to do this? I got a place nearby, but if you prefer a hotel, we can do that instead."

_'This sounds bad. This sounds very, very bad,'_ the voice said anxiously.

"What the hell are you talking about? Why the hell would I go anywhere with you?" Shepard asked angrily, dreading the reply, but already knowing the answer.

"Didn't Kevin tell you? You're mine for the night," the man informed the boy with a wicked grin. 

"Fuck that! I ain't no goddamn whore," Shepard yelled in anger. 

"I paid good for you, you little slut," the man growled as he gripped the young teen's arm hard. "Now, play nice, and do your motherfucking job!'

"This ain't my motherfucking job, you wasted cunt," the blue-eyed blonde snapped as he freed himself from the irritated man's grip. "Here's your goddamn money," Shepard said as he handed the extra cash to the angry man.

"Kevin's going to hear about this," the man threatened as he turned to leave.

"Oh, you can bet your ass Kevin's gonna hear about this," the blue-eyed teen shouted as he made his way towards Alex's apartment.

'Un-fucking-believable! Did that son-of-a-bitch really think that I would be okay with this shit?' Shepard thought, angrily, as he kicked a trash can hard in passing.

_'Maybe he thought he could take advantage of your craziness,'_ the voice suggested, _'It's a dick-move either way.'_

"I should have expected it. Hell, I kinda **did** expect it," the young blonde admitted truthfully. "Doesn't make me any less pissed."

_'Are you sure you want to see Alex? I mean, are you in the right mindset for that?'_ The voice asked in concern.

"I don't give a fuck! I just need to get laid," Shepard replied as he continued towards the older man's apartment. "I'll deal with the other bullshit later."

It didn't take much longer for Shepard to arrive outside Alex's door.

**~~~☆~~~**

**KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK —**

Shepard waited patiently for the dark-haired man to open the door.

"Well, isn't this a pleasant surprise," Alex grinned, his light-brown eyes shining as he led Shepard into the apartment. "Where have you been, blue-eyes? I thought you'd forgotten about me."

"Gina didn't tell you," the young blonde asked. 

"That bitch never tells me anything," the older man replied with a touch of bitterness, "I asked about you, and all she said was, 'You'll have to find someone else to fuck for a while.' — wouldn't tell me shit."

"Sounds like Gina," the blue-eyed teen said as he took off his hoodie and placed it on the back of the couch.

"So, where **have** you been?" Alex asked as he brushed a stray lock of dark-blonde hair from Shepard's sapphire-blue eyes. 

"Uh… hospital," the young blonde answered anxiously, unsure as to what the older man would think. 

"Hospital!? Are you all right? Did that son-of-a-bitch hurt you?" Alex asked, growing more upset by the second. "I fucking knew I should have stayed that night!"

Shepard laughed softly, amused by the older man's reaction. "Kevin didn't touch me. I, um, I kinda had a bit of a breakdown. But I'm fine now, really."

"Oh… That explains the manic behaviour," Alex replied, "Don't take this the wrong way, but I thought you were high as fuck."

"Nah, I don't do drugs," the young blonde answered quietly, "I can see why you'd think that, though."

"Well, I'm just glad to see you," the dark-haired man assured as he kissed the young blonde slowly. "I've missed you, blue-eyes."

"I've missed you too," Shepard grinned as he began to kiss his way down the older man's neck.

"Mmm… I can tell," Alex chuckled as he led the boy towards the bedroom, "Let me show you just how much I've missed you…"

They took their time and enjoyed each other for several hours — often taking turns with one another. The sex was intense, and Shepard was left feeling extremely satisfied.

"That was fucking unbelievable," the young blonde admitted as he struggled to catch his breath. 

"Mmm… It was the best," Alex grinned as he lit a joint. "I just can't believe that the best sex I've ever had has been with a fourteen-year-old. I'm going to hell for sure."

Shepard laughed a little at the older man's words. "I ain't a normal fourteen-year-old. Besides, I'm going to be fifteen in two months."

"Well, you definitely aren't a normal fourteen-year-old," Alex chuckled, "But I love that about you. If you looked and acted anything like a normal fourteen-year-old, I would have never picked you up. I'm not into kids, but you are anything but a kid. Anyway, was it good for you?"

"Always. You're the best fuck I've ever had," the blue-eyed blonde admitted truthfully, as he kissed the older man languidly for emphasis.

"Mmm… I love your mouth," Alex moaned as he held Shepard's chin and blew some of the marijuana smoke into the young blonde's mouth.

"That's some pretty good weed," the young blonde said as he blew the smoke out of his nose.

"Want a hit?" The dark-haired man asked as he offered the young blonde the joint.

Shepard took the joint and took his hit. "That's really good. I ain't as pissed as I was."

"What are you pissed about?" Alex asked as he took another drag. 

"Kevin tried to sell me to make up for his lack of income the last couple months," the young blonde admitted as he took another drag.

"Are you serious?" Alex asked in a disgusted tone, "That man really is the scum of the earth."

"Yep," Shepard agreed as he stretched his arms over his head. "What time is it?"

Alex finished off the joint as he turned the bedside clock towards the young blonde. "Two in the morning. Why don't you just spend the night? I'd love to have you, blue-eyes. We can play around some more, or we can just sleep. It's totally up to you."

"You really don't mind?" The blue-eyed teen asked, not wanting to intrude on the older man's life. "I can go, I mean, you don't have to—" Shepard's words were cut short when the older man caught the boy in a searing kiss.

"I **want** you here, blue-eyes," Alex insisted. "You could never be an unwanted intrusion. So, please, stay."

"Alright," the young blonde agreed with a smile. "I'll stay."

"Good," the dark-haired man said with a satisfied grin.

The two fucked once more before finally calling it a night. Alex ended up holding the young blonde close throughout the night, and that's exactly how the dark-haired man found himself the next morning— 

**~~~☆~~~**

**_BEEP— BEEP— BEEP—_ **

"Mmm…" the older man groaned as he hit the alarm, turning to look at the blonde beauty currently lying in his bed. "So beautiful… like a dream," Alex whispered as he kissed the boy gently on the temple, causing Shepard to stir.

"Morning, beautiful," the older man smiled as he kissed the teen slowly.

"Morning," Shepard replied lazily, "Sorry about the morning breath."

"I don't mind if you don't," Alex chuckled as he kissed the boy once more to prove his point.

"I don't mind," the young blonde replied with a grin. "I should probably head out."

"You want to take a shower first, maybe brush your teeth," the older man offered as he kissed the teen gently on the neck.

"I'd like that," Shepard agreed with a moan.

"Just give me five minutes to brush my teeth, and the washroom's all yours," Alex assured as he made his way to the washroom.

"Nice ass," the young blonde called out as he watched the older man retreat into the washroom.

"Why, thank you," Alex called out with a hearty laugh from the washroom.

_'Have fun last night, Shepard?'_ The voice asked in amusement.

"Hell, yes, I did," the young blonde admitted with a smile. "He's such a great fuck. And it didn't take him long to learn my body — he knows, exactly, how to get me off."

_'You in love with the guy, Shepard?'_ The voice asked curiously.

"Hell no. I mean, I might be in love with his sex, but not with him," Shepard explained, "Besides, I love Aaron more than anything in the world. That ain't about to change anytime soon."

"The washroom is all yours," Alex announced as he began searching through his closet. "I put out a new toothbrush for you. It's on the sink."

"Thanks," Shepard said as he made his way into the washroom.

"I wonder if I could get him to stay over more often," Alex mused as he picked out his clothing for the day.

"Yo, Alex," Shepard called from the doorway of the washroom, "How do you feel about sex in the shower?"

"You really have to ask," Alex grinned as he quickly joined his young friend in the washroom.

"I was hoping you'd feel that way," the blue-eyed teen grinned wickedly, as he led the older man into the shower.

After a very long, very hot shower, Shepard and Alex were ready to part ways for the day.

"Thanks for the, uh, shower," Shepard grinned as he kissed the older man quickly on the lips.

"No. Thank **you** ," the older man insisted, "It was the best shower I've had in a while. You know you can come by anytime."

"I'll take you up on that," the young blonde promised as he put on his hoodie. "I'll see you soon, eh."

"I'll be looking forward to it," Alex assured, "I can't wait to see you again."

Shepard laughed a warm laugh. "Oh, you'll **definitely** see me again," the young blonde assured with a wink as he quickly left the apartment.

"Good to know, blue-eyes," the dark-haired man thought aloud, smiling at his good fortune.

**~~~☆~~~**

"Where the hell have you been, Johnny?" Gina asked angrily. "We expected you home last night."

"I fucking told you that I would be back when I was ready," Shepard replied as he threw his bag on the table to retrieve the money from inside. "Here. I sold all your shit."

"Finally," the young woman said as she yanked the money from the young blonde's hands. 

"I'm going to skate today," The blue-eyed boy informed the woman as he headed to his bedroom to gather his gear.

"That's fine. I'll put a few more bags in your pack, and you can sell them after," Gina ordered as she headed towards her husband's office.

Shepard rolled his sapphire eyes as he headed to his room to retrieve his hockey bag.

"Don't forget your pack," Gina reminded the young blonde as he made his way towards the door.

"I'm out," Shepard called out as he headed out to the nearest hockey rink.

**~~~☆~~~**

Once Shepard arrived at the rink, he quickly texted his two best friends to see if they could play a little hockey. It only took a few minutes for both to agree, and within an hour, the three boys were on the ice, playing against a few players from the local beer league.

The game was long, and the three boys had fun on the ice — Shepard, revelling in the feel of the ice under his feet, Aaron, enjoying his time on the ice, the longest he had spent since his ankle surgery, and Ryan, just enjoying spending time with his two favourite people. It was a good day.

"That felt good," Shepard said as they made their way to the locker room.

"Hell yeah, it did," Aaron agreed as he put his arm around his J. "Thanks for this, J. I had almost forgotten how fucking great it felt being on the ice."

"Best time we've had in a while," Ryan said with a grin, "Well, most fun on the ice, anyway."

"You guys want to pick up some food and head to my place?" Aaron suggested, "We can eat there, yeah."

"Sounds good," Ryan grinned, "I got something I wanna tell you guys anyway."

"You finally came out to your parents?" Shepard asked curiously.

"Nah, I'm still a pussy when it comes to telling 'em," Ryan admitted with a laugh.

"You do know we got your back whenever you're ready to tell 'em," Aaron reminded, "You know that, yeah."

"I know, and I love you both for that," Ryan said honestly, "But this isn't about anything like that. I'll tell you guys all about it later."

"Such a tease, Ryan," the young blonde grinned with a wink. 

"Let's head out guys," Aaron instructed as he opened the locker room door, and headed out of the building.

**~~~☆~~~**

Once the boys had arrived at Aaron's, and they had finished their meal, they gathered in Aaron's bedroom for Ryan's big announcement.

"Okay, Ryan. What's the big announcement?" Aaron asked as he took his seat on the bed next to Shepard.

"Well, it's about hockey," Ryan explained, "I wasn't sure how to tell you guys. I mean, it's hard, because — well, hockey has been a dream job for all of us…"

"Who'd you sign with?" Shepard asked with a giddy smile, excited for his friend.

"Damn, Baby Boy, nothing gets past you," Ryan shook his head in amusement.

"Is he right? Did you really sign with a pro-team?" Aaron asked, pale-green eyes glittering with excitement.

"Yeah, I signed with a CHL team, not the NHL," Ryan explained, "But I have a good chance of signing with the NHL if I do well in the CHL."

"That's great!" Shepard and Aaron cheered in unison.

"What team?" Aaron asked anxiously, eager to learn all about his best friend's good fortune.

"The London Knights," Ryan answered, his smile turning to a frown. "I'll be moving to Ontario soon. That's the part that sucks."

The boys fell silent at the realization that they would be separated.

"It's still awesome," Shepard assured softly. "I mean, it sucks, 'cause we'll miss you, but it's awesome because we get to watch you kick ass. Besides, it's not like you'll never come visit. I mean, you **will** come visit us, right, Walker?"

"Of course, I will! I love you guys," Ryan assured with tears in his eyes. "You're my family. You two have done more for me than any of my real family ever has. I know you guys will love me, no matter what. That's why it's going to be so goddamn hard to leave."

"We love you too, Ryan," Aaron reassured his grey-eyed friend, "Everything's going to be just fine, yeah. You're going to kick ass, and become one of the most successful hockey players around, just like we always planned, eh."

"It hurts that you won't be with me, you know," Ryan said, looking at his green-eyed friend with apologetic sadness prevalent in his eyes. "This was your dream too."

"Yeah, but that just wasn't meant to be," Aaron assured his apologetic best friend. "Let me live vicariously through you, yeah."

"It doesn't bother you?" Ryan asked as he wiped the unshed tears from his light-grey eyes.

"Of course not," Aaron laughed, "And as far as you being lonely, you'll be playing against my J before you know it."

"Yeah, I thought about that," Ryan laughed. "I figure in around five years or so, J will be playing in one of the leagues. We're bound to meet on the ice."

"Yeah, that's a nice dream," Shepard interrupted with a wistful smile. 

Aaron and Ryan noticed the look. "You're not giving up, are you, J?" Aaron asked.

"Yeah, Baby Boy," Ryan said, "You gotta be more positive."

"Yeah, I know," the young blonde replied as he got up from the bed and reached for the bottle of Crown he had bought Aaron for his birthday. "Hey, Aaron, how about we toast to Ryan's good fortune, eh?"

"Hell yeah," Ryan laughed. "Break out those glasses I bought!"

"Why the hell not," Aaron grinned as he brought the glasses to the bed, filling them with the whisky.

"To my brother, Ryan," Aaron announced, "May he continue to kick ass on the ice. We love you!"

"To Ryan!" Shepard repeated as they all drank their shot.

"Damn, that's some good shit," Ryan grinned.

"Yes, it is," Aaron said as he filled each glass once more before putting the rest away. "One more, but the rest is for special occasions."

"Fine," Ryan pouted as he drank from his glass, savouring the flavour.

"When do you have to leave?" Aaron asked curiously. "Maybe I can throw you a going-away party or something?"

"Two weeks, and no, I don't want a party," Ryan admitted, "Today was enough. Just spending time with you guys is plenty. But, I do want a farewell kiss from J."

Shepard cocked an eyebrow in disbelief. "Seriously?"

"Yeah, that's a good one, Ryan," Aaron chuckled, refusing to take his friend seriously.

"I'm serious, Aaron. I want to know what it's like to kiss J," Ryan said seriously, "Is that really surprising? He's hot as hell — so, why not? One kiss wouldn't hurt."

Aaron's eyes grew wide as he continued to stare at his best friend in shock.

"Okay, Walker," Shepard agreed as he made his way towards the grey-eyed teen.

"Wait," Aaron called out, "Ryan, he's only fourteen. You can't seriously think this is a good idea."

"Why not, Aaron?" Shepard asked his beloved friend. "It ain't like he wants to have sex. It's just a kiss."

"Yeah, but…" Aaron said, trying desperately to come up with a valid reason why not. 

"Relax, Aaron," Ryan grinned, "It's just a kiss."

Ryan closed the distance, and within seconds, his mouth was on the young blonde's, kissing softly — chaste at first, but quickly becoming more primal. Before long, their tongues were dancing and entwining. And Aaron couldn't take his eyes off of his J.

Once the kiss was done, Ryan pulled back, smiling at the beautiful blonde, before gently rubbing the remaining saliva from J's full, slightly swollen lips.

"Thank you, Baby Boy. That meant a lot. I'll treasure it," Ryan softly whispered as he kissed the blonde on the forehead.

"Me too, Walker," Shepard replied with a sincere smile.

When Ryan turned to look at Aaron, he couldn't help but laugh at his best friend. The green-eyed teen was still frozen, staring at Shepard as if he were unable to move.

"I think we broke him," Ryan chuckled as he gently shook his friend's shoulders, "Earth to Aaron! Snap out of it, Hayes."

"W-what?" Aaron asked as if he hadn't realized that he had been staring. 

"You were staring at me," Shepard said quietly, his face red in embarrassment. "I-I'm sorry I made you mad, Aaron. I just wanted to give Ryan a goodbye gift. I-I gotta go. I can't wait to watch you play, Walker. L-later, Aaron."

"Wait! Why the rush, Baby Boy?" Ryan asked, hoping the young boy would stay. 

"I gotta go take care of some things for Kevin. I can't be late. I'm sorry," Shepard apologized as he glanced towards Aaron, who was now refusing to look his way. "I-I'll see you later, Ryan. Goodbye, Aaron. I'm sorry, yeah."

Ryan sighed, heavily, as he heard the young blonde leave the apartment. "Seriously, Aaron! What the fuck!?" Ryan scolded, shaking his head in disapproval.

"What did I do?" Aaron feigned innocence.

"What did you do?" Ryan repeated with a chuckle. "You were staring at J like he was a prime piece of meat when he and I were kissing. Then you just refused to even look at him, like he was dirty or something. You really made him feel bad, Aaron."

"He shouldn't have kissed you then, eh," Aaron pouted, unwilling to tell the truth.

"Aaron, that's a shitty thing to say," Ryan said in annoyance. "It was just a simple kiss. There's no reason for you to get all jealous over it."

"Who says I'm jealous," Aaron shrugged, feigning disinterest.

"It's me, Aaron! So, cut the bullshit! When are you going to admit that you're in love with J?" Ryan asked, hoping to make his best friend realize the truth.

"What? That's insane! J's only fourteen," Aaron reminded his grey-eyed friend.

"Stop with the age bullshit! You're only four years older, and J's not a child anymore, Aaron," Ryan scolded. "Hell, I'd take him in a heartbeat, if—"

Ryan's words were cut off by a punch to his left jaw. "Aaron, what the fuck!?" Ryan yelled as he worked his jaw.

"Jesus… " Aaron apologized as he tried to look at his best friend's injured jaw, "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to do that. I just — the way you were talking about J — like he was a sex toy or something, I just couldn't take it."

"What!? Aaron, I would **never** talk about J that way, and you know it," Ryan explained, "When I said I would take him, I meant I would take him as **mine** , that I would cherish him. He deserves that, Aaron. But, I would never do that, not to you. 'Cause I know how much you love him. I've known since we were kids. So, when are you going to admit it?" 

"I-I can't, Ryan," Aaron whispered, "He's just too young, and he's been hurt so goddamn much. I'd only end up hurting him, just like every other asshole he's ever been with. You know the way my mom is, I could never leave Elise for J — if I did, my mom would fucking freak. And if I decided to hide it and act upon my feelings anyway, J would end up being my dirty little secret. He deserves so much more than that. So, tell me, Ryan, do you still think I should act on it?"

Ryan hugged his best friend tightly. "I know you're trying to protect J, but one day you're going to have to either tell him or let him go. You can't keep making him feel bad every time he shows interest in someone else. He loves you, Aaron, but he gets lonely. It's not fair to make him feel bad about it."

Aaron began to sob into his friend's shirt. "I love him so much, Ryan. It hurts to breathe. When I even think of something happening to him, I lose my mind. I want to kiss him so damn much, to hold and protect him. But I'm just no good for him, Ryan. I'm too much of a coward to give him what he needs, and when I see him with someone else, I feel like I'm dying. I know it's selfish, Ryan, but I can't tell him, and I can't let him go! I just can't!"

"I know how you feel, Aaron," Ryan said sympathetically, "But I really think you need to tell J how you feel. I know you're scared, and you think that it'll just end up hurting J, but, don't you think that should be **his** choice and not yours. He deserves to know how much you **really** love him, Aaron."

"I'm scared, Ryan," Aaron admitted. 

"I know. **Believe me** , I know," Ryan assured his green-eyed friend, "You don't have to do it today. Just promise me that you'll tell him soon."

"I'll try, Ryan," Aaron promised as he took his cell phone in hand. "I-I need to apologize to J. What do I say, Ryan?"

"I wouldn't mention the kiss. In fact, don't apologize, just ask him to meet you for dinner," Ryan suggested. "Anything to let J know that you aren't mad at him."

Aaron did just as Ryan had suggested, and within a few minutes, Shepard texted back.

"He wants to know where to meet," Aaron said as he read the text.

"Take him somewhere new," Ryan suggested. "How about that Asian restaurant on Keefer Street?" 

"Great idea," Aaron praised his friend's suggestion as he texted his J.

Aaron paced nervously as he eagerly awaited Shepard's reply, jumping when he heard the chime. "He said he wants to meet me at seven."

"So, is this a date?" Ryan asked curiously. 

"I wish," Aaron snorted. "I'm too much of a pussy to kiss him."

"You don't know what you're missing," Ryan teased.

"W-what was it like?" Aaron asked quietly.

"It was great. He has a soft mouth, and he really knows how to use his tongue," Ryan answered honestly.

"I'm kinda pissed that you kissed my J before I did," Aaron admitted with a pout.

Ryan laughed a little at his friend. "I wish I could say I regret it, or that I feel bad about it, but I can't. You snooze, you lose."

"Yeah, yeah," Aaron said with a half-grin. "I need to take a shower and get ready. Thanks for everything, Ryan."

"No problem," Ryan said with a wink as he grabbed his jacket. "I have a date with Dylan tonight. I gotta go get ready. Love you, Aaron."

"Love you too, Walker," Aaron called from the washroom as he prepared for his date with Shepard.

**~~~☆~~~**

"I hope Aaron isn't angry with me," Shepard thought aloud as he made his way to the restaurant.

_'If Aaron was angry, I don't think he'd be asking you out on a date,'_ the voice explained. 

"It's **not** a date," Shepard reminded the voice.

_'Sounds like a date to me,'_ the voice insisted.

"Please, don't do that," Shepard pleaded quietly, "Don't get my hopes up. It ain't fair to me. It hurts way too much when you're wrong."

"J," Aaron called out, causing Shepard to lift his head. 

_'Late, as usual,'_ the voice teased. 

"Hi, Aaron," Shepard smiled a sweet, nervous smile, "Sorry I'm late."

"That's okay, J," Aaron insisted as he opened the restaurant door for his young friend. "I hope you're hungry."

"Starving," the blue-eyed teen replied with a smile. 

"Good," Aaron said as he pulled a chair out for the young blonde.

"You didn't have to do that, Aaron," Shepard said as he took his seat. "I could have pulled my chair out myself."

_'See, it's a date. He opened the door for you. He even pulled your chair out for you. He's treating you like his woman,'_ the voice snickered.

Shepard's brow furrowed in disappointment. 'I want to be his guy, not his girl… But this ain't a date. Knowing Aaron, he's only acting nice to show he isn't mad at me.'

" **J** ," Aaron called out in a concerned voice. "Are you okay? I lost you there for a minute."

"I-I'm fine," the young blonde assured. "I was just thinking."

"About what?" Aaron asked as he looked through the menu.

"W-why did you pull my chair out for me?" Shepard asked nervously.

"Huh?" Aaron asked in confusion.

"I-it's just that… that's something you do for a girl, and I ain't a girl," the blue-eyed teen explained.

Aaron's eyes lit up in understanding. 'Oh, my god, I'm treating J like he's my girlfriend! Way to turn him off, Aaron. I'm so fucking ignorant.'

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that," Aaron apologized as he touched his beloved friend's hand. "Did that make you uncomfortable, J?"

"Well, yes and no," Shepard tried hard to explain. "I don't mind 'cause it's you, but at the same time, it makes me feel like you don't see me. I ain't a girl, Aaron. I ain't weak, I ain't delicate, and I ain't a little kid. I'm just as much of a man as you are. Do you get what I'm saying, Aaron?"

Aaron sighed heavily. "Yeah, J. I get it. I know you aren't a kid anymore," the green-eyed teen said as he attempted to apologize, "I didn't mean to make you feel that way. Forgive me, yeah."

Shepard smiled as Aaron continued to stroke the top of his hand. "There ain't nothing to forgive."

"You're way too good to me," Aaron chuckled as he kissed the top of the young blonde's hand. 

Shepard blushed at the gesture, unsure of its meaning.

"Are you ready to order?" The waiter asked, causing Aaron to jump at the sudden interruption.

"Um, yeah," Aaron grinned, ordering his food as Shepard watched in adoration. "What about you, J? What do you want?"

"Huh?" 

Aaron laughed a bit as he repeated the question.

"Oh, whatever you're having is fine," Shepard assured as he began to bounce his knee nervously.

"He'll have the same," Aaron said as he smiled sweetly at his J.

"It'll be just a few minutes," the waiter assured as he went to place the order.

Aaron noticed Shepard's knee bouncing and gently rubbed the blonde's knuckles. "You nervous, J?"

"A little," the blue-eyed teen admitted. 

"Why? It's just me, J," Aaron said, trying to soothe his beloved friend. "You don't have to be nervous around me."

"I know," Shepard agreed. "It's not you… It's me. This place is nicer than I'm used to. I just know I'm gonna end up embarrassing you."

"J, that isn't possible," Aaron promised. "Even if you did embarrass me, I wouldn't care. So, don't worry, eh."

"Okay," the blue-eyed blonde said with a gentle smile.

The waiter returned shortly with their food, and it wasn't long before they were digging in.

"Is it good, J?" Aaron asked as he continued to eat his food.

"I like it. It's good," Shepard replied as he picked at his food, knee still bouncing nervously.

"Are you sure you like it?" The green-eyed teen questioned as he noticed the young blonde picking at his food. "I can order you something else if you want."

"N-no! It's fine, really," the young blonde insisted as he accidentally knocked over his drink. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to — I'll clean it up!" Shepard said in a panic, as he nervously stood up to clean the mess he had made.

"J… J, calm down," Aaron insisted as he got up from the table and took hold of Shepard's shoulders, forcing the young blonde to look him in the eye. "It's okay. Just take a breath. Can you do that for me? Just breathe, J."

"I-I need to leave," the blue-eyed teen mumbled nervously. "Please, Aaron. Can we leave?" 

"Of course we can, J," Aaron assured as he motioned for the cheque. "Just let me pay the cheque, and we'll go, yeah."

Shepard just nodded as he waited for Aaron to pay the bill.

"Ready to go, J?" Aaron asked as he took his friend by the hand.

"Y-yeah," the young blonde replied as he allowed Aaron to lead him out of the restaurant.

**~~~☆~~~**

They walked quietly, hand-in-hand, for several minutes before Shepard broke the silence.

"I'm sorry I panicked," the young blue-eyed blonde apologized.

"Don't worry about it, J," Aaron insisted as they continued to walk towards Aaron's apartment. "Are you doing okay? I mean, you were just released yesterday. Are you sure you're feeling alright?"

Shepard visibly tensed at Aaron's question as he pulled his hand free from the green-eyed teen's grip. "I guess. I mean, I ain't manic if that's what you're asking. Is that why you asked me out? To see if I'm still fucked up?" 

"No, of course not," Aaron assured, giving his friend a concerned look. A look that the young blonde mistook for pity.

"Please don't look at me like that, Aaron," Shepard pleaded. "I ain't never gonna be normal. I'm always gonna be fucked up. And if you can't handle that, then tell me to stay away, because I don't want your pity. I'm sorry, but I can't take it. I'd rather die than have you look at me like that, Aaron."

Aaron pulled his J close and held him as tight as he could. "Please don't ever say that! Don't ever say that you'd 'rather die'!" Aaron scolded the blue-eyed boy. "I don't think I could take it if anything ever happened to you. And I'm not pitying you. I'm worried about you. You're **my** J, and I love you! I love you more than anything, so please, don't ever talk like that." 

Shepard returned the embrace, noticing the tears in his beloved friend's eyes. "I'm sorry, Aaron. I didn't mean to—"

"Shh… Don't apologize, J," Aaron insisted as he kissed Shepard softly on the forehead as Shepard's alarm went off.

"I should really get home," Shepard whispered regretfully.

"Yeah," Aaron whispered as he reluctantly let go of his J. "Call me when you get home." 

"I will," the young blonde promised as he bravely kissed his green-eyed friend softly on the lips before quickly walking away.

'I kissed Aaron. I can't believe I did that. Do you think he'll freak out?' Shepard asked the voice nervously.

Aaron stood in shock for a few seconds, gently touching his lips in disbelief before smiling brightly, calling out to his blonde beauty. 

"I fucking love you, J!"

_'Does that answer your question?'_ The voice replied with a chuckle.

"I love you too, Aaron," Shepard yelled back with a grin as he continued home, feeling happier than he had felt in months.

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a fun chapter with no heavy drama. I hope it was enjoyable.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	20. Bound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Whites decide it's time for Shepard to pay what he owes.
> 
> Anderson finally shows up. 
> 
> **WARNING!!! This chapter contains non-graphic rape, violence, and attempted suicide. Please take caution before reading.**

"I'm home," Shepard announced as he put his hockey bag down on the floor of his bedroom.

"Johnny, get your ass in here," Gina yelled angrily, "Now!"

_'I guess she finally realized you didn't turn tricks for 'em,'_ the voice surmised.

"Well, they can kiss my ass," Shepard replied as he pulled off his hoodie and threw it onto his bed. 

"Now, Johnny!"

"'Now, Johnny!'," the blue-eyed blonde mocked as he made his way towards the office. 

"What took you so long? You're supposed to come when I call, not wait around all damn night," Gina bitched as she took a draw from her cigarette.

"I ain't a goddamn puppy. I don't come when called," Shepard snapped as he handed the woman a handful of colourful bills, "Here's your damn money."

Gina eagerly took the money from the young teen’s hand.

"Sit down, Johnny," Kevin ordered as he quickly put out his cigarette. "We need to talk."

"What about?" The young blonde asked in an irritated tone.

"You know goddamn well 'what about,' " Kevin yelled as he hit the table with his fist. "You didn't do your job last night. You cost me money, Johnny, and you've already cost me more than enough!"

"I did my fucking job! I sold your shit, and I dropped your shit off," the blue-eyed boy yelled angrily, "That's my job!"

"Your job is to do as you're told," Kevin corrected the young blonde.

"I ain't no goddamn whore!" Shepard stated angrily.

"Oh, stop being so dramatic," Gina said, rolling her eyes at the young blonde. "It's not like we're putting you on a street corner. It's just a little business arrangement. You don't have to fuck every client we have, only the highest paying ones."

"That's the same damn thing," the young blonde insisted. 

"No, it isn't," Gina argued, "It's no different than what you do with Alex, and I'm assuming you do that disgusting shit for free."

"What we do ain’t any more disgusting than the shit straight people do, you ignorant cunt," Shepard snapped, fed up with her homophobic attitude.

"Touchy, aren't you, Johnny-boy?" Kevin laughed. "If you don't want to fuck the clients I choose, that's fine…"

"What the fuck, Kevin?" Gina asked in annoyance.

Kevin immediately put a hand up, effectively silencing his young wife. "But, if you choose to continue your little affair with Alex, I demand that he start paying a fee. You are our property, after all."

"I'm not your goddamn property! And I refuse to take money from Alex," Shepard yelled in disgust. 

"I told you this little bastard was going to be difficult," Gina sighed, shaking her head at the blue-eyed teen in disgust.

"Okay, Johnny," Kevin replied calmly, "If that's the way you feel… I have to say, I admire your nerve, so I'll let it go. I'll just have to think of another way to recoup our losses. You're free to go. Here's another haul for you to sell."

The young blonde gave the older man a confused look, untrusting of the man's motives. "What's the catch?"

Kevin laughed heartily at the blue-eyed blonde. "No catch, Johnny. Just keep doing what you're doing. Have these sold by tomorrow afternoon — You can go now."

"Uh-huh," the young blonde hesitantly took the bag and retreated to his room.

"Are you seriously okay with him defying you?" Gina asked in confusion.

"Hell no," Kevin assured as he leaned back in his chair. "That little bastard is going to make up for all that lost revenue."

"Yeah, how?" Gina asked in an unsure voice. "He refuses to do as he's told."

"Don't worry about that," Kevin assured. "Would you say that he's an attractive kid?" 

"Uh, yeah," Gina answered truthfully. "Why?"

"What do you think of his body? Is he sexy?" Kevin asked.

"What? What the hell are you getting at?" Gina asked with a chuckle.

"Answer the question, honey," Kevin chuckled, "Just going by the way he looks, is he sexy?"

"Well, yeah. I guess," Gina replied honestly. "I mean, he's a good looking guy — 6'1", dark-blonde hair, sapphire-blue eyes, and fit as fuck. He's a goddamn wet dream for some."

"Do you think people would pay to watch a video of him getting fucked?" Kevin asked with a wicked grin.

"Well, yeah. The world **is** full of perverts," Gina answered with a laugh. "But there's no way you're gonna get him to agree to it. And Alex won't help you — he likes the little bastard too much. So, tell me — how the hell are you going to get the video?"

"Relax, baby," Kevin chuckled. "I've got a plan. Do you still have those sleeping pills that they prescribed for him?"

"Of course," Gina answered with a chuckle. "Why?" 

"Do they work?" Kevin asked curiously.

"I have no idea," the young woman replied, "He hasn't tried them yet."

"Have him take a dose tonight," Kevin instructed, "Keep an eye on him, and let me know how long it takes to kick in."

"Okay, but what are you up to?" Gina asked curiously.

"Nothing you need to worry about," Kevin grinned, "I think I have a way to make more money than we could have ever imagined. I just need a little time to prepare."

"Whatever you say, babe," Gina said with a grin, "You're the boss."

"Remember to keep an eye on him tonight," Kevin reminded as he kissed his wife lovingly.

"No worries, baby," Gina assured her husband with a grin. "I'll let you know how long it takes."

**~~~☆~~~**

"That was fucking weird," Shepard said as he placed the drugs in his pack. "He just caved. Something's off."

_'Maybe he finally realized that he couldn't control you,'_ the voice suggested. _'I guess he figured that it's better to have you do some of the dirty work, instead of none of it.'_

"So, you think he's compromising?" The young blonde asked as he looked through his MP3 player in boredom.

_'Maybe. Just to be sure, I think you should watch your back,'_ the voice warned, _'Just to be safe.'_

"Yeah, I'll keep an eye out," Shepard assured as he put in his earbuds.

The young blonde tried for hours to go to sleep, but to no avail.

"I think I'm going to have to take that pill, huh," Shepard said as he reluctantly got up from his bed. He made it halfway to the door when Gina entered with a glass of water and a bottle of medication.

_'Well, that's quite a coincidence,'_ the voice said in a skeptical tone.

"Just seeing if you need to take your sleeping meds or not," Gina explained in a bored voice.

"Uh, yeah," Shepard replied with a nod, "I do actually. But next time, I'll let you know."

"Sure, whatever, blue-eyes," Gina agreed as she handed the teen his medication and a glass of water.

"Thanks," the young blonde said as he took the pill quickly, handing her the glass when he was finished.

"I'll check on you later," the young woman informed the young blonde as she made her way to the door. 

"You don't need to do that," Shepard replied.

"Relax," Gina chuckled, "I just need to see if the medicine works. If it doesn't, well, I have to tell the doctor to change the prescription."

"Oh," the blue-eyed teen answered, simply, as he returned to his bed.

"Later, blue-eyes," Gina said as she exited the room.

Gina returned every thirty minutes to see if the young blonde had fallen asleep. After an hour, the blue-eyed teen was sleeping peacefully. The young woman tried to wake the boy, testing the limits of his sedation. With no more than a low moan from the sleeping teen, Gina was satisfied that the medication had done its job. 

"Well, it works," Gina snickered as she exited the young blonde's room. "I guess I'll go tell Kevin the good news."

**~~~☆~~~**

**Two weeks later —**

"Are you sure you can't stay the night?" Alex asked as he kissed his blue-eyed lover gently on the neck.

"I would, but Gina wants me home," Shepard replied as he stretched his neck to allow Alex better access.

Alex chuckled into the young blonde's neck. "What the hell for?"

"She wants to have a family dinner," the blue-eyed blonde said with a snicker. "Fucking weird, I know."

"You know, I could pick you up after," the dark-haired man suggested. "I wouldn't mind."

"I might just take you up on that," Shepard grinned as he kissed the older man passionately. "I really hate to cut this short, but I have to get going, eh."

"Mmm… I know," Alex said as he kissed the young blonde once more. "The offer stands. Just text me after dinner, and I'll be right over to pick you up."

"Will do," the blue-eyed teen said as he gathered his things.

"See you soon, blue-eyes," Alex grinned as he kissed the blonde farewell.

"Yep," Shepard smiled as he made his way home.

**~~~☆~~~**

"I'm home," the young blonde announced as he made his way towards the office.

"Come on in, Johnny," Kevin instructed.

"Here's the money," Shepard replied as he handed the cash to the older man. "I got a few more packets in my pack. I'll sell 'em tonight."

"Actually, I need you to go with me to do a pick-up," Kevin informed the young blonde, "After dinner, of course."

"Uh, why do you need me?" The blue-eyed teen asked curiously. "You never needed me before, so why now?"

"A little paranoid, aren't you, blue-eyes," Kevin chuckled, "I just need you to help me carry the merchandise."

"Seriously? How much shit are you picking up?" Shepard asked curiously.

Kevin laughed. "Quite a bit."

"Dinner's ready," Gina announced loudly.

"I suppose we should go eat before Gina gets angry," Kevin said as he led the young blonde to the dining room.

"I hope you boys enjoy it," Gina said as she poured the wine for herself and her husband. "Blue-eyes, you can't drink yet, so water for you."

"That's fine," Shepard replied as he took his seat.

"It looks delicious, babe," Kevin said with a grin.

"Thanks, honey," Gina said with a smile. "Well, boys, dig in!"

Shepard ate in silence as his foster parents made small talk. Trying his best to ignore them, the young teen remained focused on his meal.

"Is it good, blue-eyes?" Gina asked as she poured more water for the boy.

"Yeah," the young blonde replied honestly.

Once the meal was finished, Kevin and Shepard prepared to head out to the meeting.

"Be careful, babe," Gina said as she kissed her husband goodbye. "Call me if you need anything."

"Oh, I will," Kevin chuckled with a knowing wink. "Ready to go, blue-eyes?"

"I guess," Shepard said with a yawn as he grabbed his pack.

"Getting tired, Johnny-boy," Gina asked with a wicked grin as the two males made their way to the door.

"Um, I-I'm fine," the young blonde replied as he followed his foster father out of the building.

Once they were outside, Shepard quickly entered the car, buckling his seat belt as he waited for his foster father to get inside.

"Kevin, you forgot your wallet," Gina called out, motioning for her husband to come to her.

"I'll be right back, Johnny boy," Kevin assured as he made his way back to Gina.

"You have about twenty minutes to get him to the hotel room," Gina explained as she handed the wallet to her husband, "After that, he'll be dead-weight, and I don't think you can carry him by yourself, he's fucking big for his age. I got everything you need in the back of the car. Call me if anything goes wrong. Love you, babe."

"Love you too. I'll see you sometime tomorrow night," Kevin assured his wife as he made his way to the car.

"Ready to go, Johnny?" Kevin asked as he turned the key.

"Yeah," Shepard replied sleepily.

Kevin drove to the nearest hotel and quickly booked a room before going to retrieve the young blonde.

Shepard struggled to keep his eyes open as his foster father led him to the hotel room.

**~~~☆~~~**

Once they were in the room, Kevin placed the drugged boy onto the bed before returning to the car to collect the equipment his wife had packed for him. Kevin quickly returned to the room, locking the door behind him.

"This would have been so much easier if you had just cooperated, but you had to be stubborn," Kevin said as he roughly stripped the teen naked.

" _Whistle…_ Damn, boy, I can see why Alex is so obsessed," Kevin laughed as he bound the teen’s arms and legs to the sides of the bed. "Sorry about the bonds, but you ain't exactly a gentle kitten."

Kevin continued to set things up as the young teen slept, totally unaware of what was happening around him.

Once Kevin was finished, he began taking photos of the unconscious blonde's naked body, making sure to send them to a few of his clients as he went. When he had felt he had taken enough photos, Kevin waited patiently for the young blonde to come to.

**~~~☆~~~**

"Ugh…" Shepard groaned as he slowly opened his sapphire-blue eyes. "What? Where am I?"

_'You finally awake?'_ The voice asked as Shepard struggled against his bonds. _'Yeah, there's no use struggling. That prick has you bound pretty tight. I think that bitch, Gina drugged you. So, I'd hate to break it to you, but you're fucked!'_

"What the hell!? Let me go, you bastard!" The young blonde pleaded as he struggled hard against his bonds.

Kevin slapped the boy hard across the face, "Shut the fuck up! You brought this on yourself. All you had to do was cooperate, but you had to be stubborn. Now, open your mouth so Daddy can give you a little something to calm you the fuck down. If you don't relax, this is going to hurt a hell of a lot more than it has to."

"Fuck you," Shepard screamed as Kevin held him down and pried his mouth open, forcing a bitter powder onto the young blonde's tongue.

Shepard felt the high almost instantly, and the more he tried to fight it, the faster it worked.

"That's a good boy," Kevin praised as he gently stroked the teen’s dark-blonde hair. "We're going to make a little movie, and if you're really good to Daddy, I might loosen the straps."

"Please, don't hurt me," the young blonde whimpered as the older man began to touch him.

"You won't feel a thing," Kevin whispered, "Just do whatever I tell you. You got that, blue-eyes?"

Shepard nodded slowly at his foster father.

"That's a good boy," Kevin praised as he began to remove his own clothing, stopping only to answer a knock at the door.

"Come on in. I didn't think you'd make it," Kevin said as he led the stranger over to the bed. "Here's your camera. Your job is to get close-ups of the action."

"Can I have a taste too?" The bearded man asked as he stared at the naked young blonde while rubbing himself through his jeans. "You never said he looked like that. He's top-shelf for sure."

"Look, if you do a good job, I might let you hit it, but **only** if you do a good job," Kevin said, "I got a lot riding on this! It has to be perfect."

"I'll do my job," the bearded man assured as he took his place next to the bed.

"Let's get this show on the road," Kevin grinned as he hit record on the three video recorders he had arranged around the bed.

The two men took turns with the young blonde, neither man caring about the welfare of the blue-eyed teen — each act becoming increasingly more violent and depraved as the night went on — only stopping their violation long enough to ply the teen with more drugs, keeping Shepard docile and pliable.

Once Kevin was certain he had enough footage, he dismissed the bearded man and carefully removed the restraints from the broken blonde. The man winced as he noticed the horrible condition of the young teen's wrists and ankles. 

"Shit, Johnny," Kevin whispered in an apologetic voice as he rubbed the teen's damaged wrists, "I think we got a little carried away. But don't you worry, Gina and me, we'll fix you right up."

The blue-eyed blonde's eyes began to flutter as he slowly opened his eyes. "Why did you hurt me?" The young teen asked, his voice hoarse as he struggled to speak.

Kevin sighed deeply. "You wouldn't cooperate. Next time it won't be so bad. We'll make you feel good. We'll give you a nice hit of the good stuff. We won't even bind you next time, eh."

"A-are you going to hurt me again?" Shepard asked as his voice trembled in fear.

"Shh… Don't think like that," Kevin replied as he stroked the teen's sweat-soaked hair, kissing his forehead in apology. "You were so good. I'm proud of you. I'll let you rest. We'll go home soon, eh."

Kevin made his way to the chair in the corner, where he proceeded to call his clients.

"Yeah, this is Kevin. I just sent you a little preview. I'll have the full video available in a day or two," Kevin explained to his client as he lit his cigarette, "You're going to absolutely love it. The kid's a natural." … "Oh, yeah, he's a great fuck — unbelievably tight." … "I think I can arrange that." … "It'll be at least three weeks before I make another film. My boy has to recover. I'll contact you with the address when the time comes. Enjoy the sample."

_'Is he… selling you…'_ The voice wondered in a dreamy tone.

"No more…" The young blonde pleaded as he rose from the bed, swaying as he walked.

"Johnny, what are you doing up?" Kevin asked as he ended his call. "You should be resting."

"I heard you," Shepard replied, his words slightly slurring as he spoke. "I won't let you. No more."

Kevin noticed the dark look in the young blonde's eyes, and it terrified him. "Johnny, you need to lie down. You're not well."

"And who's fault is that, Kevin?" Shepard asked as he worked his jaw in anger.

Kevin stood up in front of the young teen and took him firmly by the arm. "You need to lie down."

In that instant, Shepard snapped as he took all his rage, all his pain, and unleashed it upon his foster father, beating the man mercilessly until the teen's vision blurred and sickness overtook him.

**~~~☆~~~**

**LOUD MUSIC— LOUD MUSIC— LOUD MUSIC—**

"Aaron, answer your fucking phone," Elise whined as she pulled the pillow over her head.

Aaron slowly stirred as he answered his cell. "Yeah, Aaron here," Aaron mumbled, his voice groggy from sleep.

"Aaron," Shepard said, his voice shaky and unsettling.

"J?" Aaron asked as he quickly sat up in bed, rubbing his face to wipe the sleep from his eyes. "J, what's wrong?"

"I'm sorry, Aaron," the young blonde apologized weakly.

"J, what are you talking about?" Aaron asked in confusion.

"I'm sorry for all the trouble," Shepard whispered sadly, "Please don't hate me."

"J, where are you," Aaron asked as he started to get dressed. "Please, J, tell me where you are."

"I-I don't know," the blue-eyed blonde admitted truthfully. "I won't bother you no more. I'm so tired — I love you, Aaron."

"J, listen to me," Aaron pleaded as the phone went dead. "J? **J**!? Goddammit!"

Aaron looked at his call history, doing a reverse number search in the hopes of locating his J.

"What the hell is J doing at a hotel?" Aaron asked himself aloud as he finished dressing, reaching for his keys when Elise grabbed his arm.

"Where are you going, baby?" Elise asked in an irritated tone.

"I gotta go, Elise. Something's wrong with J. It sounds bad," Aaron explained. "I don't know when I'll be back."

"Jesus Christ! Every time that kid whines, you run," Elise complained. "It's not healthy, Aaron."

"I don't have time to argue with you right now," Aaron said in annoyance as he made his way towards the door.

"Aaron! We need to talk about this," Elise insisted loudly.

Aaron said nothing as he exited the apartment and made his way to his J.

**~~~☆~~~**

It took Aaron less than fifteen minutes to arrive at his destination. The green-eyed teen made his way to the front desk.

"Is there a John Shepard registered here?" Aaron asked anxiously.

"One second…" The receptionist replied. "No, I'm afraid there isn't."

"Shit!" Aaron cursed as he ran a hand through his own dark-black hair. "Have you seen a guy around here, dark-blonde hair, blue eyes, about 6'1"?"

"No, I'm sorry."

"Thanks anyway," Aaron smiled as he made his way outside, stopping when he noticed Kevin's car. "Kevin?"

Aaron immediately returned to the front desk. "Hi, so sorry to bother you again, but can you please tell me what room Kevin White is in?"

The receptionist smiled as she searched the computer. "Mr. White is in Room 401."

"Thanks. I really appreciate it," Aaron said as he made his way up the stairs, running as fast as he could.

Once he was outside the room, Aaron knocked loudly on the door. When no one answered, Aaron decided to open the door on his own. "Locked," Aaron said in disappointment. "J. J, baby, it's me, Aaron. Open the door for me, J."

Aaron pounded on the door once more before giving up. Noticing that the hotel still used the old, outdated method of keys instead of key-cards, Aaron quickly took a credit card from his wallet and deftly picked the lock. "Thank god J taught me that trick," Aaron said as he slowly opened the door.

"J? J, where are you?" Aaron called out for his beloved friend as he slowly searched the room, eyes going wide when he saw a body lying sprawled out on the floor. "What the hell…"

Aaron made his way over to check the body, praying it wasn't his J. Once Aaron got closer, he could better see the condition of the man on the floor, and it shocked and terrified the green-eyed teen.

"Kevin?" Aaron whispered as he frantically searched for a pulse. 

'He's alive. That's a relief. He's been beaten half-to-death,' Aaron thought as he quickly dialed 911.

"I need an ambulance. Yeah, do you know where the Paradise Hotel is? Okay, it's room 401. A man's been beaten pretty badly. Please hurry."

The second Aaron hung up — he heard a dull sound in the corner of the room. As he looked closer, he could see the vague outline of a dark figure. And as Aaron moved even closer to the shadows, he could see his J sitting in the corner, hitting the side of his head repeatedly.

"J? J, did you do this?" Aaron asked nervously, afraid of the answer.

"Is he dead?" Shepard asked in a scared voice, and for the first time ever, Aaron thought the boy actually sounded his age.

"No… Not yet anyway," Aaron answered as he moved closer to the frightened teen. "Why, J? Why did you do this?"

"He hurt me," the blue-eyed teen whispered.

"What?" Aaron asked as he moved even closer to the boy.

"He hurt me… I begged him not to, but he kept hurting me. I didn't mean it, Aaron." Shepard's voice was low and had a sleepy tone. "I'm tired, Aaron. I just wanna sleep."

Shepard's words were slurred, causing Aaron to worry. "J, are you okay? How bad did he hurt you?" Aaron asked in concern.

"Don't hate me, Aaron. I won't cause trouble — not ever — again…"

"J, what are you…" Aaron's eyes grew wide when he saw the state of his beloved J. 

Shepard was completely naked, absolutely covered in bruises, blood, and other bodily fluids. Aaron also took note of the horrible condition of the young blonde's wrists and ankles.

"Jesus, J! What the hell did that bastard do to you!?" Aaron screamed as he quickly tried to assess the condition of his injured friend.

"He hurt me," Shepard whispered again, his head lulling back and forth. "I'm tired…"

"Okay, J. It's okay. You're gonna be okay, baby," Aaron reassured as he reached out for his young friend, jumping when Shepard's body slumped forward, a couple of small empty packets falling from the teen's hand.

Aaron quickly checked one of the empty packets, noticing the obvious drug residue still clinging to the sides of the pack.

"J! J, what did you do!? What did you do, J!?" Aaron panicked as he shook his friend firmly before quickly searching for a pulse, eyes going wide in terror.

"No, no, no. J — baby, don't do this to me! Why!? Why did you do that, J!?" Aaron cried as he gently placed Shepard on the ground, quickly performing CPR on his beloved friend. 

"Don't die on me, J! Please, J," Aaron pleaded, tears streaming down his face, as he continued CPR, "Come on! This isn't your fault, J! Please, baby, don't do this!"

Seconds later, the EMTs arrived along with the police.

"Please, you have to help my friend first," Aaron pleaded. "He's only fourteen. I think he's ODed on something. He's dying! Please help him!"

"Do you have any idea what he's taken?" The female EMT asked as she prepared to treat the blue-eyed teen.

"I'm not sure," Aaron admitted as he handed her one of the empty packets. "This is what he had in his hand."

"It looks like fentanyl," the female EMT said as she motioned the male EMT over. "I need Narcan ASAP."

Once the man handed her the Narcan, she promptly ordered him to begin treatment on the battered older man.

Aaron watched anxiously as the EMT fought to stabilize the young blonde.

A few minutes later, two uniformed policemen took Aaron to the side to question the green-eyed teen.

"I'm Officer Anderson, and this is Officer Harkin," a tall Black man with brown eyes, and a calm voice, introduced himself and his partner as he prepared to interview the young man. 

"I'm going to take a look around," Harkin, the Caucasian bald officer, announced as he continued searching the hotel room.

"We're hoping you can tell us what the hell happened here," Anderson said as he glanced towards the young blonde currently receiving medical attention. "Can you tell me what happened to that boy?"

"He's my friend. He called me earlier tonight, sounding all strange. He wasn't making much sense, so I came here to find him," Aaron explained, "When I got here, I found Mr. White on the floor. I called 911, and a few minutes later, I found my J, hurt in the corner. I can tell you for a fact — that son-of-a-bitch hurt my J!"

"How can you be so sure it was Mr. White that hurt your friend?" Anderson asked curiously.

"Because J told me! My J doesn't lie," Aaron insisted. "He said that man hurt him, and that he was tired. That's really all I know."

"Do you have any idea who hurt Mr. White?" Anderson asked, trying to get a clearer picture of what had happened in the darkened hotel room.

Aaron turned his gaze away from the officer's eyes. "He had it coming. J wouldn't hurt anyone on purpose — not without reason."

"Is the boy violent?" 

"Only if someone hurts him or someone he cares about. J's as gentle as a lamb. He's got a temper, sure, but he's more likely to hurt himself than others," Aaron explained, hoping they wouldn't judge his J too harshly.

"What do you know about these video cameras?" Anderson asked, feeling disgusted by the implications.

"I don't know," Aaron admitted. "But knowing Kevin, it's nothing good."

"Well, well, what do we have here?" Harkin asked as he pulled some pouches of fentanyl from Shepard's bag. "Do you know whose bag this is?"

"It's J's," Aaron answered truthfully, "But it's not what you think…"

"I need to cuff that kid," Harkin announced as he handcuffed the unconscious boy to the gurney. 

"Officer, that's not a good idea. He's very unstable, and we may have to shock him," the EMT explained.

"What the hell do you think you're doing!?" Aaron yelled as he made his way over to his J.

"Harkin, that won't be necessary. The kid's unconscious, and he's in bad shape," Anderson said as he removed the cuffs from the young broken boy.

"Anderson, you're too damn soft," Harkin insisted, "That kid is obviously a drug dealer, and from the looks of things, an addict and a prostitute. Chances are this kid tried to roll this guy and ODed before he could get away."

"J isn't a goddamn whore! Don't you ever call him that!" Aaron yelled in anger.

"Look, kid, if you don't calm down, I'm going to have to arrest you for obstruction," Harkin threatened.

"Harkin, that's enough. I'll handle this," Anderson insisted as he turned his attention towards the green-eyed teen.

"Son, I need you to calm down and tell me everything you know about that boy's situation," Anderson ordered, "Don't leave anything out."

"His name's John Shepard. He's almost fifteen," Aaron replied, trying not to leave anything out, "He's a foster kid — he's been in the system his whole life. The guy on the floor is his newest foster father, Kevin White. It's obvious that he doesn't care about J. My J had a mental breakdown recently, and they acted like they didn't even care. They were only upset that J wasn't around to run their precious errands. Knowing what I know now, those errands were probably all drug-related. I think J may have been selling drugs for Kevin. Hell, he's probably been doing it for a while now — and to top it all off, I think the bastard raped my J. Hell, I just know he did. He left the evidence all over him."

Anderson looked solemnly at the green-eyed teen. "You can go stand by your friend. I need to take a quick look around."

Anderson quickly found Kevin's cell phone but was unable to unlock it. "I guess I'll have to look at you later."

A few seconds later, Anderson was taking a quick glimpse at the newly recorded footage that was on one of the video cameras. What he found made his stomach turn.

"That poor child…" Anderson whispered sadly, "This is sickening."

"Officer Anderson, we need to move him now," the female EMT announced, "He had a small seizure, nothing big, but I would feel better if he were at the hospital."

"Get him there as soon as possible," Anderson instructed.

"Can I go with him?" Aaron asked anxiously. "I need to be with him. He doesn't have anyone else. Please."

"Let him go," Anderson insisted with a nod.

"Alright," the EMT agreed as she motioned for Aaron to follow.

"I'll be right behind you," Anderson informed them as they made their way to the hospital.

**~~~☆~~~**

Once the EMTs arrived at the hospital, it took about two hours to stabilize the young blonde, and another hour before the boy was able to speak.

"Excuse me," Anderson said as he entered the blue-eyed teen's room. "If you don't mind, I would like to talk to John alone for a minute."

"I understand," Aaron replied as he kissed Shepard's forehead. "I'll be right outside."

Shepard just nodded as he watched his green-eyed friend exit the room.

"How are you feeling, John?" Anderson asked as he took a seat beside the young blonde.

"Shepard. Call me Shepard," the blue-eyed teen insisted as he continued to stare at the door.

"Okay, Shepard," Anderson said softly. "Can you tell me why you tried to end your life?"

The blue-eyed teen just shrugged, refusing to answer the question.

Anderson sighed heavily. "Can you tell me about the drugs we found in your pack? It looked like they were packaged and ready for sale."

Shepard tensed at the question. Unsure of how to answer.

_'You dumbass! Why didn't you leave that shit at home?'_ The voice asked in irritation. _'You're so screwed! Fucking idiot!'_

"I know! I know I fucked up. I'm sorry, just be quiet," Shepard replied aloud as he hit the left side of his head. 

"Are you okay, son?" Anderson asked in confusion, causing the young blonde to physically pale.

"I'm sorry," the young teen apologized nervously, "Please ignore me, my head gets funny sometimes."

"That's okay, son," Anderson assured with a warm smile. "Can you tell me where you got the drugs? Were you selling them?"

"I'm fucked anyway, so yeah, I was selling," Shepard admitted honestly, "But I wasn't selling for myself. I was selling it for Kevin. He said if I didn't sell drugs for them, they'd have me arrested or institutionalized."

"Institutionalized for what?" Anderson asked curiously.

"I-I'm sick," the young blonde said as he pointed to his head for emphasis. "If I don't take my medicine, my head gets funny. But they kept it from me, you know, so they could tell the doctors that I refused to take it."

"I see…" Anderson said sadly, "That must have been hard on you."

The young blonde just shrugged.

"Did your foster mother know about the drugs?" Anderson asked calmly.

"Yeah, she was the one that handled the money," Shepard replied truthfully.

"Would you be willing to sign a statement swearing to this?" Anderson asked, hoping that the young teen would cooperate.

"I ain't sure," the blue-eyed teen said, turning his gaze to his hands. "I don't wanna cause no more trouble."

"I assure you, son, the only trouble you will be causing is for the people that hurt you," Anderson promised with a sincere smile.

"I-I don't know," Shepard replied, still unsure.

"If you help the police, I could probably get you off with drug rehab and probation," Anderson informed the young teen, "But you have to work with me."

"Why would you do that?" Shepard asked, confused by the man's motives.

"Why wouldn't I? You seem like a decent enough kid," Anderson chuckled in amusement.

"You don't even know me. How can you say I'm 'decent'?" Shepard argued.

"I know you didn't ask for any of this. I know that you're tired, and I know you deserve better than what you got," Anderson replied truthfully.

Shepard's sapphire eyes grew wide in surprise. For a minute, the teen was torn about whether or not he should make the statement, but eventually, he made his choice—

"I'll sign — I'll tell you everything I know," the young blonde agreed as he shook Anderson's hand.

"Good deal, son," Anderson nodded in approval. "Do you know where he gets the fentanyl? Where he keeps it, maybe?"

"I don't know where he gets it, sorry," Shepard apologized, "But I know that he keeps it underneath the floorboards in his office. He keeps a little in his safe too. He sells other drugs too. Fentanyl’s just the most popular."

"Excellent," Anderson praised as he handed the injured teen a legal pad and a pen. "Can you write down everything you just told me, and sign at the bottom?"

"I'll try," Shepard agreed as he took the pen from the officer. "I ain't great at spelling. I hope you can read it, okay."

"I'm sure it'll be fine," Anderson assured the nervous teen as he watched the young blonde closely. "You have fine penmanship."

"Yeah, I write like a fuckin' girl," Shepard pouted as he continued to write. "I just can't spell worth shit. I don't read too good, so I hope you understand what I'm trying to say."

"We'll figure it out," Anderson said as he smiled fondly at the young teen.

"I think that's everything," Shepard said as he handed Anderson the pad.

"Thank you," Anderson said as he put the pad on the bedside table. "There's just one more thing I have to ask, and I know it's going to be difficult for you, but I need you to be honest and open with me."

Shepard was confused by the man's sudden seriousness but nodded his head slowly.

"How long has your foster father been abusing you?" Anderson asked softly.

Anderson could see how uncomfortable Shepard had become, just from the mere mention of abuse. 

"I don't know what you're talking about," Shepard denied, unable to look Anderson in the eye.

"There's no need to deny it, son," Anderson insisted, "We already have proof. Your body was covered with it."

"Tonight was the first time," Shepard admitted truthfully. "It was Kevin and another guy."

"What did these men do to you?" Anderson asked gently.

"You know what they did — they fucked me," Shepard replied bluntly, shocking Anderson with his candor. "They hurt me. I begged them to stop, but they wouldn't. I was pretty high, so I don't remember everything. I remember a lot of pain — it was hard to breathe sometimes."

"Do you know the other man's name," Anderson asked, hoping to get more information about the other attacker.

"No, I never seen him before," the young teen answered truthfully, "Tonight was the first time."

"Did they take videos of you?" Anderson asked, already knowing the answer.

"I think so," the blue-eyed teen said nervously. "I mean, he said he did. I think he was going to sell me. He said something about making another movie in three weeks. That's why I snapped."

"Would you be willing to be examined for evidence?" Anderson asked, hopeful that the teen would cooperate once again.

"Didn't they already do that?" Shepard asked in confusion.

"They took samples from the outside of your body, but you weren't properly examined for sexual assault," Anderson explained.

Anderson could sense the boy's apprehension. "I assure you, no one will know. It will be handled very quietly, I promise."

"I know," Shepard whispered nervously, "I know… I just — what's the point? He's already going to jail for drugs, right?"

"Yes, but don't you want him to answer for what he's done to you?" Anderson asked, hoping to persuade the young blonde.

"I almost killed him. Isn't that enough? I mean, he'll never be able to foster another kid, so— what's the point?"

Anderson sighed and tried to choose his words carefully. "This needs to go on his record. People need to know what kind of man he really is. They need to know all the horrible things he's capable of."

"I don't want to go to court. I just don't want to deal with that shit," Shepard replied anxiously.

"You might not have to."

"Bullshit! I know I'll have to! I'll have to tell them every dirty little thing he did," Shepard replied in frustration, "Then I'll have to put up with his defence trying to make me look like a goddamn liar, so **no**. No, thank you."

"You've been through this before, haven't you?" Anderson asked sympathetically.

Shepard just turned his gaze, unable to look Anderson in the eye.

"We could get you to testify on video, that way there's no cross-examination," Anderson suggested.

Shepard's gaze shifted back to the man. "Can they do that?"

"Yes, in certain situations, it's permitted," Anderson replied.

"Can you guarantee it'll be done that way?"

"Well, no, not right off," Anderson answered truthfully.

"Then fuck off," Shepard snapped.

"What if I promised that, if we can't get a video testimony, we'll drop it. Then would you agree to it?" Anderson asked, hoping for a compromise.

"And I wouldn't have to testify in court?" Shepard asked, unsure whether to trust the man. "'Cause if I have to testify in court, I swear to god I'll deny everything."

Anderson sighed heavily. "You know, you're the most stubborn kid I've ever met."

"Yeah — well… fuck you," Shepard replied with a pout.

"Charming boy," Anderson chuckled in amusement. "Are you hungry?"

"What?" Shepard asked in confusion.

"Are you hungry?" Anderson asked the young teen once again.

"Why do you want to know?" The young blonde asked suspiciously.

"So I can get something for you to eat," Anderson replied honestly.

"No… I'm fine," Shepard answered just as his stomach began to growl loudly.

"Uh-huh. Stop being so damn stubborn, and tell me what you like to eat," Anderson demanded.

"I dunno…" The blue-eyed teen answered with a shrug.

"You don't know what you like to eat?" Anderson asked, amused by the young blonde.

"I'll eat anything," Shepard admitted.

Anderson laughed warmly at the young teen. "How about a cheeseburger? "

"That's fine," Shepard shrugged.

"I'll be back with your food by the time your exam is finished. I promise," Anderson replied with a grin.

"Uh-huh," Shepard said, confused as all hell by the police officer's behaviour.

"I'll see you in a few, Shepard," Anderson said as he made his way out of the hospital room.

**~~~☆~~~**

After the exam, Anderson returned with a takeout bag of food for the blue-eyed teen.

"Has he been here the whole time?" Anderson asked, referring to Aaron, who had finally managed to fall asleep in the chair beside Shepard's bed.

"Yeah… I told him to go home, but he's too pissed at me to listen," Shepard explained with a fond smile.

"Well, what do you expect? He obviously cares about you," Anderson said with a knowing smile.

"Yeah, but all I do is make his life a living hell," Shepard replied with a bittersweet laugh.

"He obviously doesn't think so," Anderson replied, motioning towards the sleeping teen.

"Well, Aaron doesn't think. That's the problem," the young blonde insisted.

Anderson laughed, quietly, as to not wake Aaron. "Here. One cheeseburger with fries, and a Coke."

"Why did you do that?" Shepard asked as he reached out for the bag.

"Because you were hungry," Anderson shrugged.

"That's not… That's not what I meant. I mean, I'm grateful. I really am, but— What do you want in return? I already gave you my statement and agreed to help you. I ain't got nothing else."

"Do I need a reason?" Anderson asked, confused by the boy's cynicism.

"Well, yeah… Everybody has a reason," Shepard insisted.

"Do they?" Anderson asked as Shepard nodded while taking a bite of his burger. "Then, I guess I did it because I see something in you."

"What?" Shepard asked, utterly confused.

"You're obviously a bright kid. I think if you had the opportunity, you would be very successful in life," Anderson explained honestly.

"Seriously? You **really** don't know me," Shepard laughed in amusement. "I'm dumb as fuck."

"He's lying." Aaron's voice rang out with a yawn. "He's the smartest person I know. Don't let him lie to you."

"Jeez, Aaron. You say that, but only 'cause all your friends are fucking morons. A two-year-old would seem like a genius by comparison," Shepard argued.

"Whatever, J. You know you're smart," Aaron insisted.

Shepard just shook his head as he continued to eat his food.

"I could tell from the first time I spoke to him that he was a very intelligent young man," Anderson said with a grin.

"Fuck you both! You're teasing me now," Shepard pouted.

"Has he always had such a foul mouth?" Anderson asked curiously.

"Yep, ever since he was six," Aaron answered honestly.

"Six?" Anderson asked in disbelief.

"Yep, he'd curse every time he'd miss a shot." Aaron smiled affectionately at the memory.

"Fuck you, Aaron. It ain't my fault I ain't got a filter," Shepard replied, flipping the green-eyed teen off for emphasis.

"Missed a shot?" Anderson asked, unsure of what Aaron had meant.

"Yeah. J plays hockey, and he's damn good," Aaron boasted, praising his J.

"Yeah?" Anderson asked curiously.

"I guess," Shepard shrugged as he continued to eat.

"Do you play for a team?" Anderson asked, genuinely interested in the young blonde's life.

Shepard shook his head. "No. I just play for fun."

"You could play for a team if you wanted," Aaron insisted.

"No, Aaron, I really couldn't. I don't have the money or resources, and you fucking know it," Shepard scolded his beloved friend.

Aaron's grin turned sour. "I know, J. I just meant that you're really good. That's all, yeah. I didn't mean to upset you, eh."

"I'm not upset. It's just the way it is. That's all," Shepard shrugged.

"I should come watch you play one day," Anderson said with a sincere smile.

"Why?" Shepard asked curiously.

"Does he always ask 'why' to everything someone says?" Anderson asked in amusement.

"Yeah, he really does," Aaron answered with a warm-hearted laugh.

"Seriously, you two need to get the fuck out! I'm tired, and I'm sore as fuck. And you're both picking at me!" The blue-eyed teen growled as he finished his food and set it aside.

"Wow, J! That's very ungrateful of you. This nice police officer brought you food, and here you are telling him to get the fuck out. Shame on you, J," Aaron teased lovingly.

"You're right, Aaron. Anderson, I'm sorry I was rude. Thank you for the food, but can you please leave so I can get some rest?" Shepard asked sincerely.

"Much better, J. I'm proud of you," Aaron smirked, obviously very pleased with himself.

"Aaron, I swear to god if you don't shut the fuck up!" Shepard replied in annoyance.

Aaron chuckled as he kissed his J on the forehead, causing the young blonde to blush. "Okay, okay. I'm leaving. I'll be back to see you tomorrow. Get some rest, eh."

"I will, just as soon as you two get the hell out of here," Shepard promised with a pout.

"Alright. I'll be here to see you tomorrow. Have a good night, Shepard. You too, Aaron," Anderson said as he made his way out of the hospital room.

Shepard waved as he watched Anderson exit the room, Aaron following close behind.

"Hey, Aaron," Shepard called out, making the green-eyed teen turn around. 

"Yeah, J?"

"Come here a minute," Shepard instructed as he motioned for his friend to come nearer.

Shepard pulled Aaron down into his arms and hugged the green-eyed beauty as tight as he possibly could. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean—"

"Shh… That's enough, J. I know," Aaron whispered as Shepard finally let go of the young man, allowing him to make his way to the door.

"I love you, Aaron," Shepard whispered, just loud enough for Aaron to hear.

"I love you too, J. I'll see you tomorrow. Get some sleep, yeah," Aaron instructed with a gentle smile.

"Will do," Shepard promised with a mock-salute. 

Left alone in his room, Shepard closed his eyes and finally let himself drift off to sleep.   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was another tough chapter. Four more chapters to go...
> 
> Thank you for reading.


	21. Jealousy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard is sent to a new home where he receives an unexpected admirer.
> 
> Shepard and Aaron celebrate Shepard's fifteenth birthday.
> 
> Aaron meets Alex...

"Do you have to do any outpatient counselling, or are you officially done with rehab?" Aaron asked as he helped his blue-eyed friend gather his things.

"Officially done," Shepard replied in relief. "I can't wait to get the hell outta here."

"So, this is a pretty great birthday present, huh," the green-eyed teen said with a playful wink.

"What?" The blue-eyed blonde asked in confusion.

"Come on, J! Don't you know what day it is?" Aaron asked in disbelief.

"Uh, no," Shepard admitted as he zipped his pack. "You know I ain't good with dates. I'm lucky if I know what time it is, never mind what day."

" _Sigh—_ It's April the 11th," Aaron reminded his clueless friend. "As in, the day you were born. Happy fifteenth birthday, yeah."

"Oh… Thanks, I guess," the young blonde shrugged as he threw his pack over his shoulder.

"Seriously, J," Aaron replied in annoyance, "That's your reaction? Aren't you the least bit excited about your birthday?"

"Why would I be?" Shepard asked as he furrowed his brow. "It ain't never meant anything before."

"It means something to me," Aaron corrected the young blonde.

"Yeah," the blue-eyed teen said, amused by his beloved friend's words. "You must be a glutton for punishment. All I ever do is cause trouble for you. I'm surprised you keep putting up with me."

"Ah, it isn't that bad," the green-eyed teen assured as he put his arm around the troubled fifteen-year-old, "I don't mind a little trouble, J."

"Masochist," Shepard teased as he followed the older teen out of the building.

**~~~☆~~~**

"Shepard! I'm so glad I caught you," Shepard's social worker called out as the young blonde tried to make his way to Aaron's car.

"Fuck my life," the young blonde said as he rubbed his face hard in frustration.

"They don't waste any time, huh, J," Aaron said in disappointment.

"I'm here to take you to your temporary home," Daniel explained with a smile. "Everything is ready to go. Happy Birthday, by the way."

"Can't you give us a few hours?" The green-eyed teen asked, hopefully.

"I really need to get him there," Daniel insisted, "They're expecting him soon."

"Come on, don't be so mean," Aaron pouted. "It's his birthday for crying out loud. I already had something planned for him. Do you really want to ruin his surprise?"

Daniel sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "Fine, you have two hours. You're to have him back by three. Is that understood?"

"Yes! Thank you so much, eh!" Aaron said gleefully, as he shook the older man's hand in thanks.

"Um, Daniel, were you able to get my hockey bag from my old place?" Shepard asked quietly, knowing the chances were slim.

"No, I'm sorry," Daniel replied apologetically. "The only things I could retrieve were your clothes."

"Yeah, I figured," the young blonde replied in a melancholic tone. 

"Come on, J," Aaron said, quietly, as he opened the car door for his blue-eyed friend, "Let's get going, yeah."

"I'll see you, gentlemen, in a few hours," Daniel reminded as he watched the two teens drive away.

**~~~☆~~~**

"You can borrow my gear anytime," Aaron offered. 

"I appreciate it, Aaron, but there's no way I can wear your skates," Shepard explained as he continued to stare out the window.

"I'll bet you could wear Ryan's," the green-eyed teen suggested. "I'm sure he has a spare pair that he would lend you."

"Ryan's in Ontario, remember," Shepard reminded his green-eyed friend.

"Yeah, but I'm sure he has a spare set at his family's house," Aaron assured. 

"I don't want to bother Ryan," the young blonde replied softly. "He's pretty busy."

"Nonsense," Aaron said with a chuckle. "Ryan would never be too busy for us. We're family, J. Besides, Ryan would love to hear from you, yeah."

"Speak of the devil — he just texted me. He wished me a happy birthday," Shepard replied fondly. "He also said he wished he was here, and that he misses us."

"You should call him and ask him about those skates, eh," the green-eyed teen suggested as he rubbed Shepard's hand gently with his free hand as he drove.

"I'll text him," the young blonde said as he took his cell from his pocket. "That way, he can check it when he's not so busy."

"If that's what you want, J," Aaron smiled.

"I guess I can count myself lucky that I got my pack back," Shepard grinned. "Everything I own that means anything is in that goddamn pack."

"Anderson really came through with that one," Aaron chuckled as he pulled into the parking lot.

"Why are we near the water?" The blue-eyed teen asked as he unfastened his seat belt.

"You love the water," Aaron replied with a knowing smile. "Just let me get the bag out of the back, and we'll walk to the beach, yeah."

"Do you want me to carry that?" Shepard asked as he watched his friend closely.

"Thanks, but I got it," the green-eyed teen assured, with a laugh. "Let's go, J."

Shepard followed his beloved friend closely as they made their way to the beach.

Once they made it to the shore, they sat down on the sand — taking their time admiring the view.

"Close your eyes, J," Aaron insisted as he searched through his bag.

"Seriously?" Shepard laughed in amusement, "I'm not a little kid, you know."

"Humour me," the green-eyed teen pleaded with a smile.

"Alright," the blue-eyed teen agreed as he closed his sapphire-blue eyes.

Aaron quickly retrieved an oversized cupcake from a box before lighting the small candle on top. "Okay, J… You can open your eyes."

Shepard's smile widened, genuinely touched by his best friend's gesture. "Aaron, you didn't have to do this."

"I wanted to, J," Aaron said as he kissed his blue-eyed friend softly on the cheek. "Make a wish, eh."

The young blonde smiled, closed his eyes, made his wish, and blew out the candle.

"What did you wish for?" Aaron asked curiously.

"If I tell you, it won't come true," Shepard replied with a cheeky grin.

"Uh-huh," the green-eyed teen chuckled as he offered Shepard a bite of the oversized cupcake.

"It's good," the young blonde admitted as Aaron continued to feed him.

"Yeah," Aaron chuckled as he playfully smeared chocolate frosting onto his young friend's face. 

"Oh, you're gonna get in now, Hayes," Shepard laughed as he wrestled the cupcake away from his friend, only to smear the remaining cake all over his beloved friend.

"You win! You win!" Aaron laughed as he gently removed the icing from his J's mouth with his thumb, smiling brightly at the young blonde.

"You're a mess, Aaron," the young blonde replied softly, as he leaned in closer to the black-haired teen, surprising Aaron by licking the icing from the corners of the green-eyed teen's mouth, before bravely kissing him.

It was a quick, chaste kiss, but it made Aaron's heart race. "What was that for?" The green-eyed boy asked softly.

"For giving a damn, I guess," Shepard answered truthfully. "W-we should probably get back."

"Y-yeah," Aaron reluctantly agreed as he tried to clean the remaining chocolate from his face.

"Sorry about that," the blue-eyed teen whispered as he helped clean his friend's face.

"Nah, it was fun. No worries," Aaron assured as he gently wiped the chocolate from Shepard's full bottom lip. "Can I kiss you, J?"

Shepard's sapphire-blue eyes grew wide in surprise. 'Did Aaron just—'

_'Well, I'll be damned! Happy Birthday, Shepard — looks like your wish is coming true, eh,'_ the voice congratulated the young blonde.

"L-like a **real** kiss?" The blue-eyed blonde asked nervously.

Aaron laughed a warm laugh as he nodded at the young teen. "Can I?"

Shepard just nodded as Aaron's lips met his. The kiss was gentle and firm as the older teen gently traced Shepard's full lips with his tongue, begging entry into the young blonde's mouth. 

Shepard opened his mouth slowly, savouring the sweet taste of the green-eyed teen's kiss. It was at that moment the young blonde saw stars. The kiss was long and languid, and neither wanted it to end. Sadly, nothing lasts forever, and the two teens had to eventually part.

"That was…"

"Amazing," Aaron finished his young friend's sentence. "Thank you for that, J."

Shepard just smiled lovingly at his friend. "No. Thank you, Aaron. That was the best present I ever got."

The green-eyed teen smiled tenderly at his beloved J, mesmerized by the young blonde's sapphire blue-eyes. "You have the most beautiful eyes," Aaron whispered as he leaned in for another kiss, stopping suddenly as the sound of buzzing shattered the illusion — effectively ruining the moment. 

"Shit," the green-eyed teen cursed as he reluctantly answered his cell. "Aaron here. Oh, hey, Elise."

And just like that, reality reared its ugly head. Shepard's smile faded as he stood up, dusting the sand from his pants as he walked to the edge of the water.

_'Not the gentlest way to awaken from a dream, but at least you got a kiss.'_

"Yeah, it was a nice dream while it lasted," Shepard admitted aloud while he looked out across the water.

"You ready to go, J?" Aaron asked apologetically.

"Yeah," the blue-eyed teen replied sadly, as he turned, walking past his green-eyed friend silently, heading towards the parked car.

Aaron closed his eyes in regret as Shepard walked past. 'I never should have kissed him. All it did was hurt him. I'm so fucking selfish,' Aaron thought as he turned, following his beloved J to the parked car.

"I'm sorry about that, J," Aaron apologized as he started the car. 

"Don't worry about it," Shepard insisted quietly, as he leaned his head against the car window. "Elise has every right to call you. She's your girl, after all."

"Yeah," the green-eyed teen replied quietly. 

"We should hurry," the blue-eyed teen said softly. "Don't wanna leave Daniel waiting."

"Happy Birthday, J," Aaron whispered as he started the car— 

**~~~☆~~~**

"Did you have fun?" Daniel asked as Shepard made his way towards the man's waiting car.

"It was fine," Shepard shrugged as he put his pack in the back seat.

"Call me when you get settled, eh, J," Aaron called out, hoping for a happy reaction from his J.

"Sure," the young blonde replied as he got into the passenger's seat, resting his head against the car window.

Aaron sighed as he shook Daniel's hand. "Take good care of him, eh."

"I'll certainly try," Daniel replied with a smile as he made his way to the driver's side.

"Can we go, please?" Shepard asked anxiously. "I really want to get this shit over with."

Daniel gave a heavy sigh as he started the car and drove towards Shepard's new home.

**~~~☆~~~**

"We're almost there," the young social worker said as he glanced at the young blonde beside him. "Is there anything you wish to know?"

"Not really," Shepard replied, uninterested in the situation.

"Their names are Stephanie and Edward Grant," Daniel said, "They're fairly young. They've agreed to take you in for a few months."

"Don't care," the young blonde shrugged.

"I know things haven't been the easiest for you, but please try to be civil with these people," Daniel pleaded.

"When have I ever not been civil?" Shepard snapped. 

"Okay, okay," Daniel apologized, "Poor choice of words on my part. Well, we're here."

Within a matter of minutes, Daniel was introducing Shepard to his new foster parents.

"Mrs. Grant, this is John Shepard," Daniel said as he motioned towards the young blonde, "Shepard, this is Mrs. Grant."

The young chestnut-haired woman smiled, her brown eyes shining, as she took in the sight of the young blue-eyed blonde. "Hello, Johnny. I'm **very** happy to meet you. You can call me Stephanie."

Shepard remained silent as he shook the young woman's hand.

"Is Mr. Grant here?" Daniel asked curiously.

"No, Ed won't be back until six," Stephanie replied.

"I see. Well, just contact me if there's a problem, and I'll rush right over," Daniel promised as he shook the young woman's hand. "Shepard, call me if you need me."

"Hn." Shepard nodded as he fidgeted nervously beside the chestnut-haired woman.

"I'll take my leave. Good luck, Shepard," Daniel said as he made his way out of the house.

**~~~☆~~~**

For the next twenty minutes, Stephanie led the young blonde from room to room, explaining where everything was as Shepard half-listened. 

"This will be your room, Johnny," the chestnut-haired woman explained, "You can put your things away anytime you want. I'll call you when Ed gets home."

Shepard nodded as the young woman exited the room, leaving the young blonde alone. "I wonder what kind of people they are?"

_'With your luck, they're horrible people,'_ the voice replied honestly.

"Yeah, you're probably right," the blue-eyed blonde sighed as he checked his phone. "Ryan has an extra pair of skates. Apparently, he told Aaron to pick 'em up for me."

_'That's a good thing, right?'_ The voice asked, confused by Shepard's sulky tone.

"I guess," Shepard said as he put in his earbuds and turned on his MP3 player. "I'm tired. I'm taking a nap."

Shepard's sleep was interrupted by the feel of someone gently shaking him. "Huh?"

"Time to get up and meet Ed," Stephanie replied gently.

"Okay," Shepard replied as he rubbed his face hard before following the chestnut-haired woman.

"Ed, this is Johnny," Stephanie introduced the young blonde with a smile.

Ed was a man of average height with short brown hair and dark-brown eyes. The man smelled of whisky, and Shepard wondered if he was an alcoholic.

"Hello, Johnny," Ed greeted the young teen with a smile. "Sit down, and grab a slice of pizza. I picked it up on the way home from work. It's still hot, so be careful."

"I'll get you something to drink," Stephanie winked as she made her way to the refrigerator. "What would you like to drink, Johnny?"

"Water's fine," the young blonde replied as he took a seat at the table.

"Water? Not pop?" Stephanie asked in amusement.

"I don't really drink a lot of pop," Shepard informed her as he took a bite of pizza.

"You're a weird kid, huh," Stephanie chuckled as she handed him a bottle of water. 

Shepard continued to eat in silence, only speaking when spoken to.

"So, I was told to remind you that you have a test tomorrow," Stephanie informed the young blonde.

"What time, and where do I go?" Shepard asked nervously.

"Eight, in the morning, and you have to go to the learning centre, near Keefer Street," Stephanie explained.

"What happens if I fail?" The blue-eyed teen asked anxiously.

"I think you get one do-over. If you fail that, then you get held back a year," the chestnut-haired woman replied. "I can show you the explanation letter if you want."

"That's okay," Shepard said as he got up from the table. "Do you mind if I take a shower?"

"Of course not, boy," Ed laughed as he opened another beer. 

"Thanks," the young blonde said as he made his way back to his bedroom.

Once Shepard's shower was over, he headed back to his bedroom, running smack into his new foster mother. "Sorry," the young blonde apologized as he made sure she was okay. "I was drying my hair and wasn't paying attention. Are you okay?"

The young woman's eyes travelled from the young blonde's narrow waist, all the way up to his broad shoulders, letting her hands ghost over the well-muscled chest. "Oh, I'm more than alright," Stephanie grinned as she gently squeezed the blue-eyed teen's biceps. "Are those tattoos real?"

"Uh, yeah, they are," Shepard replied nervously. "I-I should really get back to my room. Sorry again for running into you."

"Oh, that's no trouble, none at all," Stephanie assured as she licked her lips.

Shepard immediately made his way past the chestnut-haired woman, eager to be rid of her.

_'Did that woman seriously just hit on you?'_ The voice snickered, obviously amused by the situation. _'Boy, is she barking up the wrong tree, or what!?'_

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up," Shepard replied with a sigh, as he stripped naked and got into his bed. "I'm going to sleep. I've got to get up early in the morning."

_'Yeah, yeah… Goodnight, precious,'_ the voice teased.

**~~~☆~~~**

"I can pick you up after if you need me to," Stephanie insisted, as she rubbed Shepard's back gently.

"Uh, no, that's alright," the blue-eyed teen said as he quickly made his way to the door. "I already asked my friend to pick me up after the test."

"Aw, that's too bad. I was hoping we could get to know each other better," the chestnut-haired woman pouted.

"M-maybe some other time," Shepard replied nervously as he quickly made his way out of the building.

_'I have to say, this is very amusing to me,'_ the voice snickered. _'It's not every day that you get hit on by an older woman. If you're interested in trying to go straight, I'm sure she would be more than happy to accommodate you.'_

"Oh, yeah, 'cause you just know how much I love pussy," the young blonde said sarcastically. "I think we both know that ain't happening. I like cock, not twat."

_'Good one,'_ the voice approved. _'So, do you think you'll pass the test?'_

"No, I really don't," the blue-eyed teen admitted honestly. "I might be able to pass the re-test, but I really don't think I'll pass the first time. I don't even know what the content is."

_'So… you're fucked — that's, basically, what you're saying,'_ the voice replied.

"Yep, pretty much," Shepard nodded as he made his way to the learning centre.

_'For what it's worth, good luck, Johnny-boy!'_

"I hate that goddamn name," the young blonde whispered as he continued walking down the street.

It only took Shepard about forty-five minutes to make it to the centre. The test itself took around three hours, but to the young blonde, it felt like an eternity. And Shepard couldn't wait for it to be over. 

"Hey, J," Aaron called out with a grin as he waved to his young friend. 

"Hey, Aaron," Shepard replied in a less-than-enthusiastic manner.

"What's with the long face?" The green-eyed teen asked as the two teens got into the car. "Did things not go well?"

The young blonde rubbed his face hard. "I failed. I'm 100% sure, I fucking failed."

"Are you sure? I mean, you're pretty smart, J," Aaron reminded, as he snapped his seat belt. "Maybe you managed to squeak by."

"There's no way, Aaron," the blue-eyed teen insisted, "I didn't know **anything**. I was so fucking lost."

"Well, you get a do-over," the green-eyed teen assured as he started the car. "I'm sure you'll pass the next time, yeah."

"Maybe," Shepard replied in uncertainty. "If I can find somebody to read the fucking material to me by then. I mean, I can do it, but I'm too damn slow. There just ain't enough time."

"If that's all you need, I can read it to you, J," Aaron offered with a smile.

"No, you can't," the blue-eyed teen said, shaking his head for emphasis. "You have too much to worry about with your own studies. You just don't have time, Aaron, and that's okay. I'll just have to think of something."

"Okay, but promise me, if you can't find anyone to help, you'll let me read it to you, eh," Aaron insisted.

"Fair enough," Shepard agreed, "If I can't find anyone, I'll come to you."

"I got those skates for you," the green-eyed teen said with a smile, "Would you like me to keep them for you?"

"Yeah, if it's not too much trouble," the young blonde replied appreciatively.

"It's no trouble, J," Aaron insisted. "Do you wanna go get something to eat?"

"I guess," Shepard agreed with a shrug.

Once Aaron and Shepard had finished their meal, they made their way out of the restaurant, laughing as they made their way back to the older teen's car.

"Blue-eyes!?" A familiar voice called out, causing the young blue-eyed blonde's head to turn.

"Alex?" The blue-eyed teen questioned in surprise.

"Who?" Aaron asked in confusion.

"Hey, blue-eyes," the dark-haired man called out once more as he motioned the young blonde over.

"Aaron, can you give me a second?" Shepard asked.

"Uh, sure, J," the green-eyed teen replied curiously, as he watched his J make his way over to the strange man.

"Hey, Alex," the young blonde greeted with a bright smile.

"Hey, blue-eyes," Alex said as he hugged the young teen tightly. "Are you doing okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good. You?" 

"Ah, I can't really complain," the older man said with a shrug. "You're looking great, blue-eyes. I have to say — I have missed you like crazy."

Shepard chuckled as he spoke. "I missed you too."

"Come here," Alex grinned as he pulled the young blonde in for a kiss. 

"That felt good," the young blonde grinned as he licked his lips.

"Mmm… You want to go back to my place, blue-eyes?" Alex asked with a wink.

"I'd love to, but I'm with my friend," Shepard explained as he motioned towards Aaron.

"Your boyfriend?" Alex asked, cocking his brow as he spoke.

"Uh, no," the young blonde answered truthfully. "He's just a friend."

"I'll tell you what, blue-eyes, I'm going to be around for a little while longer, so — if you change your mind, come find me, eh," Alex offered with a wink.

Shepard laughed a little at his friend. "I'll think about it."

"You do that, blue-eyes," Alex grinned as he kissed the young teen farewell.

'Who the hell is that guy? And why the hell is he kissing my J?' Aaron thought, irritated by the easy familiarity between the stranger and his J. 'Why hasn't J ever mentioned him?'

"Hey, Aaron. Thanks for waiting," Shepard said, thankfully.

"How do you know that guy? Is he your boyfriend?" Aaron asked curiously.

"No, he's not my boyfriend," the young blonde said, rolling his eyes in annoyance. "Alex is just a friend."

"Oh, okay," Aaron doubtfully replied.

"He asked me to hang with him for a while," Shepard admitted.

"Do you want to hang out with him?" Aaron asked curiously as his phone began to buzz. " **What!?** " Aaron said in annoyance as he answered his phone, holding his finger up towards his young friend. 

"Is that any way to greet your girlfriend?" Elise asked in annoyance.

"Yeah, sorry about that. What's up, Elise?" The green-eyed teen asked as he continued to stare at his beloved J.

"I need you to come, pick me up," Elise insisted, "My car won't be ready today, so, I'm stuck here if you don't come, get me."

"Elise, can this wait? I really have something I need to do," Aaron explained.

"Aaron Andrew Hayes, you better get your ass down here right now, and pick me up!" Elise demanded.

'Fucking bitch!' Aaron thought, rolling his eyes at his girlfriend's voice. "Fine! I'm on my way, just text me the goddamn address," Aaron instructed as he quickly ended the call, looking up just in time to see his beloved J walking away.

"J, wait," Aaron called out, causing Shepard to turn around.

"It's okay, Aaron," the young blonde smiled sadly at the green-eyed teen. "I understand. I'll just hang with my friend. It's fine, really."

"I'll make it up to you, J," Aaron promised loudly, as the younger teen just waved his hand as he continued on his way.

"Fuck!" Aaron cursed as he took his place in the driver's seat, hitting the steering wheel in frustration. "Why am I so goddamn pissed!?" Aaron asked himself aloud as he started his car, making his way to his girlfriend.

**~~~☆~~~**

"Want to stay over, blue-eyes?" Alex asked as the blonde continued to dress.

"I can't," the young blonde replied, shaking his head for emphasis. "I still gotta find somebody to help me with that goddamn test."

"I can help you, if you'd like," Alex offered as he kissed the blue-eyed teen's naked shoulder.

"You'd do that?" Shepard asked in disbelief.

"Of course," Alex chuckled as he handed the young teen his shirt.

"Alright," the young blonde agreed as he put on his shirt. "When do you want to start?"

"Tomorrow's fine," the dark-haired man assured with a wink.

"I'll be here at around three," Shepard said, "I mean, if that's alright, with you?"

"Sounds good," Alex nodded as he walked the young blonde to the door. "See you tomorrow, blue-eyes."

"Tomorrow then," the blue-eyed teen grinned as he kissed the older man goodnight, before making his way back home.

**~~~☆~~~**

"Where have you been, Johnny?" Ed asked as the young blonde entered the house.

"I was setting up some help for my school-work," Shepard half-lied. 

"Oh, that's okay then," Ed chuckled, "Be a good boy, and get me another beer."

"Sure," the young blonde replied as he did what he was asked.

"Thanks, kid," Ed said with a grin.

"Well, I'm going to my room," Shepard informed the older man.

"Yeah, have a good night, kid," Ed said with a belch.

"Yeah, goodnight to you too," Shepard grinned as he made his way to his bedroom.

"Hello, Johnny," Stephanie called out from the young teen's bed, just as Shepard flicked on the light.

"What the hell!?" The young blonde jumped in surprise at the sudden voice.

The chestnut-haired woman chuckled as she continued to stare at the blue-eyed blonde. "Did I frighten you, Johnny?"

"Uh, what are you doing here — dressed like that — on my bed," Shepard asked in confusion and mild disgust.

"You don't like my lingerie?" Stephanie asked with a pout.

Shepard rubbed his face in frustration. "I'm sorry, but I've had a really bad day, and I'm really very tired. So, can you please, leave my room?"

"Aw, you wanna come over here and tell 'Mama' all about it?" The chestnut-haired woman asked with a seductive grin.

"Fuck my life," the blue-eyed teen mumbled as his cell phone began to vibrate in his pocket. "Yeah," Shepard greeted simply, as he answered the call.

"J, it's me. Do you wanna come over? I don't have any classes tomorrow. So, I thought it would be a good time to help you out with your studying, yeah," Aaron pleaded.

"Uh… Sure," Shepard agreed, grateful for the offer. "I'll be there as soon as I can. Bye."

"Who was that?" Stephanie asked in annoyance.

"That was my friend," the young blonde explained, "I'll be staying at his place tonight. He's offered to help me study. I'll see you tomorrow, eh."

"Aw, I can help you study," the chestnut-haired woman suggested.

"That's okay," Shepard insisted as he turned to exit the room.

"I'll be waiting when you get back, Johnny," Stephanie replied with a suggestive wink.

"Y-yeah," the blue-eyed teen said nervously, as he made his way to Aaron's place.

**~~~☆~~~**

**Later that night —**

"You got it, J," Aaron grinned, proud of how quickly the blue-eyed teen was picking up the material.

"Yeah, now if only they'd let you come read everything to me," Shepard chuckled as he continued taking notes.

"I am confident that you got this, J," the green-eyed teen assured with a wink.

"Yeah, I really hope so. Alex said he would help me tomorrow," the young blonde explained, "If I do well there, I think I'll take the test early. That way, I won't forget everything."

"So, your friend, Alex, is going to help you as well?" Aaron asked with a hint of jealousy.

"Uh, yeah," Shepard replied uneasily. "He's a good guy."

"So, um… I know it's none of my business, but–" Aaron paused, unsure whether he should ask the question.

"But?" The blue-eyed teen questioned, raising a brow at his green-eyed friend.

"Are you having sex with him, J?" Aaron asked bluntly.

"Uh… Yeah, sometimes," Shepard admitted honestly. "It ain't serious. We just have fun sometimes."

"You **do** use protection, right, J?" Aaron asked, his jealousy growing greater by the second.

"Yes, Aaron," the young blonde assured, shaking his head at his beloved friend.

"Good," the green-eyed teen said in relief. "You aren't in love with him, are you, J?"

"What the fuck?" Shepard broke out in amused laughter. "No. Why would you even ask that?"

"I was just curious," Aaron insisted, feeling less angry about the situation. "How old is he?"

"Um… Twenty-one. Why?" The young blonde asked in confusion.

"Twenty-one! He's older than me," Aaron exclaimed in disapproval.

"Yeah, so what?" Shepard asked in annoyance. "He's a nice guy, Aaron. There's no need to get upset over it. It's just sex."

"J, he's too old for you," Aaron insisted.

"No, he isn't," the blue-eyed blonde argued. 

"He's just using you, J," the green-eyed teen said in annoyance.

"Well, yeah," Shepard chuckled, "I use him too. We know that, and we're cool with it. Because it's **just sex**."

"What if he wants more? What would you say, J?" Aaron asked as he rubbed his face with his hands.

"Why ask me that? I'm not dating anyone. So, what would it matter if he wanted more?" The young teen replied curiously.

"J, I don't want you dating a guy like that," Aaron struggled to explain, "He's too old, and he seems a little loose with his affections."

"Wow, you think he's a slut," the blue-eyed teen said in disappointment. "You know nothing about him, Aaron."

"Okay, fine, I'm judging him poorly," Aaron admitted, "And I'll own that, but the age difference still stands."

"Aaron, he's only two years older than you," Shepard chuckled.

"That's two years too many," Aaron insisted. "Look, I just want you to know how I feel about it. I don't like it **at all**. I love you, J. I worry about you, yeah."

"Yeah, Aaron, I get it," the young blonde assured, as he put away his books. "Just don't expect me to stop. I like sex with Alex. It's great sex. It helps clear my head."

"Sex clears your head?" Aaron asked in confusion.

"Yep. It calms me," Shepard replied truthfully.

"Okay… Just be careful, yeah," the green-eyed teen warned.

"Do you mind if I sleep on your couch?" The young blonde asked, eager to change the subject. "I kinda told my foster mom that I was staying over."

Aaron chuckled at his young friend. "Anytime, J. Let me go get you a pillow and a blanket, eh."

"Appreciated," Shepard nodded as he quickly removed his shirt. "I usually sleep naked, but I can keep my jeans on if it makes you uncomfortable."

"Uh, it doesn't bother me," Aaron replied upon returning with the bedding, liking the idea of seeing his J naked. 

"You sure?" The blue-eyed blonde asked as he unbuttoned his jeans.

"Positive," Aaron answered as he placed the pillow and blanket on the couch.

"Good," Shepard nodded as he removed the rest of his clothing, causing Aaron's eyes to go wide in appreciation of the young teen's body. "Goodnight, Aaron," the young blonde called out, shaking the green-eyed teen from his thoughts.

"Uh, g-goodnight, J," Aaron whispered as he returned to his bedroom, throwing himself onto the bed.

"Ugh… He's so fucking hot! Everything about J is fucking perfect," Aaron groaned as he slowly began to touch himself, trying desperately to find some release for his pent-up lust.

In the living room, Shepard could hear his green-eyed friend moaning in pleasure, and couldn't help himself as he, too, began touching himself.

It didn't take the two long before they reached their climax, calling each other's names in unison as they came.

"Goodnight, baby," the two boys whispered as they both allowed sleep to take them.

**~~~☆~~~**

Aaron woke early, and after a quick shower, he quietly made his way towards the kitchen. The green-eyed teen was careful not to make much noise when he turned on the coffee pot. He then glanced at his blonde-haired friend sleeping, peacefully, on his couch.

"He looks like an angel when he's asleep," Aaron mused as he waited for his coffee.

Once the coffee was brewed, Aaron poured himself a cup and sat down to glance through his textbook. He sat in comfortable silence for about ten minutes, when he was shaken by sudden screaming. 

Startled, Aaron immediately rushed to his blue-eyed friend's side, trying his best to wake the screaming teen.

"J! J — baby, wake up," the green-eyed teen said firmly as he gently shook the young blonde's shoulders.

Aaron put a hand on Shepard's chest and was alarmed by the pounding he found there. "J — baby, you need to wake up! Your heart is racing, baby. You need to wake up."

The blue-eyed teen began to thrash as if he were fighting an imaginary attacker, causing Aaron to panic a bit.

"Wake up, J," the green-eyed teen demanded as he slapped the blue-eyed teen firmly, in a desperate attempt to wake the young teen from his nightmare.

Shepard's blue eyes finally snapped open as the blonde bolted upright, his breathing rapid and irregular.

"Calm down, J," Aaron whispered as he gently rubbed the young teen's back. "You're okay. It was just a bad dream, yeah."

"I-I… Where am I?" The young blonde asked in confusion.

"You're at my place, J," the green-eyed teen said as he gently stroked Shepard's dark-blonde hair. "You stayed over, remember?"

Aaron watched his J carefully as the blue-eyed blonde struggled to remember. "I-I think so… You were helping me study for my test."

"That's right," the older teen smiled gently in reassurance. "Are you feeling better now?"

"Yeah… It was just a dream," Shepard replied in a shaky voice.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Aaron softly asked as he took his young friend's hand.

"No," the blue-eyed teen said simply as he slowly stood from his place on the couch. "Do you mind if I take a quick shower?"

"Not at all," Aaron assured as he watched his naked friend gather his clothes. "I'll pour you a cup of coffee when you're done with your shower."

"Thanks," Shepard replied as he made his way to the washroom.

The young blonde wasted no time and was soon sitting side by side with his green-eyed friend. "Thanks for the coffee. I appreciate it." 

"No problem," Aaron grinned. "Are you feeling better?"

"Uh, yeah," the blue-eyed teen said with a shrug. "I have those from time to time. I'm fine once I wake up."

"Your heart was racing so fast," the older teen explained nervously, "It kinda frightened me, J. I felt like you were going to have a heart attack or something."

Shepard laughed in amusement. "Aaron, I get them all the time. I never have anyone there to wake me, and I'm just fine. They're nothing to worry about, eh."

"You say that, but I know that can't be good for you, J," the green-eyed teen insisted.

"I'm fine, Aaron," Shepard insisted as he finished his coffee. "So, what's your plan for today?"

"Not much," Aaron admitted, "I gotta drop by and have lunch with my mom. If I don't, she'll pout and insist that I'm ignoring her."

"Does she still hate me?" The blue-eyed blonde asked curiously.

"She doesn't hate you," the green-eyed teen chuckled in amusement. "She just doesn't understand you. It's not the same, J."

"Aaron, she fucking hates me," Shepard insisted. "I know you don't want to believe that, but it's true."

"No, she doesn't," Aaron laughed, "You're just paranoid."

"Uh-huh," the young blonde grinned as he looked at his watch. "Can you drop me off at Alex's place? I promised that I'd be there today."

"Are you **sure** he's not your boyfriend?" Aaron asked skeptically.

"I'm positive," Shepard chuckled in amusement.

"Does he know that?" Aaron asked curiously.

"Yes, Aaron, he knows," the blue-eyed blonde insisted. "We're just friends-with-benefits, I guess. He doesn't pressure me to do anything I don't want to do, and I don't pressure him. Seriously, Aaron, you might like him if you'd give him a chance."

"Yeah, not fucking likely," Aaron admitted truthfully. 

"Aaron, that's not fair," Shepard scolded. 

"I know, and I can't fucking help it," the green-eyed teen said with a laugh. "I'm a horrible bastard, eh."

"Uh-huh, look, can you take me or not?" The young blonde asked, growing tired of the back-and-forth.

"Can I meet the guy?" Aaron asked seriously.

"That depends. Can you behave yourself?" Shepard asked firmly.

"I'll certainly do my best," the green-eyed teen promised.

"Fine, you can meet him," the blue-eyed teen agreed. "Please, don't make me regret this, Aaron."

"J, I would never…" Aaron smirked.

"Uh-huh," Shepard replied in amusement. "I'm ready when you are."

"One more cup, and we'll be on our way, eh." Aaron insisted with a wink.

"Sounds good," Shepard replied as he took another drink.

**~~~☆~~~**

"So, what does this guy do for a living?" Aaron asked, casually, as he continued towards their destination.

"Um… Don't know," Shepard lied as he continued to look out the window, trying his best to avoid his friend's stare.

"Come on, you have to have an idea," the green-eyed teen insisted, "Does he work from home?"

"Yeah, pretty much," the blue-eyed blonde said as he fidgeted in his seat.

"Are you feeling anxious today, J?" Aaron asked, obviously concerned for his friend.

"A little," Shepard admitted, "I forgot to bring my meds."

"J, you know you can't be doing that," the older teen scolded. "You know how dangerous that can be for you."

"I know, but my new foster mom was kinda in my way, so I didn't get to bring them," Shepard explained nervously.

"How was she in your way?" Aaron laughed in amusement. "You're going to have to explain that one to me."

"She was on my bed," the young blonde deadpanned.

"What?" Aaron laughed in disbelief. "You're joking, right?"

"I wish. She's been acting weird ever since I got there. Last night, before you texted for me to come over, I found her on my bed, dressed in lingerie, waiting for me," Shepard explained anxiously. "She's really beginning to freak me out."

Aaron's laughter immediately stopped. "J, that's not right. You need to tell Daniel. He can get you out of there, yeah."

"I'm only supposed to be there for a couple of months. I'm pretty sure I can avoid her until then," the blue-eyed teen assured with a confident smile.

"I dunno, J," the green-eyed teen said with uncertainty. "Two months is longer than you think, and this woman seems to be escalating quickly."

"It'll be fine, Aaron," Shepard assured. "If she keeps it up, I'll just tell her I'm gay. Problem solved."

"I hope so," Aaron said solemnly. 

"It'll be fine, Aaron. I promise," the young blonde said with a wink.

"Is this the place, J?" The green-eyed teen asked as he pulled into the parking lot.

"Yep," Shepard replied with a grin. 

"Seriously? He can afford a condo?" Aaron asked curiously. "He's not a drug dealer, is he, J?"

"Aaron, please, just stop," the young blonde pleaded in irritation.

"He **is** , isn't he?" The green-eyed boy asked seriously.

"He sells pot. That's all," Shepard admitted. "It's not that serious."

"He's still a fucking dealer, J!" Aaron reminded the young blonde.

"Aaron, don't you dare pull that shit," the blue-eyed teen replied in annoyance. "How many times have you and Ryan smoked? So, don't you dare judge him based on that."

"It's not the same thing, J," Aaron explained, "Buying it and selling it are two very different things."

"Would it make you feel any better to know that he smokes it too?" Shepard asked in disappointment.

"No, not really," the green-eyed teen answered truthfully. 

"I don't want you to say anything rude to him," the young blonde said nervously. "I shouldn't have told you, and I don't want Alex to be upset with me. So, promise me that you won't say anything about the weed. Please, Aaron."

"I won't say anything," Aaron promised. "Just promise me you'll be careful around this guy. Don't get too attached to him, eh."

"Whatever," Shepard mumbled as he opened the car door. "Are you coming or not?"

"Yeah," the older teen answered as he followed his young friend. "I want to see what kind of man he is."

**~~~☆~~~**

It didn't take long for the two to make it to the apartment door. 

**KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK—**

"Are you sure he's here, J?" Aaron asked curiously.

"Yeah, I'm sure," Shepard assured as he knocked once more.

This time Aaron could hear someone stirring behind the door.

"Hey, blue-eyes," Alex smiled as he pulled Shepard in for a quick kiss, causing Aaron to work his jaw in annoyance. "Who's your friend?"

"Uh, this is Aaron. I know you've heard me mention him before," Shepard explained. "Aaron, this is Alex."

"Pleasure to meet you, Aaron," the older man grinned as he offered his hand to the green-eyed teen.

"Likewise," Aaron replied as he reluctantly shook the man's offered hand.

"I'm gonna go put my pack away," Shepard said anxiously, eager to get away from the building tension.

"You do that, blue-eyes," Alex grinned as he watched the young blonde disappear into the house. "Would you like to come in?"

"No, thank you," the green-eyed teen said in a harsh tone. 

"I'm sensing some animosity between us," Alex observed, "Which is odd, considering we've only just met. Care to let me in on the issue?"

"I don't have anything against you," Aaron assured. "I just don't trust you with my J."

" **Your** J?" Alex repeated in an amused tone. "I didn't know he was taken. In fact, to my knowledge, he's free as a bird."

"J's more mine than anyone else's," the green-eyed teen informed the older man. "I know your kind — you're just using J. All he is to you is just another good time."

"Is that right?" The older man chuckled in amusement. "Look, kid, I hate to disappoint you, but you couldn't be further from the truth. I happen to adore Shepard, and while it's true, we **do** have a good time, he means far more to me than 'just another good time'."

"You expect me to believe that?" Aaron asked skeptically.

"Believe whatever you want," Alex insisted. "It doesn't bother me, one way or the other. It's obvious you're in love with him. So why don't you get off your ass, and do something about it, instead of judging those of us with the balls enough to actually try."

"Look, jackass," Aaron replied in irritation, "Just don't hurt my J, and we won't ever have a problem."

"Uh-huh," Alex grinned as Shepard returned to the door.

"Are you two playing nice?" The blue-eyed blonde asked, dreading the answer.

"Of course, blue-eyes," Alex grinned as he slipped his arm around Shepard's narrow waist, loving the look of jealousy on Aaron's face. "I always play nice."

"I'm going to head out, J," Aaron said as he kissed his blue-eyed friend on the forehead. "Call me if you need anything. I love you, yeah."

"I will," Shepard replied with a lopsided grin. "Love you too, Aaron. Thanks again for the ride."

"Later, J." The green-eyed teen waved as he made his way out of the building.

"Ready to hit the books?" Alex asked with a smile.

"Yep," Shepard replied as he followed the older man further into the apartment.

"How about a reward program," Alex suggested with a wicked smile.

"Oh, what did you have in mind?" The young blonde asked with a knowing grin.

"For every question you get right," the older man explained, "I'll do something to make you feel good."

"And if I get it wrong?" Shepard asked curiously.

"Then I'll work you up, but I'll refuse you any release," Alex grinned wickedly. "No matter how much you beg, I won't allow you any relief."

"Fair enough," the young blonde agreed with a chuckle. 

"That's my boy," Alex chuckled. "Let's begin then, shall we?"

"Hell, yes," Shepard laughed as he quickly removed his shirt in anticipation of the lesson.

**~~~☆~~~**

**Six hours later —**

"I have to say, this is by far, my favourite way to study," the blue-eyed blonde admitted as he languidly kissed the older man, enjoying the feel of the older man's body against him.

"Was it effective, though?" Alex asked curiously as he held the young teen tighter.

"I think so," Shepard assured the older man. "I guess we'll find out tomorrow."

"You want me to take you? I don't mind," Alex offered.

"I'd like that," the young blonde replied softly. "If it's not too much trouble."

"It's no trouble," the dark-haired man assured. "I have something for you. It's really good shit. It'll help calm you down when you're feeling like a caged animal."

Shepard watched as the older man handed him a bag. "I can pay you for it," the young teen offered.

"Nah, don't worry about it," Alex insisted. "Think of it as a belated birthday present."

"Thanks for this," Shepard replied softly. "I didn't get to take my meds this morning, so this is much-needed."

"Why didn't you say something earlier?" Alex asked as he reached into the bedside drawer. "Here, this one's all ready to go."

Alex quickly lit the joint and handed it to the young teen. 

"Appreciated," Shepard said as he gratefully took a long drag.

"I hope it makes you feel better," Alex said sympathetically. "Have you considered taking a depot shot? That would be one less thing to worry about every day."

"Yeah, I'm considering it, but I'd still have to take my anti-seizure medication. That don't come in a shot," Shepard explained.

"Yeah, but missing that one every now and then isn't half as bad as missing the others," Alex reminded the young blonde.

"True enough," the blue-eyed blonde agreed as he passed the joint to the older man.

"Can you stay here tonight?" Alex asked as he took his hit and passed it back to the teen.

"I'm not sure," Shepard answered truthfully, "I spent the night at Aaron's last night. I don't know if the Grants would let me stay out again. I'll have to call and see."

"So, have you and Aaron ever…" Alex asked curiously.

"Ever what? Fucked?" Shepard replied bluntly. "No. Why do you ask?"

"He just seems so attached to you," Alex explained, "The fact that he hates my guts, screams jealousy to me. So, I guess I just assumed that you two had fucked at least once."

The young teen laughed at the older man. "Aaron has a girlfriend."

"So? What's your point?" Alex chuckled.

"My point is, he would never see me that way," Shepard replied with a shrug.

"Blue-eyes, you are so clueless, you know that?" Alex teased. "That guy wants to fuck you so bad — he's on the verge of going crazy. It's obvious in the way he looks at you."

"I don't think so," the blue-eyed teen insisted.

"Alright, whatever you say, blue-eyes," Alex grinned as he handed the young blonde his house phone. "Go ahead and call the Grants. If you can't stay tonight, I'll pick you up at your place early in the morning."

"Okay," Shepard replied as he dialed the number. "Ed, this is Shepard. Can I spend the night at my friend's place? He's going to take me to take my test tomorrow." … "I appreciate it, thanks."

"I take it you have their blessing," Alex grinned as he texted away on his cell phone.

"Yep." The blue-eyed blonde answered simply.

"I'm ordering some food. How does Italian sound?" Alex asked.

"Sounds good. I'm starving," Shepard admitted.

"Once we've eaten, we can have some real fun, eh," Alex said with a wink.

"Hell, yes," the blue-eyed teen agreed with a fox-like grin.

**~~~☆~~~**

"Wake up, blue-eyes," Alex whispered softly into his young lover's ear, causing the teen to stir.

"Hn…" Shepard groaned as he opened his sapphire eyes.

"Time to get up," Alex instructed as he kissed the teen softly. "We have to be there by ten."

"Wanna take a shower with me?" The blue-eyed teen asked with a yawn.

"Of course," Alex chuckled as he helped Shepard to his feet and led him to the washroom.

Once they had their shower, the two quickly made their way to the learning centre, and before Shepard knew it, he was entering the building.

"Good luck on your test," Alex called out, causing the young teen to smile back as he disappeared behind the door.

**~~~☆~~~**

Alex waited patiently for the teen to exit the building, eager to know whether the young blonde passed. 

"Here he comes," Alex said to himself, grinning as he leaned over to open the car door for the blue-eyed teen. "How did it go?"

"Good," Shepard assured as he gave the older man a quick kiss. "I'm pretty sure I passed."

"That's excellent! Shall we celebrate?" Alex asked with a smile. "Maybe pick up some food — sit by the water while we eat. Whattaya say?"

"Sounds good," the blue-eyed teen replied with a grin.

"Buckle up," Alex said with a wink as he started the car and headed out.

**~~~☆~~~**

**Later that evening —**

"Come see me again soon, huh, blue-eyes," Alex said as he kissed the young blonde goodbye.

"I will," Shepard replied as he retrieved his pack from the back. "Thanks for helping me, and, you know, for the gift. I appreciate it."

"No problem," the older man assured. "Later, blue-eyes."

Shepard waved as he watched the older man drive away before entering the house.

"I'm home," Shepard called out as he made his way towards his bedroom. 

"Johnny, can you help me?" Stephanie called out, causing the teen to stop in his tracks. "I'm in the bedroom. I need help moving the dresser."

'Seriously?' The young blonde thought to himself as he made his way to the bedroom.

"Mrs. Grant?" The blue-eyed teen called out as he entered the room.

"Turn around, Johnny," the chestnut-haired woman said in a seductive voice as she quickly shut the door.

Shepard turned around to find his new foster mother leaning against the bedroom door, wearing nothing but a smile.

"What the actual fuck?" Shepard asked in disbelief.

"I've noticed you, Johnny," Stephanie said softly, "Those intense blue eyes, that incredible body — I thought that maybe we could have a little fun. Whattaya say, Johnny? You wanna have a little fun?"

"Look, lady, you're barking up the wrong goddamn tree," the young blonde snapped, growing more irritated by the second.

"Baby, if this is about the age difference, let me assure you, older women really know how to fuck," Stephanie insisted. "Trust me, baby, I'm gonna blow your mind in ways you can only imagine."

_'Un-fucking-likely!'_ The voice snickered in amusement.

"It ain't your age — it's your fucking gender. I'm gay. I have absolutely no interest in you or your pussy. So, please open the goddamn door, and let me the fuck out of here," Shepard demanded, sick of Mrs. Grant's behaviour.

"You're what?" The chestnut-haired woman asked in shock.

"GAY! G-A-Y. I like dick," the blue-eyed teen explained loudly. "Do you get it now? Gay. So, please — get the hell out of my way."

"You're seriously turning me down?" Stephanie screamed. "How dare you!? You'll pay for this, you little faggot!"

"Whatever," Shepard said as he rolled his eyes at the irate woman, pushing her out of his way as he made his way to his bedroom.

"That ungrateful brat! Wait until Ed gets back," Stephanie thought aloud. "I'll teach that kid to cross me!"

**~~~☆~~~**

Stephanie waited patiently for her husband's return. The second her husband entered the door, Stephanie began to spin her story.

"Ed, you need to teach that kid a lesson," the chestnut-haired woman explained, "He tried to seduce me. I refused him, and he practically tried to rape me. I had to lock myself in my room. It was horrible."

"Did he now?" Ed asked as he got a beer from the fridge. 

"Ed, I'm serious," Stephanie insisted. "You need to teach the little bastard a lesson!"

"Fine! Let me finish my beer, then I'll take care of it," Ed promised as he took another swig of his beer.

"Thank you, baby," Stephanie cooed as she kissed him on the cheek. "I'm going out with the girls. Try not to kill the little bastard."

Ed chuckled a little at his wife. "I'll try my best not to kill him."

"I'll be back soon, baby," Stephanie replied as she made her way out of the apartment.

"Johnny, get your ass out here," Ed yelled, eager to get things over with.

"You wanted to see me," Shepard asked tiredly.

"What's this shit about you trying to fuck my wife?" Ed asked in an irritated tone.

"Is that what she told you?" The blue-eyed teen asked in disgust. "She's fucking lying. She tried to get me to fuck her, but I told her I wasn't interested."

"You really expect me to believe that a perfectly healthy young man, such as yourself, refused a prime piece like my wife," Ed laughed, "Not fucking likely, boy."

"Look, I'll tell you what I told her, I am not interested in your wife or her pussy. I'm gay. So, there's no way in hell I would ever touch your wife," Shepard explained.

"You like cock?" Ed asked before bursting out into laughter.

"Yeah, I do," the young blonde said with a growl.

"That's just great," Ed chuckled, "It's about time I got to enjoy the spoils of this foster shit."

"What?" Shepard asked, confused by the man's words.

Ed walked close to Shepard, only stopping to punch the young blonde hard in the stomach, causing him to fall on one knee. "Stay right there, boy," Ed instructed as he began to unfasten his belt. "I'll bet you're a great cock-sucker. You got them full pouty lips."

"I swear to god if you even think of pulling your dick out, I'll bite it off," Shepard warned, causing the man to strike him hard across the face, rattling the young blonde.

"What was that, you little cunt?" Ed screamed as he continued to hit the boy. "If that's the way you want it, then you can just take your ass whooping instead."

The man began to beat the young teen violently, hitting the blonde several times in the side of the head, before finally kicking the blonde hard in the chest.

_'He's going to fucking kill you!'_ The voice panicked, _'You need to get the fuck out of here.'_

'I don't feel right… I feel sick…' Shepard thought as he tried his best to protect his head from the violent onslaught.

The man continued to beat the boy until Shepard eventually fell still.

"That'll teach you," Ed said as he opened another beer.

"Ed, I'm home," Stephanie called out as she made her way into the house, stopping in shock as she saw the condition of the young teen. "Christ, Ed! I told you to teach him a lesson, not fucking kill him," Stephanie yelled in fear.

"Relax, he ain't dead," Ed assured her. "Go get that fucking pack he always carries around with him, stuff it full of clothes. We'll dump him in an alley, and tell the social worker he ran away. Problem solved."

"And how the fuck are you going to carry him to the car?" Stephanie asked in confusion.

" **We're** going to carry him to the car," Ed corrected his delusional wife. "This is your problem too, princess."

"Fine!" Stephanie agreed, knowing not to go against her husband. "I'll go get his pack."

It took the couple half-an-hour to load the injured teen into the vehicle, and another fifteen minutes to dump him in a nearby alleyway.

"What are we going to do if he comes to?" Stephanie asked, "Do you think they'll believe him over us?"

"Trust me, honey, this boy won't say shit," Ed assured. "He ain't exactly stable, and he fucking knows it. Trust me, baby. We are in the clear."

"I hope you're right," Stephanie replied as they made their way back to their apartment, leaving the young blonde beaten and broken in a cold, dark alleyway— 

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Shepard can't catch a break. I promise it will get better for him. =)
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	22. Homeless & Happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard somehow manages to get help, and eventually ends up on the streets where he thrives...
> 
> Shepard and Aaron talk about sex.
> 
> **This chapter contains mild recreational drug use.**

It was several hours before Shepard finally regained consciousness. Alone, and in great pain, the blue-eyed teen slowly began to assess his situation. Shepard could tell from the pain that he was in pretty bad shape — his eyes were nearly swollen shut, it hurt to breathe, and he couldn't move his right shoulder. Looking around the area, the young blonde glanced upon his familiar black pack. 

After struggling for a bit, Shepard was able to pull the pack close enough to examine its contents. The blue-eyed teen was shocked to find that all of his clothes had been shoved haphazardly into his pack. 

_'If they wanted to kick you out, they could have done it without beating the hell out of you,'_ the voice said in anger. _'Is it too much to hope that they left your phone in there?'_

Shepard continued searching the pack, pleasantly surprised when he found that all of his belongings, including his cell phone, were still inside. 

The young blonde tried desperately to dial for help. It took three attempts, but Shepard finally managed to dial Aaron's number.

"He's not answering," the blue-eyed teen mumbled as the call went straight to voicemail.

 _'Any idea where we are?'_ The voice asked, causing Shepard to look around for anything familiar.

"I-I can't tell from here," Shepard said, truthfully, as he tried his best to get up from the alley-floor.

Once he was up, the blue-eyed teen carefully placed his pack across his left shoulder, before staggering out onto the main sidewalk. Taking time to look at his surroundings, Shepard was 95% certain that he was on East Cordova Street, not far from Aaron's apartment.

 _'You have the strangest kind of luck,'_ the voice mused as he encouraged the battered boy to make his way to the green-eyed teen's apartment. _'I know this is going to suck, but you have to keep going. Aaron's apartment is just down the street. It's not far now. Just keep walking.'_

Shepard staggered in pain, but stayed his course, swallowing down the pain as he continued on. The young blonde didn't know exactly how long it had taken, but he had finally made it. The teen had just enough strength to knock on the door three times before collapsing, boneless, against the door.

Aaron opened the door, only to find his beloved J lying in a heap at his feet. 

"J! J, what the hell happened," Aaron asked as he cautiously examined his young friend, gasping when he finally got a good look at the battered teen. "Who did this to you, J?" 

The green-eyed teen gently manoeuvred the young blonde into the apartment and onto the couch. Once he had gotten Shepard safely to the couch, Aaron retrieved his cell and attempted to call 911, when the blue-eyed teen suddenly grasped the older teen's hand.

"N-no… No hospital," Shepard explained through the pain, "T-they'll send me back. No more, Aaron, please."

"Send you back," Aaron repeated in understanding, "J, did your foster dad do this to you?"

The young blonde nodded slowly. "I'm tired… Please don't make me go back, Aaron."

Aaron's heart broke for his J. "Okay, J," the green-eyed teen replied softly as he gently stroked his J's dark-blonde hair. "I won't call, but I think you need to lie down. I'll help you to the bed, yeah."

Aaron could tell from the sounds Shepard made that he was in a great deal of pain. Once the green-eyed teen had made sure that the battered teen was as comfortable as possible, he picked up his cell, and called the only person he could think of for help—

"Mr. Smith, this is Aaron," the older teen greeted nervously, unsure as to whether he was doing the right thing. "I… uh… I have a bit of an issue, and I could **really** use your help." … "No, this isn't about Elise." … "I need you to come to my apartment. I have a bit of a medical emergency, and I don't have anyone else to turn to." … "I can't call 911." … "It's complicated. Please, can you just come over? I promise to explain everything, then." … "Thanks. I appreciate it. See you soon."

Aaron sighed as he turned his attention to Shepard, who had bolted upright in the bed. "Are you alright, J?" The older teen asked in a worried tone.

"Aaron, I think I'm gonna be sick," the blue-eyed teen admitted as Aaron quickly handed the sick teen a small trash can.

Aaron watched anxiously, as Shepard continued to vomit. "Is your head okay, J? Do you have a headache or anything? You aren't dizzy, are you?"

"No, I just feel sick," the blue-eyed blonde answered honestly. "I feel like I'm gonna have another goddamn seizure. I'm trying to fight it, but I don't know if I can."

"Jesus, J," Aaron said as he stroked Shepard's dark-blonde hair, "Are you sure you don't need to go to the ER? What if you have bleeding in your brain? Please, J, let me take you — just to be sure, eh?"

"No! I ain't got a bleed," the blue-eyed teen insisted. "It's just a normal seizure coming on. Trust me, Aaron. I know my body."

Aaron sighed in frustration. "You are so fucking stubborn, J!"

No sooner than those words left Aaron's mouth, did Shepard's body go taut, before convulsing violently on the bed. 

"Shit!" Aaron cursed as he began timing the seizure. To Aaron's great relief, the seizure only lasted about three minutes. "You're going to be okay, J. I'm right here, baby," the older teen assured as he gently turned Shepard onto his side.

It took another ten minutes for Shepard to recover. "You okay, baby?" Aaron whispered as he gently stroked the young blonde's sweat-soaked hair. 

The young blonde just nodded as he clenched his eyes in pain. "It hurts to move," Shepard groaned as he tried to turn onto his back.

Seeing his J beginning to struggle, Aaron gently turned the young teen onto his back. "Better?"

Shepard nodded slowly in reply, flinching a bit when he heard a loud knock at the door.

"It's okay, J. No one's going to take you anywhere you don't want to go. I promise," Aaron assured his battered friend, before going to answer the door.

**~~~☆~~~**

"Mr. Smith, thank god you came," Aaron said as he invited the older man in.

"Aaron, son, what's this about?" Michael asked as he took off his coat, draping it across the back of the couch. "You look fine, so what's the emergency?"

"First, you have to promise me that you won't call the authorities," Aaron insisted.

"Son, you know damn well I can't promise something like that," the doctor said with a concerned look on his face.

"Please," Aaron begged, "My friend needs help, and he doesn't want to go back into the foster system. The system has caused him nothing but pain. I can't just send him back against his will, yeah."

"It's Shepard, isn't it?" Michael asked, fully aware of his young patient's history. "What's happened? Did he have an episode?"

"No, nothing like that," Aaron assured. 

"Then tell me what's happened," the doctor insisted.

"His foster father beat the hell out of him," the green-eyed teen answered truthfully. "He looks pretty bad. His eyes are nearly swollen shut, he's covered in bruises, and he had a seizure about fifteen minutes ago. Please, help him."

"Where is he?" Michael asked, concerned for his young patient.

"I'll take you to him, but only if you promise not to call social services," Aaron insisted.

"I promise — unless he needs treatment that I can't give — if that happens, he's going to the hospital. That's not negotiable, Aaron," the doctor warned.

"If my J needs a hospital, then I'll be the first to dial 911," Aaron assured. "I promise."

"Take me to him," Michael instructed.

"Follow me," Aaron said as he led the man to his bedroom.

**~~~☆~~~**

**One hour later —**

"His right shoulder will be sore for a while. I managed to pop it back into place, but he needs to wear a brace for a few days," Michael instructed. "You can give him over-the-counter anti-inflammatory painkillers for the pain. Ice the shoulder to reduce swelling. If the swelling on his face doesn't subside soon, take him to the ER. If he has another seizure, take him to the ER. If his pain worsens, take him to the ER."

"I understand. I'll take him to the ER if anything happens," Aaron promised.

"Make sure he takes his anti-seizure medication. I gave him a depot shot. That will take care of his anti-psychotic medication for the next four weeks. You have to make sure he continues taking the others," the doctor insisted.

"Wait, you brought a depot shot with you?" Aaron asked in confusion. 

"I had a hunch," Michael smiled knowingly at the green-eyed teen. "As soon as I got the call, I just assumed Shepard needed help. Of course, I thought he had another psychotic-break. I don't know if the reality of his condition is better or worse than I expected. The only thing I know for certain is that Shepard's a tough kid, a good kid, and he doesn't deserve this garbage. So, don't worry, son, I won't tell anyone he's here. Doctor-patient confidentiality," Michael winked as he gathered his coat from the couch.

"Thanks. It means a lot, eh," Aaron said gratefully.

"Aaron, son, you know I like you. You're a great kid, but why the hell are you wasting time with my daughter?" Michael asked bluntly.

"E-excuse me?" Aaron asked nervously.

" _Sigh—_ Aaron, I love Elise, and even though I deeply disagree with her views, she's my daughter. In all the years you've been with Elise, I have never once seen you look at her the way you look at that boy. When you look at Shepard, it's obvious you love him. So, I'll ask again, why are you wasting time with my daughter?" 

"I-I… I care about Elise. I really do," Aaron insisted.

"I **know** that. You care about everyone. It's in your nature," Michael laughed, amused by the green-eyed teen's nervousness. "I don't doubt that, but I also know that you will **never** **love** my daughter."

"Are you telling me to break-up with Elise," the green-eyed teen asked in confusion.

"No. What goes on between you and my daughter, well, that's between you and my daughter," Michael explained, "I just don't want you to make the same mistake I made. I married a woman I despised, just because I was afraid to go against my family. It was only a year ago that I finally had the courage to end that lie. Twenty years wasted — when I could have been happy with the woman I truly love. Instead, I asked the woman I love to sneak around with me. I treated her like my dirty little secret. And in a way, I guess she was. I was fortunate, Aaron — my love agreed to the charade. She even stood by me through the divorce. She put up with all the awful things Elise and her mother said. Most would have left — I was very lucky, not everyone is. So, don't waste your life, Aaron — not when you have the love-of-your-life right at your fingertips. Life is too damn short."

Aaron stood in shock at the man's words. "I-I wish it were that simple."

"Nothing is ever simple when it comes to love and relationships," Michael chuckled. "It's maddening, but know that I'll support you when the time comes."

"Are you going to tell Elise about my feelings for J?" Aaron asked curiously.

"Son, trust me, she knows," Michael grinned. "Elise is a lot of things, but she's not stupid. She's just in denial. But, on the off chance that she **is** that stupid, then no, I won't tell her. Just don't try to marry her. I wouldn't allow it. She's still my little girl. She may hate me, but I still want her to be happy."

"I understand," the green-eyed teen assured as he shook the man's hand in gratitude, before leading him to the door.

"Oh, and you might not want to tell Elise about me helping Shepard," Michael pleaded, "She already despises me enough."

"Trust me, I won't," Aaron laughed as he saw the man out. "Thanks again for helping my J."

"No problem," Michael said with a smile, "Just don't make it a habit. I'd like to keep my licence."

"Yeah, I'll try not to," Aaron chuckled. "Goodnight, Mr. Smith."

"Aaron, call me Michael," the older man instructed.

"Okay, Michael."

"Goodnight, son."

**~~~☆~~~**

Once the doctor had left, Aaron returned to his J. Totally prepared to watch over the young blonde for the rest of the night.

"Aaron," Shepard called out, just loud enough for Aaron to hear.

"Yeah, baby," Aaron mumbled from his chair as he rubbed his tired eyes.

"You can sleep beside me if you want," the young blonde suggested, feeling guilty that his friend looked so uncomfortable. "The bed's plenty big enough."

"I don't want to cause you any unnecessary pain," the green-eyed teen explained. "I'm afraid I'll jostle you too much."

"Aaron, I'll be fine," Shepard insisted, "Now get your ass in the bed."

The green-eyed teen couldn't help but laugh at his demanding friend. "Always so bossy."

"Damn right, now come lie beside me," the blue-eyed blonde commanded.

Aaron threw his hands up in defeat and gently took his place next to the battered teen.

"Let me know if I'm hurting you, yeah," Aaron said as he moved a little closer to the young blonde.

"You won't," Shepard replied, confidently, as he placed the older teen's arm over his stomach. "I like knowing you're with me. It helps me sleep."

Aaron kissed the blue-eyed blonde softly on the cheek as he settled in for the night. "Goodnight, J."

"'Night, Aaron," Shepard mumbled as he finally let sleep take him.

**~~~☆~~~**

**Three days later —**

"Are you sure you should be moving around so much, J?" The green-eyed teen asked as he continued to watch the young blonde make coffee.

"I'm not used to sitting still, doing nothing," Shepard admitted. "Besides, I feel fine."

"Yeah, well, you're still bruised pretty badly, and your eyes are all bloody," Aaron informed the young teen. "So, going by appearances, there's no way you are feeling as good as you're acting."

"Aaron, I'm telling you, it looks worse than it is," the blue-eyed teen assured. 

"Uh-huh," Aaron replied doubtfully.

**KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK —**

"I wonder who that could be?" The green-eyed teen asked as he made his way to the door.

"If it's someone asking for me, I ain't here," Shepard replied with a grin as Aaron answered the door.

"Elise, what are you doing here?" Aaron asked nervously. "I thought we were going to meet later."

"We were — but, I got bored. I didn't have anything to do, so I decided to visit my man. Is that a problem?" Elise asked as she barged her way into her boyfriend's apartment, freezing in her tracks when she saw the young blonde.

"Shit," Shepard cursed as he rubbed his face in frustration.

"Aaron, what the hell is he doing here?" Elise yelled as she threw her purse and jacket onto the couch.

"Relax, Elise," Aaron said as he made his way towards the kitchen. "J's staying for a few days while he heals, yeah."

"And what did he do to get his ass kicked like that? Did someone finally get tired of that smart-ass mouth of his?" Elise asked with a satisfied grin. 

"Elise, come on," the green-eyed teen begged, "Don't be like that, eh."

"Fine, I'll behave," Elise promised as she kissed Aaron gently on the mouth. "I think I'll spend the night. Is that alright with you, baby?"

Shepard tensed at the young woman's words. 

"S-sure," Aaron agreed halfheartedly, giving Shepard an apologetic look. "That's fine, babe."

"I can go, if you'd like," the young blue-eyed teen said as he fidgeted nervously in his seat.

"No, you can stay, J," Aaron insisted. "Elise doesn't mind."

Elise rolled her eyes at her green-eyed lover but chose to remain silent.

"If you're sure," the young blonde replied as he continued to bounce his knee.

"Positive, J," the green-eyed teen assured with a sincere smile.

The rest of the day went by without incident, surprising both Shepard and Aaron. And before they knew it, it was night. 

"Aaron, baby, I think it's time we went to bed. Don't you?" Elise asked as she nibbled her boyfriend's ear.

"Uh-huh. We're going to bed," Aaron informed the young blonde. "Is that okay with you, J?"

"I guess," Shepard shrugged as he watched the young couple make their way to the bedroom.

"Goodnight, J," Aaron called out as he opened the bedroom door.

"'Night," the young blonde mumbled as the young couple disappeared behind the door.

Shepard could tell from the noises coming from the room just what the young couple was up to, and it made the blue-eyed teen sick to his stomach.

 _'Jeez, who would have thought Aaron could be so loud,'_ the voice teased.

"Shut up," Shepard demanded, "I don't wanna hear it! I need to get the hell outta here."

The young blonde made up his mind, and within minutes he was on his way to Keefer Street.

**~~~☆~~~**

**KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK —**

"Blue-eyes, what the hell happened to you?" Alex asked in a concerned voice as he let the young blonde in.

"I'm fine. It looks worse than it is," Shepard assured as he took off his hoodie, and put his pack away.

"Those beautiful blue eyes are all filled with red," Alex said sadly, as he touched the tender bruised skin below Shepard's left eye, "It looks painful."

"I'm fine," the young blonde smiled. "I appreciate the concern, though."

"Uh-huh… And what brings you to my humble abode?" The dark-haired man asked in amusement. 

"I was just wondering if maybe you'd be interested in having a good time," Shepard said as he ran his hand slowly down the older man's chest.

"Now, how can I pass up an offer like that?" Alex grinned as he kissed the young teen deeply, pulling the blue-eyed teen close.

"Let's not waste any more time then, eh," the young blonde suggested as he took hold of the older man's shirt. "A dress shirt… Sexy," Shepard commented, ignoring the pain in his shoulder as he tore the shirt open, causing buttons to scatter.

"Easy, baby," Alex chuckled in amusement, "You in a hurry?"

"Hell, yes, I am," the blue-eyed teen admitted as he kissed the older man hard, pushing him down onto the couch. 

"What are you up to, blue-eyes?" Alex asked with a grin.

"I'm going to ride you — right here on the couch," Shepard replied with a wink.

"It's my lucky day," the older man chuckled as the young teen quickly removed the rest of his clothing. "Condoms are in the top drawer — there should be some lube in there as well."

Alex watched as the young blonde gathered what they would need, moaning when the blue-eyed blonde took him into his mouth.

"Mmm… Baby, you are so fucking great at this," Alex praised as he began to thrust into the young teen's mouth, loving the feel of the blonde's mouth on his sex.

Alex whimpered when Shepard let him fall from his mouth. 

"You ready to fuck me?" The young blonde asked as he quickly put a condom on the older man.

"Take a seat, blue-eyes," Alex winked as Shepard straddle his waist. Alex watched as the young teen slowly impaled himself on his cock. " _Moan…_ You feel so fucking good! So hot and tight…"

Shepard's bloody sapphire eyes closed in ecstasy as he quickly adjusted to the size of the man inside him.

"I love your cock," the blue-eyed teen admitted as he started to move, "It fills me up just right."

"Does it feel good? Can you feel me deep inside you?" Alex asked as he revelled in the feeling of being so deep inside the young teen.

"Fuck yes," Shepard replied truthfully, as he began to fuck himself on the older man's cock.

"Your body's so fucking perfect," Alex praised as he began to thrust up wildly into the young blue-eyed blonde.

Shepard just laughed as he continued to ride Alex hard, loving the feel of the older man inside of him. 

Needless to say, it didn't take long until Shepard had them both cumming hard — their bodies convulsing in pleasure as they rode out their climax.

Alex pulled the young blonde close, kissing him hard in appreciation. "That was one of the best orgasms I've had in a long time."

"It was pretty great, wasn't it," Shepard agreed with a grin as he kissed the man's chest gently. "We're all sticky. Sorry about the sweat and, uh, other stuff. I hope we didn't ruin your couch."

"Don't you dare apologize," Alex chuckled, "If the couch is ruined, then it was a necessary sacrifice."

Shepard laughed a genuinely amused laugh. "You have got to be the most laid back guy I've ever met."

"Well, I'll take that as a compliment," Alex smiled as he kissed the blue-eyed teen on the top of the head, holding him close as they waited for their heated bodies to cool.

The two sat in comfortable silence as they recovered from their play. It was Alex's voice that finally broke the silence.

"What got into you tonight?" The older man asked curiously.

"Whattaya mean?" The young teen asked, confused by the question.

"Don't get me wrong, I fucking **loved** it, but you aren't usually this eager," Alex explained, "Usually, we can at least make it to the bedroom."

"I had to listen to Aaron fucking his twat of a girlfriend," Shepard admitted honestly, "It pissed me off, but it kinda made me hot. It's stupid, I know."

"It's not stupid at all. You're obviously attracted to Aaron, so it's only natural that you would be aroused by the sounds he makes while having sex," Alex replied with an understanding smile. "And the fact he was with a woman, well, that’s self-explanatory. Of course, you would be pissed off."

"Yeah, I guess," Shepard said with a shrug. "I'm sorry I keep coming over unannounced. I know it must be annoying as fuck."

"Blue-eyes, I don't think I could ever find you annoying," the older man assured the young blonde. "Sexy, yes. Annoying, never."

"I need to get going," the young blonde said as he reluctantly began collecting his discarded clothing.

"You can stay the night," Alex offered. "I don't mind. I love having you in my bed."

"Okay," the blue-eyed blonde agreed. "Just wake me before you leave in the morning, eh."

Alex laughed as he spoke. "I still don't know why you're so uncomfortable being alone in my apartment."

"Because the last time you left me alone here, one of your neighbours threatened to call the cops on me for trespassing," Shepard explained, "I gave up trying to explain things, and just left."

"You must mean Diane," the older man said in realization. "She's a bit odd. You can ignore her."

"Uh-huh," the young blonde said skeptically. 

"Well, I have an early day tomorrow, so let's head to the bedroom, eh, blue-eyes," Alex insisted.

"I am tired," Shepard chuckled with a yawn as he took the older man by the hand, and led him to the bedroom.

**~~~☆~~~**

**BEEP— BEEP— BEEP—**

The green-eyed teen groaned as he tried desperately to hit the snooze button on the alarm clock.

"Elise, you need to get up," Aaron said as he shook his sleeping girlfriend gently. "You're going to be late for your classes."

"Ugh, I hate sleeping over," Elise complained, "This place is so damn far from my campus. You need to move closer to home, Aaron. Your little foray into the DTES was amusing at first, but now it's just plain old."

"I never asked you to stay over," the green-eyed teen reminded his uptight girlfriend. "And I'm not moving. This is closer to my school, and I happen to like it here."

"Whatever, it's too damn early to argue with you," Elise snapped as she made her way to the washroom. "I'm taking a shower."

"You do that," Aaron mumbled as he slowly got dressed.

Once Aaron was dressed, he walked to the living room, looking around in confusion at the empty room. "J, where are you," Aaron called out as he searched for his young friend. "J?"

**~~~☆~~~**

"Why were you yelling?" Elise asked as she continued drying her hair.

"J's gone," Aaron replied in a concerned tone.

"So what? He disappears all the time," Elise reminded as she walked back into the bedroom.

The green-eyed teen just rolled his eyes at his insensitive young girlfriend. "I need to text him," Aaron said aloud as he retrieved his cell phone from the nightstand.

Once he texted the young blonde, Aaron waited patiently for a reply.

**_'I'm fine. Got bored last night — Bugged out. Sorry.' - J_ **

Aaron sighed in relief. "I should have known. He always leaves without telling anyone."

"Did you find your pet fag?" Elise asked as she collected her things to leave.

"Do you really have to call him that?" The green-eyed teen asked in annoyance.

"Oh, relax," Elise insisted as she kissed her annoyed boyfriend on the cheek, "You know I don't mean anything by it. I just don't like the fucker."

"Obviously," Aaron mumbled.

"Well, I'm off," Elise announced as she kissed Aaron goodbye. "Call me tonight. Love you, babe."

"Love you too," Aaron repeated as he waved goodbye before heading to the washroom for a shower.

**~~~☆~~~**

For the next few months, Shepard settled into life on the streets, trying to avoid relying on Aaron and Alex for shelter, not wanting to burden his friends. It didn't take long for the young blonde to find his groove. His work with motorcycles kept enough money in his pocket for food, and as long as the nights remained warm, he saw no need to trouble Aaron or Alex for a place to sleep.

"Shepard," a familiar voice called out, causing the blue-eyed teen to glance up.

'Anderson?' Shepard thought as he made his way towards the man.

 _'Do you think he's here to put you back in the system?'_ The voice asked curiously.

"He wouldn't do that," Shepard replied aloud.

 _'Sure, he wouldn't,'_ the voice replied sarcastically.

"Shut the fuck up," the young blonde mumbled as he finally made it across the street.

"Shepard, it is you," Anderson smiled as he shook the young teen's hand. "You look good, son."

"Thanks. You too," the blue-eyed teen replied as he shoved his hands into his pockets.

"What's this about you running away?" Anderson asked curiously.

"I ain't going back if that's what you wanted to talk about," Shepard replied in a firm tone.

"I'm not here for that," the older man assured. "I'm just curious as to why you left."

"Ed beat the fuck outta me," the blue-eyed teen answered truthfully, as he ran his hand nervously through his own dark-blonde hair, "And I didn't leave, they dumped me in a goddamn alley. So, yeah, I ain't going back."

"I thought it was something like that. I can't say that I blame you for not wanting to go back," Anderson said, his smile turning to a frown when he noticed Shepard's bruised and scabbed over knuckles. "You've been fighting?"

"You mean these," Shepard asked, making a fist to show his knuckles, "I got in a little fight with a thief."

"I see," Anderson chuckled, "I'm assuming the thief lost." 

"Yep," the young teen replied with a cocky grin.

"I think you need a new hoodie," Anderson said as he tugged at the hole in the side of the tattered hoodie.

"Ah, I'll be alright," Shepard replied with a shrug.

"Come with me. I'm going to buy you a new hoodie," the older man insisted, causing the young blonde to freeze in his tracks.

"I ain't got no way to pay you," the blue-eyed teen informed the older man. "And I don't do favours. I ain't a whore."

"What?" Anderson asked sorrowfully, "Why would you ever think that I would ask that of you?"

"'Cause around here, ain't nothing for free," Shepard replied truthfully.

"Son, I'm not trying to hurt you. I just want to help you. I care about you, son. You understand?" Anderson explained, hoping the young blonde would trust him.

'Should I trust him?' The young blonde asked the voice.

 _'I don't see why not,'_ the voice replied, _'He was nice enough when you were in the hospital.'_

"Fine, but only a hoodie," the blue-eyed teen insisted, "I'll pay you back."

Anderson chuckled in amusement at the young blonde. "That won't be necessary. I think you need a new pair of jeans while we're at it," Anderson said as he looked at the holes in the young teen's pants.

"I like these jeans," Shepard chuckled as he followed the older man into the store.

"Uh-huh," Anderson grinned, "You teens will wear anything."

"I guess," the young blonde shrugged as they continued their shopping.

In the end, Shepard ended up with a black hoodie with red and white stripes down the arms and two pairs of jeans, one dark and one light.

"Thanks for this," the blue-eyed teen said gratefully. "And I **will** pay you back."

Anderson nodded at the young teen in amusement as he retrieved a card from his wallet. "Here, I want you to have this. It's my card. I want you to call me whenever you need me. It doesn't matter what time or day of the week. If you need help, you call me."

"T-thanks," Shepard replied as he took the offered card, feeling touched by the gesture.

"You eating okay?" Anderson asked curiously.

"Yeah. I guess," Shepard shrugged as he put the card in his wallet.

"Come on. We'll get something to eat," Anderson offered as he put his hand on the young blonde's shoulder.

"Alright," the blue-eyed teen agreed as they made their way to the nearest restaurant.

Once they had finished their meal, the two parted ways. 

_'That was pleasantly unexpected,'_ the voice mused, _'He's a good person, isn't he? Odd that he would be in this part of town.'_

"Yes, he's a good person, and no, it isn't odd for him to be here," Shepard explained, "He doesn't live here, but he is a cop. He was just here doing his job."

 _'That would explain things,'_ the voice admitted. _'Hey, are you going to visit Aaron? It's been a while since you've been over. I'll bet he's about to lose his shit.'_

"I might," Shepard replied as he automatically began walking in the direction of East Cordova Street.

 _'Uh-huh,'_ the voice teased, _'Looks like that 'might' is quickly becoming a yes.'_

"Shut the fuck up," the blue-eyed teen chuckled at himself as he continued on towards Aaron's place.

**~~~☆~~~**

**KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK —**

Shepard stood outside his best friend's apartment, waiting patiently for the green-eyed teen to answer the door.

"Come on, Aaron," the young blonde complained aloud, "I know you're home, so get your lazy-ass up, yeah."

Just as Shepard was about to knock again, Aaron finally answered the door.

"J! Where the hell have you been?" The older teen asked as he held the blue-eyed teen close, hugging him tightly.

"I've been around," Shepard chuckled, amused by his friend's behaviour. "I've been texting you every day. You know I'm okay."

"Yeah, well, I need to see you more often. I don't exactly trust you to tell me the truth about how you're doing," Aaron said truthfully. "I know you don't like for me to worry."

"Anybody ever tell you, 'you're paranoid'?" The blue-eyed teen said with an irritated look.

"Only you, J," the green-eyed teen chuckled as he led his blue-eyed friend into the apartment. 

The two spent the next few hours laughing and watching television. And when they finally tired of the same old shows, they decided to order a pizza.

"Hey, Aaron, wanna get drunk with me?" Shepard simply asked as he took a bite of his pizza.

"Seriously? I don't think that's a very good idea, J," Aaron chuckled as he continued to eat.

"Pussy," the blue-eyed teen teased with a playful grin.

The green-eyed teen laughed at his beloved J. "I got six beers in the fridge. That's three each. It won't get us drunk, but we can drink them if you want," Aaron explained.

"Sounds good," Shepard agreed as he finished his pizza.

"Go on to the bedroom," the green-eyed teen insisted. "I'll get the beer."

"The bedroom?" The young blonde asked curiously.

Aaron laughed at his J. "Yes, the bedroom. It's late, and there's no way I'm letting you leave here. We can finish these beers then go to sleep."

"Alright then— since I can't leave," Shepard laughed as he made his way to the bedroom.

It wasn't long before the two teens were lying side-by-side, finishing their beer. 

"Do you mind if I smoke?" The young blonde asked as he rummaged through his pack. 

"Smoke what?" Aaron asked curiously.

"A salmon," Shepard snickered a little at his friend. "Weed, dumbass. I ain't got any cigarettes."

"You shouldn't smoke cigarettes, J," the older teen scolded, "They’re bad for you, eh."

"I don't smoke very often. A pack lasts forever," the blue-eyed teen replied. "You never answered me. Can I smoke, or not?"

"Sure, but you gotta give me a hit," Aaron insisted.

"Didn't you just say that shit was bad for me," Shepard chuckled amused by his friend's hypocrisy.

"I said **cigarettes** are bad for you, not weed," the older teen corrected with a grin. "I know it helps you, so I'm okay with you smoking."

"Uh-huh," Shepard chuckled as he lit the joint, taking a deep hit before passing it to Aaron, so he could take his hit.

"That's good shit, huh, J," Aaron said as he exhaled. 

"When was the last time you smoked?" The young blonde asked curiously.

"Jeez, like two months before Ryan left," the green-eyed teen replied truthfully.

"That long, huh," Shepard said as he took another drag.

"That night you left, did you hear Elise and me having sex?" Aaron asked out-of-the-blue, shocking Shepard with his randomness.

"Uh, yeah," the young blonde admitted. "Why do you ask?"

"What did we sound like?" The older teen asked as Shepard finished off the joint.

"Why the hell are you asking me that? I mean, why do you even wanna know?" The blue-eyed teen asked anxiously.

"I'm curious, so— humour me, J," Aaron pleaded.

"Um, you were loud. She was moaning like a bitch, and you were just— loud," Shepard admitted awkwardly.

"How was I loud? What was I saying?" The green-eyed teen asked, genuinely interested in what his J had heard.

"You weren't really **saying** anything," the blue-eyed blonde explained, "You were grunting. You moaned on occasion, but you mostly grunted. You said 'fuck' a lot, and you talked dirty a little. But, just a little."

"Do you like it when your partner talks dirty?" Aaron asked, wanting to know everything he possibly could about his beloved J.

"Well, yeah," Shepard admitted truthfully, "Especially when I want it hard and dirty. Who doesn't? That's normal, right?"

"Yeah, I guess," the older teen agreed. "Do you have to talk dirty to get off?"

Shepard looked at his friend in amusement. "Not always. Why? Do you have to have someone talk dirty to get off?"

Aaron laughed in amusement. "If I needed someone to talk dirty to me, I'd never get off. Elise loves for me to talk dirty, but she refuses to talk dirty to me."

"Fuck that shit! I can't stand fucking around with people like that," Shepard admitted in disapproval. "I think if you want something done to you, then you should be willing to reciprocate. Know what I mean?"

"Yeah, I get that," the green-eyed teen said with a sideways grin. "J, do you like giving head?"

Shepard's heart raced at the question. "W-what?"

"I know that's a bad question to ask someone, but I'm really curious," Aaron explained, "I really want to know. Do you like to suck cock?"

"Yes… I like it a lot, actually," the younger teen admitted quietly. "Do you think that's weird? You know, for a guy to like it?"

"No, of course not, J," Aaron tried to explain, "I just wanted to know if it was different for guys."

"What?" Shepard asked in confusion. "You're going to have to explain, 'cause you lost me."

Aaron laughed a bit. "Elise constantly demands that I go down on her…" 

_'Ew! TMI, dude!'_ The voice said in a disgusted tone. 

'It really was,' Shepard agreed.

"Ew…" The young blonde gagged.

"Very funny, J," Aaron chuckled. "Anyway, I always do it, no complaints, but when she gives me head, she acts like she's doing me this huge favour. She says she loves it, but I feel like she really hates it. So, I was wondering if maybe you secretly hated it, like Elise."

"Nah, I love sucking cock. It ain't an act with me," the young blonde answered bluntly, making Aaron snicker. "What makes you think Elise hates it?" Shepard asked curiously.

"I don't know, it just feels like it to me," the older teen tried to explain. "Maybe I'm imagining things. Do you like getting head?"

"Fuck yeah, I do," the blue-eyed teen replied with a smile. "I got a dick, don't I? Anyone with a dick loves getting it sucked. If they deny it, they're lying, or ain't never had it done before."

"I don't know about that," Aaron replied nervously.

"Get the fuck out!" Shepard replied in shock. "You don't like getting head? Seriously? Come on, Aaron! There's no fucking way that you don't like getting blown."

"I-I don't know. I just don't get what guys see in it. I feel like I'm not getting anything I can't get from my hand," Aaron explained. "Maybe there's something wrong with me."

"How many girls have actually sucked your cock?" Shepard asked, trying to get to the bottom of his beloved friend's problem.

"Uh, three," the older teen replied. "The first time was Ava, and from what I remember, it wasn't bad. It wasn't great, but it **was** good. The second, well, that was Elise. Then I fucked a puck bunny once when I was drunk. She blew me, but not for very long."

"I think I know what the issue is," Shepard insisted, "You ain't never been with anyone who knew what the fuck they were doing."

"You think so? It's funny, 'cause that's, exactly, what Ryan told me," the older teen admitted. "Ryan swears that Elise doesn't know how to handle a cock."

"Ryan's probably right," the young blonde said, grinning at the idea that popped into his pretty little dark-blonde head. "I could go down on you, show you how it's supposed to feel."

Aaron's eyes grew wide, then dilated in lust. "You'd do that? You're serious?"

Shepard laughed at the green-eyed beauty. "Yes, I would, and yes, I'm serious. I guarantee, the minute I take you into my mouth, you'll fucking love getting head. Elise is just an uptight twat that don't know what to do with a perfectly good cock."

"As tempting as that offer is, I don't think I'm nearly drunk enough to actually let you do it," the older boy admitted truthfully.

"Hell, if you need to be drunk, then we'll get drunk," Shepard agreed. "You're having a party next Saturday night, right?"

"Uh, yeah," the green-eyed teen replied in confusion. "Why is that important?"

"It's important because I'm going to suck your cock next Saturday," the blue-eyed blonde informed the older teen bluntly.

"Seriously, J?" Aaron asked in a mixture of anticipation and disbelief. 

"Seriously," Shepard replied with a smirk. "There's no way I'm going to let my best-friend continue to go through life without knowing what a good blowjob feels like."

"I dunno, J," the older teen said, uncertain about the offer. "I don't want things to get weird between us."

"I ain't normal, Aaron. I don't think like other people," the blue-eyed teen explained, "The only way it'll get weird is if **you** make it weird."

"That's what I'm afraid of, J," Aaron admitted truthfully.

"Tell you what, we'll party Saturday, and whatever happens, happens," Shepard suggested. "I won't put any pressure on you. We'll just do whatever feels natural. Deal?"

Aaron sighed nervously, wishing he had kept his big mouth shut. "Okay, J. You win," Aaron agreed anxiously.

"Excellent," the young blonde grinned with a yawn. "I'm tired as fuck. Let's go to sleep, eh."

"Hell yeah, I am so damned tired," the green-eyed teen chuckled as he turned out the light and crawled back into bed. "I might use you for a teddy bear tonight. All this talk is making me lonely."

Shepard laughed at his beloved friend. "You can use me anytime, Aaron."

Aaron groaned at the innuendo, "You're the devil, you know that?" Aaron teased as he lovingly kissed the young blonde on the cheek. "'Night, J. I love you."

"Love you too," Shepard replied with a grin. "Hey, Aaron?"

"Hn?" 

"How many girls have you fucked?" The blue-eyed teen asked curiously.

"Do I really have to answer?" The green-eyed teen groaned.

"No, but I'd like to know," Shepard admitted. "I won't be mad if you don't want to tell me."

"Six," Aaron admitted honestly. "I haven't been the most faithful boyfriend to Elise."

"Why not? Cheating don't seem like something you'd do," the young blonde replied curiously.

"Honestly, J — I'm a dog," Aaron chuckled. "I don't love Elise, so it was easy to say yes to those other girls. I don't do that anymore, though."

"What changed?" Shepard asked quietly.

"I realized it wasn't going to make me any happier, so I stopped," the young green-eyed teen admitted honestly. "Besides, my interests seemed to have— changed."

"If you don't love Elise, why stay?" The blue-eyed teen questioned.

"My mom — she likes Elise. And Elise is familiar to me," Aaron explained, "But, mostly I stay because I'm a big fucking coward who's afraid of his mommy."

Shepard laughed at his beloved friend. "I still love you — coward, or not."

"That means a lot, J," the green-eyed teen said, hugging the younger teen tighter to his chest. 

"Aaron, you're holding on too tight," Shepard informed his green-eyed friend.

"Shit, sorry about that, J," Aaron apologized as he kissed Shepard on the top of the head. "Goodnight, J."

"'Night," the young blonde mumbled as he began drifting off to sleep.

"I love you, baby," Aaron whispered as he cuddled the younger teen close. 'I wonder what Saturday will bring…'

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is all about Shepard and Aaron. ;)
> 
> Two chapters to go!
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	23. Blue & Green Collide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron has his party and it's one hell of night!  
> There are a lot of firsts for Aaron in this chapter. ;)
> 
> **This chapter contains sexual content.**

Saturday came quicker than Aaron had expected, and although he was excited to see where the night would lead, he was extremely nervous as well.

"Ryan, I really wish you were here," Aaron anxiously spoke as he face-timed his best friend. "I'm a nervous wreck."

Ryan laughed a little at his green-eyed friend. "Relax, everything is gonna be great," the grey-eyed teen assured. "You've wanted this for a long time, Aaron. So, do yourself a favour, and just go with it."

"If I screw this up, J will never forgive me," Aaron insisted. "What if it goes further than… well, you know?"

"Would that be so bad?" Ryan asked, obviously amused by his nervous friend. "So what if it goes further. You know you want him, Aaron."

"I know. I want him so fucking bad, my dick hurts just thinking about it," Aaron admitted honestly. "But he isn't legal yet. Maybe, if he were sixteen, I wouldn't feel so anxious about going further."

"Then don't go any further," Ryan suggested, "Just tell him you want to wait until he's sixteen before you go all the way. J will understand."

"I don't know… Maybe this is a mistake. I should probably just wait until he's legal before we do anything at all," the green-eyed teen said nervously.

"What's this 'legal' bullshit you're spouting? You already admitted that you want J. Hell, you even admitted that you're in love with him," Ryan reminded the green-eyed teen. "I don't understand why you're thinking of backtracking. There has to be more to it than his age. What's the real issue, Aaron?"

"It's just… if I do this, then I'm officially gay, or bi, or whatever the hell it makes me," Aaron explained nervously. "I don't know how I feel about that."

"Ouch," Ryan said in a hurt tone. "What's wrong with being gay? You always told me it was fine, and that you loved me no matter what. It's kind of hypocritical for you to say that about yourself, don't you think?"

"Ryan, you know I didn't mean it that way," the green-eyed teen apologized. "I'm okay with being gay, bi, or whatever. I love my J, and that won't ever change. I just know my family won't understand. That scares me, yeah."

"Hello, still in the closet over here," Ryan reminded his best friend. "My parents still don't know. But I'm not ashamed of it. I love who I am."

"Then why haven't you told them," Aaron asked curiously.

"Well, the only reason I haven't told my parents yet, is because I'm afraid of losing them, same as you. Believe me, Aaron, I know exactly how you feel. But please, don't let that fear cost you the love of your life. J is one-of-a-kind, and you'll never find another like him. And if you screw this up, I swear to god I **will not** hesitate to ask him out," Ryan promised with a cheeky grin.

"You'd really do that to your best friend?" Aaron asked in amusement.

"Hell, yes, I would," Ryan laughed. "So, relax, and let it ride, eh."

**KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK —**

"I'll bet that's J," Aaron said as he made his way to the door.

"Good, I've been wanting to see how he's doing," the grey-eyed teen smirked.

"Easy there, tiger. J's mine," Aaron called out as he moved to open the door. 

"Hey, Aaron," Shepard grinned as he entered the apartment.

"I'm face-timing with Ryan," the green-eyed teen explained. "He wants to see you, yeah. So, come, say hello."

"Hey, Walker," the blue-eyed teen greeted with a smile. "You look good. How's Ontario — is work going good, you getting along with everyone?"

"So many questions," Ryan laughed in amusement. "Where do I start?"

"Just answer the questions, Ryan," Shepard chuckled.

"Bossy, isn't he?" Ryan asked his green-eyed friend with a wink.

"You have no idea," Aaron chuckled. "And getting bossier every day."

"Fuck you, both," the young blonde said with a grin. "Are you going to answer me, or not, Walker?"

"Okay, Baby Boy," Ryan chuckled, "Ontario's okay, I miss the hell outta Vancouver, though — well, maybe not so much Vancouver. I mostly just miss you guys. I'm friendly enough with my new teammates, but they just aren't you two. We get along well on the ice and in practice. I think we'll do well this season."

"I can't wait to watch you on TV," Shepard replied affectionately.

"Thanks, Baby Boy," Ryan said gratefully. "Enough about me. Let me get a good look at you. Damn, J, have you gotten taller?"

"Yeah, he's a tall motherfucker," Aaron said as he playfully slapped his friend on the back. "I think he's around 6'2"."

"He looks it," Ryan said with a nod. "Are you still a beast on the ice?"

"I can still play," Shepard assured with a lopsided grin.

"Got any new tattoos?" The grey-eyed teen asked curiously.

"I finished my Canucks tatt," the young blonde replied as he pulled off his hoodie, and held out his left forearm. Beside his tattoo of the Canucks logo, 'Vancouver' was now written in beautiful green script with the word 'Canucks' written in bold blue underneath.

"Nice," Ryan approved. "I love the white outline. It really makes it pop."

"I really want one on my other pec, but I can't think of anything to get," the young blonde explained.

"I could draw you something, J," Aaron offered with a wink.

"You'd do that? I know you're busy. You don't have to," Shepard said, not wanting to add to his friend's busy schedule.

"I **want** to! So, no worries, yeah," the green-eyed teen insisted.

"You heard him, Baby Boy," Ryan said with a knowing grin. "I hate to cut this short, but I got to get ready for a team meeting."

"We miss you, Walker," the blue-eyed teen said with a loving smile.

"I miss you guys too," the grey-eyed teen assured. "Wish I could be there. I love you both. Have fun tonight."

"We will. Love you too, Walker," Aaron and Shepard called out in unison.

"Oh, and… Aaron," Ryan called out before ending the call, "relax, eh."

"I'll try," Aaron mumbled as he shut the lid on his laptop.

"It was good to see Ryan. I miss the hell outta him," the blue-eyed blonde admitted.

"Yeah, me too," the older teen agreed. "The guys should be here any minute now."

"Is Elise coming?" Shepard asked anxiously.

"Nope. She's on vacation with her mom," Aaron chuckled. "And don't worry about anyone picking at you. They'll all be too busy getting wasted and fucking around to care about anything else."

"Alright," the blue-eyed teen said with a nod as he turned on the stereo. "Loud enough?"

"Sounds good," Aaron grinned.

**KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK —**

"I'll get it," the older teen said as he made his way to the door.

**~~~☆~~~**

Twenty minutes later, the apartment was filled to bursting with rowdy college students.

"Having fun, J?" Aaron asked as he put his arm around the young blonde's shoulders.

"Yeah, so far, everyone's pretty much ignored me," Shepard chuckled as he took another drink of his beer.

The green-eyed teen laughed as he kissed the younger boy hard on the cheek. "Wanna win some easy cash? I'll bet we could fleece these guys at beer pong."

"Hell, yes, set it up," the blue-eyed teen agreed with a mischievous grin.

A few hours later, Shepard and Aaron had pretty much defeated the entire room, making a tidy little profit while they were at it.

"I do believe that was the easiest money I have ever made," the young blonde said with a chuckle.

"You are the most talented person I've ever met," Aaron praised.

"If you think I'm good at beer pong, you're going to love it when I suck your cock," Shepard whispered seductively into his friend's ear, taking time to gently lick the shell before pulling back.

The green-eyed teen moaned at the thought. Looking around the room, seeing that the party was finally winding down, Aaron decided it was time for his guests to leave.

"Alright guys," Aaron called out loudly, "Party's over! You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here."

The green-eyed teen watched as his guests exited the apartment, one-by-one — each one thanking him for a good time. Once the apartment was empty, Aaron turned his focus towards his J.

"Are you sure you want to—" Aaron's words were cut short when Shepard kissed him hard on the mouth.

The young blonde grinned wickedly, looking his friend directly in the eye, "Does that answer your question?"

The older teen laughed warmly at his J. "I'll grab a couple of beers. Meet you in the bedroom."

Shepard smiled, sapphire eyes shining with mischief as he headed to the bedroom.

**~~~☆~~~**

"So, I, uh, I brought some beer," Aaron said as he nervously sat the beers down on the nightstand table.

"Are you nervous?" Shepard asked quietly. "You don't have to be nervous around me, Aaron."

"I-I know," the older teen said as he took a drink of his beer. "Do you want one?"

"No, I'm good," the young blonde replied as he patted the bed, "Come, sit next to me, yeah."

Aaron hesitantly took his place beside his J. "Are you really sure about this? I mean, we can wait until you're sixteen if you want."

"Fuck that," Shepard chuckled. "It's just a blowjob, Aaron. Calm down, eh."

"I know, it's just… I don't want you to regret this," the green-eyed teen said softly.

"I could never regret anything about you, Aaron," the blue-eyed blonde admitted truthfully. 

"Okay," Aaron said simply, as he took a deep breath. "Just do whatever feels natural, yeah."

"I always do," the young blonde smiled a sweet smile. "Can I kiss you?"

The older teen chuckled a little at the question. "It's funny. I was just about to ask you that."

Shepard laughed as he slowly kissed Aaron, taking his time to savour the sweetness of his mouth.

The two continued to kiss, their actions growing increasingly more bold and desperate. And it wasn't long before Shepard was grinding himself against Aaron's clothed sex. 

Aaron whined in frustration as Shepard ceased his ministrations in favour of falling to his knees before the green-eyed teen. 

The older teen tensed when the blue-eyed blonde reached for the button on his jeans. 

"W-what are you doing?" Aaron asked nervously.

"I can't suck it while it's covered," Shepard chuckled in amusement. "You **do** still want me to suck it, don't you?"

"Y-yeah, of course, but I can take off my own pants," Aaron insisted anxiously.

"Okay, go ahead," Shepard ordered as he waited patiently on his knees.

'Remember, Aaron, just a blowjob. No sex. Please don't think with your dick.' Aaron thought to himself as he slowly removed his pants.

"Um, underwear too," the blue-eyed beauty insisted. "Unless you want me to remove them for you?"

"Y-you can," Aaron replied, his heart racing in anticipation, "if you want."

Shepard grinned as he slowly pulled the black boxer briefs down to the floor, revealing Aaron's already erect and very healthy cock. 

The older teen was getting nervous, feeling uneasy about the young blonde's silence, "I-is everything alright?"

"Huh?" The blue-eyed teen replied as he was brought back to reality.

"Is everything alright?" Aaron repeated nervously. "You've gotten really quiet."

"I was just admiring the view," Shepard assured with a wink. "I knew it would be a good one, and you did not disappoint."

The young blonde surprised Aaron by taking him into his hand, slowly stroking the hardened flesh.

"I'm going to taste you now," the blue-eyed teen warned as he gently licked the tip.

Aaron yelped in surprise, causing the younger teen to snicker as he took the head into his mouth.

The older teen moaned at the feel of his friend's tongue on his cock. Shepard had only taken the head into his mouth, and Aaron was already becoming a mess.

"T-this is so not what I'm used to," Aaron admitted as his breath began to hitch.

"You like it?" Shepard asked before continuing his work.

"Y-yes... I-it feels g-good," the older teen admitted quietly.

"I'm going to take all of you now," the young blonde said as he took the green-eyed teen deep into his throat.

"Fuck!" Aaron whined as he eagerly tried to buck up against the young blonde as Shepard held him still.

"You can fuck my throat, but you have to calm down a bit," Shepard explained quietly. "I can't breathe if you're too rough too fast. So, just relax, and go slow until I adjust, eh."

"I-I'm sorry, J! Did I hurt you?" The older teen asked anxiously. 

"No," Shepard assured, "I'll let you know if I'm uncomfortable. Just do whatever feels good."

The young blonde took everything his friend had to give, and, before long, Shepard could feel Aaron's release flooding his throat and mouth.

The young blonde tried his best to swallow all the green-eyed beauty had to give, but soon found himself choking a bit on the excess. 

Shepard quickly pulled himself off of Aaron's spasming cock.

" ** _Cough— Cough— Cough—_** _"_

"Shit, J! I'm so sorry!" Aaron quickly apologized, feeling guilty about cumming in his beloved friend's mouth without warning. "I should have warned you, but it was so damn good. And it happened so goddamn fast — I couldn't stop it. Forgive me, eh!"

Shepard just grabbed Aaron by the neck and kissed him with as much passion as he could muster.

Aaron could taste himself on the young blonde's tongue, and it aroused him to no end. 'I wonder if J liked my taste?' The older teen wondered as he continued to kiss his J, quickly growing drunk on the taste.

Eventually, the kiss ended, and Shepard took his place beside Aaron on the bed. 

"So, do you still dislike oral sex?" The younger teen asked with a crooked smile.

"Hell no! That was fucking amazing," Aaron admitted truthfully. "Is that what I've been missing?"

"Pretty much," Shepard chuckled as he tried to adjust himself.

"Oh, shit," Aaron cursed. "You didn't cum, did you, J?"

"That's alright. I'll go take care of it. I'll be right back," the young blonde replied as he moved to head to the washroom.

"J, stop!" The green-eyed teen called out, causing Shepard to freeze in his tracks.

"I promise I won't make a mess," the blue-eyed teen assured his friend.

"That's not why I stopped you," Aaron explained, "I-I'll take care of it for you. I'll try to reciprocate…"

Shepard's sapphire eyes went wide at his best friend's offer. "Aaron, you don't have to do that. I can handle it myself. I don't want you to feel obligated. I did what I did because I wanted to. No pressure, remember. Besides, you're not gay."

"J, I **want** to try it," Aaron insisted. "Please, let me."

"How drunk are you?" Shepard asked curiously, unsure whether he should accept Aaron's offer.

"I'm not drunk, J. I'm just a little buzzed. That's all," the older boy assured his friend.

"Okay," Shepard agreed. "But if you don't like it, you stop. And don't try to do what I did. I'm used to that shit — you ain't."

"Alright, I won't try anything too crazy," Aaron promised. "I'll just suck the head."

"Alright," the young blonde said as he slowly unbuttoned his jeans. "Are you sure about this? You aren't going to freak out on me tomorrow, are you?"

"I won't," the green-eyed teen promised as he stared intently at the young blonde as he finished taking off his pants.

"Do you mind if I take my shirt off?" Shepard asked curiously.

"Uh, no, go ahead." Aaron couldn't take his eyes off his J. Loving the way the blue-eyed teen's muscles flexed as he rolled his shoulders. "Do you want me to take your underwear off?" The green-eyed teen asked quietly.

"Nah, I got it," the younger teen replied as he quickly removed his underwear, feeling totally comfortable in his nakedness.

"You're fucking beautiful," Aaron said softly, in total awe of the creature before him.

Feeling self-conscious, the young teen quickly covered his chest with his arms.

"No, don't do that," the green-eyed teen pleaded. "You're beautiful, J. You don't have to feel self-conscious about it."

Shepard reluctantly let his arms fall to his side as Aaron pulled him closer, kissing the blue-eyed blonde gently. 

"Are you going to leave your shirt on?" The younger teen asked with a chuckle.

"Oh, sorry about that," Aaron grinned as he quickly removed his shirt, leaving them both naked as the day they were born. Aaron's eyes travelled from Shepard's broad chest, all the way down to his narrow waist, letting his eyes settle on the blue-eyed blonde's impressive member. "That's pretty impressive, J," Aaron chuckled. "I'm kinda jealous."

"You can touch it — if you want," Shepard replied quietly.

Aaron smiled as he took Shepard firmly in hand. 'It feels even better than I thought it would,' Aaron thought to himself as he slowly began to stroke the young teen. "Sit on the bed, J."

Shepard did as he was told, eagerly awaiting his beloved's next move.

"I know this will probably suck, no pun intended, but I'll do my best, yeah," the older teen promised as he tentatively licked the head of Shepard's cock. "You taste good, J."

"Yeah," the young blonde said as his heart began to race. "Remember, you can stop if you want."

"Nah, I like your taste," Aaron admitted as he took the head into his mouth.

"Mmm…" Shepard moaned in appreciation as the green-eyed teen tried his best to take a little more. "That's far enough. Just work my shaft with your hand while you mouth the head. Hmm— Like that…"

Aaron was surprised at how turned on he was getting from sucking another man's cock, but then he remembered, it wasn't just any man, it was his J. And that thought alone was enough to make the older teen painfully hard. 

'Remember, you can't fuck him. He isn't sixteen yet,' Aaron reminded himself, but to no avail. 'Who the fuck am I kidding? I want him so fucking bad! I'm sorry, but I think my cock's going to win this argument.’

Aaron quickly pulled his mouth off Shepard's cock, startling the young blonde with the suddenness of the movement.

"Are you alright? You aren't regretting it, are you?" The blue-eyed blonde asked anxiously. "We can stop if you want. No worries, eh."

"J, can I fuck you?" Aaron asked quickly.

"What?" Shepard asked, unsure of what he had just heard.

 _'Hot damn! We finally get to feel Aaron deep inside you,'_ the voice celebrated in a pleased tone. _'It's about goddamn time!'_

'What's this 'we' crap? Aaron is mine!'

 _'Calm down, Johnny-boy,'_ the voice explained, _'I feel everything you feel, maybe not as vividly, but I_ **_do_ ** _feel it. Hence, the reason I, too, like cock. Idiot…'_

"Whatever," Shepard accidentally answered aloud.

"Uh, I was hoping for a more excited reply," Aaron admitted in disappointment.

"What?" The young blonde asked in confusion. 

"Ah, he was talking to you again," Aaron replied in understanding. "Can you please tell him to shut the fuck up and give us this one night to ourselves?"

Shepard laughed warmly at his beloved friend, grateful that he understood his mental issues so well. "Already done. Now, what were you saying?"

The green-eyed teen laughed as he kissed the tip of Shepard's cock. "I said, 'can I, please, fuck you'?"

"Are you sure that's what you want?" The young blonde asked, not wanting his beloved friend to regret anything in the morning.

"God, yes!" Aaron admitted as he stroked his painfully hardened length.

"Do you have a condom?" Shepard asked quietly.

"Do we really need one?" Aaron asked curiously. "I'm clean, and I know you're clean."

"You can't **know** I'm clean. I ain't been tested in months," the blue-eyed blonde admitted truthfully. 

"Yeah, but you always use a condom," Aaron reminded the young blonde.

"Condoms can break," Shepard replied nervously, "Look, Aaron, I would **love** to have you cum in me, but not until I **know** I'm clean. If that's a problem, I'm sorry. I won't risk your health. I love you, too much, yeah."

Aaron's eyes grew wide before he broke out into an adoring smile. "You are the sweetest, most loving creature I have ever known. And I fucking love you. I have condoms in the drawer. Do you have any lube? All I got is lotion."

"Seriously?" The blue-eyed teen asked in disbelief. "Aaron, baby, you need to invest in some good lube. It's great for jacking off. It ain't just for anal."

"You called me baby," Aaron's face lit up with a bright smile.

"D-do you want me to stop?" Shepard asked nervously, afraid he had overstepped his bounds.

"J, baby, I don't ever want you to stop," the green-eyed teen admitted honestly.

"Good… Um, I got lube in my pack," the young blonde informed the older teen. "You can just grab a condom while you're at it. It's in the inner side pocket."

"Inner side pocket, gotcha," Aaron repeated as he quickly rummaged through the younger teen's pack. "Got it."

"Um, do you want me to prep myself, or—" Shepard's words were cut short by a very excited Aaron.

"I'll do it," Aaron insisted. "I need to learn this stuff anyway. So why the hell not? Just tell me what to do."

"Uh, there ain't much to tell," the young teen explained, "You just pour the lube onto your fingers and onto me, then you work your fingers into me until I'm nice and stretched."

"Okay, so, one finger at a time?" The older teen asked, wanting to make sure he didn't hurt his J.

"Uh-huh." Shepard jumped at the feel of the cold lubricant hitting his ass. "It's fucking cold!"

"Sorry, baby," Aaron apologized sympathetically. "I'll try to warm it a little before I put my fingers in."

"Appreciated," the young blonde said with a grateful smile.

"Ready, baby?" The green-eyed teen asked as he slowly circled the young teen's entrance.

"Don't tease," Shepard scolded, moaning as Aaron gently inserted the first finger. "Mmm… Feels good."

'J's so tight, and I only have one finger inside of him. This is going to be intense. I can’t wait to be inside this tight heat.' Aaron thought to himself as he fucked the young blonde gently with one finger, before adding another, then another. The older teen fucked Shepard hard with his fingers. Only stopping when he heard the younger teen cry out.

"Fuck! Right there, Aaron," the blue-eyed blonde yelled in ecstasy.

"I take it, that's what I aim for once I'm inside you," Aaron surmised as he continued fingering his young lover.

"Fuck yes," Shepard replied, "Aim for that goddamn spot, and you'll have me cumming like a motherfucker!"

Aaron snickered at his J. "Seriously? Prostate stimulation is that good?"

"Fuck yes — t's the best! Aaron, baby, I got a lot to teach you about the male body, huh?" Shepard teased.

"Looking forward to it," Aaron winked as he continued his assault on Shepard's prostate.

"Fuck me, Aaron," Shepard begged. "Please, hurry up and fuck me!"

Aaron quickly rolled the condom on before making sure both he and his J were well-lubricated. "Ready, J?"

"Hell, yes! Put it in me, Aaron," the young blonde demanded as he rolled onto all fours.

Aaron took his time, penetrating the younger teen slowly, making sure not to cause his J any unnecessary pain. It wasn't long before he bottomed out inside the young teen. 

'I'm inside my J! I've wanted this for so long. He's so goddamn perfect. I feel like I'm drowning in ecstasy.'

"I'm inside you, J," the green-eyed teen whispered. "I can't believe it. You're so fucking tight. I feel like I'm gonna cum the instant I move."

"Mmm… You feel so fucking good inside me," Shepard replied with a moan as Aaron began to move slowly. Fucking the blue-eyed beauty with long, slow strokes, making the blonde coo in approval.

"Fuck me harder, baby," Shepard instructed, arching his back so Aaron could fuck him deeper. "I ain't made of glass. Go ahead and fuck me as hard as you want."

Aaron moaned at his new lover's words. And, not wanting to disappoint his beloved J, Aaron fucked him as hard as he could, loving the feel of the young teen's body as it sucked him deeper in.

"Fuck! You're so fucking good! I won't last long," Aaron warned as he continued to fuck his J hard before stopping suddenly, pulling completely out of the young blonde.

"What? What's wrong?" Shepard asked in confusion and frustration. "I was close — why'd you stop?"

"Turn over, J," Aaron ordered quietly.

"What? Why?" Shepard asked, confused by the request.

"I want to see you," the green-eyed teen replied honestly. "I want to see that beautiful face. I want to look into those gorgeous blue eyes, and see the stars in them when you cum."

"You say the strangest things. A-alright," the blue-eyed beauty whispered as he rolled onto his back, spreading his legs for Aaron to take his place between them.

Aaron kissed Shepard gently before pushing back into the hot, willing body underneath him. "I fucking love the feel of you around my cock. It's so goddamn good, J."

Shepard smiled as he wrapped his long legs firmly around Aaron's waist, arching his back to allow his lover to penetrate him deeper — crying out as Aaron, once again, hit that spot deep inside of him.

Knowing he had hit the mark, Aaron immediately began fucking his J for all he was worth, making sure to hit Shepard's sweet spot with every brutal thrust.

"Fuck! I-I can't," Shepard whined in ecstasy as he pushed back hard against Aaron's wild thrusting, all while trying to bring himself to completion. The hand on his cock moving at lightning speed, desperately chasing his climax. "It's too fucking good! I'm gonna cum…"

"Fuck yeah," Aaron exclaimed as he removed Shepard's hand and replaced it with his own, desperate to be the one to make his love cum. "Cum for me, baby. Show me how good it feels."

With a sharp cry, Shepard came hard, convulsing underneath his lover, his orgasm causing his body to tighten around Aaron's cock. "D-don't stop," Shepard whined as he continued to cum wildly. "K-keep fucking me. Cum — for me."

Aaron did just as Shepard asked and continued fucking the teen through his orgasm. "You're so fucking beautiful! So fucking tight! I can't— I'm cumming, baby…" 

Shepard could feel Aaron jerking uncontrollably inside of him, and it was the best thing he had ever experienced in his short life. The young blonde tightened his legs around the green-eyed beauty and proceeded to use his young body to milk all the older teen had to give.

Aaron continued to convulse until he finally collapsed in a boneless heap atop his young lover.

After a few seconds, Aaron gently kissed the hollow of Shepard's neck. "I fucking love you, J. More than anything in this whole goddamn universe."

Shepard took Aaron's face in his hands and smiled lovingly at the green-eyed teen. 

"You're crying, baby," Aaron observed in a worried tone as he gently wiped the tears from Shepard's sapphire-blue eyes with his thumb. "Did I hurt you, J?"

"No, I'm just happy," Shepard admitted honestly. "I never thought you'd love me like that. It means a lot, you know. 'Cause I love you too, Aaron. More than anything, yeah."

"I'm happy too, baby," Aaron whispered as he kissed his J softly. "Now, let's get cleaned up, so we can get some rest, eh," Aaron suggested as he disposed of the condom before retrieving a wet washcloth from the washroom. 

Aaron loved the way Shepard's abdominal muscles danced as he gently cleaned the young blonde. "There, all clean," Aaron announced as he discarded the wet cloth before pulling Shepard close. "Let's get some rest, eh."

"Rest is good," the blue-eyed beauty agreed as he snuggled close to his new lover. "'Night, Aaron."

"'Night, baby," Aaron whispered as he kissed his J softly on the top of his head. 

Aaron slept more sound than he ever had in his entire life. With his beloved J cuddled next to him, life was good, and all was well in the world. Aaron Hayes was truly happy.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really enjoyed writing this chapter. It was fun! I suck at writing sex scenes, but I tried my best without being too graphic. Anyway, one chapter left, Shepard's 16th birthday is coming up in the next chapter. I hope you enjoy it. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	24. Piece of Your Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter! Shepard's sixteenth birthday. Aaron gives him the most personal gift he can give.
> 
> **This chapter contains sexual content.**

The next morning, Aaron awoke to confusion as he reached out for the body next to him, only to find the bed empty.

"Seriously? Was it all just a dream?" The green-eyed teen asked himself as he slowly sat up in bed. "It certainly felt real. I must have been wasted last night. It's for the best, I guess."

Aaron slowly lifted the sheet, looking down at his naked body. "I guess I didn't think with my dick after all. Good job, little Aaron! I'm proud of you."

"Are you talking to your dick?" Shepard called out from the washroom door, wearing nothing but an amused grin. "And they call me crazy."

"J?" Aaron blinked in realization. "Last night **was** real, wasn't it?"

"Uh, yeah," the blue-eyed teen snickered as he continued to brush his teeth. "Did you really think it wasn't?"

Aaron once again lifted the sheet. "I take back what I said, you deviant," the green-eyed young man scolded little Aaron, causing Shepard to break out into laughter.

"I'm going to go pour you a cup of coffee," the young blonde said as he made his way to the door. "You just stay here and work things out with your dick. I'll be back in a minute."

The green-eyed teen nodded in agreement as he watched his J, still naked as the day he was born, make his way to the kitchen.

"J looks even better in the morning light," Aaron thought aloud, biting his bottom lip, before lifting the sheet once again, "Settle down, you!" 

"Are you **still** talking to your cock?" Shepard asked in amusement as he handed Aaron a cup of coffee.

"Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up," the older teen grinned as he took a sip of his coffee. "That's good coffee, J."

"I'm glad you like it," the blue-eyed blonde said as he began to fidget nervously.

Noticing how nervous his young friend was becoming, Aaron placed his coffee cup on the nightstand and motioned for the young blonde to come, sit beside him on the bed.

"Is something troubling you, J?" Aaron asked curiously.

"I-it's nothing…" Shepard replied quietly, trying his best to avoid his beloved's gaze.

"I know you too well, J," the older teen said. "There's something on your mind. So, you might as well tell me what it is."

"Do you regret last night?" The blue-eyed teen asked softly.

"Absolutely not! Why would you think that, baby? " Aaron asked as he gently touched Shepard's cheek.

"The way you were talking, it almost seemed like you wished we hadn't," the young blonde explained.

Aaron laughed warmly. "I was just feeling guilty because you aren't legal yet. I'm nineteen, J. Some would say what we did was wrong."

"Who cares what some say? They don't matter. What matters is what **you** think," Shepard explained. "Do **you** think what we did was wrong?"

"No, I don't," the older teen replied honestly, "I think what we did was beautiful, and I don't regret a thing."

"Really," the blue-eyed blonde grinned. "Would you be interested in doing it again?"

"You mean, now?" Aaron asked in amusement.

"Yep. Right here and now," Shepard softly whispered as he kissed the older teen slowly, moving to straddle Aaron's lap.

"I'm game, baby," the green-eyed teen agreed with a wink. "Condoms are in the drawer, and the lubricant's on the table."

"I can't wait to taste you again," the blue-eyed blonde moaned as he slowly moved his hips against the older teen.

"Mmm… You feel so good," Aaron cooed as he held the younger teen tight.

Aaron took his time with the young blonde, making sure to explore every inch of his young lover's body. Experimenting with different positions, the older teen tried his best to learn everything that his precious J liked. The green-eyed young man was determined to bring the young blonde to a mind-blowing orgasm as he continued to learn Shepard's body.

After two hours of play, with Shepard on his lap, the older teen finally gave the young blonde his release as he continued to fuck the blue-eyed beauty.

The young blonde came hard around Aaron, immediately causing the older teen to convulse in pleasure, of his own. 

Aaron held his J tight as he continued to spasm into the blue-eyed teen, before collapsing back onto the bed, dragging Shepard down with him.

"That was fucking amazing," Aaron said as he discarded the used condom, before returning to his place next to the spent blonde. "Was it good for you, baby?" Aaron asked as he kissed Shepard's bare shoulder.

"Uh-huh," the young blonde replied in a serene tone. 

Aaron chuckled at his J as he pulled the younger teen close. "Your skin's so hot. It feels like you're on fire."

"Well, we have been at it for a while," Shepard reminded his best friend and lover.

"True," Aaron agreed as he kissed the young blonde's neck. 

"Mmm…" The blue-eyed blonde moaned as he kissed the older teen back.

**KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK —**

"Ugh, who could that be?" Aaron groaned as he reluctantly untangled himself from his young lover.

"Are you sure you should answer?" Shepard asked anxiously. "I mean, I'm naked in your bed. It ain't like you can talk your way out of that."

"Elise isn't due back until tomorrow," the green-eyed teen assured as he put on a pair of sweats. "I'll just tell whoever it is to come back later. It'll be fine, babe."

"Uh-huh," the young blonde said as he began collecting his clothes. "I'll get dressed just in case."

"I'll be right back, baby," Aaron assured as he moved to answer the door.

_'I'll bet anything that's Elise at the door.'_

"Yeah, with my luck, it probably is," Shepard sighed as he quickly got dressed, collected his pack, and made his way to the front room.

The young blonde's heart dropped at the sight of the two before him — Aaron and Elise kissing passionately in the middle of the room.

_'For what it's worth, I'm sorry I was right,'_ the voice said sympathetically.

'Yeah, me too. Reality's a bitch.'

" _Eh hm—_ " Shepard cleared his throat to announce his presence.

"Where the hell did you come from?" Elise asked in confusion.

"Uh, he was just here to borrow my hockey gear," Aaron explained as he gave his young friend a pleading look. "Right, J?"

"Uh, y-yeah. I can't find my skates. They aren't in the bag," Shepard lied. "Can you come, help me find them?"

"Sure, J. I'll be right back," Aaron promised his girlfriend as he followed his J back to the bedroom.

"I guess that's my cue to get the fuck out, huh," Shepard replied with a bitter laugh.

"J, I'm so sorry," the green-eyed teen apologized, feeling awful that their time had been cut short.

"Don't worry about it. I wanted to be on the ice anyway," the young blonde assured. "I'll just take the bag and go. Are my skates in the bag?"

"Y-yeah, they are," Aaron replied as he rubbed his face hard with his hands.

Shepard quickly grabbed the hockey bag, eager to be away from the entire situation. 

"You might not wanna let Elise come in here for a while. The room still smells like sex," the blue-eyed blonde suggested bitterly. "I'll return your bag in a few days."

"J," the green-eyed teen pleaded as he reached out to touch Shepard's hand.

"It's fine," the young blonde said, forcing a smile for his beloved friend. "I understand."

Aaron kissed the younger teen softly. "I love you, J."

"I know," Shepard replied as he walked towards the living room. 

Aaron quickly followed his J, making sure to close the bedroom door behind him.

"I'll see you soon, yeah, J," Aaron said as he saw his beloved friend to the door.

"Yep," the young blonde replied simply. "Later, Aaron. Elise."

"Hn," Elise grunted back as the blue-eyed teen made his way out of the apartment.

Once Shepard was out of the building, he punched the brick wall hard with his left hand, causing his knuckles to bruise and bleed a bit.

_'Calm the fuck down! You had to have known this would happen,'_ the voice said truthfully.

"I fucking know that! But it still fucking hurts," Shepard exclaimed with tears in his sapphire eyes.

_'_ ** _Sigh—_ ** _Maybe you should stay away for a while. Let Aaron know how it feels to be second best, eh,'_ the voice suggested.

"Maybe I will," the young blonde whispered as he wiped the tears from his sad blue eyes. "I need to be on the ice."

_'Agreed,'_ the voice seconded the thought as Shepard made his way to the nearest hockey rink.

**~~~☆~~~**

Shepard had managed to stay away from Aaron for three and a half weeks, only seeing him once, briefly, to return the hockey gear. 

"I'm thinking of going to see Aaron," the young blonde thought aloud, not caring how strange he must have looked to the people on the street.

_'If you wanna get fucked, just go see Alex,'_ the voice suggested. _'He's always willing.'_

"I was just with him two nights ago," Shepard reminded the voice. "Besides, I really miss Aaron."

_'Fine, you can go, but don't be surprised if Elise is there,'_ the voice warned. _'That bitch has her claws in deep lately.'_

"Fuck her, I need to see Aaron," the blue-eyed teen stated firmly. "Maybe I can just invite him out? He wouldn't dare bring her along."

_'You can try. It's certainly better than seeing the queen bitch,'_ the voice agreed.

Shepard texted the green-eyed teen and smiled at the quick reply.

"I told him to meet me at the Tim Horton's across the street. He said he'd be here in fifteen minutes," the young blonde said with a smile.

_'You know, there's a hotel just across the way,'_ the voice reminded the blue-eyed blonde. _'You could always ask him to hook up with you.'_

"That's exactly, what I'm going to do," Shepard informed the voice as he made his way to Tim's.

_'Wow, you're bold, aren't ya,'_ the voice chuckled. 

"Yep."

Aaron arrived right on time, and the two teens sat down to have a cup of coffee.

"I'm relieved that you asked me out, yeah," Aaron admitted as he gently rubbed Shepard's hand, "I was afraid you were done with me."

"Never. I just wanted to give you and Elise your space," the young blonde explained. "I didn't want her to get suspicious."

"Thanks, J," the green-eyed teen said gratefully. "I told Ryan about us."

"Yeah? He never mentioned it to me," Shepard said in surprise. 

"He was probably waiting for you to tell him," Aaron explained, "That's the way Ryan is. He probably wants you to tell him when you're ready, that way there's no pressure on you to tell him the details."

"What did he say?" The young blonde asked curiously.

"Congratulations, and was it as good as I dreamt it would be," the older teen laughed. "I told him, yes, it was even better than I'd imagined, and that it was mind-blowing. He also said I was a lucky bastard."

"Sounds like Ryan," Shepard smiled fondly as he nervously bounced his knee. 

"You nervous, baby?" Aaron asked in a worried tone.

"A little, I guess," the young teen admitted. "Do you wanna get a room with me? I'll pay. I just really want to be with you. But, I'll understand if you say no."

Aaron was a bit surprised by the bold offer, but smiled gently, at the nervous young blonde. "I'd love to, J."

"Yeah," Shepard smiled in relief. "Um, can we go now?"

"You in a hurry, J?" Aaron asked as he finished his coffee.

"Yeah, I really am," the blue-eyed teen admitted.

"Then let's get going, eh," the older teen grinned as he stood up from the table, waiting for his J to follow.

"Hell, yes," Shepard replied quickly, as he followed his beloved across the street to the hotel.

"I'll get the room," Aaron insisted. "They might need ID."

"Here," the young blonde said as he handed the older teen a few colourful bills.

"That's okay. I got this, J," the green-eyed teen assured with a smile.

"I insist, Aaron. It was my idea," Shepard stubbornly replied.

"You are so damn stubborn, baby," Aaron chuckled as he took the money from his young lover. 

"I know," the younger teen admitted as he glanced outside the window, taking a double-take when he saw a familiar shadowy figure. "Mom?"

"What was that, baby?" Aaron asked, not quite understanding Shepard's words.

_'Not this again! She isn't there. You're seeing shit again,'_ the voice scolded the young blonde. _'Listen to me, eh.'_

"N-nothing," Shepard answered quietly.

"Room 207," Aaron said as he motioned for his J to follow. "Want to take the stairs or the elevator?"

"Uh, stairs," the blue-eyed teen replied quietly, as he followed the older boy to the room.

Once the two teens were behind closed doors, it didn't take long until they were writhing on the bed. Everything was going great until Aaron heard Shepard make a strange noise underneath him.

"Baby?" Aaron asked in confusion as he noticed the look in his J's eyes. Shepard was scared.

Aaron immediately stopped moving inside of the young blonde and tried to get the younger teen to focus on him. "J, baby, what's wrong? Look at me, J," the older teen commanded as he studied the young teen's face.

"What are you seeing, baby?" Aaron quietly asked as he noticed that Shepard was looking past him. "Talk to me, baby."

"She's back," Shepard whispered in a frightened voice. "W-why is she back?"

Aaron gently pulled out of his young lover, moving to try and block Shepard's vision of anything but him. "Can you still see her, baby?" The green-eyed teen asked softly.

"N-no, but she's still there," Shepard insisted as he continued to panic.

"J, baby, you need to calm down," Aaron instructed. "I can feel your heart beating from here. You need to take a breath for me, eh. Take a deep breath and just breathe slowly."

The young blonde did as he was told, and eventually calmed enough for Aaron to speak to him properly.

"What's going on, J?" Aaron asked quietly. "Talk to me, babe."

"I-I saw her, across the street, while you were checking in," Shepard admitted truthfully.

"I'm assuming, by her, you mean your phantom mother?" The green-eyed young man asked, "You do know that's not really your mother? Right, J?"

"It's a part of her! I just know it is," Shepard insisted, "It's the part that hates me."

"J, baby, you don't **know** that she hates you," Aaron insisted. "You're just assuming. You're letting your fear rule you, baby."

"No, I'm not! I fucking **know** she hates me," the young blonde replied anxiously, "I can **feel** it inside, Aaron."

" _Sigh—_ Are you sleeping okay?" The older teen asked, hoping that his hunch was wrong.

"I-I guess. I mean, I think I am," Shepard answered, uncertain in his reply. 

"Are you hearing voices again?" Aaron asked quietly.

"I-it's not as bad as last time," Shepard assured his friend. "It only happens when I'm tired. Why are we even talking about this? My mom is the problem, not the voices."

"J, baby, did you take your depot shot this month?" The green-eyed teen asked in a worried tone.

"M-my appointment's next week," Shepard lied.

"Okay, that's good. Did you forget to take your other meds?" Aaron asked, hoping to find a reason for Shepard's deteriorating mental health.

"I, uh, yeah," Shepard nodded as Aaron moved to search Shepard's pack. "W-what are you doing?"

"I'm getting your meds for you," the older teen explained as he searched his J's bag, brow furrowing when he found only empty bottles. "J, you haven't been taking them, have you?"

"Aaron, I can explain," Shepard said nervously.

"When did you run out?" Aaron asked, knowing the reason for Shepard's lack of medication.

"Please, don't be mad," the blue-eyed teen pleaded.

"I'm not mad, J. Please, just tell me when," Aaron insisted.

"About a month ago," Shepard admitted honestly. "I didn't have the money for 'em."

"And your depot shot?"

"Same. It costs $250 every four weeks," Shepard explained, "I didn't have it to pay the clinic."

"J, baby, why didn't you tell me?" Aaron asked sympathetically. "I would have helped you pay for them."

"I didn't want to burden you," the young blonde whispered.

"J, you have to have them. It's not negotiable, baby," the green-eyed young man scolded.

"I-I know."

"Come on. I'll take you to the pharmacy, and we can get these refilled," Aaron insisted as he began getting dressed. "I'll call in a favour for your depot shot."

"I don't wanna trouble nobody," Shepard softly spoke as he began to get dressed.

"It's no trouble, J," the older boy assured the sick teen.

"Sorry for ruining the moment," the young blonde sincerely apologized.

"That's okay. It's not your fault, J," Aaron said as he kissed his J softly. "Let's go get your meds, yeah."

Shepard just smiled and followed his lover out of the building.

**~~~☆~~~**

"Dad, it's me, Aaron," the young man said, holding his cell phone to his ear as he waited patiently for his J's prescriptions. "I'm fine. I need a favour." … "Yeah, I need $250." … "I need it for J." … "No, Dad, he isn't on drugs. Have you been listening to Mom's bullshit again?" … "Dad, I swear to god it isn't for anything bad." … "He needs his medicine, but he doesn't have enough money to pay the clinic." … "He's sick, Dad. He's getting sicker every day." … "Dad, please. You can lecture me about J needing a real home later. Right now, he really needs his medicine." … "Please, Dad," Aaron waited patiently for his father's answer. "Yes! Thanks so much. You're a life-saver, yeah. Can you meet me outside the clinic on Heatley Avenue?" … "I'll text you the address. Thanks, Dad. I'll see you there, eh."

"Aaron, I wish you hadn't done that," Shepard replied in disapproval. "I don't want to be indebted to your father."

"You aren't. I am," Aaron corrected as the pharmacist called Shepard's name. 

"I don't want you to be indebted either, especially not on my behalf," the young blonde explained as he followed his friend to the counter.

"Not your call, J," the green-eyed young man replied as he handed payment to the pharmacist. "This is an emergency, eh. No complaints, yeah."

Shepard sighed heavily, feeling frustrated at his lover, "Fine. Let's just get this over with."

Aaron shook his head at the blue-eyed teen. "Come on. We're going to the clinic," Aaron insisted as he led his young lover to the car.

"I'll pay you back. I've got a couple of repair jobs lined up next week," Shepard replied.

"J, don't worry about it, yeah," Aaron insisted. "I love you, and you need your meds. There's nothing to pay back."

"You are so goddamn stubborn," the young blonde huffed.

Aaron laughed a bit at his J. "That's funny coming from the king of stubbornness."

"Very funny," Shepard pouted as they pulled into the clinic's parking lot.

"Now all we have to do is wait for my dad," the green-eyed young man said as he gently rubbed the blonde's leg.

"I guess," the blue-eyed teen mumbled as he leaned his head against the car window.

The two sat silently together until Aaron's father arrived.

"There's my dad," Aaron said as he slowly opened the car door. "I'll be right back, J."

Shepard nodded as he continued to lean against the window. "Thank him for me."

Aaron smiled affectionately at his J. "I will, baby," the green-eyed teen assured as he made his way to his father's car.

"Aaron, you look well," Andrew greeted as he hugged his son.

"You too," Aaron said with a smile. "J really appreciates this, Dad. He told me to thank you."

"It's not a problem, Son," the elder Hayes assured as he handed his son the money. "How sick is he? Is it as bad as before?"

"No, it hasn't gotten that bad yet, but it's definitely going in that direction," the green-eyed teen replied truthfully. "He's seeing that spectre of his mother again. I could tell something was wrong. I think I caught it before it got too bad."

"I'm glad," Andrew smiled. "J's a good kid."

"He's one-of-a-kind, for sure," Aaron said thoughtfully, as he counted the money his father handed him, "Whoa, Dad, I think you gave me too much. There's $400 here."

"I know," Andrew chuckled in amusement. "I added a little extra, just in case."

"That's very thoughtful of you, but J will never accept it," Aaron informed his father honestly. "He's too proud and way too stubborn."

"Then you keep it," Andrew insisted. "You never know when an emergency will come up."

"Thanks, Dad," the green-eyed teen smiled gratefully. "You aren't going to tell Mom, are you?"

"No, the last thing Anna needs is more ammunition to use against that boy," Andrew replied truthfully. "Well, I better head out. Your mother hates it when I'm late."

"Love you, Dad," Aaron said as he hugged his father goodbye. "Thanks for this, yeah."

"Anytime," Andrew smiled as he kissed his son's cheek, "I love you. Be safe, and tell J I said hello."

"Will do," the green-eyed teen said, waving as he watched his father depart.

"Did you thank him for me?" Shepard asked, startling Aaron as he spoke.

"Jesus, J," Aaron said, holding his heart as he spoke, "You nearly gave me a heart attack."

"Sorry," the young blond apologized. "Did you thank him?"

"Yes, and he said, 'you're welcome.' " The older teen grinned as he took his J's hand and led him into the clinic.

Once Shepard had received his much-needed medication, the two teens quickly made their way back to Aaron's apartment.

**~~~☆~~~**

"You can stay tonight," Aaron offered, hoping his J would stay.

"I'm pretty tired," Shepard admitted. "I should probably go."

"That makes no sense, J," the older teen said in amusement. "If you're tired, you should get your ass in the bed, not take off."

"But, the way I feel, I won't be very good," the young blonde said in confusion.

"Won't be…" Aaron's eyes went wide in realization. "J, baby, we don't have to have sex. Why would you think that, babe?"

Shepard shrugged, "I ain't got nothin' else to offer."

"Baby, you don't have to **offer** me anything," Aaron explained. "I just love having you with me, yeah. Sex is great, but we don't have to do it every time you stay over. Do you understand, baby?"

The blue-eyed blonde looked confused by his best friend's words. "I-I guess."

Aaron sighed heavily. "Come on, J. Let's just go to bed, eh," Aaron said as he led his love to the bedroom. "We'll go straight to sleep, yeah."

And sleep they did. It wasn't until late the next morning that the two teens awoke.

"Hey, baby," Aaron whispered as he kissed the young blonde's neck. "Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah, I am," Shepard admitted. "Thanks for everything you did. I appreciate it."

"I know you do," the older teen chuckled. "You want to take a shower?"

"Sure. Do you wanna join me?" The blue-eyed blonde asked as he moved suggestively against Aaron.

"You sure? We don't have to," Aaron assured as he mimicked his young lover's movements.

"I want to," Shepard assured the green-eyed young man.

"Let's go, baby," Aaron grinned as he grabbed a condom and lubricant. 

"Right behind you, babe," the young blonde grinned as he followed his lover into the washroom.

Once their very passionate shower was complete, the young lovers spent half the day lounging around the house — doing nothing more than enjoying each other's company.

"Elise just texted," Aaron whined as he rubbed his face hard in frustration.

"Let me guess — she's on her way over?" Shepard surmised.

"Yeah," the green-eyed teen replied sympathetically, "I'm sorry, J. I know how she is with you."

"Don't worry about it," the blue-eyed teen said with a halfhearted smile. "I'm going to go check on that repair job. I might not be around for a couple of weeks."

"Seriously? That seems so long," Aaron whined. 

Shepard laughed at his beloved friend. "It's not that long. We've been apart for longer."

"True enough, I suppose," the green-eyed young man said with a pout. "Hey, J, your birthday's coming up soon."

"Yeah. So?" The young blonde asked curiously.

"I was thinking, that maybe, I could take you to get your licence, eh," Aaron suggested.

"I don't have a guardian, Aaron. You need to have one to sign the application," Shepard explained.

"Let me worry about that, eh," the older teen said with a wink.

"Do you want to go to jail?" Shepard asked in amusement.

"I won't go to jail," Aaron chuckled.

"Fine, but only if it can be a motorcycle licence," the young blonde insisted.

"Why not both?" The green-eyed young man suggested.

"Okay, I'm game," Shepard replied with an amused grin.

"Good. It's settled then," Aaron announced, "You can stay at my place the night before, yeah."

"Whatever you say, baby," the blue-eyed blonde agreed as he collected his things to leave. "Well, I'm out. Love you, babe."

"Love you too," the older teen said as he kissed his J goodbye.

**~~~☆~~~**

For the next three weeks, Shepard and Aaron only managed to see each other for just a few precious moments at a time. And before the blue-eyed teen knew it, it was April the 10th.

**KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK —**

Shepard knocked casually on Aaron's apartment door, looking forward to seeing his lover. But his smile soon faded when an unexpected person answered the door.

"What are you doing here, faggot," Elise asked as she turned her nose up in disgust.

"Aaron's gonna take me to get my licence tomorrow. He told me to come, stay over tonight," the young teen answered truthfully.

"Aaron! Did you tell 'it' it could stay over?" The arrogant young woman asked in annoyance.

"What?" Aaron asked as he made his way to the door. "J! Come on in."

"Aaron, is he staying or not?" Elise asked, demanding an answer.

"Y-yeah. We have to leave pretty early in the morning," Aaron explained. 

"Fine," Elise huffed. "Just stay out of my way tonight."

"She's staying over?" Shepard asked in a disappointed tone.

"Yeah, sorry, J," Aaron apologized, "It wasn't planned. It just sort of came up at the last minute, yeah."

"I'll just meet you there," the young blonde said as he turned to leave.

"J, wait," the older teen called out. "Stay, yeah."

"No, Aaron. I'm not staying. Thanks for the offer, yeah," Shepard replied as he waved goodbye to his green-eyed friend. "See you tomorrow."

Aaron sighed heavily. "See you tomorrow, J," the green-eyed young man called out as he shut his apartment door.

**~~~☆~~~**

The next morning, Shepard waited patiently at the Driver's Services Centre. 

_'He ain't coming. He picked that cunt over you,_ ** _again_** _,'_ the voice suggested in anger.

'Aaron wouldn't do that to me. Not on my birthday,' Shepard replied silently.

"J," Aaron called out as he made his way over to the blue-eyed teen, "Sorry I'm late. Let's get this started, yeah."

"After you," Shepard grinned as he followed the older teen into the building.

'I told you Aaron would be here,' Shepard thought with a grin.

_'Yeah, yeah. I was wrong,'_ the voice replied in disinterest. _'Good luck with your little tests.'_

Once Aaron had assisted Shepard with the paperwork, the blue-eyed teen made his way to the testing area, leaving Aaron to wait patiently for his young lover to finish his tests. 

A few hours later, Shepard appeared from behind the door, wearing a big smile on his face.

"I take it you passed," Aaron grinned in approval.

"Yep," the young blonde said with a smirk. 

"You passed both, yeah?" The green-eyed teen asked.

"Uh-huh," Shepard replied as he motioned for Aaron to follow him.

"I'm proud of you, baby," Aaron said as they made their way to the car. "Do you want to celebrate?"

"What did you have in mind?" The young blonde asked as he opened the passenger's side door.

"You drive," Aaron instructed as he handed Shepard the keys.

"If you're sure," Shepard grinned as he made his way to the driver's side door.

"Positive," the older teen assured as he got into the passenger's seat.

"You never answered," the younger teen said as he fastened his seat belt. "What kind of celebration did you have in mind?"

"Hmm… How about we go get something to eat? Then we can go back to my place and have a few drinks," Aaron suggested. "Sound good, J?"

"Yep. Where do you want to eat?" Shepard asked as he started the car.

"Um… How about we just order some takeout, that way we can just eat at home," the older boy suggested.

"I like that idea better," the blue-eyed teen admitted as they headed towards the apartment.

**~~~☆~~~**

"Was the food good, J?" Aaron asked as he opened another beer.

"Uh-huh," Shepard replied simply, as he drained his beer. "So, what do you want to do now?"

"I can think of a few things," the green-eyed teen said as he suggestively ran his hand underneath the younger teen's shirt.

"I like the way you think, babe," the young blonde replied with a grin as he leaned in to kiss his beautiful green-eyed friend.

**BUZZ— BUZZ— BUZZ—**

"Goddammit," Aaron cursed as he reluctantly answered his phone. " **What?** " Aaron asked in annoyance. "Elise?"

Shepard's face fell in disappointment as he slowly stood, gathering his things before walking towards the door.

"J, wait!" Aaron called out, causing Shepard to look back towards his friend. "Elise, I can't go out tonight. I told you that yesterday." … "I'm sorry. You're just going to have to go with your girlfriends." … "I have a class tomorrow, so I won't be home until late." … "I gotta go. We'll talk about it tomorrow."

The green-eyed young man ended the call before turning his phone off for the night.

"No one will interrupt us anymore," Aaron promised. "So, please, stay."

Shepard nodded as he made his way back to the green-eyed beauty, pulling him close and kissing him passionately. 

"Let's head to the bedroom, baby," the green-eyed teen whispered as he took his J by the hand, and made his way to the bedroom.

Once they made it to the bedroom, the two young lovers couldn't keep their hands off each other.

"Happy Birthday, J!" Aaron said as he pulled his shirt over his head.

Shepard wasted no time showering the older teen's chest with kisses, causing the green-eyed beauty to moan in delight.

"Mmm, that feels good, baby," Aaron said as he licked his lips in pleasure. "Let's get that shirt off you."

The young blonde quickly removed his shirt, tossing it to the floor.

"J, you got a new tattoo," Aaron realized as he gently ran his fingers down Shepard's right side, fingertips tracing the fall coloured maple leaves that ran the line of the young blonde's lean, well-muscled torso.

"Do you like them?" Shepard asked curiously.

"They're beautiful, baby," Aaron insisted as he licked the path from one leaf to the next, causing the younger teen to moan in appreciation. "That reminds me," the older teen said as he reached for the sketch pad sitting on the nightstand. "Here, I drew this for you. I hope you like it." 

"You drew this?" The young blonde asked in wonder. "It's beautiful, Aaron." 

"It's a phoenix," Aaron explained, "I thought it was fitting, you know, with the way you’re always rising from the ashes. It really suits your resilience, yeah." 

"It's perfect. It'll make a perfect tattoo," Shepard assured with a kiss. "Thank you, Aaron. I love it." 

"No problem, baby," Aaron assured his blue-eyed lover with a kiss.

"I think it's time to properly thank you, eh, Aaron," Shepard grinned as he gently pushed his green-eyed lover onto the bed, before eagerly removing the rest of the older teen's clothing.

Aaron chuckled at his beloved J's eagerness, gasping in surprise when Shepard took him into his mouth. "Fuck!"

Shepard grinned around his lover's cock as he continued his ministrations, loving the sounds of pleasure coming from the young man below him.

"Mmm… J, baby," Aaron said in between moans, "I-I have a surprise for you."

"Hmm," Shepard hummed, causing the green-eyed teen to thrust deeper into his lover's mouth.

"So fucking good!" The older teen exclaimed as he continued thrusting into that wet, hot cavern.

Knowing his love was close, Shepard took Aaron deep into his throat, quickly bringing the green-eyed teen to his peak. The young blonde loved the way Aaron whined in ecstasy as he came. And once Shepard was certain the older teen was finished, he slowly let Aaron's cock fall from his mouth.

Shepard couldn't help but smirk at the sight before him, Aaron was smiling from ear to ear, eyes glazed over in lust, as he slowly came down from his sexual high. 

"Was it good, baby?" Shepard asked as he kissed his lover slowly.

"Mmm, so fucking good, baby," Aaron chuckled as he kissed his blue-eyed beauty. "It's your turn. Lie down on the bed, baby," Aaron instructed as he took in the sight of his J. "You are the most beautiful creature I've ever seen," the green-eyed teen replied truthfully, as he took Shepard into his mouth.

"You're getting better at this," the young blonde praised with a grin. "It feels good, yeah."

Aaron continued to work his young lover's cock, until he was certain that Shepard was as hard as he could possibly get.

"Mmm, why'd you stop," Shepard asked curiously. "You were doing great."

"I think it's time for your present," Aaron explained.

"What present?" The blue-eyed blonde asked in amusement.

"I-I've been thinking about it lately, and after talking it over with Ryan, I finally decided that I want you to… you know," Aaron explained nervously.

"You want me to, what?" Shepard asked, cocking a brow in confusion.

Aaron laughed at his J's cluelessness. "I want you to fuck me, J."

"W-what!?" Shepard asked in disbelief.

_'Hell, yes! I can't wait for you to tap that!'_ The voice rejoiced.

"Did I hear you right," the young blonde asked nervously.

"Yes, J," Aaron assured his young lover, "You heard me right."

"Are you sure?" Shepard asked, wanting Aaron to be absolutely certain. "I don't want to cause you any pain, Aaron. And, I ain't gonna lie, it's gonna hurt your first time."

"I know. I already talked about it with Ryan. I even told him how well-endowed you are. Ryan said it would definitely hurt, but that the pain wouldn't last long," Aaron explained, "He told me that it would feel real fucking good after a while, especially since you're such a considerate person."

"Have you been prepping yourself," Shepard asked curiously. 

"Um, yeah," the green-eyed teen admitted, "I've been experimenting in the shower, and when I masturbate."

"And are you enjoying it when you do it?" The young teen inquired, wanting to make sure that his beloved would enjoy what was to come.

"Yeah. I mean, it was weird at first, but once I got the hang of it, it was good," Aaron replied honestly. "J, I really want this, yeah."

"If you're really sure," Shepard said softly, as he placed his forehead against Aaron's.

"I'm absolutely sure," Aaron assured, with a quick kiss. "I want to know what you feel, J. I want to experience sex the way you experience it."

"A-alright, but I'm going to take the time to prepare you first," Shepard promised. "Just let me know if I do something you don't like. And be sure to tell me when I do something you **do** like."

"Oh, believe me, I'll let you know how I'm feeling," the green-eyed young man promised. "Now, how about we get started, eh."

Shepard smiled at his green-eyed friend in amusement as he retrieved the bottle of lubricant, taking his time, slowly preparing his lover. 

"Ah, fuck!" Aaron whined as his back arched in ecstasy. "J, if you keep touching me there, I'm gonna cum again."

"Just a little more, baby," Shepard promised. "One more finger, and I'll get to the good part, eh."

The young blonde did as he promised, causing Aaron to moan loudly in satisfaction.

"Please, J! I need to feel you inside me," the older teen begged as he continued thrusting back against his J's long fingers.

"Are you ready, baby?" Shepard asked as he slowly rolled a condom onto his sex.

"As ready as I'll ever be," Aaron admitted nervously.

"Just tell me to stop if I do something you don't like," Shepard instructed as he gently pushed the tip of his cock into the older teen.

"Oh, fuck," Aaron whined as he gripped the bed sheets hard.

"I'll go slow," the blue-eyed teen promised as he pushed in just past the head. "Fuck!"

'He's so fucking tight!' Shepard thought silently.

_'I could get used to this. He feels fucking amazing!'_ The voice cooed.

"W-wait," Aaron called out nervously. "You're so fucking big! I-I need a second to adjust."

Shepard stilled as he gently kissed his green-eyed lover. "Just tell me what you want, baby."

"Y-you can move a little now," Aaron said as he finally caught his breath.

Little-by-little, Shepard finally found himself buried to the hilt inside his beloved Aaron. 

"Are you okay, baby?" Shepard asked as he softly kissed the tears from his lover's eyes.

"I-it hurts," Aaron admitted truthfully, as he tried to breathe through the pain.

"I'm hurting you. We don't have to do this. I-if I'm too big, we can stop. I-I'll just pull out," the blue-eyed blonde offered, not wishing to cause his beautiful lover any more unnecessary pain.

"D-don't you dare," the green-eyed teen scolded. "The pain is easing. I just need a minute."

Shepard waited patiently as his lover's body adjusted to the size of his sex.

"J, baby, you can move now," Aaron assured him as he held tight to Shepard's neck.

"You sure," Shepard whispered.

"Positive," Aaron assured his blue-eyed lover as he wrapped his legs around Shepard's narrow waist. "Just go slow, yeah."

Shepard just nodded as he did just as his lover asked. "You okay, baby," the young blonde asked as he slowly moved in and out of his lover's tight body.

"Y-yeah… Can you go faster now, baby," Aaron asked as he tightened his legs around Shepard's waist.

Shepard continued to do what was asked of him, and it wasn’t long before he had Aaron moaning under him.

"Fuck, J," Aaron whined as he Shepard continued to thrust into him. "Your cock feels so good. I'm so fucking close."

"Do you wanna cum for me, baby?" The blue-eyed blonde asked softly, taking his lover in hand, trying desperately to bring his lover to completion.

"Yes!" Aaron whined as he kissed his beloved J passionately.

'I love this man so much. I'd give my life just to make him happy,' Shepard admitted silently, as he brought Aaron to his peak, loving the feel of the older teen's body as it spasmed around his cock.

"Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck!" Aaron screamed as his orgasm hit him hard, his body convulsing in ecstasy, causing Shepard to follow suit.

Shepard gave a sharp cry as his body convulsed in pleasure — spasming violently inside of the green-eyed teen. 

Aaron pulled Shepard close and held him tightly as the blue-eyed beauty rode out his orgasm.

Once Shepard's body was well and truly spent, he collapsed atop his green-eyed lover as he struggled to catch his breath.

Aaron gently stroked Shepard's sweat-soaked hair, waiting for his young love to come down from his sexual high.

Once the young blonde's breathing returned to normal, Shepard slowly pulled out of the green-eyed beauty, leaving Aaron feeling empty and well-used.

"Was it good for you, Aaron?" Shepard asked nervously after disposing of the used condom, hoping his beloved had enjoyed the act as much as he had.

"It was amazing, baby," Aaron assured, as he kissed the top of Shepard's head. "It's **your** birthday, baby. Did **you** enjoy your present?" 

"More than you'll ever know," the blue-eyed blonde admitted. 

"I'm glad," Aaron laughed softly. "I think I'm going to be sore for a while."

"Yeah, sorry about that," Shepard apologized sympathetically. "What are you going to tell Elise?"

"I'll just tell her that my ankle is acting up," Aaron replied with a chuckle. "Seriously, how long will I be sore?"

"No longer than a few days," Shepard assured the green-eyed teen.

"Totally worth it," Aaron grinned as he kissed his J passionately.

"Thank you for my gift. I'll treasure it always," the blue-eyed teen whispered.

"I was glad to give it. I can't imagine ever letting anyone but you inside me," the older teen admitted honestly. "I love you, J."

"I love you too, Aaron," Shepard replied as he snuggled closer to his beloved.

"Happy Birthday, J," Aaron whispered as he held the younger teen tighter. "Goodnight, baby."

"Goodnight, Aaron," Shepard whispered with a yawn as he kissed his lover goodnight.

"Sleep well, love," Aaron whispered as he kissed Shepard gently on the forehead. "I wish tonight could last forever. I guess we'll just have to let it ride, huh, J."

"Uh-huh," Shepard mumbled, "I love you, Aaron…"

"I love you too, J. Forever, yeah," Aaron whispered as he, too, closed his weary eyes. "Forever…"

  
  


**"Piece Of Your Heart"**

**By Mayday Parade**

Give me your misery

All of it give it to me

I can hold onto it for you

It's not a problem

I just want your energy

A piece of that fractured mountain

I'll take whatever comes with it as long as it's yours

All I know is that I want it more than yesterday

If I was waiting, I was waiting for just one little spark

You are the brightest I've seen

You are the best side of me

And just for when we're apart

I've got a piece of your heart

But I want the whole damn thing

I feel it inside of me

I feel it inside of you too

Seeing forever this downcast bleed from the sky

Could never sever through

Not what we have me and you

Burning together and burning forever

I don't know, I just can feel it in the atmosphere

If I'm wandering, I've wandered into just the right spot

You are the fire in my sleep

You are the reason I dream

And just for when we're apart

I've got a piece of your heart

I've got a piece of your heart

But I want the whole damn thing

Say hello to all my problems for me

Tell them sorry, I can't be around anymore

The years will go on

We'll get older and then we'll die

But we'll get by

And it goes on

Forever just like this

If I could go back

I'd do it all over with you again

I've got a piece of your heart

But I want the whole damn thing

Say hello to all my problems for me

Tell them sorry, I can't be around anymore

Years will go on

We'll get older and then we'll die

But we'll get by

**© Mayday Parade**

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's it. LOL. I hope you enjoyed it. I am thinking of making the series a trilogy, the final one being about Shepard's life after "Just Breathe". Let me know if anyone is interested.
> 
> **The ending passage is a song (Piece of Your Heart) by the band, Mayday Parade. It suits Aaron and Shepard very well I think. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! I am grateful to anyone who takes the time to view my work. Much love to you all! =)


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